"Husband's suck" "I blame my husband" Etc....

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  • aeryn69
    aeryn69 Posts: 35 Member
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    Overall I agree with much of what you've said - the only way to lose the weight and keep it off is by taking personal responsiblity for it. But I have to disagree in part with this:
    For husbands that tell you that you need to work harder:
    Hey, maybe you do!
    ....
    Be happy that your husband wants you to work harder, that means he wants you to succeed!!! It means he KNOWS that you can working, he KNOWS that you can do this! It means he has faith in you!

    There are some husbands that are wonderful and this is really what they mean when they say it. Unfortunately I've had far too mcuh experience with people (men and women) who say things because they want to be hurtful, or because in truth they really don't want you to succeed. Some people just like to be mean. Some SO's want to keep their spouses overweight because they feel that gives them more control over their spouses. In these cases overweight means lower self esteem which means they can be shamed and bossed around more easily. Some friends secretly try to sabotage you because they want you to be the "fat friend", they feel it makes them more attractive and interesting in comparison to you.

    So sometimes when people are venting about things like these, they have very legitimate complaints.
  • SavannaN
    SavannaN Posts: 148
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    I 100% agree with you!!! Thank you for saying everything you said!!!!
  • NovemberJune
    NovemberJune Posts: 2,525 Member
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    I mostly agree. I'm fortunate that I have a relationship of mutual love and respect. It would be easier for me to lose if DH would eat well and buy less junk to tempt me. But it's ultimately my choices that matter. If I gave up on my fitness goals, I would want my husband to urge me back in the right direction. But I definitely would tell me u need to work harder ad long as I'm following my plan. Some people are in bad relationships unfortunately.
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
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    OP, when you said 'female dog', I had NO idea what you meant LOL :laugh: I read the post and I was like...huh...is this about being an alpha female? Leader of the pack? Strong woman behind your husband? I don't get the dog reference....


    DURRRRRR :tongue:


    (I get it now).

    Anywho...I'm not married, (hopefully I will be soon!), but my boyfriend hates vegetables and fish, and loooooves burgers and sausage and eats a TON. When I cook for him, he'll generally eat enough to be nice, and will be honest that it's not his 'thing', and I am neither offended nor put off of eating my delicious healthy meal. He knows that when we have kids he has to pretend to LOVE veggies. For now, he can order a big juicy burger and I can order a salad, and if he's not full after dinner he'll make himself a PBJ. When we go shopping, I buy the groceries and try to make healthy variations of stuff he likes. I am blessed with a wonderful relationship, but we are all blessed with free will and willpower to choose how we treat our bodies. :smile:
  • Thriceshy
    Thriceshy Posts: 707 Member
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    First off of all, I'm not a "female dog", but I'm going to come off as one, just fair warning...

    I've read too many posts lately with women blaming their husbands & saying it's their fault that they're overweight.
    Also read another blog about a woman who was furious at her husband because he told her she needed to try harder.

    Unless your husband is strapping you to a chair & force feeding you... he's not forcing you to eat the foods you're eating:
    My husband doesn't like healthy food, & I know it's time consuming & takes money to make two different meals. So I don't. I eat what he eats with MODERATION!.... If you don't want to eat in moderation, that's fine, work out! Do you know how many minutes in a day you spend just going to the bathroom alone? You can't tell me that you don't have 5 minutes to work out a day? 5 minutes is better than nothing isn't it?

    For husbands that tell you that you need to work harder:
    Hey, maybe you do! My husband tells me that, and I don't like to hear it, but guess what- He's totally right. My husband knows me better than I know myself. And maybe he remembered that fun-size candy bar I ate earlier that I totally forgot about. Be happy that your husband wants you to work harder, that means he wants you to succeed!!! It means he KNOWS that you can working, he KNOWS that you can do this! It means he has faith in you!

    I know some husband ARE jerks & some do say hurtful things.
    But there's also us as women take things too personally & think too much into things.

    Why did you marry your husband? Because you LOVE & RESPECT one another. And let me tell you what, he's the one person you shouldn't complain about. Problems with a husband should be between you and you husband! And complaining about him is NOT respectful & loving. Especially on a message board! Got a problem with him- talk to him.


    I know I'm probably going to get some mean comments on here, and honestly I don't care. Someone needed to say this...

    Great, so that's your situation and it works for you. What's that got to do with anyone else's situation? You can't make the call as to whether or not a particular poster's husband is supportive or not, and you can't judge whether or not a particular wife's complaints are legitimate. Some of us really do NEED our families on board to keep us on track, sometimes "eating what he eats in moderation" doesn't work--I'm diabetic, I can't just suck down macaroni and cheese, gravy-laden stuffings, butter-soaked veggies, lemonade, french fries, and chocolate cake "in moderation." I actually have to make healthy changes so that I can eat full, satisfying meals, and woe to any man who tells me he's going to fill my world with junk food and candy when my health is riding on it. My husband is utterly supportive, and that is one of the biggest reasons why *I* am succeeding--my family's support. Without that, I might be lost, and as a wife, I expect that support. It's part of marriage. He supports me because he loves and respects me. If a woman isn't getting that support, it's perfectly understandable that she would need to express that to someone. *I* wouldn't do it in a public forum, but I can totally sympathize with those who do. They feel at their rope's end and need feedback and fresh eyes to help them find a new approach.

    You're smart; if it's a husband-shouting thread, avoid it if it causes you such grief. That needed to be said, too.

    Kris
  • myiceisonfire
    myiceisonfire Posts: 782 Member
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    OP, when you said 'female dog', I had NO idea what you meant LOL :laugh: I read the post and I was like...huh...is this about being an alpha female? Leader of the pack? Strong woman behind your husband? I don't get the dog reference....


    DURRRRRR :tongue:


    (I get it now).

    Anywho...I'm not married, (hopefully I will be soon!), but my boyfriend hates vegetables and fish, and loooooves burgers and sausage and eats a TON. When I cook for him, he'll generally eat enough to be nice, and will be honest that it's not his 'thing', and I am neither offended nor put off of eating my delicious healthy meal. He knows that when we have kids he has to pretend to LOVE veggies. For now, he can order a big juicy burger and I can order a salad, and if he's not full after dinner he'll make himself a PBJ. When we go shopping, I buy the groceries and try to make healthy variations of stuff he likes. I am blessed with a wonderful relationship, but we are all blessed with free will and willpower to choose how we treat our bodies. :smile:

    Ahahaha! I couldn't figure out how to put it, because the first time I tried the word it did ***** to me =P And nobody would understand that for sure lol

    I totally agree with you. You can eat what you want, he can eat what he wants. You just need to make sure what you're eating and how much. It's all on you. =) And you can't blame him for letting you eat stuff. We're adults, we are incharge of what we eat.
  • Thriceshy
    Thriceshy Posts: 707 Member
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    Personally I don't blame my husband because I am overweight and he is really supportive of me. But, who are you to tell someone how to feel and what they should and shouldn't post about their husbands. If it does not break forum rules and it makes them feel better. So be it! Why are you letting what other's say about their husbands affect how you feel?

    Because she has the same freedom to express herself as you do! I am a United States Marine! We all have the right to say how we feel whether we agree or not. So let us not get into the whole "who are you to tell someone rap. FYI the constitution said we could. Happy Independence Day!!!

    This is a common misperception--we actually do not have "the right to say how we feel whether we agree or not" on a privately owned message forum. First amendment goes out the window in private venues--the owner determines what may or may not be expressed, and we all agreed to that when we signed up.

    Happy 4th of July to you, too!

    Kris
  • edorice
    edorice Posts: 4,519 Member
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    I agree completely. Granted, I gained my weight technically because of my husband, but not because I felt it was his fault, it was because mentally, he made me feel great no matter how I looked, so I lost sense of my health. When I wanted to begin a healthy life style, I told my husband that he could join me if he wanted, but if he didn't, I still was, and that I needed to do this myself. Husbands tend to get a bad rep, but all in all, you are responsible for yourself.

    No, you gained your weight technically because you didnt eat right or exercise. Technically, he didnt force feed you crap or prevent you from moving. You are the master of your fate and the captain of your soul!

    Absolutely.

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