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we broke up :(
acasey0123
Posts: 640 Member
So I just broke up with my boyfriend of 7 months today and he was my first boyfriend...he basically taught me how to love. I didnt see it coming, I guess his feelings for me changed and he wasnt into me anymore. I cant eat and I feel numb and I cant exercise because of shoulder muscle spasms. I just needed to vent because most of my "real life" friends dont know.
where do I go from here? how do I get over this?
where do I go from here? how do I get over this?
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Replies
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*hugs*
I'm sorry. I know how much that hurts. You hurt because you care, and that's a good thing. Times really does heal all wounds. Give yourself time and take care of yourself.
Take a few days or however long you need to feel like crap, then make the decision to be happy again. You were happy before him, you will be happy after him. It's all part of the life experience, and the pain you're feeling now will make you stronger.
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Honey, this just happened to me a few months ago and I'm still a little heart-achey from it. You just have to take it one day at a time. Someday things will get better. Just keep your chin up and pursue everything else that you love, and most of all, love yourself!:flowerforyou:0
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Get down to your goal weight and show him what he's missing0
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So sorry to hear about this! The first one is always hard. Think of this way: do you really want to be with someone who doesn't feel the same way about you, as you do about him?
This is a great time to work on you. I suggest a nice hot bubble bath, then some tea and comfy PJs with a warm blanket and some Sexy and the City.
Take it one day at a time and work on yourself. It gets so much better
*hugs*!!0 -
So I just broke up with my boyfriend of 7 months today and he was my first boyfriend...he basically taught me how to love. I didnt see it coming, I guess his feelings for me changed and he wasnt into me anymore. I cant eat and I feel numb and I cant exercise because of shoulder muscle spasms. I just needed to vent because most of my "real life" friends dont know.
where do I go from here? how do I get over this?
You will have so many people that will come into your life and teach you about love. Some will be romantic partners, while others will be friends and surrogate 'family'. While he may have been the first, he definitely won't be the last. The important thing is that you are able to love!
Take a few days to feel sad over the loss. I call it my cry time. Then, when those few days are over, get back on track. There are workouts you can do that won't stress your shoulder. Get back on a decent eating regimen. Watch what you eat because some foods will contribute to depression. Hang out with some friends. Ben and Jerry don't count as friends to hang out with! Neither does Jack, Wendy or any fast food royalty!
And give it time. Time really does heal all wounds. 0 -
Awe sweetie. I am so sorry you are feeling this pain. I know from experience that it hurts but I also know it is all about growing and experiencing life. That means the good and bad things. Right now, I am sure you feel rejected and alone but you are not alone. He was NOT the man for you if he chose to move on.
Take a day or two to come to grips with the fact that it was him and not you. Know that you love yourself and are working toward a better healthier lifestyle. Then jump back in and move along that path.
When the right person for you happens, you will look back and thank goodness that you split. Otherwise you would have never found your soul mate!
Hugs sweetie.0 -
All I can say is hang in there. It does get better eventually but it's hard for a while. I have found that doing some deep breathing/positive affirmations/meditations sort of helps - I have to do that everytime I feel some of the nasty thoughts creeping in. I literally have to push them out. I try to breath out as hard as I can while telling myself I'm pushing out the negative thoughts then breath in as deeply as I can while telling myself I'm breathing in happiness, contentment, strenght, etc.. Do it for a few minutes everytime you find yourself starting to think about it. Hugs to you.0
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where do I go from here? how do I get over this?
Speaking from experience - at first, you will feel like you will NEVER get over it. It's going to feel like a deep, dark, bottomless pit. And it will scare you how bottomless the grief will feel.
BUT ... anyone who's ever been there and gotten through it can tell you, it's not ACTUALLY a bottomless pit. There is a bottom!!! And you will find it. And then you will come back up for air and find that you can live again. The best advice I have for you is to just let yourself be sad .... really, really sad .... for as long as you need to be sad. You won't be sad forever, I promise.
You can't turn to food, though. You will have to find another way to soothe yourself. Reading may help. Journaling might. Someday soon, maybe not today, but maybe in a few days, exercise might be really great for you. Put on some extremely melancholy workout music, and run yourself into oblivion. Blue October and The Fray come to mind. Snow Patrol also. Edited to add: Dido. Sarah McLaughlin (?). David Cook's version of Hello.
So what if you are the girl heaving with sobs as you run down the side of the road? It might just be the way you put your broken little soul back together. xoxo sweets. 0 -
hugs chick.
my advice would be to keep busy as when it happened to me i found myself being upset and doing nothing but one of my close friends took me under her wing and kept me busy with meals out, nights out anything that took my mind off him.
also try and do something that will vent ur anger such as boxing or running.
the best thing to do is tell ur closest friends and they will know what to do to help you xxxxxxxx
hope this helps :flowerforyou:0 -
Break-ups suck. I had something similar happen last year, and I was completely depressed listening to Bright Eyes and laying in bed. This was actually around the time I took up running, so it was eventually good motivation. It will get better over time despite how horrible it feels right now. Your first love is hardly ever your last.0
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Make the most of it..use it to your advantage..yes it hurts and hurts BAD..put it to good use. Do a work out to work out the anger, pain and depression. Many times I have had more then sweat running down my face during a workout. I'm still trying to heal, take one day at a time and if necessary break it down from there, a hour, minute. What ever it may take..Good luck and be strong. Some men are just not worth the pain. (see, I'm still trying to convince myself of that)0
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*hugs* It hurts sweetie. But the pain WILL go away. Dont go rushing out to fill the void. Focus on you...channel that energy into working out!!!!0
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thanks everyone this means alot...i cant wait until I'm "me" again0
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Just... a really, really big hug for you. I know that feeling. :flowerforyou:
When you are ready to get back up on your feet, we are all here for you! Remember you are amazing, and you WILL feel :blushing: again!0 -
Through any bad situation ( break ups, loss of a loved one, job problems, etc.) I've found that my motto becomes "Fake it till you make it" Get up out of bed and do the things you've always done. Make yourself exercise, got out with friends, clean the house, whatever. Eventually, you wake up one day and realize that it's a little bit easier. Then another day you wake up and realize that you don't have to make yourself any more, it's not a struggle, it's just life again. If you tell yourself that you'll get through it enough times, you eventually do:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0
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This time next year you are going to look so good he is going to be soooooo sorry. And you will have forgotten all about him.0
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Hugs.
Don't worry you will be fine. It happens to us all at one stage and it sucks but it will make you stronger.
Tell your family & friends and accept there support.
Go out have fun and make him regret it.
I broke up from a 8 year relationship 2 and half years ago(i was 16 when we met and was with him till i was 24,we lived together etc) I thought my world was going to end but it didnt it actually got better. I became me again instead of we. I met my now boyfriend who i would choose over my ex any day and we are going traveling in a few weeks. I would have missed out on the person i was meant to be with and some serious life experiences. So trust it is for a reason.
One day you will wake up and not think of him first.
Enjoy your life-you only get one.
XXX0 -
"Fake it till you make it"
thanks, SO true0 -
Get down to your goal weight and show him what he's missing
agree 0 -
Take a few days or however long you need to feel like crap, then make the decision to be happy again.
Someone told me once that all you need is ten minutes to shout, yell and cry, and you can get over most things within that timeframe if you really try hard. I found that this is one of the best pieces of advice I ever got. While the ten minutes is not always realistic. It's useful to give yourself X amount of time to wallow, and feel sad, before thinking "that's it I'm done with the feeling sad, now onto the next phase of my life".
Before when I had a romanatic disaster, I was sad for a bit then I thought "well two fingers to him and the horse he rode in on". I concentrated on myself for a bit, found all sorts of exciting new projects, went to the gym lots and made myself fabulous. The next time I saw him he couldn't have been more interested and was all over me!!!
xx0 -
Hey how you getting on?0
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yesterday i spent all day crying and feeling sorry for myself...and now its full steam ahead to a brand new me 0
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My ex is the reason why I'm where I am today....He was my best friend's brother and the perfect guy for me....For almost a year, we were inseperable....He went to some training for a month and when he came back, he broke up with me out of the blue...Come to find out, he found another girl while he was gone...6 months later, he's marrying her.
I used him breaking up with me for another girl to fuel my motivation. I had already started this weight loss journey, but losing him, my best friend and everything else I had known for so long forced me to change. So I did......
I'm not going to lie to you, it sucks...it's heartwrenching....I broke down and cried at least once a day for the longest time....most days, more.....but each time I stopped crying, I turned on 30DS or Tae Bo...and pretended I was kicking his *kitten*....it made me feel better for a while and eventually I have learned to deal with losing him. We live in the same small town, and occasionally we run into one another (not by choice) and I absolutely LOVE how each time we do, he does a double take checking me out.....That alone makes it worth it.
So cry, it makes it better....but always pick yourself up and move forward....After a while, each day will get easier....and continue your workouts as best as you can....cause you will find someone who loves you....and that's what matters!0 -
yesterday i spent all day crying and feeling sorry for myself...and now its full steam ahead to a brand new me
HELLS TO THE YEAH! 0 -
yesterday i spent all day crying and feeling sorry for myself...and now its full steam ahead to a brand new me
HELLS TO THE YEAH!
Ditto that!0
http://youtu.be/WLKk00OYKhU
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