calling all parents, share your funny kid stories with me!

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  • kooshky
    kooshky Posts: 77 Member
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    My oldest nephew used to think my sister ate his younger brother and later "pooped him out" :D

    My 2 year old chases our cat around the house saying "meow! meow!" o:)
  • tmi_gang
    tmi_gang Posts: 781 Member
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    Well this is a story of my 5 year old cousin..
    It's kind of awkward to tell but here goes.

    My cousin was playing some rap station on Pandora and my 5 YEAR OLD LITTLE COUSIN runs up to the wall, proceeds to put his feet up on the wall.. and bounce his butt.

    I guess he learned from the best.
  • RainaProske
    RainaProske Posts: 636 Member
    edited July 2016
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    My daughter at her first Independence Day celebration: "Why do they put those pretty things up in the sky then break them all to pieces?"

    The same year, we were visiting a tiny zoo in northern Minnesota. She was standing at the wolf display, and she suddenly started crying loudly. We ran to her, asking what was wrong. She cried, "Are those the wolves that ate my grandma?"
  • lenoresdream
    lenoresdream Posts: 522 Member
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    RainaProske wrote: »
    My daughter at her first Independence Day celebration: "Why do they put those pretty things up in the sky then break them all to pieces?"

    oh god that almost made me cry how fricking precious is that?!
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    My kids filled in those pages for Mother and Father's day where they are supposed to talk about us.

    My daughter wrote a couple gems...

    My mom always say - no
    She is SO good at - dishes

    And for my husband

    My dad looks like - a pig


    Gotta love kids (she's 8).
  • JessicaJS23
    JessicaJS23 Posts: 1,863 Member
    edited July 2016
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    oe1ejgshxi7r.jpeg
    I should start posting the texts my daughter exchanges with me. It's a mess :neutral:
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,857 Member
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    JessicaJS23 wrote: »
    oe1ejgshxi7r.jpeg
    I should start posting the texts my daughter exchanges with me. It's a mess :neutral:

    Please tell me that's all in good fun. . And really, you shouldn't be playing games on your phone during bonding time. .
  • JessicaJS23
    JessicaJS23 Posts: 1,863 Member
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    Cameron_1969 wrote: »
    JessicaJS23 wrote: »
    oe1ejgshxi7r.jpeg
    I should start posting the texts my daughter exchanges with me. It's a mess :neutral:

    Please tell me that's all in good fun. . And really, you shouldn't be playing games on your phone during bonding time. .

    I was seeing what the movie we were about to be watching was rated. It's in good fun... But she's like that 24/7.

  • lenoresdream
    lenoresdream Posts: 522 Member
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    Jruzer wrote: »
    This happened a few years ago. To set the stage, we have four boys, who at this time were ages 14, 12, 6, and 4.

    My wife had to run out briefly for an errand - no more than 15 minutes. She had been reluctant to leave them alone, even though the 14-year-old was probably old enough the watch them all. But she didn't have anyone else to watch them and didn't want to drag them all out of the house, so she left the eldest in charge.

    As soon as she left they decided to make some cookies using frozen dough - mom will never find out! They knew they didn't have time to do it in the oven, so they popped some dough in the microwave and set it - for 10 minutes. And just as you would expect, it burned to a crisp, filling the house with smoke and setting off the smoke detectors.

    Now panicking, they opened up the house to clear the smoke. That didn't quite do the trick, so they also starting spraying Axe body spray everywhere to hide the smell. In the chaos the dog managed to get out, and went and hid in the neighbors' garage.

    When Mrs Jruzer returned home a few minutes later, she found the house filled with smoke and Axe, the smoke detectors wailing, and the microwave full of crispy burned cookies. She had to go retrieve the dog from the neighbors' house.

    This would have put her in full mom fury except for what the six-year-old did. He wasn't sure what else to do, but since he had been learning to write he decided to compose a note to his mother to ask for her help. She found the note, written in the middle of the chaos, which said in blocky, charming 6-year-old handwriting:
    Mommy
    Please help us
    We're in a big mess

    What could she do but laugh? Although it was a few years before she left them all home alone again.

    OMG this has to be my fav so far! especially the note from your 6 year old lol. oh man i hope you were able to aerate that house and i would run away with the dog if i were there, that's one smart dog lol!

    this is the best thread ever, thanks everyone! it's been a rough week and your posts are making it all better!
  • carefreekitties
    carefreekitties Posts: 7 Member
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    When my daughter was about 3 or so, we were in line at a fast food restaurant. She was not patiently waiting, as most three year olds are fairly energetic, lol. After a few times of me asking her to kindly not swing/pull/jump/talk too loudly, I got my mom-voice on and asked her if she needed to go to the car. She turned to me quite sternly and belted out the phrase " No, Mom! I don't know how to drive!!!"

    Nearly every one around us starts to giggle. It was very hard to keep a straight face :)
  • healthier_shana
    healthier_shana Posts: 16 Member
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    My two year old son has taken to chasing our maltipoo around the house yelling "here you go! here you go! here you go!" and shoving an empty dog food bowl at her lol. My poor dog.
  • happydance1978
    happydance1978 Posts: 1,489 Member
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    Getting ready for church my 4 yr old decides she wants to be Merida ( from Bravel) she puts on her blue gown and I ask are you bringing the arrows she reply Mom... you don't bring arrows to church! Lol so cute! Meanwhile this is the kid who runs around naked at every chance...oh man never a dull moment at our place!
  • RainaProske
    RainaProske Posts: 636 Member
    edited July 2016
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    We were young. Very young and inexperienced. We had a favorite classy restaurant in downtown Minneapolis we would go to when feeling extravagant, but we hadn't been there since our first baby was born. We decided it was time.

    They had a hard time finding a highchair for our baby girl. We should have gotten the hint! But they brought one, and brought her some packages of saltines, and we all enjoyed our meals.

    Were we ever embarrassed when we got up to leave and found a perfect circle of cracker crumbs on the deep red carpet around the high chair. We didn't go back for a long, long time.
  • SunnyDayzMomma
    SunnyDayzMomma Posts: 114 Member
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    I find pieces of paper all the time, with weird and random things written on them. My 7 year old waking daughter has a very active imagination (I think it's normal, but other parents marvel at her storytelling). The most recent one was a large sheet of paper, I found it on my son's shelf, I think the babysitter found it in his room from my daughter and just put it there. In big letters in the middle she wrote "You're banana fired". And below it in smaller letters she wrote "I'm coming for you". I asked her what it meant and she goes "you know, you're fired from bananas. You're not allowed to eat bananas anymore" so funny, but what's with the I'm coming for you? She goes "I dunno, I guess if you're banana fired you've done something pretty bad. And they'll GET you." hahaha I roared. I didn't ask who "they" are, lol.
  • xEmmaReynoldsx
    xEmmaReynoldsx Posts: 12 Member
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    We told our little boy he was going to be a pageboy at our wedding and Wear a suit, his response was 'does that mean everyone can draw on me' hahaha I thought it was so funny :-P

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