Motivation to find the time: full-time career with a family

Linzjohnston
Linzjohnston Posts: 16 Member
edited December 2 in Health and Weight Loss
Looking for other people facing the challenges of a demanding career and a family with young kids at home. I often have a two week streak of amazing diligent food/exercise routines followed by a week with a sick kid, swimming lessons, school functions, etc., which throws everything for a loop. Meal planning goes out the window for a couple days, my sleep goes to hell, gym takes a backseat, etc. There is always something. Even when a week goes relatively smoothly at work and in life I struggle to spend the short hours left of the day I have with my kids and spouse at the gym. So I try to get up at 4:30 to run, or I get to the gym around 9pm-10:30pm. Needless to say its hard to get there a lot of the time. And if I do I am so exhausted my time spent with my family seems wasted anyway.

I know I am not the only one facing this, looking for some support and motivation and friends to keep me moving, to relate, to offer some ideas on how to keep on track. I really need to drop 40lbs.
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Replies

  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Think easy meals... cooked/grilled protein with frozen veggies works great and it takes 10 minutes to prepare. For the gym, well, sleep is more important, so if you can't fit it in... just try and be more active during the day.
  • StaciMarie1974
    StaciMarie1974 Posts: 4,138 Member
    Look for ways to multi-task. I combine tv watching/Netflix or reading with time on the treadmill. I look for active things to do with the family. This past Sunday night we were all wandering around a park looking for Pokemon. And sometimes I take a few minutes for ME and don't feel guilty about it.

    I work full time Mon-Fri 8am-5pm. I make use of spare time before work if traffic is light (school starts back August 1 so light morning traffic is about to be history) and at lunch. I keep deoderant/body wipes/change of clothes at work as its 90+ degrees outside and walking means I get sweaty. I work a 2nd job Friday nights & on Sunday from 11:30am-8:30pm. My kids are teens, and for years they've had their own chores/responsibilities around the house. Even for younger kids, there are things they can do to 'help out' and it teaches important life lessons. Oh, and I also just finished an MBA program, graduated this past May.
  • dmt4641
    dmt4641 Posts: 409 Member
    Home workout dvds
    Crockpot
    Meal prep on Sunday (though I prefer fresh dinner at night, I do this for lunches and snacks)
    Make the best choices you can when you are out of the house
    Family walks/exercise together/tennis or other sport together

    One thing I have on hand is a few favorite weekly menus with a shopping list. So if it is a crazy week I don't have to think about what to eat that week, just do what I did before that we enjoyed.
  • Bearbo27
    Bearbo27 Posts: 339 Member
    I have a super crazy life. I work full time at night, have two daughters (one in grade school, one in preschool), shuttling kids to and from school while the hubby is at work, cooking, cleaning, I am a Girl Scout leader for my daughters' troop, etc. The biggest thing is to make yourself a priority. If you don't, who will? Right now my youngest daughter is going on day 3 of being sick. I've been lacking on sleep because of taking care of her, but I've still been planning out my meals to work with my deficit. At our Girl Scout leader meeting the other day (which was at a restaurant), I chose a side salad for lunch instead of some high calorie meal. I've been fitting everything else in around it and I've been seeing results. Yes my house may have some toys on the floor, I may still have a to do list a mile long, but my health is near the top of that list.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    dmt4641 wrote: »
    Home workout dvds
    Crockpot
    Meal prep on Sunday (though I prefer fresh dinner at night, I do this for lunches and snacks)
    Make the best choices you can when you are out of the house
    Family walks/exercise together/tennis or other sport together

    One thing I have on hand is a few favorite weekly menus with a shopping list. So if it is a crazy week I don't have to think about what to eat that week, just do what I did before that we enjoyed.

    Good call. I use mine as well.

    I often eat leftovers for my lunch.

    and I agree...exercise is not a requirement for weight loss...it's for health and fitness and that will follow trust me.
  • bbordner
    bbordner Posts: 59 Member
    I have four sons and my wife doesn't get home until well after I do, so when I get home the routine is making sure homework is done, making sure chores were done, break up arguments, make dinner, feed kids, get kids ready for bed. By this time it is usually already around 8 or 9 pm. Then it's work on my college classes or take a few minutes to do something I want to do. I despise getting up in the morning any earlier than I have to, largely because I had to get up really early for the first 20 years of my adult life.

    I got fed up because I wasn't exercising regularly and decided I needed to do something about it. So I started going to a nearby gym during my lunch hour. I figure 30 minutes at least three times a week during lunch is better than no minutes at all (which is what I was doing). Committing to three days per week as a minimum gives me some leeway in case work is busy so I don't feel guilty about it, but I do usually go each weekday. Then, for the benefit of my co-workers, I take a quick shower at the gym before going back. That shower usually feels better and more refreshing than the one in the morning for some reason.

    For meals, I don't prep dinner, but do make my lunches for the week on Sunday and toss them in the freezer. To be honest though, that's more to keep me from going overboard on calories at lunch and to reduce the amount of time I spend packing my lunch in the morning than anything else.

    Since I started following this routine about 2.5 months ago, I've gone down 14 lbs. It worked for me. It might work for you, it might not. The key is to find a way to make it a habit that you can incorporate into your lifestyle rather than making it another stress factor in your life.
  • one1fast68
    one1fast68 Posts: 51 Member
    Like others have said. You don't have to exercise to loose weight. Log your calories and adjust how many calories your eating by how much weight you loose or gain. MFP will give you a baseline but it might be higher or lower for you. When you make a change to your calories, give yourself 2-3 weeks at the same calories before changing. Sodium intake along with other factors can hide losses on the scale.
  • Linzjohnston
    Linzjohnston Posts: 16 Member
    I do try to stay active with my kids, but at ages 3 and 6, their activity level is pretty minor. Short strolls, short bike rides, playing at the park. In addition, meal prep....I do really well with breakfast and lunch but supper I feel so guilty eating different meals from my family. I worry its bad that they see me eating differently. Plus I am the cook. But my kids, while eating relatively healthy, love their pasta (I make whole wheat) and salad and chicken just doesn't cut it for them.

    Not making excuses, just stating my realities.

    I appreciate those of you who are putting yourself first, I try, I really do, but its so hard to do, my kids always come first, but I want to be healthy FOR them too, not just for me. My daughter the other day said to my hubby "if you eat one more hamburger daddy youll be as fat as mommy". I was crushed. She meant no harm, was not trying to be mean, it was just a kids saying what kids say which is often more truthful than we ever want to hear. Maybe it was the butt kicking I needed.

  • chunky_pinup
    chunky_pinup Posts: 758 Member
    Linzjohnston wrote: »
    I do try to stay active with my kids, but at ages 3 and 6, their activity level is pretty minor. Short strolls, short bike rides, playing at the park. In addition, meal prep....I do really well with breakfast and lunch but supper I feel so guilty eating different meals from my family. I worry its bad that they see me eating differently. Plus I am the cook. But my kids, while eating relatively healthy, love their pasta (I make whole wheat) and salad and chicken just doesn't cut it for them.

    Not making excuses, just stating my realities.

    I appreciate those of you who are putting yourself first, I try, I really do, but its so hard to do, my kids always come first, but I want to be healthy FOR them too, not just for me. My daughter the other day said to my hubby "if you eat one more hamburger daddy youll be as fat as mommy". I was crushed. She meant no harm, was not trying to be mean, it was just a kids saying what kids say which is often more truthful than we ever want to hear. Maybe it was the butt kicking I needed.

    Pretty Minor activity level at 3 and 6 years old??? I have never heard that before, and I'd love to trade kids for a weekend (or even a night!) of pretty minor activity! Most kids at those ages are full of energy (mine included) and get a lot out of doing fun family activities together.

    Sometimes you have to put yourself first in order to put your kids first. Do you want them growing up without a mom and resenting that you couldn't be there for them? Then you need to put yourself first for a bit. It's hard. It SEEMS selfish at first. But it's not at all. Every day I wish I could have had one more day with my mom, and I feel like maybe I could have if her lifestyle had been better...you ARE putting your kids first when you invest in your health. You just need to change your perspective on it. :)
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,744 Member
    Linzjohnston wrote: »
    I do try to stay active with my kids, but at ages 3 and 6, their activity level is pretty minor. Short strolls, short bike rides, playing at the park. In addition, meal prep....I do really well with breakfast and lunch but supper I feel so guilty eating different meals from my family. I worry its bad that they see me eating differently. Plus I am the cook. But my kids, while eating relatively healthy, love their pasta (I make whole wheat) and salad and chicken just doesn't cut it for them.

    Not making excuses, just stating my realities.

    I appreciate those of you who are putting yourself first, I try, I really do, but its so hard to do, my kids always come first, but I want to be healthy FOR them too, not just for me. My daughter the other day said to my hubby "if you eat one more hamburger daddy youll be as fat as mommy". I was crushed. She meant no harm, was not trying to be mean, it was just a kids saying what kids say which is often more truthful than we ever want to hear. Maybe it was the butt kicking I needed.

    Why feel guilty? Get rid of the guilt ASAP. It has no benefit and only taps into precious energy. It's okay to eat differently. It's all about how you present it. "Mommy has different tastes" or "Mommy needs different nutrition" or however you say it, just make it positive. Offer to let the kids taste your food so that they can expand their palates as well.

    Sorry about the comment from your daughter. The things kids say sometimes. You're on the right track. Just be patient and consistent.
  • bbordner
    bbordner Posts: 59 Member
    My third son had a habit of running around the house saying, "Dad is fat! Dad is fat! Dad is fat!" :neutral: Out of the mouths of babes, right?

    I don't make different meals. If it's something they like, I eat enough to stay in my goal for the day and stop. Other nights I figure if it's good enough for me, it's good enough for them.
  • youngmomtaz
    youngmomtaz Posts: 1,075 Member
    You really don't have to cook any differently. You can serve yourself an extra helping of veggies to replace a pasta or rice carb if that is where you want to cut calories, you can have an overall smaller serving, you can change up the main and side dishes to suit you and add extras in for the kids or your husband who will need more calories than you. My boys ages 8-15 and my husband have always just eaten what I cook. They take extra sides, extra protein, sprinkle their potatoes with cheese or sauces, have dessert. Easy for me to cut back a bit while they maintain and grow.

    Find a few DVDs that you enjoy to workout with. I have done the gym(lunch breaks and early morn) but when I just wanted to be home with them or when time or life gets in the way then 20-40 min in front of the tv while they do homework/play Lego/look at their iPods/hang out with their dad or even join me, becomes my workout. They see me sweat, work hard, get better, and they realize that some things have to be worked for. Hopefully they can apply that as they grow.

    Good luck, carving out the time and realizing how much time you actually have can be a great challenge!
  • enterdanger
    enterdanger Posts: 2,447 Member
    Yeah, I don't make different meals either. If I had a $1 for every time I told some kid that it was not a restaurant....Just make the chicken, pasta, and salad and eat what you want out of it.

    Now, I will offer kids the choice of a sandwich if I make something not kid friendly...like steamed crabs or something. I get that most 3 year olds aren't going to pick crabs.

    The real guilt you probably feel is that you just can't focus the amount of time you want on ANYTHING. Like you don't get time for you, you don't have enough quality time with kids or your partner, if you're like me your house might look like squatters in live it. It's hard when you feel like you are doing so many things that you aren't doing anything good...Then we compensate by neglecting ourselves to try and be super parent.

    I'm a super type A, neat freak, perfectionist. Once I had 2 kids though I had to accept that I can either lose one of the only hours I get with the family doing house work, or I can give everything a lick and a promise and spend time with my kids. Kids win. If I'm super stressed out, sometimes I NEED to workout. How much good am I doing my family stressed out of my mind? That's not quality time. Hubs is there to pick up the slack. I feel grateful everyday I married someone who is a true partner. But no, I don't get enough ME time either.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Linzjohnston wrote: »
    I do try to stay active with my kids, but at ages 3 and 6, their activity level is pretty minor. Short strolls, short bike rides, playing at the park. In addition, meal prep....I do really well with breakfast and lunch but supper I feel so guilty eating different meals from my family. I worry its bad that they see me eating differently. Plus I am the cook. But my kids, while eating relatively healthy, love their pasta (I make whole wheat) and salad and chicken just doesn't cut it for them.

    Not making excuses, just stating my realities.

    I appreciate those of you who are putting yourself first, I try, I really do, but its so hard to do, my kids always come first, but I want to be healthy FOR them too, not just for me. My daughter the other day said to my hubby "if you eat one more hamburger daddy youll be as fat as mommy". I was crushed. She meant no harm, was not trying to be mean, it was just a kids saying what kids say which is often more truthful than we ever want to hear. Maybe it was the butt kicking I needed.

    I'm with you on the 'not very active at that age' thing, honestly! I think it depends on the kids... I have friends with kids who love walks. My kids hate it. They'll go to the park but again... at that age I basically spent my time following them to make sure they were not running off (which is activity though!).

    But nope, sorry, not making different meals in my house (nor am I eating chicken and salad every day or I would have given up after a week).
  • Erfw7471
    Erfw7471 Posts: 242 Member
    Linzjohnston wrote: »
    I appreciate those of you who are putting yourself first, I try, I really do, but its so hard to do, my kids always come first, but I want to be healthy FOR them too, not just for me. My daughter the other day said to my hubby "if you eat one more hamburger daddy youll be as fat as mommy". I was crushed. She meant no harm, was not trying to be mean, it was just a kids saying what kids say which is often more truthful than we ever want to hear. Maybe it was the butt kicking I needed.

    I'm not sure how old you are - I'm 43 and I just can't express enough how I wish I took care of myself sooner. I have 4 kids, work, have a farm that I help take care of, and have a handicapped parent that lives with us that we care for.

    I also now have health issues that I am beginning to deal with myself and I'm really having to become "selfish" about what I must do for me. I can no longer sacrifice so much of myself without paying the physical price so I now do what I need to do for me *so that I am capable of doing for others*. I'm no good to anyone else if I let myself go - I just can't live that way anymore.

    Start with your diet, simple foods. Batch cook, crockpot, get your family exposed to other foods. Plan. Re-evaluate how you spend your time and drop what just isn't as important. Home workouts/home gym. If you really want it you'll make it happen. Good luck.
  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,011 Member
    Erfw7471 wrote: »
    Linzjohnston wrote: »
    I appreciate those of you who are putting yourself first, I try, I really do, but its so hard to do, my kids always come first, but I want to be healthy FOR them too, not just for me. My daughter the other day said to my hubby "if you eat one more hamburger daddy youll be as fat as mommy". I was crushed. She meant no harm, was not trying to be mean, it was just a kids saying what kids say which is often more truthful than we ever want to hear. Maybe it was the butt kicking I needed.

    I'm not sure how old you are - I'm 43 and I just can't express enough how I wish I took care of myself sooner. I have 4 kids, work, have a farm that I help take care of, and have a handicapped parent that lives with us that we care for.

    I also now have health issues that I am beginning to deal with myself and I'm really having to become "selfish" about what I must do for me. I can no longer sacrifice so much of myself without paying the physical price so I now do what I need to do for me *so that I am capable of doing for others*. I'm no good to anyone else if I let myself go - I just can't live that way anymore.

    Start with your diet, simple foods. Batch cook, crockpot, get your family exposed to other foods. Plan. Re-evaluate how you spend your time and drop what just isn't as important. Home workouts/home gym. If you really want it you'll make it happen. Good luck.

    I just wanted to second this! So many women seem to think "putting my kids first" means not putting themselves anywhere on the list. Then when they get older they start to suffer the health issues years of being overweight and sedentary can cause, and now they can't enjoy/help out with their grandkids. One of the best things you can do for your children is model a healthy lifestyle for them - Children learn more from what we do than from what we say to them.

    You don't have to "put yourself first", but you are doing your family a disservice if you teach them that mom's health, preferences, and time aren't just as important as everyone else's. Maybe try flat out asking them for help? Mommy wants to be more healthy, can you guys come for a walk with me? Mommy wants to eat better, can we start trying new vegetables?

    I know it's easier said than done, but you WILL figure it out, good luck! :drinker:
  • dmt4641
    dmt4641 Posts: 409 Member
    You don't have to cook yourself separate meals. It is not sustainable for the long term, and it is good to practice now how you want to eat forever. I usually serve myself smaller portions of the same foods I serve my family, usually with a larger portion of veggies and smaller portions of calorie dense foods. Most recipes I make are from skinnytaste or cooking light or something similar, but are far from bland diet food. If there is something in a dish a kid doesn't like, I make an adjustment to their plate, not mine. If it is totally not kid friendly (spicy) then I let them eat something else. But they have learned to like most of the meals I make, though some foods take 3-5 tries before they learn to like it.
  • Bearbo27
    Bearbo27 Posts: 339 Member
    edited July 2016
    Linzjohnston wrote: »
    I do try to stay active with my kids, but at ages 3 and 6, their activity level is pretty minor. Short strolls, short bike rides, playing at the park. In addition, meal prep....I do really well with breakfast and lunch but supper I feel so guilty eating different meals from my family. I worry its bad that they see me eating differently. Plus I am the cook. But my kids, while eating relatively healthy, love their pasta (I make whole wheat) and salad and chicken just doesn't cut it for them.

    Not making excuses, just stating my realities.

    I appreciate those of you who are putting yourself first, I try, I really do, but its so hard to do, my kids always come first, but I want to be healthy FOR them too, not just for me. My daughter the other day said to my hubby "if you eat one more hamburger daddy youll be as fat as mommy". I was crushed. She meant no harm, was not trying to be mean, it was just a kids saying what kids say which is often more truthful than we ever want to hear. Maybe it was the butt kicking I needed.

    My girls are 3 and 6 as well. My oldest hates to run or move around much at all. My youngest is all over the place. It is definitely hard but I would just try to focus on nutrition and your eating first. Then add in exercise a little at a time. As for the making of two meals, I usually make two. My husband and kids are picky and like foods that just don't fit well in my calories (I could but I wouldn't be able to eat too much of it). It hasn't been bad at all. In fact, my kids have been curious about what I'm eating and trying bits of it. The other day my 3 year old chose steamed broccoli off of my plate over the pasta on hers :) My 6 year old knows that mommy is trying to eat healthy and it makes her want to do it too. She makes it a point to show me when she's eaten her vegetables and how she is making healthier choices too. It has also opened up discussions with her about healthy food choices and how junk food is best in small portions. It really is a positive experience.

    As a previous poster stated, I also put my kids first, but I had to make it a point to start putting my own health right up there with them. I am no good to then if I have dangerous health issues (which I was on the verge of).
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    Weight loss is about calories. You can eat casseroles, sandwiches, salads, eggs, spaghetti, frozen pizza, fast food hamburgers as long as it fits your calorie goal. You are eating something regardless of how much time you have- just make sure your choices are the right portion size for you and log as accurately as you can.
    Be realistic when you meal plan. Plan quick cooking low prep meals for weekdays.
    You can double recipes a few nights a week or make a huge pot of soup and put the extra in the freezer for a day where people are sick or you are extra busy.
    Cook a whole chicken, ham or roast and cube or shred the meat. Put in in the freezer and use it for recipes.
    Put more vegetables on your plate.
  • andylllI
    andylllI Posts: 379 Member
    I kind of laugh when I read these threads when busy moms ask for motivation and support and most of the advice takes MORE time out of their already busy schedule.

    OP I work variable hours - on average 50 -60 a week and have two kids. While I agree that making yourself a higher priority is good advice, I wouldn't be able to follow through on that without help. Lots of it. Paid and unpaid. Is there anyway you can increase help/ decrease the load on yourself? I eventually asked my mom for help and she comes once a week to babysit the kids for date night. My husband and I will go for a run or to the gym for our "date." And I've gotten very very good at being very directive with my husband regarding help around the house and with dinners.

    I do eat differently than my kids. All meals are served deconstructed around here. They may have a fish taco that is just fish and cheese in a tortilla for example (or some nights just the tortilla). I have the fish on greens. Same ingredients different macros.

    Raising health eaters is a great blog by a nutritionist - it taught me how to save time by making a meal rotation and has some great ideas for meals and teaching kids self regulation. Since implementing a meal rotation I would estimate I get at least an extra hour or two a week (grocery shopping is easy and list based and I can send my husband! And there is no worrying about what to make for dinner).
  • andream1976
    andream1976 Posts: 77 Member
    First start out with just food and portion control. Track your calories and see where you fall. Exercise is important, of course, but if you're struggling to fit in work out time, then start by just changing your eating habits. Maybe after a month or so you can add in something like a walk around the block or a walk during your lunch. You don't have to go to the gym to get exercise. Something like walking the dog, taking a bike ride with the family, even chasing your kids around the house will all add up. Wear a fit bit or something similar to see how your activity adds up...it may be more than you think! Also, I love Leslie Sansone walking videos. She has a great variety of walking routines that range from 15 minutes to 60 minutes and I love her motivation. I bought a lot of my copies on Amazon and Ebay. Please consider checking her out. And, even though it's summer time, your CROCK POT is your friend. ;) I use mine at least twice a week. You can throw some chicken and veggies in the pot before you leave for work, turn it on and dinner is DONE when you get home. I also like one pot meals or casseroles where you can make your whole meal in one dish. Pinterest has lots of great ideas. Remember...baby steps. Rome wasn't built in a day. You can do it! B)
  • nowine4me
    nowine4me Posts: 3,985 Member
    You CAN control what you eat, and that's the most important aspect of weight loss. Also, lots of water. And, focus on getting plenty of sleep. In your situation, I would skip the gym for now and focus on getting your runs in when you can -- hopefully your husband can cover on weekend mornings for an hour or so. Once you get food and sleep nailed, it may fall into place. Then, perhaps get bare bones equipment in your garage and sneak in 30 mins of Stronglifts three times a week. But, not at 4:30am or 10:00 at night. Eat well, drink water and Sleep!
  • mis1022
    mis1022 Posts: 109 Member
    I also don't make separate meals but with a vegetarian daughter and a meat loving husband casseroles have been off the list for some time now. I cook things separate and put it together in your plate. I also have a 17 year old son and 6 year old daughter. I work at least 40 hours a week also. So I make dinner and they can eat that or have a bowl of cereal.
    Let go of the mommy guilt, cereal is probably more nutritious than mac n cheese or whatever else you would normally whip up. And much easier clean up.
  • SCoil123
    SCoil123 Posts: 2,111 Member
    I work a minimum 40 hours a week, am a mom, have a relationship that needs attention, and a new dog we are still training. It's tough!

    I pack a sensible lunch and make a protein shake most mornings. My partner is a chef so he does dinner and about 90% of the time it works with my plan. I do Insanity max 30 to fit in short but intense workouts at home and I got a stationary stepper that is aimed at my TV so I can burn calories while watching TV at night.
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