Grumpy old men at neighborhood gym
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katandwaves
Posts: 67 Member
I've been working off and on for many years at a gym. Just this past week I decided to use my neighborhood gym (small room) twice a week to give me more time in the morning to get ready for work.
I have never dealt with *kitten* like these before. There's an oscillating fan in there that was on when I came in. An older guy comes in and just unplugs the fan. I ask if he can please plug it in. He gives me a dirty look and says aren't you cold? I said, I won't be in 2 minutes. Later, an even older man comes in and looks at me and points to his wrist. I take off my earbuds and say 20 mins left. He throws his arms up in the air, temper tantrum. Finally when I'm finished I politely ask the guy if he'd like me to unplug the fan. Like an *kitten*, he says I'll turn it off, and jumps off his elliptical. I was walking out off the room when I hear him yank the cord so hard I thought the whole fan and wall would fall down. It startled me, so I turned around and asked, in a *kitten* tone, do you have a problem?!
He says no, I'm just an old man set n my ways, dear. I just left. I didn't even care that i left my water bottle in there. So pissed! Now I have to get ready for work.
I have never dealt with *kitten* like these before. There's an oscillating fan in there that was on when I came in. An older guy comes in and just unplugs the fan. I ask if he can please plug it in. He gives me a dirty look and says aren't you cold? I said, I won't be in 2 minutes. Later, an even older man comes in and looks at me and points to his wrist. I take off my earbuds and say 20 mins left. He throws his arms up in the air, temper tantrum. Finally when I'm finished I politely ask the guy if he'd like me to unplug the fan. Like an *kitten*, he says I'll turn it off, and jumps off his elliptical. I was walking out off the room when I hear him yank the cord so hard I thought the whole fan and wall would fall down. It startled me, so I turned around and asked, in a *kitten* tone, do you have a problem?!
He says no, I'm just an old man set n my ways, dear. I just left. I didn't even care that i left my water bottle in there. So pissed! Now I have to get ready for work.
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Replies
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If I was there with you, I'd talk so much kitten to them and break his wrist if he ever messed with your workout again.1
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So you're new to a small gym where the regulars have set patterns and have their own little ways and it sounds like you've overridden it all without being pleasant or polite
I think your attitude is fairly unmannerly tbh6 -
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Yeah, screw being mannerly. Old "regulars who are set in their ways" need a wake up call as to how to behave in public. I've encountered similar d-bags at the various gyms I've been a member of through the years. Some people get to thinking they own the place just because they've been going for years.8
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I went for a swim last year at a time/place where it appears a few seniors went regularly. The lone male in the group spent the entire time just staring at me. Didn't swim. A couple females each did one or two laps but mostly just hung around with the male watching me. Their gathering made it so that I couldn't swim a full length. I have to guess that this behaviour was purposeful. It worked, I didn't go back. It's ok though, I had enough variety in my workouts that I didn't need the pool. In your case, it sounds like it would be to your benefit to keep going. I like to think that next time would be less uncomfortable and the time after that might even seem fine. Surely the worst is over, right?0
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Old people are the worse. As we age our best or worst character traits come out and the worst stop embracing change, thinking they are entitled through age. There are some real *kitten* out there. Best to trash talk them and back them down.3
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I felt kind of bad after I had a run in with a old timer.
He was smarting off about the level of weights I was lifting 175 pound butterflies and I told him If I had as much time left as you do, i wouldn't be that grumpy all the time. . Needless to say he hasn't said much since.
I hate being that rude, but sometimes don't let them *kitten* on your face, open your mouth.5 -
katandwaves wrote: »
But you changed the routine of the gym. Who is the Bully and who is being Bullied? How do YOU get the right to establish the climate of the gym? A climate that may have been in place for years prior to your appearance. At least these "grumpy old men" were tolerant of you. They did allow the fan to stay on, right? And yet, you're the one complaining.killdontmurder wrote: »If I was there with you, I'd talk so much kitten to them and break his wrist if he ever messed with your workout again.
Is your response to all disagreements violence?futureicon wrote: »Yeah, screw being mannerly. Old "regulars who are set in their ways" need a wake up call as to how to behave in public. I've encountered similar d-bags at the various gyms I've been a member of through the years. Some people get to thinking they own the place just because they've been going for years.
And YOU "own the place" showing up for the first time? Rules and/or customs that may have been in place for years get to be upset on your say so? The newcomer?6 -
katandwaves wrote: »
But you changed the routine of the gym. Who is the Bully and who is being Bullied? How do YOU get the right to establish the climate of the gym? A climate that may have been in place for years prior to your appearance. At least these "grumpy old men" were tolerant of you. They did allow the fan to stay on, right? And yet, you're the one complaining.killdontmurder wrote: »If I was there with you, I'd talk so much kitten to them and break his wrist if he ever messed with your workout again.
Is your response to all disagreements violence?futureicon wrote: »Yeah, screw being mannerly. Old "regulars who are set in their ways" need a wake up call as to how to behave in public. I've encountered similar d-bags at the various gyms I've been a member of through the years. Some people get to thinking they own the place just because they've been going for years.
And YOU "own the place" showing up for the first time? Rules and/or customs that may have been in place for years get to be upset on your say so? The newcomer?
yeah, i don't understand how someone turning off a fan is 'bullying'...?1 -
Old people are the worse. As we age our best or worst character traits come out and the worst stop embracing change, thinking they are entitled through age. There are some real *kitten* out there. Best to trash talk them and back them down.
Old people are just people, some good some bad. The difference is the "respect your elders" societal view. It's easier to deal with a young *kitten* than an old one.
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I find that a lot of old men feel entitled and are also sexist even if they don't realize it. I've only ever encountered men who expect me to just give stuff over to them at the gym. It's ridiculous.4
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Old people are the worse. As we age our best or worst character traits come out and the worst stop embracing change, thinking they are entitled through age. There are some real *kitten* out there. Best to trash talk them and back them down.
Whoa. I've experienced some extremely rude, ignorant, selfish & self-entitled people at my gym,but just because the majority of them happen to be "young" people, I certainly don't paint all "young" people with that brush.
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katandwaves wrote: »
But you changed the routine of the gym. Who is the Bully and who is being Bullied? How do YOU get the right to establish the climate of the gym? A climate that may have been in place for years prior to your appearance. At least these "grumpy old men" were tolerant of you. They did allow the fan to stay on, right? And yet, you're the one complaining.killdontmurder wrote: »If I was there with you, I'd talk so much kitten to them and break his wrist if he ever messed with your workout again.
Is your response to all disagreements violence?futureicon wrote: »Yeah, screw being mannerly. Old "regulars who are set in their ways" need a wake up call as to how to behave in public. I've encountered similar d-bags at the various gyms I've been a member of through the years. Some people get to thinking they own the place just because they've been going for years.
And YOU "own the place" showing up for the first time? Rules and/or customs that may have been in place for years get to be upset on your say so? The newcomer?
Calm down dude. She said she was there first. If there is a fan in the gym, it is to be used. This guy can't just walk over and change something somebody is using when he wasn't there first. How long you've been at a gym doesn't entitle you to just call all the shots? Chill.
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grigglipuff wrote: »katandwaves wrote: »
But you changed the routine of the gym. Who is the Bully and who is being Bullied? How do YOU get the right to establish the climate of the gym? A climate that may have been in place for years prior to your appearance. At least these "grumpy old men" were tolerant of you. They did allow the fan to stay on, right? And yet, you're the one complaining.killdontmurder wrote: »If I was there with you, I'd talk so much kitten to them and break his wrist if he ever messed with your workout again.
Is your response to all disagreements violence?futureicon wrote: »Yeah, screw being mannerly. Old "regulars who are set in their ways" need a wake up call as to how to behave in public. I've encountered similar d-bags at the various gyms I've been a member of through the years. Some people get to thinking they own the place just because they've been going for years.
And YOU "own the place" showing up for the first time? Rules and/or customs that may have been in place for years get to be upset on your say so? The newcomer?
Calm down dude. She said she was there first. If there is a fan in the gym, it is to be used. This guy can't just walk over and change something somebody is using when he wasn't there first. How long you've been at a gym doesn't entitle you to just call all the shots? Chill.
But, "This guy" turned the fan back on and left it on while she was there. He was the tolerant one and she is the one complaining. And, yes going to a gym for a period of time, can lead to certain customs that are adopted during certain periods of the day. "If there is a fan in the gym, it is to be used." Or not used as the users of the gym at the time see fit. If there was also a heater in the gym , must IT too be used?2 -
katandwaves wrote: »
But you changed the routine of the gym. Who is the Bully and who is being Bullied? How do YOU get the right to establish the climate of the gym? A climate that may have been in place for years prior to your appearance. At least these "grumpy old men" were tolerant of you. They did allow the fan to stay on, right? And yet, you're the one complaining.killdontmurder wrote: »If I was there with you, I'd talk so much kitten to them and break his wrist if he ever messed with your workout again.
Is your response to all disagreements violence?futureicon wrote: »Yeah, screw being mannerly. Old "regulars who are set in their ways" need a wake up call as to how to behave in public. I've encountered similar d-bags at the various gyms I've been a member of through the years. Some people get to thinking they own the place just because they've been going for years.
And YOU "own the place" showing up for the first time? Rules and/or customs that may have been in place for years get to be upset on your say so? The newcomer?
The point is, this is a public place, not this guy's personal home gym, so regardless is he's been coming there since the 1950's he doesn't have the right to establish the customs, courtesies, or rules of the place.6 -
I find it's always best to give people the benefit of the doubt, particularly when 'invading' their territory. So personally I would err on the side of being polite and accommodating when joining a new place- which to be fair to OP I think she was to start with as she said 'can you please plug it back in' .. it just seemed to go downhill from there as her back went up
I agree that everyone has equal rights, but I am old enough to realise there is generally a status quo in any place (gym, club or even forum) that is created by regulars and old-timers. Not to say that can't be changed.
The world is so much better when we all treat others with a modicum of respect.
Hands up if your mother, or grandmother ever told you 'You catch more flies with honey'
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futureicon wrote: »katandwaves wrote: »
But you changed the routine of the gym. Who is the Bully and who is being Bullied? How do YOU get the right to establish the climate of the gym? A climate that may have been in place for years prior to your appearance. At least these "grumpy old men" were tolerant of you. They did allow the fan to stay on, right? And yet, you're the one complaining.killdontmurder wrote: »If I was there with you, I'd talk so much kitten to them and break his wrist if he ever messed with your workout again.
Is your response to all disagreements violence?futureicon wrote: »Yeah, screw being mannerly. Old "regulars who are set in their ways" need a wake up call as to how to behave in public. I've encountered similar d-bags at the various gyms I've been a member of through the years. Some people get to thinking they own the place just because they've been going for years.
And YOU "own the place" showing up for the first time? Rules and/or customs that may have been in place for years get to be upset on your say so? The newcomer?
The point is, this is a public place, not this guy's personal home gym, so regardless is he's been coming there since the 1950's he doesn't have the right to establish the customs, courtesies, or rules of the place.
I disagree, someone has to establish the customs, courtesies and/or rules of the place, why not those who have been going and acting under those rules, customs and courtesies since the "1950's"? I don't understand what gives YOU the right that he does not have. The question is, fan on/fan off. Those who have been coming regularly at that time get to decide? First come on that day gets to decide? YOU get to decide because YOU say so?
Bottom line here is that the person who got her way in having the fan left on is the one complaining.
I'm done here. Ciao. Live on, folks. Try to be nice to each other. Let's not break anyone's wrist ;- )1 -
I am surprised there is disagreement over the OPs behavior. Surely even if the older men were the regulars and she disrupted their routine, they could have been more courteous or explained their position. Ask to change the fan placement so it mostly just hits the OP? Explain they get really cold and ask if they could just turn it down? Not act rude when someone who has the equipment (in every gym I have ever been to it is-first come, first serve). Be grateful for the courtesy she showed asking if she should unplug it when done and accept the gesture?
While she may have disrupted their routine, she is not at fault for violating any customs, courtesies, or rules that no one informs her of.
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This, exactly. I read nothing rude into anything she did. She stood up for herself, and that is absolutely necessary. She was courteous without being a pushover.
It's easy for a woman to feel vulnerable at a gym. Just vulnerable to scrutiny or anything. We have to be strong and, as ANY time a woman acts strong, she is seen as a *kitten*.4
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