I am the woman in the freeweights section of the gym

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  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    Hi all..... Dave bullied me in to coming back....I have gone from the random woman in the freeweights section to being a woman that the men compliment. Now, I go and do my workouts and I do badass squats, or badass deadlifts, and mediocre bench presses and at this point, I get compliments regularly. These compliments are not creepy, ask you on a date compliments, these are "Wow, I hardly ever see women working this hard" or "You can squat way more than I can (from men) or "You have the best form I've ever seen" ......I am not posting this to brag....I have recently hired a powerlifting coach who tore my squat and deadlift apart so I am not claiming excellence- but I missed you guys.

    I have a new perspective. In the past few years I have been in the position that I intimidate guys in the gym. It's not that I lift more, but I workout hard and go low. I have an equal mix of guys that leave when I show up and guys that come over and compliment me. I frequently go to the gym with a friend who wants to tone up.

    Here's the bottom line- in every gym everywhere, there are many people with many different goals. My goals are different than your goals. On every treadmill bank in every gym, there will be long distance 19 minute 5kers and 3:45 half marathoners. There are the people trying to tone up, and the heavy lifters.

    I am a heavy lifter. I pick *kitten* up and put it down. I wait an entire song on my playlist before I pick more *kitten* up and put it down. There are very few women that use this same philosophy. Is it right? Is it wrong? Should I be doing curls and abducters and captains raises?

    The answer is, there is no answer. Your workout programming depends on your goals.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    Front page says what?
  • Whitney_Pickle
    Whitney_Pickle Posts: 1 Member
    I love this post!
  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • juliewatkin
    juliewatkin Posts: 764 Member
    kindrabbit wrote: »
    I am not sure if this thread is totally spot on or seriously over thinking things.

    I'm not sure why it is so scary and intimidating. What's to be scared of? We are all people. To those people who are scared of the free weights section - what do you think will happen?

    I am a 42 year old woman have been in the free weights section of the gym for the past 2 years. I have never had a serious problem with anyone else in the gym, male or female. One guy once asked me if I was going to put any weight on my bar (I took it as him being critical of the amount I was lifting) but I just informed him that I was just warming up and proceeded to kick my workouts butt! the next time I saw him he made sure to give me a smile and comment on my strength so I think he learned the lesson that you should never comment on the amount another person is lifting.

    The majority of the time I arrive, do my workout and leave. I work on reception at the gym and a lot of staff use the facility so I kind of know quite a few faces. I have had comments on my form (all good so far) and we chat about programmes and what works for them. I also chat with the women, I'll compliment them on their workouts etc or ask them what they do to get their arms or legs looking so good. As with any social situation some people want to chat and be friendly and some want to get their heads down and be invisible.

    I don't think I get watched any more than anyone else. Maybe I'm too old and ugly! I feel part of the free weights family and that includes men and women.

    While you may not have been intimidated the first time you went into the free weights section, many are. I spent weeks talking myself into before I dared to do it about 9 years ago. I've been competing for 8 years now so clearly it's no longer a problem. To say it wasn't a bit scary at first would be disingenuous. Everyone looked like they knew what they were doing and I didn't. It didn't take long to figure out most don't know what they're doing :smile:

    fwiw, when someone asks you if you're planning to put some weight on the bar, it's a compliment. It means you look strong.
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    Hey Girl, I stand by everything I wrote. If y'all have issues, just holler and I'll train you.
  • emz_1993
    emz_1993 Posts: 96 Member
    Great advice. I'm always intimidated by that section..
  • wishiwasarunner
    wishiwasarunner Posts: 202 Member
    The rational part of my brain knew what you posted was correct even before I read it- but I eventually had to hire a trainer to go to that section of the gym. I felt as if that was my "pass card" I still work out with a trainer once a week in the weight section but have no issues going over there on my own now. I am sure it is almost as intimidating for men who were never athletic and are just starting out....in fact, it might be tougher for them.
  • rokitkafamily
    rokitkafamily Posts: 5 Member
    I love free weights NOW, but it took awhile for me to do it with out my husband near by, now I rock out no matter who's there :) Matter of fact, I feel extra great when I am doing the same or more weight than the men. But my goal is just to be the strongest I can be.
  • TMY1978
    TMY1978 Posts: 1 Member
    Thank you for this post!!

    Was about to admit defeat and go back to the 'girls' part of the gym.

    Not now - straight back to free weights tomorrow. I love free weights; why should I let anyone stop me.
    Thank you
  • hali1
    hali1 Posts: 54 Member
    Thank you! I've been debating joining the gym near my house specifically for strength training, but I am clueless and horrified of the free weight area. This is exactly the help I needed!
  • Breadbar
    Breadbar Posts: 333 Member
    I so enjoy free weights - it's the machines that scare me! I'm never sure how to use them correctly. It just never occurred to me to feel intimidated - I pay my membership like everyone else and am comfortable using any equipment I wish!
  • socalrunner59
    socalrunner59 Posts: 149 Member
    I disagree with #4 & 5.

    Women should not expected to put up with stares, comments, etc for using a facility in which they are a paid member. Men do not check their common courtesy and civility at the gym door and subsquently treat everyone in the gym "like one of the guys." I've raised two boys into men. My youngest at 24 is a powerlifter and coach. More than once my son has intervened when some guys started harassing women and smaller guys.

    I myself had some guy walk up to the rack I was using and take my bar. I let him go to another rack with it; let him setup his weights, then walked over and took all the plates off and tossed them on the floor. I them walked my bar back and set it up. Then I walked up to him and told him if he ever touched a bar I was using again, I was going to take that bar and beat him with it. Never saw him in the gym again.

    Another time some guy threw a petite Asian woman off a bench. I confirmed she was in fact still using the bench and weights. Guy had walked back to the squat rack to yammer with some guys. I screamed across the room for him to get his crap off her bench and if I ever saw him throw anyone off a bench again he and I were going to step outside and dance with my tire iron. I told him if I couldn't take him down, a phone call would bring my sons and enough men to take him down. The entire gym full of people watched as he slunk over and took his stuff off the bench. Never saw him again at the gym either.

    Some other guy kept hitting on me. I told him in no uncertain terms to leave me alone. I was civil, but direct as is my way. He went to the manager to complain about me. Manager said she knew me very well and if he ever bothered me or any other woman in the gym, she'd cancel his membership.

    I extend civility to all who cross my path. But I will not stand for mistreatment from anyone.





  • keegan2149
    keegan2149 Posts: 65 Member
    MoreBean13 wrote: »

    4. The men will look, and might even make comments. They're not necessarily creepers.
    Just accept it, you'll be a novelty and an anomaly. One of the things that happens in the weight room is everyone has downtime between sets, and people watch other people. Men watch other men, they watch women, women watch men- it just happens. It's one of the ways we learn while we're there. They're not necessarily judging you or undressing you, they're just killing time between sets and observing.

    Thanks for this! I can't count how many weird looks I've gotten from women who catch me looking at them. Most of the time I've exerted myself beyond my ability to think clearly and am looking for a distraction. Obviously, I don't stare if they're doing something provocative like dead-lifts. Either that or I'm learning something. Women pay much more attention to detail. A lot of times I'll catch a woman doing an exercise that I've forgotten about or just using better form than me. I think men concentrate on increasing weight. Most women who lift think about everything. Still I think a lot of women just assume that if you're watching them workout you're a creep. Even in a room full of mirrors!

    A close second is the look I get when I choose a treadmill directly behind an attractive woman. It's hard to find a treadmill that works and has a good angle on a TV with something interesting. If I find both I don't care who's in the row in front of me!
  • Kellikat80
    Kellikat80 Posts: 591 Member
    Great post! I am new to lifting and pretty intimidated. Thanks!
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
    socalrunner59 wrote: »
    I disagree with #4 & 5.

    Women should not expected to put up with stares, comments, etc for using a facility in which they are a paid member. Men do not check their common courtesy and civility at the gym door and subsquently treat everyone in the gym "like one of the guys." I've raised two boys into men. My youngest at 24 is a powerlifter and coach. More than once my son has intervened when some guys started harassing women and smaller guys.

    I myself had some guy walk up to the rack I was using and take my bar. I let him go to another rack with it; let him setup his weights, then walked over and took all the plates off and tossed them on the floor. I them walked my bar back and set it up. Then I walked up to him and told him if he ever touched a bar I was using again, I was going to take that bar and beat him with it. Never saw him in the gym again.

    Another time some guy threw a petite Asian woman off a bench. I confirmed she was in fact still using the bench and weights. Guy had walked back to the squat rack to yammer with some guys. I screamed across the room for him to get his crap off her bench and if I ever saw him throw anyone off a bench again he and I were going to step outside and dance with my tire iron. I told him if I couldn't take him down, a phone call would bring my sons and enough men to take him down. The entire gym full of people watched as he slunk over and took his stuff off the bench. Never saw him again at the gym either.

    Some other guy kept hitting on me. I told him in no uncertain terms to leave me alone. I was civil, but direct as is my way. He went to the manager to complain about me. Manager said she knew me very well and if he ever bothered me or any other woman in the gym, she'd cancel his membership.

    I extend civility to all who cross my path. But I will not stand for mistreatment from anyone.





    You must be a blast at parties.
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    keegan2149 wrote: »
    MoreBean13 wrote: »

    4. The men will look, and might even make comments. They're not necessarily creepers.
    Just accept it, you'll be a novelty and an anomaly. One of the things that happens in the weight room is everyone has downtime between sets, and people watch other people. Men watch other men, they watch women, women watch men- it just happens. It's one of the ways we learn while we're there. They're not necessarily judging you or undressing you, they're just killing time between sets and observing.

    Thanks for this! I can't count how many weird looks I've gotten from women who catch me looking at them. Most of the time I've exerted myself beyond my ability to think clearly and am looking for a distraction. Obviously, I don't stare if they're doing something provocative like dead-lifts. Either that or I'm learning something. Women pay much more attention to detail. A lot of times I'll catch a woman doing an exercise that I've forgotten about or just using better form than me. I think men concentrate on increasing weight. Most women who lift think about everything. Still I think a lot of women just assume that if you're watching them workout you're a creep. Even in a room full of mirrors!

    A close second is the look I get when I choose a treadmill directly behind an attractive woman. It's hard to find a treadmill that works and has a good angle on a TV with something interesting. If I find both I don't care who's in the row in front of me!

    TBH I'm generally completely oblivious to anybody around me when I'm mid set...it's only during rests or cardio that I notice other people

    I think you're right on the gender split on form though, I find myself deloading and working slow to correct minor perceived form issues or try something I've seen on video ...stupid thing is once I deload, eg yesterday I was working squats at 60kg just to get greater ROM, I get this mental diatribe going about how people are judging me as a "pink weight" type cos female ...so I need to work on that stupidity ...jeez the things our minds do to us
  • dutchandkiwi
    dutchandkiwi Posts: 1,389 Member
    edited July 2016
    I am in a ladies only gym, so it is easy there. I joined them for no other reason than that they are closest as men in the gym do not bother me.
    My dad (72), lives an hour and a half away, goes to a gym too. He was commenting how more and more women joining the men there in the free weight area. I told him I'd joining him there on his fitness round if I was visiting on one of his workout days. He beamed with delight and checking with his gym now if it is possible for me to accompany him as an extra once in a blue moon.
  • Turb2o
    Turb2o Posts: 82 Member
    First thing as a man whose being training for 20 plus I've noticed in the last two years more woman training in the strength room and same as the men some have good form some don't have a clue I help I'm asked but respect to the girls in gym and if a man looks your doing flip him off unless he's a powerlifter
  • keegan2149
    keegan2149 Posts: 65 Member
    Hauntinglyfit wrote: »
    socalrunner59 wrote: »
    I disagree with #4 & 5.

    Women should not expected to put up with stares, comments, etc for using a facility in which they are a paid member. Men do not check their common courtesy and civility at the gym door and subsquently treat everyone in the gym "like one of the guys." I've raised two boys into men. My youngest at 24 is a powerlifter and coach. More than once my son has intervened when some guys started harassing women and smaller guys.

    I myself had some guy walk up to the rack I was using and take my bar. I let him go to another rack with it; let him setup his weights, then walked over and took all the plates off and tossed them on the floor. I them walked my bar back and set it up. Then I walked up to him and told him if he ever touched a bar I was using again, I was going to take that bar and beat him with it. Never saw him in the gym again.

    Another time some guy threw a petite Asian woman off a bench. I confirmed she was in fact still using the bench and weights. Guy had walked back to the squat rack to yammer with some guys. I screamed across the room for him to get his crap off her bench and if I ever saw him throw anyone off a bench again he and I were going to step outside and dance with my tire iron. I told him if I couldn't take him down, a phone call would bring my sons and enough men to take him down. The entire gym full of people watched as he slunk over and took his stuff off the bench. Never saw him again at the gym either.

    Some other guy kept hitting on me. I told him in no uncertain terms to leave me alone. I was civil, but direct as is my way. He went to the manager to complain about me. Manager said she knew me very well and if he ever bothered me or any other woman in the gym, she'd cancel his membership.

    I extend civility to all who cross my path. But I will not stand for mistreatment from anyone.





    TIL "not standing for mistreatment" = threatening to beat people up with an iron bar

    Wow, I've been working out for years and I've never heard of anything like this happening even in high school. I agreed with what the OP said, but if I had witnessed any of this I definitely would have been on your side.
  • keegan2149
    keegan2149 Posts: 65 Member
    Sued0nim wrote: »
    keegan2149 wrote: »
    MoreBean13 wrote: »

    4. The men will look, and might even make comments. They're not necessarily creepers.
    Just accept it, you'll be a novelty and an anomaly. One of the things that happens in the weight room is everyone has downtime between sets, and people watch other people. Men watch other men, they watch women, women watch men- it just happens. It's one of the ways we learn while we're there. They're not necessarily judging you or undressing you, they're just killing time between sets and observing.

    Thanks for this! I can't count how many weird looks I've gotten from women who catch me looking at them. Most of the time I've exerted myself beyond my ability to think clearly and am looking for a distraction. Obviously, I don't stare if they're doing something provocative like dead-lifts. Either that or I'm learning something. Women pay much more attention to detail. A lot of times I'll catch a woman doing an exercise that I've forgotten about or just using better form than me. I think men concentrate on increasing weight. Most women who lift think about everything. Still I think a lot of women just assume that if you're watching them workout you're a creep. Even in a room full of mirrors!

    A close second is the look I get when I choose a treadmill directly behind an attractive woman. It's hard to find a treadmill that works and has a good angle on a TV with something interesting. If I find both I don't care who's in the row in front of me!

    TBH I'm generally completely oblivious to anybody around me when I'm mid set...it's only during rests or cardio that I notice other people

    I think you're right on the gender split on form though, I find myself deloading and working slow to correct minor perceived form issues or try something I've seen on video ...stupid thing is once I deload, eg yesterday I was working squats at 60kg just to get greater ROM, I get this mental diatribe going about how people are judging me as a "pink weight" type cos female ...so I need to work on that stupidity ...jeez the things our minds do to us


    There's nothing wrong with a little ego, just don't let it get in the way. I do body weight squats as part of my warmup so I can practice my form. I just try to think about the science behind fitness. Everything else is *kitten*. Information is the only true path to success. I used to focus on lifting as much weight as possible, but now I give more attention to form. I also am more likely to pay attention to opposing muscle groups. For example I can lift as much with my triceps as I can with my biceps and I won't go up in weight until both muscle groups have improved. I see a lot of guys with asymmetric muscle growth from focusing on the cooler muscles. It can also lead to pain and eventual injury when you can't create the same amount of effort for both parts of a given motion.
  • fitBoomer1952
    fitBoomer1952 Posts: 12 Member
    1978 NYC McBurney Y, I was the only woman in the weight room. You kids (joking) look great and I'm proud of you all. Doesn't it feel great!! Still lifting and feeling great. Keep up the great work. You rock! Oh, use a trainer for the first few times to be sure you are doing it right AND to make you feel like you own the room!
  • hazcad
    hazcad Posts: 41 Member
    What a brilliant post.

    Although I don't do free weights I am pretty much the only regular woman at my gym who does use the weights even if it is just the machines. I thoroughly enjoy it and at times I do get looks, being a woman we always assume to worst and think it's negative but I'm sure it's not always the case.
    For injury reasons I cannot do free weights just yet but I most likely will have that "fear" when I do start free weights even if they are in the same section it's that invisible Barrier you mention but us women our tough we will get through it if it's what we want.
  • Rururiri
    Rururiri Posts: 31 Member
    edited September 2016
    kindrabbit wrote: »
    I am not sure if this thread is totally spot on or seriously over thinking things.

    I'm not sure why it is so scary and intimidating. What's to be scared of? We are all people. To those people who are scared of the free weights section - what do you think will happen?

    I am a 42 year old woman have been in the free weights section of the gym for the past 2 years. I have never had a serious problem with anyone else in the gym, male or female. One guy once asked me if I was going to put any weight on my bar (I took it as him being critical of the amount I was lifting) but I just informed him that I was just warming up and proceeded to kick my workouts butt! the next time I saw him he made sure to give me a smile and comment on my strength so I think he learned the lesson that you should never comment on the amount another person is lifting.

    The majority of the time I arrive, do my workout and leave. I work on reception at the gym and a lot of staff use the facility so I kind of know quite a few faces. I have had comments on my form (all good so far) and we chat about programmes and what works for them. I also chat with the women, I'll compliment them on their workouts etc or ask them what they do to get their arms or legs looking so good. As with any social situation some people want to chat and be friendly and some want to get their heads down and be invisible.

    I don't think I get watched any more than anyone else. Maybe I'm too old and ugly! I feel part of the free weights family and that includes men and women.

    Well, you might not be scared or intimidated going into the free weights section but a lot of us women are. I am included in it. I was terrified because in my head. People will judge my wrong form and think "I don't know what the hell i'm doing. Anyway, it took me a lot of self talk and researching about programs. How to do the exercise properly before I can get into the free weights area. Yes, I was still scared. Highly self conscious about people that will criticize my form. Now, my initial fear is gone. 3 1/2 years had passed and my fears are definitely gone. I learned that as a regular. I don't pay attention to people. Usually, I focus on myself in the mirror see if I'm doing a proper form.
  • ttippie2000
    ttippie2000 Posts: 412 Member
    I mind my own business. I don't give advice. I don't care if you know what you're doing or not. I'm off duty. I'll never comment one way or another on your appearance because I simply don't care what you look like. If you come up and specifically ask for advice I will probably direct you to my wife, a 5 time world champion powerlifter, or her training partner, a 6 time world record holder because they're simply the most qualified people in the room. If you're a regular I might smile and ask how your kids are doing or some other harmless friendly chit chat. Other than that I'll ignore you.
  • RainyDayBrunette
    RainyDayBrunette Posts: 59 Member
    Z_I_L_L_A wrote: »
    Go to the power lifting section not the social club gym. Power lifters love to see a woman get strong. We treat em as part of the team. My female friend got up to a 155 bench. I was so proud of her. If she sandbags in the weight room I'll let her know it just like I would a man. It took her a year to get there but she has respect in any gym now. It's earned not given. Don't go to the gym with a victim mentality. If you have that before you ever enter a gym it's on you not the gym members. Luckily we don't have those type of men or women in our gym.

    This is so awesome. Thanks for sharing!!
  • ericwhitt
    ericwhitt Posts: 87 Member
    edited October 2016
    I gotta say this isn't even necessarily a woman thing. Even as a guy who has very little free weight experience, I feel the same way. My high school didn't allow free weights due to liability, and then I joined Planet Fitness who had so little Free weights that there was never any space. Now I joined the new Anytime Fitness that just opened about 3 miles from my house and it's not too crowded. So now I'm this person at the gym right now. I mostly stick to cardio and the machines, but I'm trying to mix in some free weights into my routine slowly so I learn proper form and not overdo it.

    Oh forgot one point, I often find myself staring off into space a lot while I recover between sets. I don't think I'm the only guy who does this, but I have definitely gotten some stares from girls thinking I was perving out. Just remember, just because someone's staring towards you doesn't necessarily mean they are staring at you. You might have walked into my field of view and I don't even know you are there. The worst thing is I find myself having to look away from where I was naturally just looking because a woman is now there and I don't want to feel like a creeper, where if it's a guy I don't bother.
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