What were some "food rules" you had growing up? How does it affect you, today?

GirlonBliss
GirlonBliss Posts: 38 Member
edited December 2 in Health and Weight Loss
ie)
"Finish everything on your plate"
"No dessert unless you eat your vegetables"

For me, sweets were a no-no. I even remember my parents taking my Halloween candy to their offices to give to other people so it wouldn't stay in the house.

When I moved out of the house, I felt free and had a free-for-all with sweets. Sweets galore!

A friend of mine struggled with her weight because she grew up always being told to finish food on her plate. Since the portion sizes in America are huge when you dine out, she always felt like she overate and guilty if anything got left behind, even though she was stuffed. She wishes she wouldn't feel guilty because she'd probably eat a comfortable amount if that hadn't been ingrained in her.

What about you?
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Replies

  • Gallowmere1984
    Gallowmere1984 Posts: 6,626 Member
    "Clean your plate" is why I was 200 lbs. at ten years old.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    No rule. Could eat whatever I wanted and my parents let me buy whatever I wanted when I went out.

    It's a crapshoot, frankly. I mean, the 3 of us grew up in the same environment, my brother was never overweight, my sister has been overweight on and off, and I turned out obese. Really depends on activity etc.
  • lauraesh0384
    lauraesh0384 Posts: 463 Member
    "If it's on your plate, you have to finish it". I'm sure that contributed to my weight gain growing up. My step mom didn't believe in wasting food. We had to eat one last bite even if she made something we didn't like.
  • TonyB0588
    TonyB0588 Posts: 9,520 Member
    Must always drink something hot for breakfast - I still drink hot tea or coffee at the beginning of every day, unlike some people who use cold juice or nothing at all.
  • hannahsadler_tn
    hannahsadler_tn Posts: 77 Member
    My mother struggled (and still does) with her own food issues when I was growing up. There weren't really any strict rules enforced on my sister and me, but I always saw mom eating a big meal (later, I learned the only meal she ate for the day) and drinking a Diet Coke. She rarely cooked "real" food. It was mostly from cans, frozen meals, and boxes. I had a pretty skewed relationship with food from that, which I believe played a part in the eating disorder I developed from when I was 13-18. I didn't really learn what protein was until I started educating myself in my early 20s.

    I also believe that while my childhood experiences played a role in how I view food today, I have much greater control over what I choose to eat and how active I choose to be. I've learned my own habits (mostly good, some bad, which I why I'm here again) and I think they're much stronger than the rules/habits I learned when I was a child.
  • mysticatgal1
    mysticatgal1 Posts: 106 Member
    we had to eat a good portion or clear our plate but for me it was what was available. We didn't have a ton of money so mostly I ate mac & cheese, peanut butter, apples or hamburger helper so when other foods were available at friends house or my grandparents I would sneak sweets and other items or just overeat and it got worse as an adult with money of my own.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    Clean plate club. Not a problem when I was a kid and portion sizes were reasonable, but did become an issue when I started buying food at restaurants, etc.

    A good rule was the importance of vegetables and other whole foods. Our food was so whole Mom ground wheat berries into flour for making bread, lol. She gave that up when she went back to work.
    mootsie981 wrote: »
    When we would go to a restaurant, we were not allowed to order any soda or juice. Mom only let us order water, because it was free! Luckily that set me up for a great lifelong habit of preferring water over any other liquid. I rarely drink soda or juice.

    Water for us as kids as well. I never developed a soda or juice habit.
  • wagnerpe123
    wagnerpe123 Posts: 65 Member
    We were only allowed one drink with dinner (at home or at a restaurant). It came long before I was born; I think one of my older siblings would fill up on milk and not eat his or her food. I remember once when I was at a restaurant with a friend's family and the server asked my friend if she'd like another Coke and she said "yes" - I gasped audibly. A second drink at dinner?? Impossible!

    It hasn't affected me in the slightest as far as long term health - although I don't keep a jug of milk/pitcher of water on the table or suggest refills with my own family, and it does drive me crazy when my kids barely eat restaurant meals!
  • dmt4641
    dmt4641 Posts: 409 Member
    edited July 2016
    I don't remember any set rules but my mom didn't really cook. If she did it was from a can or box. I ate a lot of spaghettios and Kraft Mac and cheese. We got to eat sweets whenever we wanted. I remember my sister and I coming home from school and each eating a whole row of Oreos for "after school snack." I'm lucky I was in sports so was still skinny. I learned at an early age to cook some things for myself but they weren't healthy and pretty much didn't eat any veggies except from a can sometimes. I was a picky eater until sometime in college because I had really never tasted many foods. Now I love cooking fresh, real food for my family and I hope my kids grow up with a more diverse palate.

    The "rules" in my house for my kids are 1) to always try new foods a few times before deciding if it is something you like, 2) not really a rule but they know that eating until you are stuffed doesn't feel good so just eat until you are full, 3) dessert on the weekends only (Fri, Sat, Sun) but that is pretty flexible for special occasions, friends over and stuff. They know some foods are healthier than others and we try to eat healthy most of the time but eat fun foods sometimes too, we can't have pizza and donuts every single meal.


  • khhregister
    khhregister Posts: 229 Member
    edited July 2016
    What I picked up from my parents - mostly good, just a little bad.
    The good:
    - My parents grew up on farms, so they were used to FRESH food every day. So we went grocery shopping every single day after my mum got off work. Our freezer was empty except for ice cube trays. As a result, I developed a real eye for good meat and produce. We didn't eat fast food or anything from cans or packages, so I never developed a taste for those things.
    - What is normal for dinner is meat + 2 veg. My mum was a really excellent cook and I learned from her, so that makes me feel confident about cooking healthy meals from fresh basic ingredients. We cooked with olive oil and butter and never margarine. Whole milk in coffee, never creamer. Just basic, whole foods.
    - Water, tea, whole milk and coffee were my beverages. We had a lemon tree growing up and we'd make fresh lemonade with just a little sugar (like 1 teaspoon per tall glass). I find soda SHOCKINGLY sweet.

    The bad:
    - Both my parents grew up during the Depression. So I did internalize a lot of messages about being frugal and not wasting food. This didn't pose a problem for me while I was living at home with my parents. We never bought more than we needed and we always had reasonable portions. But as soon as I moved out for college, I found it hard to self-regulate. I'll buy a lot of pasta because it's on sale when I know it's too calorie-dense to base meals around. I find myself finishing off food I don't like or care about just because I've spent money on it. Oddly enough, I didn't start putting on weight until I turned 40. It's like I'm aging into bad habits.
    - My parents didn't know anything about how many calories a person needs in a day. We were just winging it. It wasn't until I was ~30 and went to a serious trainer that I ever sat down and figured out my daily caloric needs.
  • Gena575
    Gena575 Posts: 224 Member
    edited July 2016
    You can't eat fish with dairy. It becomes poison in your stomach. (zero effect...I only eat tuna from a can and I often mix cheese in it...still alive)

    Don't take more than you can eat. I often suffer from eyes bigger than stomach syndrome...but eat it all because Grandma might give me the look. Portioning with a scale is helping immensely!

    Dessert. We had a dessert of some sort with every meal, even breakfast. It is odd that even now I don't feel like I'm done eating without something sweet. I'm learning to use a bit of fruit or something like a single bite size chocolate to get that "ok, done eating now" feeling.

    Bread and butter. I grew up as a farm kid. Tables were PACKED with food because we fed hard working farm hands. We legit had an entire loaf of cheap white bread (placed nicely on a couple plates) on the table for every meal. Most meals it was gone. I'm picky pants and don't like "better for you" breads and wasting the calories on something that gives so little fullness is a choice I'm not making at this point. Still feels like something is missing at times though.

    Oddly, Grandma was never more than 10-15lbs overweight...to this day at 84 she's likely the same weight she was in 1982. She's one of those fidgety people...always fiddling and fussing and moving. I didn't get that gene, just her fabulous skin!
  • fitgirldc
    fitgirldc Posts: 55 Member
    edited July 2016
    I used to get in trouble for not eating all of my cereal. I would get nauseous when it got soggy. (anything soggy) So my mother told me I'd better figure out a way to eat it because she was tired of me wasting cereal.(we had corn flakes or Raisin Bran) So I created a mental race game of who can eat it the fastest. At 45, I have to catch myself and slow it down. Let's not mention the fact that I haven't eaten cereal most of my adult life! Oh..there is a picture of me as a toddler crying with milk all over my face. Apparently, I fell asleep in the cereal bowl! Thanks Mom!
  • CooCooPuff
    CooCooPuff Posts: 4,374 Member
    I was allowed to eat whatever I wanted and encouraged to eat as much as I could.

    The only rule was that I had to drink prune juice if I didn't "go" enough.
  • ashesfromfire
    ashesfromfire Posts: 867 Member
    I never realized it as a kid, but as an adult it's extremely clear that my mother has an ED, swinging between anorexia and bulimia. Growing up I had to ask permission for every single thing I ate or drank. Even when I was a teenager. I rememberher telling at me one evening (I was may 10 say the time) for drink a glass of skim milk, all red faced screaming, "YOU JUST DRANK AND ENTIRE CUP OF FAT RIGBT BEFORE BED!" a few years later, she walked I need on me having a cup of tea with a friend and she loudly asked if I out supag in mine, being honest I said yes I had added a spoonful of sugar to my tea, and she went ballistic, made me dump it out, yelled at me asking why I thought it would be okay to have that...all in front of my friend. All food was painted as bad for me, no matter what it was, if I was eating or drinking ever I was told it would make me fat, multiple times she threatened to put locks in the refrigerator and cabinets, not long before I moved away she made a rule that I could only eat if I went to her boyfriends house and he made me food. He is a terribly mean man and more than once prepafred food for everyone else, but none for me, even if I hadn't eaten all day. For a while I stopped eating all together, but when I finallu got better, my mom flat at told me I looked better when I didn't eat and should do that again. As an adult I really struggle to have a healthy relationship with food. I filpflop between intense guilt and apply heavy morals (good/bad) to foods, feeling happy when I'm hungry - to the opposite end of the spectrum where I tell myself eating is taking care of myself, but then I feast on anything and everything I can get my hands on. I struggle being honest about being hungry, and will tell people I'm not even if I'm starving. I don't know, I'm pretty messed up about it all. But trying really hard to build a healthy relationship with food.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    My mother also has an ED.
    She keeps her weight down by snacking on little carby things all day and lots of activity.
  • mzfrizz15
    mzfrizz15 Posts: 135 Member
    My mom never had any food rules, other than put away your leftovers properly. The bad thing I picked up from her was emotional eating. Feeling good? Celebrate with sweets! Feeling bad! Soothe it away with ice cream. Feeling bored? Chew on something. It's a hard habit to break, but I think I'm winning.
  • ItsyBitsy246
    ItsyBitsy246 Posts: 307 Member
    My parents did buy themselves treats like chocolate covered Oreos that we couldn't have, but other than that no rules about food really that I can remember. However because I always wolfed down my food my mom would always be scolding me to chew each mouthful 100 times to slow me up.
  • Bxqtie116
    Bxqtie116 Posts: 552 Member
    The only thing I could think of was I had to finish all the veggies on my plate. My mom cooked as there weren't that many fast food places. She took us to McDonald's once a year and that was only when we went shopping for school clothes. Maybe once a month we would have pizza or Chinese food.
  • bujiebuke
    bujiebuke Posts: 6 Member
    GirlonBliss wrote: »
    ie)
    "Finish everything on your plate"
    "No dessert unless you eat your vegetables"

    For me, sweets were a no-no. I even remember my parents taking my Halloween candy to their offices to give to other people so it wouldn't stay in the house.

    When I moved out of the house, I felt free and had a free-for-all with sweets. Sweets galore!

    A friend of mine struggled with her weight because she grew up always being told to finish food on her plate. Since the portion sizes in America are huge when you dine out, she always felt like she overate and guilty if anything got left behind, even though she was stuffed. She wishes she wouldn't feel guilty because she'd probably eat a comfortable amount if that hadn't been ingrained in her.

    What about you?

    "Eat more, eat more!". I've been fat ever since.
  • NikkiMichelleS
    NikkiMichelleS Posts: 897 Member
    Definitely also the "EAT MORE" and having a full plate.
    Being Hispanic, there was always food available. Visiting at a relatives home,youd be expected to eat, whether it was a freshly made buttered tortilla, quesadilla or tamales; if you were offered it, you should eat it.
    Also, Ma always cooked a "full" meal, meaning protein with 2-3 sides. Like pork chops with apple sauce, mac n chese, and canned veggies. Or tacos with all the fixings, beans and rice. Always a full plate of food!!
    So thats how I tend to cook. Usually prepare 2+ sides, which is actually excessive amounts of food!

    I didn't grow up overweight, the opposite. We were active, sporty, healthy kids. I gained weight after surgery a couple years ago, and I also love to.cook all kinds of foods (and a full plate!)
  • joans1976
    joans1976 Posts: 2,201 Member
    I hate milk. My mom, who is an excellent cook and wife, mother and human, would put the drinks and condiments out when she set the table. Problem was, she would set the table 30+ minutes before we actually ate, so the milk was warm. We couldn't leave the table until we drank that milk. I don't like the taste of milk and never have but I haven't had milk since I was a teenager. Not even on cereal. Thankfully, there are other ways to get my calcium in.

    On the plus side, we rarely ate out or ate things from boxes. Salad and fruit with every meal.

    I gained weight due to lack of exercise and my love of cheese, mayonnaise, pizza and salty snacks.

    By the way OP, this is a very interesting thread!
  • Snipsa
    Snipsa Posts: 172 Member
    Clean plate at our home as well.

    Very, very large portion sizes. We ate mostly healthy foods, especially at dinner. Ex. Dinner would be chicken, brocolli, carrots and rice. But the portion sizes would be massive. I could never understand why my friends ate soooo little when I had sleepovers at their places. Now looking back, I can freely admit it was not them eating too little, but us eating too much.

    Similarly, we would very rarely get money to buy snacks at school, but would get FOUR slices of bread with peanutbutter and jam to take with to eat during break times. And then eat another two to four slices of bread when we got home! I'm certain there were days I ate 10 slices of bread - if we had bacon and eggs for breakfast, instead of regular cereals.

    Never had sodas in the house as a kid. Mostly drank milk or juice. Unfortunately the soda habit did develop once I left the house...

    We had starch with all meals, I'm certain there were days my carbs were over 400 grams. It took a long time to learn that starch really isn't needed with every single meal...
  • GirlonBliss
    GirlonBliss Posts: 38 Member
    edited July 2016
    joans1976 wrote: »

    By the way OP, this is a very interesting thread!

    Thanks, joans1976! I agree - some people seemed to also have grown up with habits that had a positive effect!

    I talk about it with people (clients) because if you start tracking and counting and measuring before asking where some of your perceptions originated from, it can be really hard to understand how to break some cycles.

    If someone has been told growing up that they have to finish what is on their plate, then portion control can be pretty tough when there is this devilish voice in the back of your head saying "finish it or else you'll get in trouble", lol. Get rid of the voice = easy to hear your body :smiley:
  • CattOfTheGarage
    CattOfTheGarage Posts: 2,745 Member
    This is a very useful thread, as I'm raising an 8 year old and trying to manage the crazy balancing act that is feeding a kid and teaching her good eating habits. Lots of good info here.

    We didn't have any rules that I recall (apart from basic table manners), just the usual tired parents v. fussy kids battle. My parents both freely admit the compulsion to clean their plates has caused them to be overweight, and I have picked that up as well, but it wasn't a rule as such. They are both fairly successfully fighting the impulse and I am working on it too, though I have problems in restaurants as I can't control the portions and they are always too big, and I hate leaving food uneaten (I am finally learning the wonder of the doggy bag - it's not something that gets offered here, you have to ask for it).

    Most of my problems are down to emotional eating due to being a very up-and-down person and having a very keen sense of taste, meaning food is like crack to me. That's more of an influence than childhood rules.
  • Whitezombiegirl
    Whitezombiegirl Posts: 1,042 Member
    RodaRose wrote: »
    My mother also has an ED.
    She keeps her weight down by snacking on little carby things all day and lots of activity.

    This was my mum too. Fat was banned and i still find it hard to eat fatty or greasy things - the feeling of it in my mouth grosses me out. I was brought up counting calories and home cooking.

    High calorie foods were banned
    Second helpings were banned
    Sodas were bannned

    And i was constantly asked if i should be eating that. As a teen i developed a habit of eating sweets in secret whenever i fell out with mum as a way to spite her. I only just stopped this habit when she died.

    I was underweight but told i had a protruding tummy and a big round bum. I was nagged about my posture all the time.

    She was an amazing and loving woman who thought she was doing the best for her family and dealing with her own demons. Yet for so many things she reall messed me up. This is one reason i dont want children of my own.
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