Hitting rock bottom

MysticalT
MysticalT Posts: 267 Member
edited July 2016 in Motivation and Support
I weighed myself this morning with a view of starting again. I hate the way I look, clothes look awful, I look awful.
I feel bad for feeling awful because there are so many people out there that are bigger than me and struggling.
I feel bad because I haven't done anything about it and I know it's all self pity because it's all my fault for being greedy.
I feel bad because I've started this so many times and been successful in the past but food always wins.
I feel bad because I've reached a size 14 for the first time in 7 years.

I don't want to get dressed, I don't want to move, I don't want to go out. I don't want to do anything.

I am so unfit I can only manage 3 minutes on the elliptical cycle. 30 day shred is a 5 minute shred. 60 minute Zumba is a 15 minute Zumba.

My daytime eating is fine, my dinner is far too large a portion and finished off with ice cream or crisps or chocolate or anything even though I'm stuffed. It's my relax time and that means eat. I don't have time to sit and eat properly during the day, my meals are OK but eating within 5 minutes, grab a sandwich, grab some fruit, grab a cereal bar. I'm always within calories until dinner. That's my fault too.

I look old, I feel old and I have no energy or will power to do anything.

I look in the mirror and feel angry and upset with myself because this isn't who I want to be.

I want to be me, I need to be me....I will be me.

Replies

  • Vicxie86
    Vicxie86 Posts: 181 Member
    Well, you have taken the right step in accepting that this is all on you & no one else. You clearly see where you're going wrong and you need to accept this stage of your life. It is fine that you can only do 3mins on the elliptical today because tomorrow, you will push yourself to do 4mins and then the day after 5mins until you get to 30mins a day. You don't have to worry about doing it all at once. Take baby steps, even if its just cutting 250kcal from your daily intake. Do this at a pace that will work for YOU.
  • Wiccanandi
    Wiccanandi Posts: 32 Member
    I know exactly how you feel, I don't get time/have the motivation to exercise and i hate the way i look. add me if you want
  • logsdonjacqueline
    logsdonjacqueline Posts: 10 Member
    Please don't feel bad. You're in the right place! I've been using this app for a week now and I've seen nothing but people motivating each other and being supportive of one another. Complete strangers! It's so great to see and to know that this is a thing that actually exists in the world today. If you need a buddy to lean on, you can lean on me! I understand what you're going through on so many levels, it wasn't long ago that I was feeling the same way; *kitten*, pathetic and feeling sorry for myself. I've found this app to be a great way to be honest with myself and also meet other people that share a common goal: being healthy and making healthier choices. The complete turn around in my mood and energy along with the supportive community this app offers has completely sold me on this lifestyle change. You can do it, trust me. And on the days you think you can't, reach out to someone. Take a deep breath and remember tomorrow's a new day!
  • Whitezombiegirl
    Whitezombiegirl Posts: 1,042 Member
    MysticalT wrote: »
    I weighed myself this morning with a view of starting again. I hate the way I look, clothes look awful, I look awful.
    I feel bad for feeling awful because there are so many people out there that are bigger than me and struggling.
    I feel bad because I haven't done anything about it and I know it's all self pity because it's all my fault for being greedy.
    I feel bad because I've started this so many times and been successful in the past but food always wins.
    I feel bad because I've reached a size 14 for the first time in 7 years.

    I don't want to get dressed, I don't want to move, I don't want to go out. I don't want to do anything.

    I am so unfit I can only manage 3 minutes on the elliptical cycle. 30 day shred is a 5 minute shred. 60 minute Zumba is a 15 minute Zumba.

    My daytime eating is fine, my dinner is far too large a portion and finished off with ice cream or crisps or chocolate or anything even though I'm stuffed. It's my relax time and that means eat. I don't have time to sit and eat properly during the day, my meals are OK but eating within 5 minutes, grab a sandwich, grab some fruit, grab a cereal bar. I'm always within calories until dinner. That's my fault too.

    I look old, I feel old and I have no energy or will power to do anything.

    I look in the mirror and feel angry and upset with myself because this isn't who I want to be.

    I want to be me, I need to be me....I will be me.

    Been there, done that! You are not alone. I vividly remember holding my stomach in the mirror and feeling like crying. These motivational quotes really helped me:

    'Its hard to change, its hard to stay the same- pick your hard'
    'A year from now you will have wished you had started today'.

    I realised at the weekend that Ive slipped into binging at the weekends - for a similar reason to you. My job is stressful and I've been 'celebrating' not being in work/ relaxing with food. This weekend I made a conscious effort to acknowledge that not being in work was relaxation enough- I didn't need treats to remind myself. It worked -no binging!

    I'm still struggling with exercise though- i go for long walks, especially now the summer is here but I need to suck it up and lift the weights/ body weight.

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