Disappearing willpower?

cavaaller_85
cavaaller_85 Posts: 94 Member
edited December 2 in Food and Nutrition
I've been kicking butt for the last six months, and then this last two weeks, it's like I can't say no to anything! I'm working out a ton, but since I'm eating ALL THE FOOD I'm starting to gain again. I normally eat 125-130 g of protein each day, so I don't think I'm missing out there. I eat plenty of carbs and fats (especially lately!). Anyone else have disappearing willpower? What did you do to push through? PS: A big part of the problem is that I'm a teacher, and during the summer I lack routine PLUS I'm way more social. Also seeking tips on how to be social without being the weirdo who doesn't eat or drink anything.

Replies

  • Savyna
    Savyna Posts: 789 Member
    In terms of drinks, what I did the last time I was at a friends house (theyre the types that their culture is when you see friends you share drinks), I told them to pour me half of a beer and I drank that, that was just so I wasn't being rude. Otherwise I got away with just drinking water, no questions asked. Not sure what your type of drinking is, but instead of those margaritas or really sugary mixed drinks go for something that's just alcohol with ice/club soda. and nurse that one drink through the entire gathering. In terms of eating, if its small appetizers throughout, I would try to limit to a set number. Also it helps me if I actually eat before I go out that way I won't be hungry while there.
  • hokiemom14
    hokiemom14 Posts: 105 Member
    Whenever it comes to hanging out socially with my friends...they pretty much know I'm going to bring something healthy to eat so they do not think I'm weird and they actually like me bringing healthy options. I make sure it's something that I can snack on easily. I also like to eat before I go anywhere so I can eat what is good for me and not just what is in front of me. As far as drinks, I don't drink liquor so all the super high calorie drinks are not really an issue for me. I mostly stick with wine and I actually spritz that with flavored carbonated water. It makes for a really light drink and I can have several and it only equals 2 glasses of wine for an entire evening. I think sometimes you just go through a bad spurt of eating...keeping pushing through it and just take 1 meal at a time and make the best decisions you can :)
  • MelaniaTrump
    MelaniaTrump Posts: 2,694 Member
    edited July 2016
    Social part: Just say you are low carb. Easy excuse not to eat cakes, cookies, chips, pizza, etc.
    Drinks: Go for things like lite beer, or whiskey with diet coke.
  • Zipp237
    Zipp237 Posts: 255 Member
    Eat salads or other low-cal food when you go out. It's boring, but if you're eating out a lot, you have to be careful.

    Willpower is what it is. You want to diet or you don't.
  • tashandria
    tashandria Posts: 4 Member
    I am also in that position. My willpower to eat right is slowly fading.
  • SueSueDio
    SueSueDio Posts: 4,796 Member
    Good advice from the others on how to be social! :)

    For the motivation side of it, I decided to take two-week breaks regularly and eat at maintenance levels for that time. It seems to help me keep on track and motivated, because the longest I've needed to restrict my intake for is 12 weeks so far and if I start to get a bit lazy or unmotivated I know I have a break to look forward to! I've done this twice now, and I plan to carry on doing it throughout my journey.

    I really feel that taking those breaks helps me to get back to losing with renewed determination and willpower, so maybe a similar routine would help you too?
  • CattOfTheGarage
    CattOfTheGarage Posts: 2,745 Member
    Yeah - it might just be temptation, or your body may be telling you something. You could raise your calorie allowance for a little while and just go with the flow. Reassess after a week or two.

    I've increasingly come to the view that willpower is a very limited resource and you have to pick your battles. If you were new at this I would say persevere, you're just learning, but you were having success and now you're struggling with willpower - trying to fight it head on may not be the best strategy.

    It's important not to get into a cycle of beating yourself up, as that will become self fulfilling and could derail you badly. Whatever your decide to do, relax and realise it's all part of the journey and a learning process.

    Whatever you do, keep logging it!
  • Expatmommy79
    Expatmommy79 Posts: 940 Member
    I'm with you.

    I did awesome for 6 months. Went on holiday. Ate at "maintenance" for 10 days and came home 3 pounds heavier.

    I lost my willpower for food but kept up the exercise. Still eating below maintenance, but not the deficit I should.

    I am taking the summer off. I'm still pushing the workouts and lifting heavy. But I'm taking a diet break. 2 months. Still tracking and trying to stay on track calorie wise, but eating lots of stuff I probably shouldn't. But I need this time out.

    Will get back to plan in September.
  • CattOfTheGarage
    CattOfTheGarage Posts: 2,745 Member
    edited July 2016
    On your question of how to be social, in social drinking settings all you need is a drink in your hand, it doesn't matter what it is. I drink soda water with a dash of lime, you can get that in any bar and I actually like it (I've always liked lime cordial). If you're not a fan you could get a different dash, like blackcurrant or orange. Or orange juice and soda, cranberry and soda - those are a little more calorific, but they usually go half and half with the soda, so not massively so.

    I mean, no need to be a monk, have a drink, but you don't need to get more alcohol or sugar with every single round. You can intersperse favourite drinks with something like that that is very low calorie but more interesting than plain water.

    I hear you on the routine thing, I'm a lecturer. it makes it harder. I'm about to go away for 3 weeks and I have already raised my calorie allowance. I will be aiming to maintain and restart weight loss after I come back.
  • Firefly0606
    Firefly0606 Posts: 366 Member
    'Willpower' is part of the psychological component of weight loss, it's got nothing to do with your ability to limit your food, but a lot to do with your desire to limit your food.

    What you've done and the results you have seen over the last 6 months is proof, if you're looking for any evidence.

    I agree with others saying that eating at maintenance is a good idea. Being deliberate about eating at maintenance will definitely change your focus from "I'm eating everything in sight, I'm gaining, this is getting out of control and I don't understand why I just couldn't care less" to "I'm not dieting down at the moment, it's ok to eat more, my weight is just going to pause in a 5lb buffer zone for a little while, I'm in control of this and know exactly what I'm doing".

    Sometimes it's our brains that need a little rest and reset.
  • cavaaller_85
    cavaaller_85 Posts: 94 Member
    Great advice, guys. Thank you for the feedback! I think I will just eat at maintenance for another couple weeks and keep up the working out, then get back to it again when school starts. This was really helpful!
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    Maybe it's time for a break. When you are "on a diet" but keep overeating, you are hitting maintenance (or more) calories but mentally it feels more like a struggle than if you are seeing a larger allowance in front of you. Take a break from the mental work for a couple of weeks, eating at maintenance. A bigger allowance makes you feel like you are eating more but you may actually find yourself eating less.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    It is a fact, proven, that "Willpower" is a diminishing resource. You can use it for a while, but you will lose it. After you lose it, you will regain the ability to use it again. C'est la vie.
  • 85Cardinals
    85Cardinals Posts: 733 Member
    edited July 2016
    I wonder if there even is such a thing as willpower. I believe in want power, where you want something bad enough to do whatever it takes to get it.
  • CaffeinatedConfectionist
    CaffeinatedConfectionist Posts: 1,046 Member
    cavaaller_85 wrote: »
    Great advice, guys. Thank you for the feedback! I think I will just eat at maintenance for another couple weeks and keep up the working out, then get back to it again when school starts. This was really helpful!

    I think this is a great plan! I often find myself having to take maintenance breaks, and it helps with the mental component a lot. Motivation for me, and I think for most people, comes in waves. Right now I am hella motivated and I will stick to my calorie limit without a problem and I will lift and kick all the things, but I just got over a slump period where I was a lazy bish. I eventually had to rein it in and when I did, my motivation came back. I try to make exercise and appropriate eating habits a necessity, part of life, like going to work or maintenance on my car, rather than something I have to be motivated to do. But that doesn't always work. I also sometimes take a day off work or procrastinate changing my oil. I think it's just part of being human.
  • SueSueDio
    SueSueDio Posts: 4,796 Member
    Firefly0606 wrote: »
    'Willpower' is part of the psychological component of weight loss, it's got nothing to do with your ability to limit your food, but a lot to do with your desire to limit your food.
    [...]
    Sometimes it's our brains that need a little rest and reset.

    Yep, this. Sometimes you just get tired of the restriction, even if it is something you think you can handle and you feel you're eating a decent amount. I've been finding that although I'm getting good results and I'm generally motivated to continue, after about 8-10 weeks I start to get a bit sloppier with my logging, don't weigh as accurately, maybe sneak bites of things that I don't log at all, that kind of thing.

    That's when, like @amusedmonkey said, taking a mental break is a good thing. If I were constantly going over my calorie limit I'd feel bad about it - I don't mind now and again, but if it was all the time then I'd start beating myself up over it. So to avoid that I can take a break, relax, and eat more for a while. Last time, I didn't even eat my whole allowance on several days because I didn't want more! Then, after a couple of weeks, I feel ready to get back at it. :)
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    edited July 2016
    You could change your settings to maintenance calories, if you hit it it's ok, if you stay under all good. I've hit diet fatigue too, so i set my calories for maintenance at sedentary (i'm lightly active/active), so those extra calories are there if i need them, and i wont have to see those stupid red numbers as i would if i went over my dieting calories.
  • fitgoals23
    fitgoals23 Posts: 43 Member
    Disappearing willpower is the exact problem that I have been going through the last few weeks, but now I am determined to get back on track. For me, concrete goals is what got my willpower back up. Set a date to reach a specific (and realistic) goal and work hard to reach it. Or set a daily goal of steps or minutes of activity or something.

    As far as keeping on track in social situations, it is something you can accomplish. If you are going out to restaurants, suggest ones where you know there are healthy options. Or if someone else has chosen the place, know what kinds of food you should order to keep on track (think lean protein and lots of veggies, avoid fried/sugary food, ask for fat-free dressing, choose a lettuce wrap instead of a bun). You can also supply food/snacks at gatherings that you know are good for you. Offer to bring a fruit salad, nut mix, etc.

    But you don't have to make a big deal about it or stress if you end up eating something different. Enjoy the time with your friends. One thing I do when I plan on going out with friends is to be super responsible earlier that day. Drink lots and lots of water, eat low-calorie meals with lots of veggies and protein, and exercise. Then if you splurge a little later, it's not so bad.

  • sunnybeaches105
    sunnybeaches105 Posts: 2,831 Member
    You know what you need to do. Shrug off the excuses and the mistakes. We all make them. Now, get back to work.
  • dutchandkiwi
    dutchandkiwi Posts: 1,389 Member
    I think it is not the willpower that is the issue. It may well be the lack of routine. If it is the holiday find a different routine and work with that.
  • Rocknut53
    Rocknut53 Posts: 1,794 Member
    sunnybeaches105 wrote: »
    You know what you need to do. Shrug off the excuses and the mistakes. We all make them. Now, get back to work.

    Thank you for this. I like a good swift kick in the a** now and then. Everyone else has good advice, but you nailed it, at least for me.
  • mom22dogs
    mom22dogs Posts: 470 Member
    I've been having this issue for about the last month to 6 weeks. I had a couple of weeks where I had other things I needed to do (dr. appointments, dog issues, sick - everything hit that 2 weeks) and I've had a really hard time getting back to the gym. I've been making myself go at least once a week, but I've gotten burnt out I think. About that time, I also bought a digital scale and did that for a day or so, and that seemed to have a detrimental effect actually. It was frustrating and I felt like it wasn't something I would keep doing for the rest of my life, so for some reason I kind of quit tracking as much.

    I am going for my 1 year evaluation on Thursday, so hopefully I will get a totally new workout and I can get back into it.
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