Motivation to find the time: full-time career with a family
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You don't have to cook yourself separate meals. It is not sustainable for the long term, and it is good to practice now how you want to eat forever. I usually serve myself smaller portions of the same foods I serve my family, usually with a larger portion of veggies and smaller portions of calorie dense foods. Most recipes I make are from skinnytaste or cooking light or something similar, but are far from bland diet food. If there is something in a dish a kid doesn't like, I make an adjustment to their plate, not mine. If it is totally not kid friendly (spicy) then I let them eat something else. But they have learned to like most of the meals I make, though some foods take 3-5 tries before they learn to like it.1
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Linzjohnston wrote: »I do try to stay active with my kids, but at ages 3 and 6, their activity level is pretty minor. Short strolls, short bike rides, playing at the park. In addition, meal prep....I do really well with breakfast and lunch but supper I feel so guilty eating different meals from my family. I worry its bad that they see me eating differently. Plus I am the cook. But my kids, while eating relatively healthy, love their pasta (I make whole wheat) and salad and chicken just doesn't cut it for them.
Not making excuses, just stating my realities.
I appreciate those of you who are putting yourself first, I try, I really do, but its so hard to do, my kids always come first, but I want to be healthy FOR them too, not just for me. My daughter the other day said to my hubby "if you eat one more hamburger daddy youll be as fat as mommy". I was crushed. She meant no harm, was not trying to be mean, it was just a kids saying what kids say which is often more truthful than we ever want to hear. Maybe it was the butt kicking I needed.
My girls are 3 and 6 as well. My oldest hates to run or move around much at all. My youngest is all over the place. It is definitely hard but I would just try to focus on nutrition and your eating first. Then add in exercise a little at a time. As for the making of two meals, I usually make two. My husband and kids are picky and like foods that just don't fit well in my calories (I could but I wouldn't be able to eat too much of it). It hasn't been bad at all. In fact, my kids have been curious about what I'm eating and trying bits of it. The other day my 3 year old chose steamed broccoli off of my plate over the pasta on hers My 6 year old knows that mommy is trying to eat healthy and it makes her want to do it too. She makes it a point to show me when she's eaten her vegetables and how she is making healthier choices too. It has also opened up discussions with her about healthy food choices and how junk food is best in small portions. It really is a positive experience.
As a previous poster stated, I also put my kids first, but I had to make it a point to start putting my own health right up there with them. I am no good to then if I have dangerous health issues (which I was on the verge of).0 -
Weight loss is about calories. You can eat casseroles, sandwiches, salads, eggs, spaghetti, frozen pizza, fast food hamburgers as long as it fits your calorie goal. You are eating something regardless of how much time you have- just make sure your choices are the right portion size for you and log as accurately as you can.
Be realistic when you meal plan. Plan quick cooking low prep meals for weekdays.
You can double recipes a few nights a week or make a huge pot of soup and put the extra in the freezer for a day where people are sick or you are extra busy.
Cook a whole chicken, ham or roast and cube or shred the meat. Put in in the freezer and use it for recipes.
Put more vegetables on your plate.0 -
I kind of laugh when I read these threads when busy moms ask for motivation and support and most of the advice takes MORE time out of their already busy schedule.
OP I work variable hours - on average 50 -60 a week and have two kids. While I agree that making yourself a higher priority is good advice, I wouldn't be able to follow through on that without help. Lots of it. Paid and unpaid. Is there anyway you can increase help/ decrease the load on yourself? I eventually asked my mom for help and she comes once a week to babysit the kids for date night. My husband and I will go for a run or to the gym for our "date." And I've gotten very very good at being very directive with my husband regarding help around the house and with dinners.
I do eat differently than my kids. All meals are served deconstructed around here. They may have a fish taco that is just fish and cheese in a tortilla for example (or some nights just the tortilla). I have the fish on greens. Same ingredients different macros.
Raising health eaters is a great blog by a nutritionist - it taught me how to save time by making a meal rotation and has some great ideas for meals and teaching kids self regulation. Since implementing a meal rotation I would estimate I get at least an extra hour or two a week (grocery shopping is easy and list based and I can send my husband! And there is no worrying about what to make for dinner).0 -
First start out with just food and portion control. Track your calories and see where you fall. Exercise is important, of course, but if you're struggling to fit in work out time, then start by just changing your eating habits. Maybe after a month or so you can add in something like a walk around the block or a walk during your lunch. You don't have to go to the gym to get exercise. Something like walking the dog, taking a bike ride with the family, even chasing your kids around the house will all add up. Wear a fit bit or something similar to see how your activity adds up...it may be more than you think! Also, I love Leslie Sansone walking videos. She has a great variety of walking routines that range from 15 minutes to 60 minutes and I love her motivation. I bought a lot of my copies on Amazon and Ebay. Please consider checking her out. And, even though it's summer time, your CROCK POT is your friend. I use mine at least twice a week. You can throw some chicken and veggies in the pot before you leave for work, turn it on and dinner is DONE when you get home. I also like one pot meals or casseroles where you can make your whole meal in one dish. Pinterest has lots of great ideas. Remember...baby steps. Rome wasn't built in a day. You can do it!1
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You CAN control what you eat, and that's the most important aspect of weight loss. Also, lots of water. And, focus on getting plenty of sleep. In your situation, I would skip the gym for now and focus on getting your runs in when you can -- hopefully your husband can cover on weekend mornings for an hour or so. Once you get food and sleep nailed, it may fall into place. Then, perhaps get bare bones equipment in your garage and sneak in 30 mins of Stronglifts three times a week. But, not at 4:30am or 10:00 at night. Eat well, drink water and Sleep!1
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"Putting kids first".
What does it mean, exactly? What we are talking about? Are we talking about taking care of a kid who is sick and needs to be taken care of, or a kid who absolutely needs help with his homework, or needs to be driven to school because there is no other mean of transportation, etc? Or are we talking about attending to just ANY need or wish the kid may have?
Are you still making lunch for kids over 9 years-old ? Or helping each kid with all of their homework every night, even if they don't have a learning disability? Do you have to organize their birthdays like a goddam Pinterest board?
Or ... ?
You get the idea.
You know, there are some things about you - your health, your career, your love life - that are WAAAAYYYY more important than many things related to your kids. And the opposite is true. Someone commented earlier that she places herself first, before her son. But there is no doubt in my mind that her workout session at the gym or the pedicure would come second of her son really needed her mom for something important that could not wait.
My advice: You don't have to chose who's first or second or third. Just take care of what is essential or very important for you, your kid, the rest of your family, etc; then move to the second level of priority for you, the kids, then to the third ...
Beside, it will show your children that they are not the center of the universe, even for the persons who love them more than the world: mommy and daddy. It will show them to share, to be patient and wait, to make compromise (ex: they don't get to eat always what they want, others have personal tastes, too), to know that "love" and "attention" are not synonymous. Like "Right now mommy is less available because she has to plan meals and take long walks, and we have to change the menus a bit because mommy has to eat differently at times."
If they can't understand that ... well it's probably time to start teaching them.
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I also don't make separate meals but with a vegetarian daughter and a meat loving husband casseroles have been off the list for some time now. I cook things separate and put it together in your plate. I also have a 17 year old son and 6 year old daughter. I work at least 40 hours a week also. So I make dinner and they can eat that or have a bowl of cereal.
Let go of the mommy guilt, cereal is probably more nutritious than mac n cheese or whatever else you would normally whip up. And much easier clean up.1 -
I work a minimum 40 hours a week, am a mom, have a relationship that needs attention, and a new dog we are still training. It's tough!
I pack a sensible lunch and make a protein shake most mornings. My partner is a chef so he does dinner and about 90% of the time it works with my plan. I do Insanity max 30 to fit in short but intense workouts at home and I got a stationary stepper that is aimed at my TV so I can burn calories while watching TV at night.1 -
You guys are all awesome!!! Thanks for the guilt check. FYI: I'm 34. My kids are very helpful and involved in the day to day household chores. Dishwasher, making beds, feeding pets, helping with lunches, etc.
And separate meals, I don't do it all the time, but sometimes the kids want chicken fingers, and sometimes my hubs wants Salisbury steak on mashed potatoes. It's not all the time, one a month at most, but my kids like broccoli and carrots.....ill go mental if I eat those daily. They try my food but they don't love it. But point taken....there are ways to make this work. Portion control is a big challenge of mine, especially with carbs.
And for you 40-somethings, thanks for the kick in the *kitten*. You are right, so right! Use it or lose it! I learned this behavior from my mom, I need to be the role model here.
No more excuses.
I prepped 4 meals tonight, and got stuff ready (no protein yet) for two more. And I went for a run after tucking my kids in and putting in a load of laundry. It was hot and tough but I feel great!
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On the crockpot comments, how do you prevent destroying your food? I leave the house at 7am to drop the kids and head to work, I get home from my commute and getting kids from daycare by 5/5:30pm. If I leave the crockpot going that long, even if it switches to warm, the food is either mush or dust.
What are you doing that I'm not?!?! Because so far besides chili or tomato sauce or soup the crockpot destroys my food.
Recipes? Ideas?0 -
Get one with a timer. Or, because mine did not have a timer I bought a plug in wall timer that I plug the crock into.0
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You can also start with meat that is frozen. Takes a few hours to actually defrost in there and then it has enough hours left to cook as well. Usually when I do this I just set it to low.0
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Linzjohnston wrote: »On the crockpot comments, how do you prevent destroying your food? I leave the house at 7am to drop the kids and head to work, I get home from my commute and getting kids from daycare by 5/5:30pm. If I leave the crockpot going that long, even if it switches to warm, the food is either mush or dust.
What are you doing that I'm not?!?! Because so far besides chili or tomato sauce or soup the crockpot destroys my food.
Recipes? Ideas?
one with a timer for sure.
Choose recipes that will allow for a longer cooking time.
and yes the frozen meat is great.
I have a great Thai chicken one I can cook on high for 4-5hours but if the meat is frozen it is fine for longer
cut veggies bigger than you normally would as well or just cook the meat in it.
http://www.gimmesomeoven.com/slow-cooker-rotisserie-chicken-recipe/
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/76778/slow-cook-thai-chicken/?internalSource=recipe hub&referringId=1203&referringContentType=recipe hub
Here are two of my faves0 -
At my old job I was too tired to keep up the exercise routine or get to the gym and it was a snowball effect. We did have a Nintendo Wii and I started doing WiiFit. If you have some sort of game system that can double as an exercise tool it might be a fun way to involve the whole family. Pit yourself against each other to beat the game of exercise.
Hope this helps!1 -
One alternative to the crockpot: freezer meals. (I don't have kids, but I've been working/in school for a while now.) I don't eat different things than my husband; instead, I cruise Pinterest and Eating Well for new recipes that we'll both like. I know that's harder with kids, but it's probably better for them to start learning to like healthy food early on. Anyway - when I find something that works for both of us, I double up when I prep the next round. One gets cooked, the other goes in the freezer, it doesn't take an appreciable amount of extra time, and I've got healthy "mulligans" for finals week or when I have a big paper due. This works really well with recipes that require a marinade.0
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I'm a teacher and I have 3 young kids (age 7, 5 and 2) and my husband does shift work. It's definitely difficult, but it is do-able!
When my husband is on early shift (he leaves at 5am and gets home about 2:30) I can go to the gym in the evening, so I like this week! When he's on late shift (he leaves around 1pm and gets home around 11pm) I go to the gym for 6:30, when it opens, then shower there and go straight to work as he gets the kids ready and takes them to school/nursery.
I'm excited that I finish tomorrow for the Summer holidays (I'm in England) so I have 6 weeks of having more freedom to go to the gym.
Food-wise I stick to easy things, such as chicken or fish and veg, or stir fry, or omelette. The kids usually eat what we do, although sometimes they might have a lighter dinner as they eat a meal at school. I always take lunch to work, either a salad or wrap (chicken/prawns/feta/tuna etc) or sometimes a protein smoothie.0 -
P.S My kids are incredibly active! We live by the sea and I expect I'll spend the next 6 weeks chasing them on their scooters! Even on days we stay at home (very rare!) I do at least 5000 steps just chasing them about inside lol.0
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" a week with a sick kid, swimming lessons, school functions, etc., which throws everything for a loop." - I'd say that with young kids this is actually your NORM instead of things that throw you off. I believe in making a plan, but with flexibility and lots of "Plan B" options available.
It can all seem overwhelming so what I finally learned after years of struggling that it's best to get my diet and nutrition in order so that I don't have to rely on exercise and time-consuming workouts to lose weight and maintain. This takes a huge burden off. Sure, exercise is great for your health and helps relieve stress, but if you're so tired that your workouts are suffering then focus on your calorie intake. Make sure you are properly fueled, hydrated and rested and get your priorities in order so that you don't feel spread too thin.
Surprisingly, kids grow up fast. It won't be like this forever. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle requires constant evaluation and adjusting to accommodate for all of life's changes.
Seriously, THANK YOU for this!! Thinking of this chaos as the new norm makes sense, big eye opener. But you're right, it should be my norm.0
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