What are single people supposed to do other than eat?
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TavistockToad wrote: »GobletofFlames wrote: »Thisnameischosen_ wrote: »Wow. Seriously hun. You need to be working on yourself before you bring another person into your life. From what I've read, you have some issues going on and I would use this time with you being single to fix whatever needs fixing before you start a new relationship.
what issues specifically, can you be specific so I know what to work on? thanks
Everything you're saying in your other thread....
You mean the fact that other women are arrogant and that men are judgmental?0 -
GobletofFlames wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »GobletofFlames wrote: »Thisnameischosen_ wrote: »Wow. Seriously hun. You need to be working on yourself before you bring another person into your life. From what I've read, you have some issues going on and I would use this time with you being single to fix whatever needs fixing before you start a new relationship.
what issues specifically, can you be specific so I know what to work on? thanks
Everything you're saying in your other thread....
You mean the fact that other women are arrogant and that men are judgmental?
No, that that is your PERCEPTION of what's happening...1 -
I've been single for the majority of my life. Been on dates, clubs, bars, special events, but never have I really enjoyed going to them. I have a great career, I'm college educated, financially stable, and as a matter of fact, I recently closed on a new home. I never thought I would even buy a home unless I got married.
For the longest time I really thought the reason why I was unsuccessful in establishing a relationship was because I was Asian. Living in a place where there were no other other Asian people didn't help either. So it made me feel unattractive and resulted in low self esteem and confidence. This mentality reflected on my personality, which was the problem to my unattractiveness. The point is, I've learned to accept who I am. I've learned to accept the things that I am in no control over and improve on what I can control. I want to pursue what is ultimately my true happiness, food and fitness. I think if you just focus on improving yourself, everything else will get easier.
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What about online dating crystal?0
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If you are meeting someone, asking them a bunch of questions, and then asking them out in 5 minutes or less, then you may be coming off as being desperate and/or too pushy. That can be a big turn off and explain why you are being rejected by these guys.
It would also be a good idea to adjust your expectations of what goes on in a relationship. It sounds like you have been watching too many romantic comedies and expect life to be the same way.1 -
Isn't the point when you're single and looking, to go out looking? That should burn some calories.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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If they aren't, it's not something they aren't doing. It's something that you're doing to likely cause it.GobletofFlames wrote: »I don't understand why men refuse to go on a date with me. Here's the thing. Usually when I meet men at social events or cashiers and random guys like that, I talk to them for only 5 minutes. I tell them my name and hobbies and ask their name and hobbies and then ask if they would like to go on a date sometime and they say no. How can they judge me before t hey even know me? If they went on a date with me and found out I was horrible and rude, OK fine. But they do not even know me. Are you really seriously telling me that they know all about me and what my personality is like within a 5 minutes conversation? It's not even 5 minutes honestly, it does not take that long to say our names and hobbies and what we do for a living. So how can they judge me within 5 minutes? Also I walk past men every single day, I am outside every day for 4-5 hours but no men approach me asking me on a date, why are they judging me when they don't even know me. I guess they don't like how I look?
Just a guess because I haven't had conversation with you in person, but it's gotta be a hint to you that something you're doing is turning them off and you just gotta figure out what it is.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition 0 -
Get a life !1
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Online dating.
Have a friend set you up.
Have a co-worker set you up.
Get involved in activities where you will share a common interest.
Volunteer.
Don't seem desperate, work on being happy by yourself and you will attract someone to you.
Therapy might help, you don't seem to have a realistic image of relationships.
Lower your standards/give different kinds of men a chance.
Hitler and bin Laden were very powerful and brought that to a relationship. If that is not what you are bringing, you cannot compare with them.0 -
Roller skating, swimming, make healthy snacks for work, have a game night, go to the gym, take a class like zumba0
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GobletofFlames wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »GobletofFlames wrote: »I don't understand why men refuse to go on a date with me. Here's the thing. Usually when I meet men at social events or cashiers and random guys like that, I talk to them for only 5 minutes. I tell them my name and hobbies and ask their name and hobbies and then ask if they would like to go on a date sometime and they say no. How can they judge me before t hey even know me? If they went on a date with me and found out I was horrible and rude, OK fine. But they do not even know me. Are you really seriously telling me that they know all about me and what my personality is like within a 5 minutes conversation? It's not even 5 minutes honestly, it does not take that long to say our names and hobbies and what we do for a living. So how can they judge me within 5 minutes? Also I walk past men every single day, I am outside every day for 4-5 hours but no men approach me asking me on a date, why are they judging me when they don't even know me. I guess they don't like how I look?
Why do you feel the need to ask every man out after 5 minutes?
I don't ask EVERY man out, I haven't asked my father out because I'm not into incest plus I walk past men every day without asking them out. But I ask SOME men out and they say no because they judge me! I am having a very bad day today because I'm ANGRY that I can't have coffee with a man, IT IS NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe you have halitosis?
I mean, could be all that coffee drinking.....something must be turning them away.
Seriously though, being single isn't the worst thing in the world. Being with someone else is not going to fill the void. You will not instantly be happy because you can update a relationship status on Facebook.0 -
My fiancé of 8 years broke up with me last week and this is my first time being single as an adult (we got together when I was 16).
I legit have no idea what to do with myself. Who am I going to watch game of thrones with now? Luckily I have a 5 yo son to keep me busy! But I definitely need suggestions for what to do when he's at his dad's house.0 -
GobletofFlames wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »GobletofFlames wrote: »I don't understand why men refuse to go on a date with me. Here's the thing. Usually when I meet men at social events or cashiers and random guys like that, I talk to them for only 5 minutes. I tell them my name and hobbies and ask their name and hobbies and then ask if they would like to go on a date sometime and they say no. How can they judge me before t hey even know me? If they went on a date with me and found out I was horrible and rude, OK fine. But they do not even know me. Are you really seriously telling me that they know all about me and what my personality is like within a 5 minutes conversation? It's not even 5 minutes honestly, it does not take that long to say our names and hobbies and what we do for a living. So how can they judge me within 5 minutes? Also I walk past men every single day, I am outside every day for 4-5 hours but no men approach me asking me on a date, why are they judging me when they don't even know me. I guess they don't like how I look?
Why do you feel the need to ask every man out after 5 minutes?
I don't ask EVERY man out, I haven't asked my father out because I'm not into incest plus I walk past men every day without asking them out. But I ask SOME men out and they say no because they judge me! I am having a very bad day today because I'm ANGRY that I can't have coffee with a man, IT IS NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe you have halitosis?
I mean, could be all that coffee drinking.....something must be turning them away.
Seriously though, being single isn't the worst thing in the world. Being with someone else is not going to fill the void. You will not instantly be happy because you can update a relationship status on Facebook.
she is sprinkling the truth potatoes today0 -
GobletofFlames wrote: »Redwineandmuscles wrote: »I had better have a chat with my husband, we haven't done most of those things in years.
Well you chose to get married so stop bitching about it
I can't imagine why you're single. Between comments like this and some from last night...0 -
GobletofFlames wrote: »Thisnameischosen_ wrote: »Wow. Seriously hun. You need to be working on yourself before you bring another person into your life. From what I've read, you have some issues going on and I would use this time with you being single to fix whatever needs fixing before you start a new relationship.
what issues specifically, can you be specific so I know what to work on? thanks
1) anger management
2) viewing yourself as a victim
3) viewing everyone else as if they are out to get you or prevent you from being happy
4) this obsessive need to be with someone
5) learning to be happy with yourself
Those would be a good start.2 -
Today I am going to try to survive the day and be content with my life. After all I still have decades to live so I might as well try to be happy although I'm not allowed to have a partner and kids.0
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You mentioned elsewhere that you'd parents are Buddhist. Have you look at the Buddhist explanation for suffering? That desire for what we don't have is one of the roots of suffering? Acceptance of impermanence is one way to get past this. Maybe look at it. Just a though.GobletofFlames wrote: »Today I am going to try to survive the day and be content with my life. After all I still have decades to live so I might as well try to be happy although I'm not allowed to have a partner and kids.
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GobletofFlames wrote: »I get the whole thing about creating a caloric deficit
But if you are single what are you supposed to do other than eat, go to work, and sleep?
People in relationships can:
have coffee with their husband
talk to their husband about their day
hold their husband's hand
have sex with their husband
go on a hike with their husband
Whereas single people have a lot of time on their hands which is why they eat and get fat
You remind me of my narcissistic ex lol.0 -
I once met a guy who was single. I met him at a chess club. He played chess every Tuesday night.
I once met a girl who was single. I met her at a (different) chess club. She played chess every Thursday night. One day in the course of playing chess the girl and the guy met each other and decided to make beautiful checkmates together.
Get an interest. Meet someone. Be nice. Don't expect much.1 -
My wife and kids have been out of town for the last week. During that time, I've gotten in all my workouts, ate according to plan, summitted a mountain, walked to an awesome breakfast place, walked to the farmer's market, caught a few Pokemon, taken the train to a station further from home a couple of times for the extra walk, caught up on some TV/housework, took a couple of naps, went to the pool, attended a couple of social gatherings. Tomorrow, I intend to get in a serious strength training. walk back to that awesome breakfast spot, see a movie...and Sunday, I'm at least checking out a new nearby trail and cooking lunches for next week.
And I have a list of things I want to do but haven't gotten to yet.
TL;DR - I don't understand.0 -
GobletofFlames wrote: »I get the whole thing about creating a caloric deficit
But if you are single what are you supposed to do other than eat, go to work, and sleep?
People in relationships can:
have coffee with their husband
talk to their husband about their day
hold their husband's hand
have sex with their husband
go on a hike with their husband
Whereas single people have a lot of time on their hands which is why they eat and get fat
You can have coffee with friends!
Talk to your friends/family/internet friends about your day
read a book or watch tv
have sex with yourself (lol)
go on a hike with friends/family or go to the gym alone!0 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »Effing really?
The possibilities are endless when you're single...all of your time is actually your time to do what you will...you get married and have a family and suddenly time becomes a real issue because priorities have to focus on more than just you...you're single, you're all you have to worry about or be concerned with...
When I was single I:
Had coffee with friends...or not...sometimes I just enjoy a cup of coffee on the patio and taking in a beautiful morning.
I went hiking...a lot...sometimes with friends, sometimes on my own...a hike in the woods on your own is a beautiful thing...I still do it.
I road my bike a lot
I hit the gym
I played frisbee golf and ultimate frisbee with my buddies
I played video games for hours on end
I spent a lot of time reading without being interrupted
I could go on and on and on....
Please, give me a break! It's so much easier to do what you want to do when you want to do it when you don't have other considerations like a wife and family...it's great and all, but your time ceases to be your time...it's everyone's time.
I agree with this post. It is much easier to diet/eat healthy/ and workout when you are single. Unless the spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend was also dieting which I doubt happens that often.0 -
I agree with this post. It is much easier to diet/eat healthy/ and workout when you are single. Unless the spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend was also dieting which I doubt happens that often.
Exactly. I made it clear when I started dating my now ex bf that fitness was important to me. He liked being big and eventually thought I wanted him to change. Now that that nonsense is done, I can lift and not have anyone whine about it.
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LMAO. Okay. Thanks for the laugh. 0
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I have been single/widdowed for the past 17 years. My life is very busy.
I have a great job. When I am not at work I:
Ride my horse
Hang out at the barn talking to fellow horse owners all day
Practice Aikido at the dojo (3 nights a week)
Go on trips to aikido seminars a few weekends a year
Visit the zoo, botanical garden, and museums around my area. I have a membership to the botanical garden and visit often.
Go to a movie or have a movie night at home with a friend.
Go for a walk in the park.
Read
Enjoy the peace and quiet of my home.
Paint, draw
Care for my orchids and container garden
Go for a long drive in my Subaru and discover new places.
I really enjoy being single and have no interest in changing that.
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What CAN'T you do while you're single? Is this even a real question lol? omg there's an entire world out there1
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OP, you don't ask people out after 5 minutes. Maybe in exceptional circumstances, but I have always hated being hit on by strangers in the street. Why would you go on a date with someone you know nothing about? They could be a serial killer. Or a Trump supporter.
Anyway, I agree you should try online dating. Talk to many men and work out who you like/don't like and then wait and see if they want to meet you. You seem to think that approaching anyone with a penis will get you a relationship. It won't. Be more selective and less self-pitying2
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