Obese children -- a question for them what have kids

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I'm trying to head obesity off at the pass with my kids too. Both are thin now, but we have steered them toward fruit and veg since they were babies, and we have enrolled them in various activities (7yo in TKD, 4yo in soccer clinic and gymnastics) to give them regularly scheduled physical activity. But with their dad and me being predisposed toward obesity, I keep a close eye on them - I don't know when their metabolisms will change, so I'm just trying to teach them how to be healthy now. Hopefully I will drop this weight and get healthy too and provide them with a better example.

This is an interesting topic. As a working mom of two, I think it's hard for moms or dads now to prepare a healthful meal every night, so we do the best we can with what we have.

I have two girls, so I am very conscious of how I present food to them. I don't want them to feel like anything is off-limits, because that's the way I felt as a kid (because of lack of money) and when I was older and had money I went crazy with food (and still do). I also don't want to ever focus on their sizes, so compliment them on their pretty smiles, nice singing, etc.

Do I notice their weight? Yes. And for me it's a struggle, as my 3-year-old is average to petite, while my 1-year-old takes after my tall husband and is large all over. I have to bite my tongue every time I want to point out her chubby thighs! I don't deny them snacks, but I prepare healthy meals several times a week, pack them healthy lunches, and let them have snacks in moderation. They spend most of the day outside at daycare, and evenings outside with myself and my husband, and I think that's the best we can do now.

Teaching them to have a good relationship with food is one of the most important things to me, but I do notice their weight. At this age, more on a proportional basis (since weight and height is still measured in percentiles). I've read so much on this topic, especially relating to girls and mothers, and it really scares me because there will be so many extremes as they go through life and I have to be the role model without making them feel like they are being deprived or put down for what they eat!

I started to gain a lot of weight when my dad left when I was in the fifth grade. At first I always thought I was fat, but looking back at pictures now, it really shows that I started to gain weight when he did leave. My mom still blames my weight problem on him. I don't, specially now that I'm grown. Lol. But when he left, my mom then had to work a lot of hours to stay a float from all the bills. My dad's mom then moved In with us and she became the main care taker of us while my moms at work. She does not cook and loves soda. Before she came all we were allowed was water and my mom would cook every meal. It turned into mcdonalds pretty much every day, and we would normally get shakes along with it. My mom on the other hand got too busy and depressed to notice and to busy to eat and she became under weight. So she was shrinking as her kids got bigger. I think when I loat all the weight before she was so proud of me.,,,then I gained 100 during pregnancy...ugh

I don't think there's a simple, one-size-fits-all answer to the problem. There are many reasons that contribute to obesity in childhood. Rarely is it the parents' fault, but the media would have us believe it is entirely. It's actually one of my major triggers.

I was adopted as an infant into a tall, thin family. My biological family were all overweight, unbeknownst to any of us, until I turned about 30. As a child, I was a healthy weight, with a small amount of chub. As soon as I hit puberty, all hell broke loose. I suddenly had a ravenous appetite and continued to eat my way to 155 pounds through my teens. While not what is considered huge, I was noticably, significantly overweight in my teens. It was a constant power struggle between my mother and I as to what went in my mouth. She wanted me slim, I wanted me slim, but my appetite won the war. We both lost battle after battle, as my will to eat was stronger than both of our desires to have me stay slim. I have the usual teen stories of attending WW, Tops, Weight Loss Clinic, etc., and following diet after diet...Scarsdale, grapefruit, Paavo Arola, whatever, you name it, my mother had me try it. She was diligent in her attempts to monitor and prepare food. To no avail. I just ate after school. There were several vending machines at the University I rode my bike through on my way to and from school and they had this huge brownie in one...nuff said. When my mother baked for Christmas, she had to bake several times, because I pilfered stuff from the freezer. As long as I was being denied, I was out of control. Was this my mother's fault? My fault? No. My survival instinct was stronger than both of us. The trick to preventing a huge weight gain was to make sure I always knew there was another treat, another meal coming. I could wait a few hours. But forever? Forget it. That just set me up for deceit and a binge. The key to dealing with a ravenous appetite it to keep it satisfied with small things, often. That means snacking to stave off hunger pangs. Hope you parents of adipose inclined kids are reading this...you can save both of you a lot of heartache and bring peace to your household.

One of the contributing factors is the way kids live, compared to the way we lived as kids. They're kept indoors for their own safety. Rarely do we see a kid running around the neighbourhood on their own like we did as kids and when we see one, we wonder where their parents are, because that kid is the vulnerable one. It's a sad, sad state that we've come to as a society.

Another factor is video games. Kids that are kept indoors have to be entertained somehow and this is an easy solution. We're not bad parents because we provide our kids with something to occupy them. Our parents didn't entertain us 24/7 either. The truth is, we need to spend MORE time with our kids than our parents did. We have to find ways to get them physical and that means doing it with them. Getting them out there. Driving them to activity after activity. Yes, our parents did that too, but in between, we were outside running around. Our kids aren't. They don't have the independence that we did. Whose fault is that? Not the parents and certainly not the kids.

Anyway, I am now a mother of a naturally slim child and of a naturally heavy child. My daughter is a size 2. She took the words I said to her as an 11-year old to heart "Learn from my mistakes. You can eat what you want, but you must exercise almost every day in order to stay slim and keep your health." While exercise was not naturally her favourite thing and she had a little extra weight during puberty, she registered for a dance class throughout her teens and continues to exercise regularly by running, doing tae bo and kickboxing, pilates, rock climbing, riding and other sports. She knows she can eat what she wants as long as she exercises to keep her metabolism going.

My son is not so lucky. Throughout my pregnancy, I had gestational diabetes and he was born with the same issues I have. He is quite content to sit still for long periods of time and cannot understand why anyone would want to do otherwise. It has been a struggle just to get him to go for a walk. This year, however, he is 14 and is starting to notice girls in a more focused way, shall we say? In spite of previous resistance to the idea, he has signed up for a personal trainer [thank you grand parents!!!] and I think this summer, he will start a lifetime of exercise. He seems to have the right attitude and is self-motivated enough to go on his own. I am so excited and relieved that the time has finally come for him. I was very aware of what he must have gone through at school and made sure I supported him in every way I could. I felt sometimes like I'd failed him, because he was overweight and got bullied some. I made sure though, that food was never a power struggle between us, as I know from personal experience, it only makes things worse. It gives a child an avenue to rebel in. Food is NOT the arena you want your kid to rebel in. At 14, he is 6'3" and 280 pounds right now and at the moment, the bullies are half his size, so it's not an issue. In Sept he goes to high school. We are dreading it somewhat. Boys being boys, there is always someone bigger and meaner that will test him. We are not particularly looking forward to that day. Hopefully, he will have some level of fitness by the end of the summer and might be confident enough to be able to avoid a confrontation. He is slow to boil and we have advocated peaceful means of shutting down bullies [humour being one of the main ones], so we are also hopeful.

This turned outto be more about the history of me and my kids, but I just wanted to show that each situation with each child is different and you really do need to take into account genetic and family backgrounds. In the end, the will to fight it is within the individual. You cannot do it for them, only support them by providing healthy foods and encouraging exercise as something fun to do. Parents today have some unique challenges and instead of being accusatory, judgmental and dismissive, we need to offer support and understanding and create safe environments where kids can play. All Day.

We have allowed our society to become one where it is not safe to go out. We have taken the consequences away from our children and allowed a few of them to terrorize our society. Childhood obesity is one of the consequences of that reality.

Hollycat
:flowerforyou:

I was a heavy kid and fat teen and let me say......my mom didn't notice. My dad did but he didn't help. He'd make a comment here and there about not eating so much and not sitting in front of the tv....but that is what HE DID too.... So it was like...I learned the eat junk and be not active life-style from my parents. They weren't active and didn't make me be active so I only knew lazy.... Plus I didn't understand(seriously I didn't understand until high school) that junk food made you fat. Yeah I knew it was unhealthy and bad on your body but I didn't understand it made you gain weight. My best friend was a stick figured girl and ate crap food ONLY because she hated fruits and vegetables. Well....she's skinny and eats junk...so it must not be the food she eats, right?... That was my thoughts to it. Plus PORTIONS!!.... I didn't know anythign about portion sizes!??... I'd ask my mom why I was bigger than the other kids and she'd just say "it's because they haven't caughtup to me yet cuz they're younger" or "it'll come off at your growth spurt". I guess she thought I meant height and not weight??....And never realized I was already tall and wasn't going to have another growth spurt??.... :-/

Some parents notice...but they're too lazy themselves to help themselves let alone their kids... (like my dad)

Some don't notice or think nothing of it....like it's just baby fat that will come off as I get older ...(like my mom)

It is only partically the parents fault because mostly I believe the government doesn't do enough to inform the public of what they are really eating.... I mean the parents themselves don't always know the truth about why they're fat and what they're eating because in their childhood they weren't taught.... As as I said before fast food is cheaper and most people live on a budget... It's just a circle that will keep repeating itself generation after generation...

Kids are obese today because for so many they have access to quick fix junk and fast-foods.... We're the generation of computers and video games.... We want MORE for LESS so we go to restaurants with huge portions that don't cost too much so we can afford to eat there again and again.... It's CHEAPER to be fat....at least in the beginning until you develope health problem from it and have to buy expensive medicines because of your poor diet for so many years.... OMG.... I better stop of I'll go on a rant about how awful this country is about TRULY informing the public about what they are consuming and over-consuming at that.

My kids are both naturally thin but who knows how long that will last. I'm always telling them to go outside and play and not watch tv. I don't want them to repeat my every-day -constant struggle to get up and move and not eat junk....

My child is a porkchop...I feed him super healthy because of it. But the fact of the matter is, my kid is lazy. I`m more active than he is, but getting him to come mountain bike riding is like pulling teeth. He just b!tches and moans the entire time and we just end up fighting. I enrolled him in football, and the kid walks most of the time...he`s even had to do 10 pushups because he was walking, he did 4. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, or your best intentions, there`s nothing you can do. There are no video games the minute the snow melts, he has to be outside playing, and he does...but that hasn`t slimmed him out any. Not to mention his dad is HUGE...I mean 6`4 270lbs with a large shoulder spance. But his dad wasn`t large when he was 8. One more year and I can take Ash to the gym with me, they have a youth program where they teach them eating healthy and how to lift weights properly, he seems excited about it, so we`ll give it a go...I just wish he wasn`t so lazy.

You seem very negative about your son's weight issues. He probably feeds upon your negativity. Maybe you should see if there is a certain sport/activity that he is interested in. For some reason... Mtn. Biking may just not be his thing. He needs to find the motivation within himself and therefore arguing with him about something in my opinion is the worst thing that you could do.

Enrich him in ways that he wants to get outside and start moving... Forcing him is not the way. Some kids are naturally husky... He may like karate. It teaches discipline and focuses on the individual.

Parents should take responsibility for not only their child's weight but for their nutritional education and needs. I was always thin as a child and as a teenager. But I was never taught good eating habits and as a result I had to educate myself when I became a parent. I struggled for years with overcoming the bad eating habits from my childhood even though I was not an overweight parent either. Sure we had fast food on occasion and treats even more often, but I made sure my children knew that these were treats and should never be a main source of food or calories.

Fast food may be easier for the parent, but it is not cheaper or quicker than cooking a healthy meal at home. It takes only minutes to cook fish or lean small cuts of meat and vegetables. Whole grains and beans are readily available in many forms for about the same price as processed unhealthy foods. And certainly for less $ and in less time than the gas/time spent driving to, waiting for and paying for fast food. The only convenience of fast food is that the parent doesn't have to prepare it.

Often, a child who is overweight will undergo physical changes that will change his or her body type in the course of a few months. I know of several people who when from overweight/chubby to normal/lean just because of a growth spurt or other body developments.

When I was a fat kid my pediatrician told me this is largely not the case for the majority of fat kids... it's just another excuse parents tell themselves when in denial about their kids' health. If a child is overweight / obese the situation is only worsened waiting around to see if the next growth spurt evens them out.

In my humble opinion, obese kids need to be told by a health professional that they are obese and will end up eating themselves into an early grave if they don't fix it. People are so worried about feelings and being politically correct, just hand out the blunt honesty, stop making excuses, and start making changes!

Often, a child who is overweight will undergo physical changes that will change his or her body type in the course of a few months. I know of several people who when from overweight/chubby to normal/lean just because of a growth spurt or other body developments.

When I was a fat kid my pediatrician told me this is largely not the case for the majority of fat kids... it's just another excuse parents tell themselves when in denial about their kids' health. If a child is overweight / obese the situation is only worsened waiting around to see if the next growth spurt evens them out.

In my humble opinion, obese kids need to be told by a health professional that they are obese and will end up eating themselves into an early grave if they don't fix it. People are so worried about feelings and being politically correct, just hand out the blunt honesty, stop making excuses, and start making changes!

I wasn't obese at any point in childhood but fell into the overweight category for much of elementary school. I don't know what happened, but once I turned 17 I leaned out considerably without a lot of effort.

I had a lot of struggles as a younger kid. Generally moving around more outside would help, but I always hovered above that healthy/ideal weight. My mom was actually the opposite of helpful most of the time. I was so painfully aware of being overweight I had a lot of issues into adulthood with self image. I really wish I had opportunities as a kid to meet with a nutritionist or RD about my eating habits and outlook. Parents may have good intentions but just end up projecting their own frustrations and poor nutritional "insight" onto their progeny.

So awareness is good, but beware of how you educate and inform...

My child is a porkchop...I feed him super healthy because of it. But the fact of the matter is, my kid is lazy. I`m more active than he is, but getting him to come mountain bike riding is like pulling teeth. He just b!tches and moans the entire time and we just end up fighting. I enrolled him in football, and the kid walks most of the time...he`s even had to do 10 pushups because he was walking, he did 4. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, or your best intentions, there`s nothing you can do. There are no video games the minute the snow melts, he has to be outside playing, and he does...but that hasn`t slimmed him out any. Not to mention his dad is HUGE...I mean 6`4 270lbs with a large shoulder spance. But his dad wasn`t large when he was 8. One more year and I can take Ash to the gym with me, they have a youth program where they teach them eating healthy and how to lift weights properly, he seems excited about it, so we`ll give it a go...I just wish he wasn`t so lazy.

You seem very negative about your son's weight issues. He probably feeds upon your negativity. Maybe you should see if there is a certain sport/activity that he is interested in. For some reason... Mtn. Biking may just not be his thing. He needs to find the motivation within himself and therefore arguing with him about something in my opinion is the worst thing that you could do.

Enrich him in ways that he wants to get outside and start moving... Forcing him is not the way. Some kids are naturally husky... He may like karate. It teaches discipline and focuses on the individual.

did you miss the part where I said he played football? What do I do about laziness? Grab his hand and haul him around the block with me? It's not what he's eating, he doesn't move...and when he moves, it's slow. No way do I call him fatty, or judge him by how big he is, in fact when he tells me he's fat I stop and talk to him about it...you seem very condisending and judgemental about how someone raises their kids, all based on a stupid comment on a forum...Don't tell me how to raise my son, or what the worst thing I can do, the best thing you can do is keep your nose to yourself. If you have the time to take the kid to karate while working full time and running a household (not to mention squeezing in a work out) plus 4 football practices a week and tournements on weekend, then be my guest.

It seems like parents are the key here, which is probably correct. We just need to remember that SAHM is not the norm any more. It's all a household can do to get the laundry done and enough food in the fridge to last a week, much less spend their two hours at home each evening preparing, cooking, and cleaning up a meal and then dragging everybody outside to play before doing baths and bedtime. There are different challenges now than there were years ago. A drive-thru is definitely faster than the grocery store after work, and that can be solved by meal-planning and having everything on hand. I don't even have kids in extracurricular activities yet and it's still a race to get home fast enough to feed them before they scream!

I have a hard time making good choices at a drive-thru, so tend to stick to mostly-microwave meals (steamed veggies and chicken), but I can totally understand how a parent loses control of their child's eating habits. I don't know what the answer is. When I was a SAHM for six months I know I cooked more and was healthier myself and it was probably better for my kids that way, but not many families even have that option anymore. For me it is about priorities. If I can make healthy meals 75% of the time and get my kids out and running 75% of our leisure time, we are on track.

It seems like parents are the key here, which is probably correct. We just need to remember that SAHM is not the norm any more. It's all a household can do to get the laundry done and enough food in the fridge to last a week, much less spend their two hours at home each evening preparing, cooking, and cleaning up a meal and then dragging everybody outside to play before doing baths and bedtime. There are different challenges now than there were years ago. A drive-thru is definitely faster than the grocery store after work, and that can be solved by meal-planning and having everything on hand. I don't even have kids in extracurricular activities yet and it's still a race to get home fast enough to feed them before they scream!

I have a hard time making good choices at a drive-thru, so tend to stick to mostly-microwave meals (steamed veggies and chicken), but I can totally understand how a parent loses control of their child's eating habits. I don't know what the answer is. When I was a SAHM for six months I know I cooked more and was healthier myself and it was probably better for my kids that way, but not many families even have that option anymore. For me it is about priorities. If I can make healthy meals 75% of the time and get my kids out and running 75% of our leisure time, we are on track.

Dinner need not take 2 hrs. From the time my children were very small I was a single mom working a full time job with not much money, but I still cooked my girls healthy meals most days. As you say, it does take planning. And creativity. I was cooking 30 minute meals long before anyone ever heard of Rachael Ray. I didn't make everything from scratch though. Canned and frozen ingredients were my friends. But not frozen meals. Most are so processed that much of the nutrition is lost.

I wasn't saying that it takes two hours to do dinner and clean it up. I meant dinner (45-60 minutes), outside, baths, and bedtime altogether takes up the entire two hours at home. I prefer 15 minute meals, with the ingredients already in the pantry and the dishwasher emptied and ready to be refilled

My youngest child is overweight and its really hard on me. And at this point, I dont know what to do. Any help would be appreciated. He does not live with me full time. He splits his time between my house and his dads. I have tried numerous times to talk to his dad and his grandma about this but they continue to feed him the unhealthy choices. I feel like he eats well at my house and then goes back to his dads and the pattern continues. I dont know what to do anymore.

I would talk to your child's doctor about it.. have your child'd dad attend the appointment so that he hears the same information that you do. If the doctor has concerns about your child's weight he can give you both ideas on how to handle it. and this way your ex is getting the information from the doctor, not you... maybe he will be more receptive that way.