Anyone else gained weight due to loneliness?

Not from loneliness only, but general depression. I had to sort that bit out first and then I could focus on weight loss. I know it's cliche, but maybe you should get some counseling. I should have, but didn't because I'm an idiot and a cheapskate. In the mean time, while you're sorting out what the next mental health step should be, maybe whenever you have the "must order everything on the menu and eat everything in the fridge" feeling (which I know so well), go outside and sunbathe. Go for a walk. Call a friend. Get your nails done. Go babysit for a friend. Go to the ASPCA and pet a cat/dog/ferret--that's actually incredibly helpful, believe it or not. Or, what most people will tell you on here: Go to the gym. Exercise is a good way to feel good about yourself, accomplished, and it releases endorphins. I'm no weightloss expert and I'm not someone who particularly likes herself, but I know what it's like to feel alone and super down. Hang in there, friend. You have the power.

Osiris275 wrote: »

You sound just like me. I fact, I could have written that. Which is why when I got to 252lbs I figured nothing is ever going to change but I can lose weight and be happier! Vie lost around 85lbs now. Still not perfect and I want to lose another 25lbs. Already I feel happier and have more confidence. I'm hoping once I get to my goal I will have more confidence to go out and make some friends and maybe even a relationship (although at my age that terrifies me!). Weight loss has without a doubt been hard but if I get to feel 'normal' then its all been worth it. I was painfully shy before and weight didn't help.

Honestly, give it a shot. The way I saw it was I had nothing to lose. If you want to add me as a friend, please do so! Good luck.

This is very good advice, but it's worth noting that in another post OP said she's 5' 3" and weighs under 100 pounds already.

JaneSnowe wrote: »

Osiris275 wrote: »

You sound just like me. I fact, I could have written that. Which is why when I got to 252lbs I figured nothing is ever going to change but I can lose weight and be happier! Vie lost around 85lbs now. Still not perfect and I want to lose another 25lbs. Already I feel happier and have more confidence. I'm hoping once I get to my goal I will have more confidence to go out and make some friends and maybe even a relationship (although at my age that terrifies me!). Weight loss has without a doubt been hard but if I get to feel 'normal' then its all been worth it. I was painfully shy before and weight didn't help.

Honestly, give it a shot. The way I saw it was I had nothing to lose. If you want to add me as a friend, please do so! Good luck.

This is very good advice, but it's worth noting that in another post OP said she's 5' 3" and weighs under 100 pounds already.

Wow sorry I didn't see the other post

I find myself depressed and alone with a full family!! I'm always doing things for everyone else and putting myself and what I want on the back burner. My sister who was sick for Many years passed away a couple years ago from cancer and I was her caretaker, she was on a feeding tube and couldn't eat a thing sooooo I ate for the both of us...because I was afraid, traumatized from her sickness, her death, my childhood, my family ugh ! I too suffer from occasional depression and feel so alone!
I'm going to be 50 this year! I'm 5'5" and 210 pounds. that's the first time in my life I admitted to my true weight! I can tell my husband is not attracted to my 210 pound body..we haven't had relations in many months! Sometimes as long as a year! Not all his fault don't man hate on me!!
Anyway I've tried counseling and medication for my depression and the medicine wasn't right for me but talking to someone did help a little, but I found that you have to feel your way through this whole process. Cry when you want..take a day to be depressed..(I call it
My mental health day) but then get back up on that wagon. For me I fear I will always feel alone because of my past or my struggles with my weight! But I'm making that step to publicly say "it will be ok!" I will be ok ..I will have positive people in my life !! No haters or shamers! I am worthy of love. Take it day by day! And say hi and smile at someone, you may just make someone else's day better! Ps always looking for friends!! Xox

I understand your problem @GobletofFlames but in a slightly different way. When I'm in a relationship and I'm feeling mighty low I eat.. A lot. I binge an ungodly amount. I have BPD so I have a difficult dynamic with people that I'm in a relationship with. I often feel lonely and empty in relationships at the slightest change of the other person's behavior. If I'm not in a relationship I stop eating all together. I turn off emotions and seek out risky behaviors to attempt to obtain some form of fulfillment. I tend to call myself a hedonist when single to make light of the situation but I know it's some deep inner issue with wanting to feel loved. If I'm in an unloving relationship I'll act out the same except I'll binge eat rather than starve myself.

Also, long story short, I started working with a service dog* at one point in my life to help me with a disability. Now, since I've made great recovery on that disability, he's retired to being simply an emotional support dog** while also just being a pet. It really does help having a pet and Rowan, my ex-service dog, is my best friend. I don't recommend getting a pet out of impulse but you can always reach out to therapy dog*** services that are all over the world. Even volunteering at the local shelter to pet cats or walk dogs is a huge service to those lonely guys while also being beneficial to you.

I recommend trying to see someone. Not every therapist or psychologist is the right match for each individual. I jump between them like crazy. Taking an antidepressant has helped me avoid the lowest of lows and I intend to eventually go off the medication when it's time. Might help you or might not - everyone is different.

You can also try checking out dialectical behavioral therapy on your own which teaches mindfulness. You can find explanations online and cheap workbooks on Amazon. It's used for BPD as well as anxiety disorders, help with depression, eating disorders, and other personality disorders (I also have AvPD). It teaches you how to be in control of your own thoughts to change your actions. I use this currently because I get tired of trying out therapists lol.

Hang in there

Second, as someone studying to become a fish biologist, those poor fish.



And just to clarify before any confusion...
* service dog - a specialized dog trained to perform a task to assist with a disability and given special protection under law to enter establishments since this animal is seen as medical equipment

** emotional support dog - a dog not tasked with performing a task to negate a disability instead they offer emotional support by just being there doing their dog thing. This dog is not allowed in establishments but there are special housing considerations under law for these animals.

*** therapy dogs - a dog which is of calming demeanor permitted per establishment for touch therapy and emotional support. Often these guys are at senior citizens centers or hospitals to help bring happiness.

newmeadow wrote: »

auddii wrote: »

newmeadow wrote: »

snickerscharlie wrote: »

newmeadow wrote: »

Goblet, I knew of this one girl was who said she was depressed a few years ago here at MFP. And when she'd come home from her counseling appointments she would stop at Woolworth's and buy a plastic baggie full of goldfish and bring them home with her to her apartment building. Then she'd put the goldfish in the pool and swim with them because it helped her forget about her depression. She'd always dreamed of doing that and she finally made that dream a reality. She posted about it here once and a lot of people were yelling at her about being mean to the fish because there was chlorine in the pool and she didn't take that into consideration. But she said the fish seemed to be fine and she thrived emotionally as she was able to forget about her depression during those fun swims. It was very therapeutic for her depression. Plus, if you want to lose 10 pounds and be more attractive to men, swimming might be the way to do it.

I'm sure the apartment maintenance peeps just *loved* picking the dead fish outta the skimmer all the time.

Gotta admit that at first I thought you were gonna say that she ate them.

If I remember correctly, her boyfriend said she was fat and also cheated on her and wasn't returning her phone calls. So, in desperation, she sought out some unconventional treatment for a situational depression. I don't know if she thought it through to its most logical cause-and-effect conclusion. I guess that's why she posted about it here at MFP. So the community could help her along.

But she's never been on a date? I'm so lost...

No, no that was this other girl. Not GobletofFlames. I think her name was Transatlantic_001 or Bright Crystal or something like that. I just thought GobletofFlames could relate to the story about depression and boyfriends and loneliness and such as, coincidentally, those other gals had similar difficulties and were looking for advice about them here.

Actually, I think Transatlantic_001 was using some kind of pet therapy too. She had a beagle, and, although she was depressed - she made herself socialize and brought the beagle with her everywhere. She was going perfume shopping before a wine tasting on a rooftop in Hong Kong and she brought the beagle along. I believe she decided upon Calvin Klein's Euphoria after discussing her many perfume options with the community at MFP.

Even though we said she shouldn't do it, she dabbed some perfume behind the beagle's ears and brought him to the wine tasting. Apparently her and the dog were a big hit and everyone loved how the beagle smelled and her outfit was well received. Although some MFPers were very upset about the idea of perfuming a dog against his will and they didn't hesitate to let her know.

She was undaunted by the criticism however, and later in the month she flew first class with her beagle - from Hong Kong to Paris - to shop for haute couture. The couturiers in Paris turned a blind to the beagle and allowed her to enter the premises with him. They knew she was buying, not just eyeing, as her father was a wealthy industrialist and was pleased to pick up the tab for whatever made Transatlantic_001 happy. People were yelling at her here, saying she was spoiled and shallow and bad. But she was very gracious about the onslaughts and just redirected the comments to the larger issue. The alleviation of atypical depression through unconventional means.

Omg I think you're either stoned or Danielle Steele researching for her next book LOL

newmeadow wrote: »

Goblet, I knew of this one girl was who said she was depressed a few years ago here at MFP. And when she'd come home from her counseling appointments she would stop at Woolworth's and buy a plastic baggie full of goldfish and bring them home with her to her apartment building. Then she'd put the goldfish in the pool and swim with them because it helped her forget about her depression. She'd always dreamed of doing that and she finally made that dream a reality. She posted about it here once and a lot of people were yelling at her about being mean to the fish because there was chlorine in the pool and she didn't take that into consideration. But she said the fish seemed to be fine and she thrived emotionally as she was able to forget about her depression during those fun swims. It was very therapeutic for her depression. Plus, if you want to lose 10 pounds and be more attractive to men, swimming might be the way to do it.

WTF?

Weekend shift @ MFP = crazytown.

Lol.