Why Can't I get this right?!?!

MrsOle_1101
MrsOle_1101 Posts: 27 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I am severely struggling to get my 'head' in the right spot. What do other people do to get in a good mind set for losing weight by working out and eating healthy?

Replies

  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
    Picked the right weight loss goal, nothing too crazy, and walked or hiked for exercise. Easy peasy
  • GirlonBliss
    GirlonBliss Posts: 38 Member
    edited July 2016
    Most people I chat with have some sort of underlying fear about changing their bodies - you might not think you do, but there could be something and it's worth thinking about. Here's some examples:

    -If I lose weight and look attractive, will people still want to get to know the real me?
    -If I lose weight and look attractive, does that mean I am a b****? (Because for some reason, there is a stereotype that people who take care of themselves are vain)
    -If I lose weight and look attractive, what if I start getting asked out more? How will I handle awkward pick-up lines?
    -Healthy food tastes gross. I'll have to give up all the foods I like for the rest of my life.

    If you think about it, taking a simple walk or eating a different food isn't that tough in concept - there is usually something underlying that might make you feel like things are a bigger obstacle.

    What do you suppose that could be?
  • NaturalNancy
    NaturalNancy Posts: 1,093 Member
    Take it a day at a time and plan what I will eat... Makes it more enjoyable and I stay on track bettter
  • Bearbo27
    Bearbo27 Posts: 339 Member
    What is your plan? Were you planning on cutting out all of your favorite foods, that might be causing you to dread the process. I have lost a decent amount of weight in the past while still eating my favorites as long as they are within my calories for the day. The issue for me is continuing the lower portions (I didn't and gained it back).
    Anyways... My mind has not been into exercise lately m, but seeing my husband getting on the treadmill helps motivate me. I look at it like "If he can do it, I can too". Do you have some support people that can help you stay on track. For me, once I get into the routine of this, it becomes normal and I do well.
  • MrsOle_1101
    MrsOle_1101 Posts: 27 Member
    First off thank you for all of your tips and support. My biggest problem is I don't make time for myself. I tend to put my 4 yo son and/or husband before myself. It seems daunting at the end of a long busy day and honestly I roll out my endless list of excuses. Meal planning and working out for myself seems so difficult right now and I can't seem to get in a routine.

    I may try working out in the morning like suggested. Just do and don't allow your head to get in the way. I love that attitude and I just hope I can do that.

    My plan is just taking it day by day and to watch my calories in vs calories out. But obviously that hasn't really worked for me and need to figure out another approach.

    Thanks again for all of your support! <3 mfp
  • MrsOle_1101
    MrsOle_1101 Posts: 27 Member
    GirlonBliss wrote: »
    Most people I chat with have some sort of underlying fear about changing their bodies - you might not think you do, but there could be something and it's worth thinking about. Here's some examples:

    -If I lose weight and look attractive, will people still want to get to know the real me?
    -If I lose weight and look attractive, does that mean I am a b****? (Because for some reason, there is a stereotype that people who take care of themselves are vain)
    -If I lose weight and look attractive, what if I start getting asked out more? How will I handle awkward pick-up lines?
    -Healthy food tastes gross. I'll have to give up all the foods I like for the rest of my life.

    If you think about it, taking a simple walk or eating a different food isn't that tough in concept - there is usually something underlying that might make you feel like things are a bigger obstacle.

    What do you suppose that could be?

    I honestly don't know if I have an underlying excuse. I may have to search deeper to see if there is something that's holding me back. Thank you for this thought.
  • salpowell6
    salpowell6 Posts: 9 Member
    Honestly I consider myself to have an addiction to food. I go through withdrawals, I have horrible cravings, and at my worst I've snuck food to eat by myself or found reasons to leave the house just so I can binge. Now, this might not be your problem, but when I first started, any kind of change felt crippling. I started SO slow. Like, hour by hour. Sometimes minute by minute. I would count the times I decided not to binge as a success. Hell, I counted the times I didn't binge as MUCH as a success. Sometimes you need to give yourself credit for the smallest successes and as you continue to do that you'll find your ability to do well increases along with your motivation. I have 2 kids so I completely get how difficult to prioritize your health over these very needy and adorable little ones we love so much. And then once they go to bed, it's like we still don't get to put ourselves first. But as a mom you have to remember that your health needs to be number one. It's so important! Keep doing your best and count every tiny success!
  • MrsOle_1101
    MrsOle_1101 Posts: 27 Member
    salpowell6 wrote: »
    Honestly I consider myself to have an addiction to food. I go through withdrawals, I have horrible cravings, and at my worst I've snuck food to eat by myself or found reasons to leave the house just so I can binge. Now, this might not be your problem, but when I first started, any kind of change felt crippling. I started SO slow. Like, hour by hour. Sometimes minute by minute. I would count the times I decided not to binge as a success. Hell, I counted the times I didn't binge as MUCH as a success. Sometimes you need to give yourself credit for the smallest successes and as you continue to do that you'll find your ability to do well increases along with your motivation. I have 2 kids so I completely get how difficult to prioritize your health over these very needy and adorable little ones we love so much. And then once they go to bed, it's like we still don't get to put ourselves first. But as a mom you have to remember that your health needs to be number one. It's so important! Keep doing your best and count every tiny success!

    You seriously nailed it actually. I'm totally addicted to food and struggle with binging. I throw in the towel by the time dinner comes almost daily. Thanks for understanding. It's so nice to hear someone with the same back story. I will certainly try to do my best. Thanks!!
  • salpowell6
    salpowell6 Posts: 9 Member
    Sure! And don't beat yourself up about the set backs! As humans we love to define ourselves by our failures when we should be defining ourselves by our successes!
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    Working out is the hard part for me. It is much more my normal to not put forth an effort to work out. I lose weight by staying in a calorie deficit. I'm pretty sure that I eat less than a healthy smaller person does, so some day I'll be a healthy smaller person eating more than I do now.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Took me 10 years and it took huge binges around the Holidays to get in the right mind, personally (I basically just disgusted myself). That, and my doctor scared me and I was just really starting to feel like crap anyway.
  • cerise_noir
    cerise_noir Posts: 5,468 Member
    creativeworks2designs wrote: »
    My plan is just taking it day by day and to watch my calories in vs calories out. But obviously that hasn't really worked for me and need to figure out another approach.

    Thanks again for all of your support! <3 mfp
    When it boils down to it, CICO is the only way to lose, though. There are many ways to approach that, though.. Some like low carb, some just eat less of the food that they eat now. Just eat less calories than you burn throughout the entire day. Do you use a food scale to measure your CI, and do you only eat back a portion of your CO? How do you figure out your CO?
  • NpulseCharm
    NpulseCharm Posts: 7 Member
    I feel like I can't get this right also because I am power walking, cutting calories, and losing inches but my weight remains the same.
  • therese100SF
    therese100SF Posts: 13 Member
    Getting serious & started is tough,
    Sticking with it & being Patient is difficult,
    Finding what works for YOU & changing it up occassionally is necessary,
    Believing you CAN is not optional, but pertinent!

    Maybe you are an "all or nothing" goal achiever--so once you COMMIT TO YOURSELF to set changes in motion to bring about the desired changes you desire for your health, you will be unstoppable!

    JUST decide on your plan for week 1, start moving, logging & eating sensibly...focus on One snack, One meal at a time & GET started! YOU can put yourself first, IF You prioritize YOU...no one else can do that EXCEPT you!

    Best wishes sent your way! Let the clouds clear & excuses go--and JUST GO FOR IT!
  • MrsOle_1101
    MrsOle_1101 Posts: 27 Member
    Again thanks for all the tips and support. I am very much an all or nothing kind of gal and my husband is the opposite and wants me to do in baby steps and I feel like I cave to bad indulges too often. My son does do yoga and kickboxing with me so that's fun but with all of the extra activities he's doing, work, and everything going else it's tough to make the time. I just need to act and not think about it or give opportunity of excuses.

    @ cerise_noir: feeling kind of dumb but I don't know what all your abbreviations mean. Still learning. I do not have a scale I just use my hand/fist and measuring cups as portion control.
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
    edited July 2016
    creativeworks2designs wrote: »
    Again thanks for all the tips and support. I am very much an all or nothing kind of gal and my husband is the opposite and wants me to do in baby steps and I feel like I cave to bad indulges too often. My son does do yoga and kickboxing with me so that's fun but with all of the extra activities he's doing, work, and everything going else it's tough to make the time. I just need to act and not think about it or give opportunity of excuses.

    @ cerise_noir: feeling kind of dumb but I don't know what all your abbreviations mean. Still learning. I do not have a scale I just use my hand/fist and measuring cups as portion control.

    CICO= Calories In/ Calories Out

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1069278/acronyms-and-terms-for-new-mfp-members-v-6/p1
  • rosebarnalice
    rosebarnalice Posts: 3,488 Member
    One of the hardest things for me to come to terms with was/ is that this will ALWAYS be a conscious choice on my part.

    It will never "come naturally" to me, and I will never "think like a skinny person"-- and I think in my previous attempts at weight loss and weight control, I think I thought there would be this magic moment when, after I did it long enough that I wouldn't have to work at it any more. But that's simply not true.

    I still have to CHOOSE every day and at every meal to eat well and moderate portions, and to log everything to keep myself honest because it still isn't my nature.

    I know SO many more strategies to deal with my emotions and my impulses than I used to; and I also know how long it takes me to lose 5 or 10 or 20 or 50 lbs, and how quickly I can gain it back. I know what it feels like to be more or less comfortable in my body and at what weight that happens, and I know that I don't feel as comfortable in my body at much above that weight. So I have lots of history and experience being fat and unhappy with myself; I also have lots of history and experience making mental lists of dos and don'ts, stern talking-tos in my bathroom mirror after a particularly bad food day, and the joys of being a pound down and the disappointments of being a pound up.

    But still, I have had to reconcile that my nature is to eat everything in sight, to love the experience of taste--just about ANY taste-- and to face all of the emotions of human experience (happiness, sadness, joy, sorrow, loneliness, boredom. . . you name it) with food. There's never any "enough", and there's always room for more. That's just who I am. And sometimes that really sucks for me.

    BUT it HAS gotten easier to make good choices.
  • mayburcm1
    mayburcm1 Posts: 14 Member
    I find that its not necessarily getting my head in the right spot. I found at first the motivation isn't really there, just going through the motions, doing what I logically know I have to do. But then small success is rewarding and then that becomes motivating. While you may not feel like your head is in the right spot, you are going through the motions already of wanting to make a change (being here). Maybe figure out what your motivations are, and evaluate how much you want the change. I know it sounds corny but I always go back to the whole "SMART" goal concept. Make a goal that is specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. Maybe even make some larger goals, and some smaller goals. While I want to lose like 40lbs, my first goal was to lose 5lbs by July 14th (which I set about a month ago now). The goal was very specific, a healthy attainable amount, realistic with the proper tools, and had a time limit set on it. As I'm writing this, I realize it's time to set a new goal for myself. A goal for weight loss doesn't necessarily have to be weight, it could even be "I'm going to log everything I consume for a week."
  • STEVE142142
    STEVE142142 Posts: 867 Member
    The mechanics of losing weight are very simple and not hard at all. It's just a matter of eating less calories than your body consumes.

    You don't have to eat healthy it's just a matter of eating less calories than your body consumes. I still enjoy the occasional Wendy's hamburger slice or two of pizza or beer on the beach. it's just the matter of eating less calories than your body consumes. Same thing with exercise. To lose weight weight you don't have to exercise. The exercise has other benefits such as mental physical and emotional.

    Here's the tough part the mental aspect. I firmly believe that for this to succeed you have to find the Y. That why has to be totally selfish it can't be for for your significant other it can't be for your kids it has to be totally About You. By it being totally about you all those other whys will take care of themselves. What you have to realize is that I'm worth it and I can do it. Once you find out why the process becomes a piece of cake.
  • MrsOle_1101
    MrsOle_1101 Posts: 27 Member
    I do have my 'why' and it is in fact for me and not for anyone else. Thanks for your post.

    Today was a great day bc I signed up with a nutritional coach and will also be getting my RMR and AMR tested. To top it all off I joined TEAM Weightloss and start tomorrow! I have found my motivation from just talking to people on mfp.. everyone has offered so much advise and support. Thank you!!!

Categories