Having Grace with Ourselves During Depression?

I have suffered from bouts of depression for almost 20 years now. It has become a necessity in my life to be medicated all the time or else the depression gets the better of me.

It is more than ok, it is necessary to have grace with yourself during depression. There are few things in life harder than dealing with depression or trying to explain your depression to someone who doesn't understand. I can tell you from my own experiences that forcing yourself out of bed that first time will help you get back on track but please know that you are not alone in your struggles.

Put one foot in front of the other, make the necessary choices to take care of yourself and know that this too shall pass.

Sending hugs your way.

I think it'd be wrong and unhealthy to punish ourselves or put ourselves down when we simply can't push ourselves one day or the next. We should lower our expectations considerably when we're feeling depressed. If we can't stand the thought of working out and choose not to, that's okay. If we can only manage a short walk or a ten minute workout video, that's okay too.

Our mental health is just as important as our physical health and sometimes we just need to give ourselves a break while still maintaining moderation. If one is depressed and wants to treat themselves to ice cream or cookies, they should do so, but in moderation. Have one or two cookies or have a single serving of ice cream, not twelve cookies or a pint of ice cream.

When I am in a slump like that ( I also suffer from Depression) I find that it actually helps me so much to watch what I eat and try to exercise.

Even just not eating that cookie, or parking a little further from the doors at the grocery store helps... It makes me feel better, and gets me through it.

I can relate. You must keep going on the right path, stay strong and stay focused. (((hugs)) :flowerforyou:

Well, first let me say CONGRATS on your weight loss so far! And secondly, yeah, depression sucks. Literally, it sucks the life right out of you. I was up and down with depression for several years and was on and off antidepressants for a long time so I know how it feels to not want to make an effort to do anything. (I still do sometimes but I think that now it's just laziness from slacking off for so long because I'm actually pretty darn happy these days. Lazy but happy is so much better than lifeless and unhappy.)

You bring up a VERY good question though. I think the fact that you're still questioning things and concerned about "undoing" your progress so far is a good sign that you haven't sunk too far into the pit of despair, so that's a good thing. For what it's worth, here's my thinking on the matter...

I'm the 'forgiving' type I guess. I'm always the one that says it's okay to indulge yourself and forgive yourself but remembering back to being depressed I can see how that is/was a very slippery slope. I guess it's still a matter of balance and not going overboard all the time. Example: You get up and eat a bag of Oreos for breakfast and you feel like crap about it but instead of wallowing in that feeling and continuing to gorge yourself all day, you pick yourself up and say, Okay, I had Oreos for breakfast so now I have to have a salad for lunch and some veggies for supper. The downward spiral is what got me every time. I feel bad so I eat (or ***** or stress or cry) then I feel even worse so I do it again, etc, etc. It sounds like you're still in a fairly logical (vs. overly emotional) and self-supporting (vs. destructive) frame of mind so I think you have the capacity to pick yourself up and regain/maintain some balance in your eating habits. Yes, go ahead and have some cookies or ice cream sometimes, but don't always have them in the pantry/freezer. Buy snack size bags of cookies or individual portions of ice cream but keeping them handy (all the time and in large quantities) is asking for trouble. Also make sure you have other healthier foods readily available. I know 'instant meals' aren't the BEST fuel for your body but a lean cuisine beats a tub of ice cream when you're hungry and don't feel like making the effort to cook. Keep the fridge stocked with veggies and fruits so that you've got them when you need them, and try to find the easiest possible ways to prepare things so that you don't have to put out much effort to fix something when you need it.

As far as exercise goes, well, I hate it. Always have, probably always will. Even now when i'm happy and thrilled with my weight loss I still rarely get up the energy to exercise, so take this with a grain of salt, but I think the basic premise behind it is sound... Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up about it. Give yourself permission to skip a workout in exchange for taking a short walk. Not knowing what type of exercise you were doing or how much, it's hard to guess what your minimum effort should be, but put some thought into what you were doing, what you'd like to be doing, and what your minimum effort should be. Establish a very basic guideline that you can live with and that you won't hate yourself for. And be REALLY gentle with it. Failing to meet that minimum will only make you feel worse, so make it really small, like walking around the block or doing 20 situps, something you can achieve on even your worst day. That way, you are SUCCEEDING in keeping yourself moving (if only a little) rather than FAILING to work out. Again, that downward spiral is a killer. If you feel like you're failing, you're going to keep failing (or at least that's how I was), but a small glimmer of success can be the light at the end of the tunnel. Focus on those successes (the walk or the salad) and do your very best to forget about the lapses (don't even call them failures because that is negative reinforcement and you don't need that).

And lastly, have you thought about medication? I know it sucks feeling like you can't 'keep it together' without the help of meds but your brain chemistry can get messed up and meds can help balance it out. I hated starting on antidepressants and tried to get off of them several times before I was finally able to stay off long term so I get it. Talk to your doctor about trying something for a while to help get you over the hump to where you are starting to feel normal again. Don't let them convince you that you need to be on them for years though. Once you're over the hump and start to feel better, you're more able to make the other changes that will help keep you better, then you can try to come off the meds. (And DO work on other things in your life as well, find a hobby you enjoy, meditate, read self-help books, whatever works for you.) For me the decision to take drugs came down to the question "Do I want to be a medicated human being or an unmedicated moody *****?" (Trust me, feeling human is the way to go!) Especially once I realized that I was teaching my daughter all the wrong ways of dealing with stress (and life in general) and didn't want her to follow in my footsteps.

Hope I haven't bored you silly or scared you off, but I just wanted to share some of what I've learned over the years. Feel free to friend me and/or send a message if there's anything else I might be able to help you with. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself and when the going gets rough, ask yourself "What would I tell my best friend right now?" then TELL YOURSELF THE SAME THING! I know it can be very hard to love yourself and forgive yourself but if you always remember to show yourself the same respect and compassion you would show someone else, it really does help. :flowerforyou:

Hi,

Everyone gets depressed, welcome to the club! Here are a few suggestions. Go for a walk during the day and get some sun in or on you. I have been walking briskly for a few weeks and I learned that being outside and getting a work-out does wonders to your mental state. You might actually put those "sweets" away.

However, I suspect your craving for sweets is due to something else--I just can't be sure if you are not getting enough nutrients or "good" carbs.

If you don't like walking, find an exercise you like and do it! Attack it as hard as you can and I promise in a couple of weeks, your body will yearn for it. I find it difficult not to swim or walk now that I have done it for a while. Keep track of your exercise like your food only so that it will remind you of how much you have accomplished and it might help you not eat those sweets.

Most importantly, I find that keeping a consistent schedule (and sleep) is very important. I suggest waking up early in the morning (if you don't already) and plan your day. Planning is like tracking your calories and it will make you look forward to the rest of the day. When you are consistently doing things, then add some variety and become spontaneous again with the knowledge that a good foundation will keep you healthy.

Good health to you.

I want to clarify the topic of sleep (management). I suggest you sleep 7 hours a day and then 6 if you don't feel better. From what I learned, more sleep means that you will maintain depression.

Exercise shortly before you eat as it will help curb your appetite. I suggest you read Dr. McDougall's Program for Maximum Weight Loss. You can find it used, I have been following it and I have been happy with it, but it might work differently from you.

Fellow depression-er here. The sympathetic side of me wants to say "Sure, go ahead and let the routine fall while you're depressed." But the other side of me wants to say "Nah, keep with your ultimate plan." I think moderation is key, but when all you wanna do is a whole lot of nothing, it's hard to be moderate.

I plan to just make myself tough through it. Even if I'm halfassing the exercise, it's better than nothing. Stick as close to your calorie goal as possible, but don't beat yourself up if you go over by a few hundred calories. My depression tends to linger for weeks. I don't want to allow myself to completely let go for that long and undo my hard work. Post-depression cleanup is bad enough, but dealing with 5-15# of regained weight is not something that I'm willing to deal with.

But that's me.

Thank you all for sharing... so many of us struggle with depression. It's nice to be with others who can relate.

I felt myself slipping a bit yesterday... recognized the feeling that I easily could head into a bad place emotionally. Logging on to MFP and reading what others were doing and thinking saved me. I did it quietly, not posting but just reading. There are so many topics to read. It really helped me! I had to focus on myself a bit and re-adjust. It worked, I then went out in the sun and tanned and thought and wondered about a million things. Felt a bit sad and lonely but then remembered how relaxing it was to have some me time. Put some fun music on, played with the dog... and then both my kids called to visit before hubby got home.

Ended up being a great afternoon for me. ALL THANKS TO MY FRIENDS ON MFP! I'm so appreciative for this site and all of you!

Hang in there everyone... we all have bumps in the road... we all know how it feels... and we are all here for each other. Amazing!