ideal v realistic eaters / feel worse about myself

2

Replies

  • dolliesdaughter
    dolliesdaughter Posts: 544 Member
    edited July 2016
    I think you are zeroing in on what you perceive as the perfect way to eat. We are all unique and you need to find what works for you. BTW I hate kale.
  • silvilunazul
    silvilunazul Posts: 59 Member
    If you feel you have overall improved your eating habits and if you are reaching your goals through your current plan, then why are other peoples' diaries making you feel bad? Do what works for you and if it stops working, adjust.
  • letthetrexout
    letthetrexout Posts: 10 Member
    I agree, it does come down to eating what you actually like to eat without putting any shame on the food type. If everyone were to be assigned the exact same diet, the world would be super boring (and grumpy). Everyone's tastes are different, and that's a-ok and even worth celebrating.
  • smiles4jo
    smiles4jo Posts: 202 Member
    I don’t share my diary, but, believe me, it doesn’t include a ton of healthy stuff.

    Most mornings for breakfast, I have a breakfast sandwich from the local coffee shop that includes an English muffin, egg and cheese (280 calories). Lunch is usually leftovers from last night’s dinner and dinner is whatever was quick when I walked in the door from work. Usually, it’s something like boneless chicken, veggies and a side dish of some kind. If you took a look at my snacks, you’d think I was a four year old as they usually include stuff like rice krispy squares, granola bars, goldfish crackers, string cheese, etc…

    In spite of that (or perhaps BECAUSE of that), I’ve lost 41 lbs over the last 6 months. This is the first ‘diet’ I’ve been on that I could actually eat food that I liked and wanted to eat and not feel like I was eating what I was ‘supposed’ to eat. So, I don’t feel deprived and that makes this almost easy…Almost! lol
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
    Gallowmere1984 wrote: »
    Need2Exerc1se wrote: »
    Trish1c wrote: »
    I think I'm improving but parts of this site make me feel WORSE about myself because I'm not eating perfectly.

    How do I find diaries & people I can relate to more?

    What makes wheatgrass and kale 'better' than bbq and yogurt and smoothies and corn and potatoes? Don't compare yourself or your diet to others. Statistically we are all likely to fail at maintaining weight loss. Eating foods you don't enjoy is not going to help you beat that statistic.

    Pffft, I've kept my weight loss running for years. Clearly, everyone just needs to consume sausage, eggs, cheese, fatty fish, and lots of Coke Zero. I can show you the waaaaaay.

    No? Nothing? /sadface

    Congratulations. That doesn't change the statistic. "Most" and "all" are not synonyms after all.
  • shinycrazy
    shinycrazy Posts: 1,081 Member
    My dairy is public! You're welcome to peruse and see the good, the bad, and the ugly. Monday was good, until it wasn't. Oops. But I log it an move on. I had a cuban sandwich for lunch and some peaches. I'll get on the elliptical tonight to burn off a few of those bites. I live by the IIFYM (if it fits your macros), though I don't really adhere to the proportions that MFP gives me. If you are reaching your goals eating the way you are now, there isn't a reason to change it, period.
  • Wicked_Seraph
    Wicked_Seraph Posts: 388 Member
    I'm not at goal weight yet, but I've managed to lose 40+ lbs so far by eating whatever I want. I've never bothered with organic, and I only eat the fruits and veggies that I truly like. Broccoli is love, broccoli is life :heart:

    I don't eat that differently - I'm mainly VERY cautious about how much and what I eat, and I'm always looking for low-cal alternatives because I like to eat a lot, volume-wise. I work around my normal eating habits: light or no lunch and a nice, hefty dinner.
  • teanahk
    teanahk Posts: 81 Member
    I like kale. In kale chip form, so it's basically just there to hold the oil, salt and spices together. Lol.

    I start most days with a couple of fried eggs on toast. Lunch is often cheese and crackers. I try to get the veggies in at dinner. Most days there are cookies.

    Last year I lost 35 pounds eating like this by keeping a close eye on portion sizes. I took a bit of a maintenance break but have started logging again this week. I could use a couple new pals for motivation :)
  • 2011rocket3touring
    2011rocket3touring Posts: 1,346 Member
    I look at those diets and look at the "4 hours of exercise" and I ask myself "can they sustain this?
    Personally I can't, so I do my 1hr a day 6 days a week, eat normal food within my calorie allowance (mostly) and am focusing on the rest of my life, focusing on creating forever habits.
    ...I put Bailey's Irish Creme in my protein yesterday. (I was getting ready for bed).
  • onefortyone
    onefortyone Posts: 531 Member
    I am mostly watching portion sizes, adding veggies to my dinner, and counting calories, rather than striving for some 'ideal'.

    So you'll see my diary full of pizza, pasta, tacos, lunchmeat sandwiches, and probably too much creamer in my coffee. I'm combining it with being more active and adding more veggies. It works for my current goals! So don't beat yourself up and hold yourself to someone else's standard!
  • beliaamerica
    beliaamerica Posts: 40 Member
    edited July 2016
    Trish1c wrote: »
    I've been looking at other people's food diaries for inspiration & practically feel food shamed.

    Everybody seems to be eating organic this, wheat grass that, 1/2 tsp of dressing on a bowl of kale salad,.

    I'm never gonna eat that. Ever, no matter what.

    My diary contains food I bought at my local grocery store. It includes the bad stuff. Yes, I ate chips yesterday. I had several drinks at a party over the holiday weekend & pigged out at another BBQ.

    I had a smoothie for breakfast today but many of you would probably tell me I had 2 based on the portion size. Fine. It's still better then the can of regular Pepsi & a donut I had for breakfast every day for the past 20 years. My plan for lunch today is a Greek yogurt & a granola bar; again a major positive change from the pizza & McDonald's I've regularly eaten. For dinner I'm planning grilled chicken breast, an ear of corn (yes, with butter) and maybe a baked potato, again with butter & a sprinkle of salt & pepper. That has always been a pretty typical dinner; I'm just paying attention to the size of the chicken & how much butter I use, plus drinking water not wine.

    I think I'm improving but parts of this site make me feel WORSE about myself because I'm not eating perfectly.

    How do I find diaries & people I can relate to more?

    I dont eat so clean compared to other ppl on here so you can look through my dairy. I have stuff like tacos dorados,tostadas, mole,chorizo. Im Mexican so its hard to be without tortillas. I try to eat the heavy stuff early and I know how you feel I hate veggies and fruits but I know if I want to see results I need to add them in my diet. I've been trying to avoid fast food also because that was my usual diet I'm not used to eating at home but I'm trying to work on it.
  • Ruatine
    Ruatine Posts: 3,424 Member
    Trish1c wrote: »
    I've been looking at other people's food diaries for inspiration & practically feel food shamed.

    Everybody seems to be eating organic this, wheat grass that, 1/2 tsp of dressing on a bowl of kale salad,.

    I'm never gonna eat that. Ever, no matter what.

    My diary contains food I bought at my local grocery store. It includes the bad stuff. Yes, I ate chips yesterday. I had several drinks at a party over the holiday weekend & pigged out at another BBQ.

    I had a smoothie for breakfast today but many of you would probably tell me I had 2 based on the portion size. Fine. It's still better then the can of regular Pepsi & a donut I had for breakfast every day for the past 20 years. My plan for lunch today is a Greek yogurt & a granola bar; again a major positive change from the pizza & McDonald's I've regularly eaten. For dinner I'm planning grilled chicken breast, an ear of corn (yes, with butter) and maybe a baked potato, again with butter & a sprinkle of salt & pepper. That has always been a pretty typical dinner; I'm just paying attention to the size of the chicken & how much butter I use, plus drinking water not wine.

    I think I'm improving but parts of this site make me feel WORSE about myself because I'm not eating perfectly.

    How do I find diaries & people I can relate to more?

    Feel free to take a look at mine; it's open to the public. I try to adhere to the 80/20 rule of eating mostly nutrient-dense foods while still allowing for less nutrient-dense items that I just like to eat. I occasionally eat chips, depending on my meal plan. I also occasionally eat ice cream, cookies, cake, etc. For me, it's all about balance. Find your balance, and you'll be happy - it doesn't matter what other people do. You do you. :flowerforyou:
  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
    When I try to eat "perfectly," I just get into a spiral of failure and self-recrimination. It got much easier once I let go of that expectation. In the past week I've had potato chips, cocktails, french fries, pizza, wine, non-natural peanut butter, and white bread. I've also had snap peas, beets, kale, kidney beans, nectarines, oat milk, bell pepper, and Ezekiel bread. They're just foods -- my body can use all of them for energy and I enjoyed all of them. Sometimes I will look at someone's diary to get food ideas, but comparing yourself to others (IMO) will just lead to unhappiness.

    Do you like what you're eating? Does it fit in your goals? Does it help you feel good? These are the important questions.
  • rph2t
    rph2t Posts: 34 Member
    I eat a lot of different things. I love food, all kinds. My diary is open to friends, feel free to friend me. Some days I eat "healthy" and some days I don't, and I'm just as likely to finish with a deficit either way. I do go over sometimes, but I'm in this for the long haul, and an off day is bound to happen. I always try to eat slightly more of a deficit the day after (not as a punishment, but to create some balance), and I don't let it happen more than once a week. It's all about CICO for me. That's what keeps me losing. I'm sure as I continue, I might have to get stricter about things to see results, but for now, I am losing weight and not having to fight too hard to do it.
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
    Unless they're throwing their eating habits in your face (in which case THEY would be rude and out-of-line), what other people are eating could not possibly be less of your business. You do you...eat what you like and figure out what works for you. It's a little hypocritical of you to say that you feel "food shamed" by what other people are eating, and then start a post criticizing people who choose to eat differently. I go through phases when all I want to eat is kale salad, because I love kale. I wouldn't eat it if I didn't. I also love broccoli, coffee, dark chocolate and very dark stouts, because I happen to like bitter things.

    You'll probably have an easier time achieving your goals, and you'll enjoy the ride a lot more, if you learn to do whatever works for you and ignore what doesn't.
  • meritage4
    meritage4 Posts: 1,441 Member
    Remember it's only the very brave and righteous eaters who have open diaries.
  • Ruatine
    Ruatine Posts: 3,424 Member
    meritage4 wrote: »
    Remember it's only the very brave and righteous eaters who have open diaries.

    Haha, I certainly don't qualify as righteous, so I guess that makes me very brave. :tongue:
  • kluvit
    kluvit Posts: 435 Member
    My recommendation is to eat within your calorie allowance those foods that satisfy you rather than "diet" foods approved by "them." You're welcome to add me as a friend, so you can see my diary -- my weight loss months in early 2012 still included small portions of ice cream after dinner, fried chicken leg with single portion of mashed potatoes, and the occasional french fry (McDonald's small burger and small fry is only 500 calories), taco bell nachos supreme at 450 calories, and so on. Eating real foods that I enjoy is what has allowed me to continue for 4 years. Best wishes on eating what makes YOU successful. It's not a "who can eat the least enjoyable foods" competition. :)
  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,644 Member
    Wolfena wrote: »
    My food diary probably looks a lot like yours.... but I have it set to private now because I got tired of the private messages from those people that you refer to who ate things like bowls of kale with no dressing for dinner telling me all the things I was doing wrong.

    Trust me I know that Donuts are not the best thing in the world for me but I still eat them sometimes I don't need a stranger from online giving me 10,000 reasons why I am ruining my life by having a donut. My goals are for weight loss and general overall Improvement compared to what I was eating/doing previously not to have an ideal low BMI and perfect diet.

    See this is so strange to me. I have been on MFP for almost 5 years and always had an open diary, but not once got a message giving me unsolicited advice on any random thing. This really happens?
  • Ruatine
    Ruatine Posts: 3,424 Member
    Chef_Barbell wrote: »
    Wolfena wrote: »
    My food diary probably looks a lot like yours.... but I have it set to private now because I got tired of the private messages from those people that you refer to who ate things like bowls of kale with no dressing for dinner telling me all the things I was doing wrong.

    Trust me I know that Donuts are not the best thing in the world for me but I still eat them sometimes I don't need a stranger from online giving me 10,000 reasons why I am ruining my life by having a donut. My goals are for weight loss and general overall Improvement compared to what I was eating/doing previously not to have an ideal low BMI and perfect diet.

    See this is so strange to me. I have been on MFP for almost 5 years and always had an open diary, but not once got a message giving me unsolicited advice on any random thing. This really happens?

    Just what I was about to ask. Mine has been open to the public for almost a year now, and I've never had a PM about what I'm logging, and there are definitely days where someone reading it might go :grimace:
  • cronus70
    cronus70 Posts: 191 Member
    I buy bags and bags of kale.......the rabbits love the stuff
  • Wolfena
    Wolfena Posts: 1,570 Member
    Ruatine wrote: »
    Chef_Barbell wrote: »
    Wolfena wrote: »
    My food diary probably looks a lot like yours.... but I have it set to private now because I got tired of the private messages from those people that you refer to who ate things like bowls of kale with no dressing for dinner telling me all the things I was doing wrong.

    Trust me I know that Donuts are not the best thing in the world for me but I still eat them sometimes I don't need a stranger from online giving me 10,000 reasons why I am ruining my life by having a donut. My goals are for weight loss and general overall Improvement compared to what I was eating/doing previously not to have an ideal low BMI and perfect diet.

    See this is so strange to me. I have been on MFP for almost 5 years and always had an open diary, but not once got a message giving me unsolicited advice on any random thing. This really happens?

    Just what I was about to ask. Mine has been open to the public for almost a year now, and I've never had a PM about what I'm logging, and there are definitely days where someone reading it might go :grimace:

    Yes.... it happened numerous times.

    I also used to have a public profile instead of just viewable to friends so pretty much anybody could look at it
  • SueSueDio
    SueSueDio Posts: 4,796 Member
    I sorta know what you mean, OP - I look at some of the threads on here, or at people's diaries, and think "but how can you live without bacon or chocolate?!" ;) But, like others have said, everyone has their own idea of what works for them and for some folks it's organic salad and green smoothies. For others, it's pizza and beer as long as it fits within their calorie allowance!

    Personally, thinking about what I "should" be eating and what sort of exercise I "should" be doing is what kept me fat for many more years than I needed to be. It was such a revelation to discover that I can still have all the things I enjoy, I just need to have smaller amounts of them! My diary is open to my friends, so feel free to send me a request if you'd like and you'll see it includes plenty of supermarket processed products, burgers, pizza, fries, alcohol, chips, ice cream etc. It also includes a salad for lunch most days, with TWO full tablespoons of dressing - who has 1/2 teaspoon? It's not worth it! ;)

    I try to snack less, and choose lower calorie options when I do, but I'm not giving up the stuff I love for the rest of my life. I want to lose weight in a way that doesn't involve me depriving myself and then going nuts once I "finish the diet" and piling the pounds back on. I needed to learn that life is going to include my husband saying "let's get take out" or "fancy a donut?" at inopportune moments when I haven't accounted for that many calories in my day... and that I can deal with it, choose to go over my calorie allowance if I want to, and know that it won't derail my efforts if it doesn't happen all the time. It's working, and I'm generally full and happy with the way I eat! :)
  • geneticsteacher
    geneticsteacher Posts: 623 Member
    But kale tastes so good cooked southern style - cooked until soft, with bacon grease added!

    I don't get the kale salad thing. To me, raw kale tastes like cardboard and is a gas explosion in the making.

    Op, eat what YOU like.
  • Ruatine
    Ruatine Posts: 3,424 Member
    Wolfena wrote: »
    Ruatine wrote: »
    Chef_Barbell wrote: »
    Wolfena wrote: »
    My food diary probably looks a lot like yours.... but I have it set to private now because I got tired of the private messages from those people that you refer to who ate things like bowls of kale with no dressing for dinner telling me all the things I was doing wrong.

    Trust me I know that Donuts are not the best thing in the world for me but I still eat them sometimes I don't need a stranger from online giving me 10,000 reasons why I am ruining my life by having a donut. My goals are for weight loss and general overall Improvement compared to what I was eating/doing previously not to have an ideal low BMI and perfect diet.

    See this is so strange to me. I have been on MFP for almost 5 years and always had an open diary, but not once got a message giving me unsolicited advice on any random thing. This really happens?

    Just what I was about to ask. Mine has been open to the public for almost a year now, and I've never had a PM about what I'm logging, and there are definitely days where someone reading it might go :grimace:

    Yes.... it happened numerous times.

    I also used to have a public profile instead of just viewable to friends so pretty much anybody could look at it

    Man, people can be such zealots when it comes to food. I guess I've been lucky - my diary and profile are open to all. ...I ain't afraid. :runs away:
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