What were some "food rules" you had growing up? How does it affect you, today?

We did not really snack between meals, and drinking anything other than water between meals was verboten! We only had juice/milk/whatever during meals. I kinda went buck wild drinking tons of juice and soda for a while once I was on my own, but now I rarely drink anything but water.

I also had the "clear your plate" rule. We all know what THAT does.

- You HAD to finish what was on your plate (I was a fussy eater so would still be at the table when everyone else had left. Sometimes I'd ask for a tissue and then spit the food into it while pretending to blow my nose!)
- Couldn't eat crisps two days in a row
- You had to have a glass of milk every dinner time (which I HATED! Now I wont touch the stuff!)
- Sunday tea-time you were allowed 3 cakes each
- We had pudding EVERY DAY (mostly homemade but if not would always have yoghurts or icecream available)
- After you'd eaten pudding you were allowed a chocolate bar
- You could snack after school but it was made clear that you HAD TO FINISH YOUR DINNER!

I do feel that the 'clear your plate' rule is the reason i struggle so much now. It's especially hard when I visit home and am still expceted to eat everything (but mummmm my calories won't allow it!) Also, I've never quite got out of the habit of finishing a meal with something sweet.

My mother always wanted us to know where our food came from, to have respect for our meals. We were VERY poor – and our food came by way of bulk grains in bins from our church, food pantry, and my mom working for food payment instead of monetary payment in people’s farms and orchards. When she’d work in the fields, she’d bring my brother and I with her. We’d come home with bushels of apples, pears, berries, and vegetables that she’d go home and can in various forms, dehydrate for snacks, make sauces from, and leave enough fresh to last us for a while. She’d get buckets of wheat berries from church donations and crack her own wheat, which she would make bread and hot cereals from for us. We knew if we didn’t want the meal prepared for us, we wouldn’t get another option, but our food was always fresh, even if sometimes portions were small. Often times mom and dad “weren’t hungry” when it was getting close to payday and they were stretching our food supply. We never had “extras” like storebought chips or cookies, but my mom was an amazing baker and we did get to indulge in cupcakes and cookies every so often. I had my first piece of storebought bread when I went to college and couldn’t swallow it – I now realize how spoiled I may have actually been eating real food my whole life! Restaurants were a huge treat, and I still look at eating out that way now. I love cooking, as my mom always wanted my brother and me in the kitchen with her, and I learned my entire childhood. I will eat packaged foods on occasion, but I see how expensive they are for something that really doesn’t taste too great. I think my childhood food rules of knowing where your food comes from and how it’s prepared had put me on a pretty good track as far as nutrition goes.

I remember being told to eat everything on my plate as a child. However, it was less a matter of "even if you're full" and much more a matter of, "Heather, you ate all your meat. Eat your vegetables and potatoes too!" I can't really fault my parents for wanting me to have a properly balanced diet.

Other rules my parents had: Ask before you take a snack from the cupboard (Usually, when I asked for a cookie/crackers/drink/etc. the answer was, "Knock yourself out." The only time this was different was when it got close to dinnertime. Then it became, "Can you eat that and still finish dinner?")

I was also told not to take more than I thought I'd eat. Leave some for other people. At restaurants, my parents never expected me to clean the plate. When I slowed down, they'd ask if I was full and we'd box up the rest to eat another time. Dessert was for special occasions, so they never held it out as a reward for having eating everything/anything.

My mother also instilled in us proper portion control. She'd give us one sandwich at lunch with a little baggie of chips (about 1 cup) and two cookies. Most cookies, if you read the package, the portion size is two. Dinner was the same: meat was about 3 ounces. Potatoes were a 1 cup. Then, we were pushed to "fill up on vegetables".

See... I don't blame my parents food rules for my becoming overweight. I can see why some of the rule parents give you could influence you that way. However, I became overweight because I wasn't active enough to make up for the "junk" that I ate.

No soda products except for special occasions or celebrations. Was a healthier concept and don't miss it. Pretty much do the same for my child and out to eat I usually get water with lemon.
Was told to take the servings of what you will eat. You can always have 2nd's if you finish but use to say leave a little for the Angels. To date, I've noticed I usually finish what I take. Hate to think the Angel's might not eat on occasion - lmao.
We sit and eat together as a family. Love that we do this!

I also forgot to answer the second part. On the whole I think my family's rules were good ones and had nothing to do with why I got fat later. In particular, I am glad that I learned to like vegetables, and was expected to eat balanced meals and learned to cook a bit (although I really learned later as an adult it wasn't intimidating or anything because I'd had some exposure and had some meals down).

Desserts and fizzy drinks were for special occasions only. My parents are vegetarians and super healthy eaters, but unfortunately not great cooks. I hated the meals they gave me and would fill up on bread and butter instead, and the lack of sweet treats meant I would gorge myself on cakes and sweets whenever I could get my hands on them.
I had a very confused attitude towards food because I was convinced that all vegetables were disgusting and in high school I'd spend my dinner money on chocolate every day just because I finally had the freedom to eat what I wanted. It took me years to learn moderation and I'm still not quite there.

lemurcat12 wrote: »

No dessert unless you eat your vegetables/meat. Don't spoil your dinner with snacking (a small after school snack was okay). Fast food/pizza/going out is for special occasions. If you don't want to eat what mom makes, make your own meal, I'm not catering to you. Eat dinner with the family (unless I had a dinner date or plans with friends on a weekend).

Lots of these - though our mother was almost always willing to cater if there was time and energy for it.

Also: don't swim after eating for at least an hour.

Weekend breakfasts could take a very long time while we all gathered at the table and talked - lots of times about medieval Spanish history.

Well-composed meal consists of a meat, a vegetable and a starch. I had an internal rule about this: eat meat first, then veggies, then starch.

My father always insisted on eating slowly and "shewing" your food nicely.

No pet food for people; no people food for pets.

No reading at the table when others are there too (read away when on your own!).

Always have food in the house: you never know when company will come, and you *must* offer food to company.

Try everything - how do you know you don't like it unless you try it?

On your birthday you get to choose whatever you want for dinner.

I think these were pretty much positive reinforcements.

I'm from a poor Midwest family so my mom did her best to keep us healthy but she could only do so much. I remember "a bite to be polite" was a big one and my mom always tried to have meat with a veggie (but always canned veggies ugh). My mom also only took us to get fast food maybe once a month and pizza was a once or twice a month thing too (dad was a different story though lol)

However we were allowed to have seconds which is what I think contributed to my weight gain... but my brother was always skinny and ate like a madman so I really don't know.

OHHHh...and the dreaded pop habit. We *always* had pop in the house. Always...it's been so hard to cut that habit but I have managed to. I almost never have pop at my place unless my roomie buys some but my brother is always STOCKED when I come home lol.

In fact when I came home when our mom passed away a couple weeks ago (it was the first time he has seen me since losing weight -- he was all confused on what to feed me. He's like " I know what you like -- but I don't know what you like now" haha

When I was a young child, we lived with my great grandmother who lived through the Great Depression. She also raised my dad. It was expected to finish all the food, to the point where everyone would take pieces of bread at the end of the meal and wipe the plates clean. It's really sad to think where her thought processing came from. My dad still does the bread thing and always encouraged us to finish meals, but also stressed the importance of only taking as much as you need. So even today when I'm out at a buffet or something, I take smaller portions that I know I can eat and won't waste. I HATE wasting food!!!

newmeadow wrote: »

So for those of you who had to sit at the table until you finished everything on your plate - did you ever sit there until, like, 1 a.m. so your mother had to finally give in and let you go to bed? Like Dawn Weiner in Welcome to the Dollhouse?

I guess I wasn't that stubborn. I would whine and cry and beg for it to be reheated (which always happened), but once everyone had left, I would finish eating in a few minutes. I hated being alone more than I hated the mashed potatoes or whatever vegetable (spinich or peas, typically) were giving me grief. Like I said above: with me, it wasn't a matter of me being full and not being able to eat. It was a matter of, "Mashed potatoes are yuck." (Which they are, when they get to be ice cold, because you've put them off until the end.) For the record, I like mashed potatoes now, so I don't have the, "My parents forced me to eat X and now I can't stand it." Also... when I really couldn't tolerate something (winter squash, yams/sweet potatoes), my parents didn't make me eat it. They offered alternatives. "You don't like squash or sweet potatoes, eat some mashed potatoes and corn instead."

ejbronte wrote: »

lemurcat12 wrote: »

No dessert unless you eat your vegetables/meat. Don't spoil your dinner with snacking (a small after school snack was okay). Fast food/pizza/going out is for special occasions. If you don't want to eat what mom makes, make your own meal, I'm not catering to you. Eat dinner with the family (unless I had a dinner date or plans with friends on a weekend).

Lots of these - though our mother was almost always willing to cater if there was time and energy for it.

Also: don't swim after eating for at least an hour.

Weekend breakfasts could take a very long time while we all gathered at the table and talked - lots of times about medieval Spanish history.

Well-composed meal consists of a meat, a vegetable and a starch. I had an internal rule about this: eat meat first, then veggies, then starch.

My father always insisted on eating slowly and "shewing" your food nicely.

No pet food for people; no people food for pets.

No reading at the table when others are there too (read away when on your own!).

Always have food in the house: you never know when company will come, and you *must* offer food to company.

Try everything - how do you know you don't like it unless you try it?

On your birthday you get to choose whatever you want for dinner.

I think these were pretty much positive reinforcements.

We had lots of these additional ones too: swimming, make up of the meal (not a rule, but that's what it was -- I always saved my favorite part for last -- usually ate the veggies first, but not if they involved some special preparation with cheese, heh), the reading one (I also read when eating on my own, can't do it now), the company, the trying things. We also were required to eat what we were offered if at someone else's house (for a meal, at least). I remember choking down some things I hated and never would have been forced to eat at home. I also have this weird hatred of cold cereal, and recall that being the one thing I hated about slumber parties or staying the night at a friend's, since EVERYONE but us seemed to love cold cereal and eat it for breakfast.

The only one that was bad for me was my mom's insistence on my drinking a glass of milk, which I have always hated and do to this day. I could stand it if it was skim and ice-cold and I downed it quickly (sometimes I plugged my nose so I couldn't taste it) but the absolute second she relented on that when I was a teenager I stopped drinking it and haven't since. Lots of tears and tantrums in my childhood over milk but for some reason it just makes me gaggy although I'm not a picky eater at all.

Other than that my parents were really reasonable. Appropriate portions, vegetables, not a lot of junk in the house, pizza and fast food and soda only infrequently. I never had a weight issue until I went to university and started bartending and piled on 30 lbs from eating and drinking like crap and never sleeping and all that. Nobody forced me to finish stuff (except the milk), "bad" food wasn't banned, and my mom baked almost every day but I ate it only moderately or sometimes not at all.

Because of my IBS (irritated bowel syndrom) my childhood was full of "don't eat"s. Don't eat white bread, cornflakes, skimmed milk, candy, fat food and so on.... So when I moved away from home I ate all the forbidden food - resulting in wheightgaining and stomachache. So I quickly stopped again, but not after gaining approx 10 pounds. Except for the fat - it helps my IBS, but I have to be aware of the calories.
I have allways loves vegetables especially raw, so that was never an issue.
My biggest problem however is that I eat with my emotions, both when I'm sad, happy, stressed, tired and bored. And any food will do, and eating more than I burn results in owerwheight.

Clean your plate...but my parents always gave us plates with reasonable portions appropriate for our ages and what we were doing. Things like sodas or juice or whatever were reserved mostly for special occasions and outings...not part of daily life. We didn't eat out all that often...it was usually a special thing when we did and it felt special...we just didn't have the money to eat out regularly. We ate desert usually only on Friday or Saturday nights. Sunday lunch was usually a feast of some kind after church.