ideal v realistic eaters / feel worse about myself

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  • onefortyone
    onefortyone Posts: 531 Member
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    I am mostly watching portion sizes, adding veggies to my dinner, and counting calories, rather than striving for some 'ideal'.

    So you'll see my diary full of pizza, pasta, tacos, lunchmeat sandwiches, and probably too much creamer in my coffee. I'm combining it with being more active and adding more veggies. It works for my current goals! So don't beat yourself up and hold yourself to someone else's standard!
  • beliaamerica
    beliaamerica Posts: 40 Member
    edited July 2016
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    Trish1c wrote: »
    I've been looking at other people's food diaries for inspiration & practically feel food shamed.

    Everybody seems to be eating organic this, wheat grass that, 1/2 tsp of dressing on a bowl of kale salad,.

    I'm never gonna eat that. Ever, no matter what.

    My diary contains food I bought at my local grocery store. It includes the bad stuff. Yes, I ate chips yesterday. I had several drinks at a party over the holiday weekend & pigged out at another BBQ.

    I had a smoothie for breakfast today but many of you would probably tell me I had 2 based on the portion size. Fine. It's still better then the can of regular Pepsi & a donut I had for breakfast every day for the past 20 years. My plan for lunch today is a Greek yogurt & a granola bar; again a major positive change from the pizza & McDonald's I've regularly eaten. For dinner I'm planning grilled chicken breast, an ear of corn (yes, with butter) and maybe a baked potato, again with butter & a sprinkle of salt & pepper. That has always been a pretty typical dinner; I'm just paying attention to the size of the chicken & how much butter I use, plus drinking water not wine.

    I think I'm improving but parts of this site make me feel WORSE about myself because I'm not eating perfectly.

    How do I find diaries & people I can relate to more?

    I dont eat so clean compared to other ppl on here so you can look through my dairy. I have stuff like tacos dorados,tostadas, mole,chorizo. Im Mexican so its hard to be without tortillas. I try to eat the heavy stuff early and I know how you feel I hate veggies and fruits but I know if I want to see results I need to add them in my diet. I've been trying to avoid fast food also because that was my usual diet I'm not used to eating at home but I'm trying to work on it.
  • Ruatine
    Ruatine Posts: 3,424 Member
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    Trish1c wrote: »
    I've been looking at other people's food diaries for inspiration & practically feel food shamed.

    Everybody seems to be eating organic this, wheat grass that, 1/2 tsp of dressing on a bowl of kale salad,.

    I'm never gonna eat that. Ever, no matter what.

    My diary contains food I bought at my local grocery store. It includes the bad stuff. Yes, I ate chips yesterday. I had several drinks at a party over the holiday weekend & pigged out at another BBQ.

    I had a smoothie for breakfast today but many of you would probably tell me I had 2 based on the portion size. Fine. It's still better then the can of regular Pepsi & a donut I had for breakfast every day for the past 20 years. My plan for lunch today is a Greek yogurt & a granola bar; again a major positive change from the pizza & McDonald's I've regularly eaten. For dinner I'm planning grilled chicken breast, an ear of corn (yes, with butter) and maybe a baked potato, again with butter & a sprinkle of salt & pepper. That has always been a pretty typical dinner; I'm just paying attention to the size of the chicken & how much butter I use, plus drinking water not wine.

    I think I'm improving but parts of this site make me feel WORSE about myself because I'm not eating perfectly.

    How do I find diaries & people I can relate to more?

    Feel free to take a look at mine; it's open to the public. I try to adhere to the 80/20 rule of eating mostly nutrient-dense foods while still allowing for less nutrient-dense items that I just like to eat. I occasionally eat chips, depending on my meal plan. I also occasionally eat ice cream, cookies, cake, etc. For me, it's all about balance. Find your balance, and you'll be happy - it doesn't matter what other people do. You do you. :flowerforyou:
  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
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    When I try to eat "perfectly," I just get into a spiral of failure and self-recrimination. It got much easier once I let go of that expectation. In the past week I've had potato chips, cocktails, french fries, pizza, wine, non-natural peanut butter, and white bread. I've also had snap peas, beets, kale, kidney beans, nectarines, oat milk, bell pepper, and Ezekiel bread. They're just foods -- my body can use all of them for energy and I enjoyed all of them. Sometimes I will look at someone's diary to get food ideas, but comparing yourself to others (IMO) will just lead to unhappiness.

    Do you like what you're eating? Does it fit in your goals? Does it help you feel good? These are the important questions.
  • rph2t
    rph2t Posts: 34 Member
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    I eat a lot of different things. I love food, all kinds. My diary is open to friends, feel free to friend me. Some days I eat "healthy" and some days I don't, and I'm just as likely to finish with a deficit either way. I do go over sometimes, but I'm in this for the long haul, and an off day is bound to happen. I always try to eat slightly more of a deficit the day after (not as a punishment, but to create some balance), and I don't let it happen more than once a week. It's all about CICO for me. That's what keeps me losing. I'm sure as I continue, I might have to get stricter about things to see results, but for now, I am losing weight and not having to fight too hard to do it.
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
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    Unless they're throwing their eating habits in your face (in which case THEY would be rude and out-of-line), what other people are eating could not possibly be less of your business. You do you...eat what you like and figure out what works for you. It's a little hypocritical of you to say that you feel "food shamed" by what other people are eating, and then start a post criticizing people who choose to eat differently. I go through phases when all I want to eat is kale salad, because I love kale. I wouldn't eat it if I didn't. I also love broccoli, coffee, dark chocolate and very dark stouts, because I happen to like bitter things.

    You'll probably have an easier time achieving your goals, and you'll enjoy the ride a lot more, if you learn to do whatever works for you and ignore what doesn't.
  • meritage4
    meritage4 Posts: 1,441 Member
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    Remember it's only the very brave and righteous eaters who have open diaries.
  • Ruatine
    Ruatine Posts: 3,424 Member
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    meritage4 wrote: »
    Remember it's only the very brave and righteous eaters who have open diaries.

    Haha, I certainly don't qualify as righteous, so I guess that makes me very brave. :tongue:
  • kluvit
    kluvit Posts: 435 Member
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    My recommendation is to eat within your calorie allowance those foods that satisfy you rather than "diet" foods approved by "them." You're welcome to add me as a friend, so you can see my diary -- my weight loss months in early 2012 still included small portions of ice cream after dinner, fried chicken leg with single portion of mashed potatoes, and the occasional french fry (McDonald's small burger and small fry is only 500 calories), taco bell nachos supreme at 450 calories, and so on. Eating real foods that I enjoy is what has allowed me to continue for 4 years. Best wishes on eating what makes YOU successful. It's not a "who can eat the least enjoyable foods" competition. :)
  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,644 Member
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    Wolfena wrote: »
    My food diary probably looks a lot like yours.... but I have it set to private now because I got tired of the private messages from those people that you refer to who ate things like bowls of kale with no dressing for dinner telling me all the things I was doing wrong.

    Trust me I know that Donuts are not the best thing in the world for me but I still eat them sometimes I don't need a stranger from online giving me 10,000 reasons why I am ruining my life by having a donut. My goals are for weight loss and general overall Improvement compared to what I was eating/doing previously not to have an ideal low BMI and perfect diet.

    See this is so strange to me. I have been on MFP for almost 5 years and always had an open diary, but not once got a message giving me unsolicited advice on any random thing. This really happens?
  • Ruatine
    Ruatine Posts: 3,424 Member
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    Chef_Barbell wrote: »
    Wolfena wrote: »
    My food diary probably looks a lot like yours.... but I have it set to private now because I got tired of the private messages from those people that you refer to who ate things like bowls of kale with no dressing for dinner telling me all the things I was doing wrong.

    Trust me I know that Donuts are not the best thing in the world for me but I still eat them sometimes I don't need a stranger from online giving me 10,000 reasons why I am ruining my life by having a donut. My goals are for weight loss and general overall Improvement compared to what I was eating/doing previously not to have an ideal low BMI and perfect diet.

    See this is so strange to me. I have been on MFP for almost 5 years and always had an open diary, but not once got a message giving me unsolicited advice on any random thing. This really happens?

    Just what I was about to ask. Mine has been open to the public for almost a year now, and I've never had a PM about what I'm logging, and there are definitely days where someone reading it might go :grimace:
  • cronus70
    cronus70 Posts: 191 Member
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    I buy bags and bags of kale.......the rabbits love the stuff
  • Wolfena
    Wolfena Posts: 1,570 Member
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    Ruatine wrote: »
    Chef_Barbell wrote: »
    Wolfena wrote: »
    My food diary probably looks a lot like yours.... but I have it set to private now because I got tired of the private messages from those people that you refer to who ate things like bowls of kale with no dressing for dinner telling me all the things I was doing wrong.

    Trust me I know that Donuts are not the best thing in the world for me but I still eat them sometimes I don't need a stranger from online giving me 10,000 reasons why I am ruining my life by having a donut. My goals are for weight loss and general overall Improvement compared to what I was eating/doing previously not to have an ideal low BMI and perfect diet.

    See this is so strange to me. I have been on MFP for almost 5 years and always had an open diary, but not once got a message giving me unsolicited advice on any random thing. This really happens?

    Just what I was about to ask. Mine has been open to the public for almost a year now, and I've never had a PM about what I'm logging, and there are definitely days where someone reading it might go :grimace:

    Yes.... it happened numerous times.

    I also used to have a public profile instead of just viewable to friends so pretty much anybody could look at it
  • SueSueDio
    SueSueDio Posts: 4,796 Member
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    I sorta know what you mean, OP - I look at some of the threads on here, or at people's diaries, and think "but how can you live without bacon or chocolate?!" ;) But, like others have said, everyone has their own idea of what works for them and for some folks it's organic salad and green smoothies. For others, it's pizza and beer as long as it fits within their calorie allowance!

    Personally, thinking about what I "should" be eating and what sort of exercise I "should" be doing is what kept me fat for many more years than I needed to be. It was such a revelation to discover that I can still have all the things I enjoy, I just need to have smaller amounts of them! My diary is open to my friends, so feel free to send me a request if you'd like and you'll see it includes plenty of supermarket processed products, burgers, pizza, fries, alcohol, chips, ice cream etc. It also includes a salad for lunch most days, with TWO full tablespoons of dressing - who has 1/2 teaspoon? It's not worth it! ;)

    I try to snack less, and choose lower calorie options when I do, but I'm not giving up the stuff I love for the rest of my life. I want to lose weight in a way that doesn't involve me depriving myself and then going nuts once I "finish the diet" and piling the pounds back on. I needed to learn that life is going to include my husband saying "let's get take out" or "fancy a donut?" at inopportune moments when I haven't accounted for that many calories in my day... and that I can deal with it, choose to go over my calorie allowance if I want to, and know that it won't derail my efforts if it doesn't happen all the time. It's working, and I'm generally full and happy with the way I eat! :)
  • geneticsteacher
    geneticsteacher Posts: 623 Member
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    But kale tastes so good cooked southern style - cooked until soft, with bacon grease added!

    I don't get the kale salad thing. To me, raw kale tastes like cardboard and is a gas explosion in the making.

    Op, eat what YOU like.
  • Ruatine
    Ruatine Posts: 3,424 Member
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    Wolfena wrote: »
    Ruatine wrote: »
    Chef_Barbell wrote: »
    Wolfena wrote: »
    My food diary probably looks a lot like yours.... but I have it set to private now because I got tired of the private messages from those people that you refer to who ate things like bowls of kale with no dressing for dinner telling me all the things I was doing wrong.

    Trust me I know that Donuts are not the best thing in the world for me but I still eat them sometimes I don't need a stranger from online giving me 10,000 reasons why I am ruining my life by having a donut. My goals are for weight loss and general overall Improvement compared to what I was eating/doing previously not to have an ideal low BMI and perfect diet.

    See this is so strange to me. I have been on MFP for almost 5 years and always had an open diary, but not once got a message giving me unsolicited advice on any random thing. This really happens?

    Just what I was about to ask. Mine has been open to the public for almost a year now, and I've never had a PM about what I'm logging, and there are definitely days where someone reading it might go :grimace:

    Yes.... it happened numerous times.

    I also used to have a public profile instead of just viewable to friends so pretty much anybody could look at it

    Man, people can be such zealots when it comes to food. I guess I've been lucky - my diary and profile are open to all. ...I ain't afraid. :runs away:

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