How do I develop thicker skin

? Are you speaking of skin, you know, the stuff on the outside of your body and hair grows from it, or are you speaking of feelings, as the stuff that makes you cry when people insult you?

This depends upon what your issue is, in relation to: 1 having people intentionally/unintentionally being cruel to you or 2 you perceiving, without actually knowing; that people're judging you negatively.

If it's the 1st & you're certain it's intentional, remove the toxic person/people; from your life permanently. If you don't believe it's intentional, let the person/people know how you feel & make it clear that the behavior'll result in you alienating them, if it continues.

If it's the 2nd it's for the most part unrealistic because too many people exist, for each of us to be noticed by strangers; that much.

The only part of me that knows how to grow thicker skin is my heels

Mother's family females tend toward being sharp with their words, but at the same time, very sensitive toward others, and they tend to carry their sensitivity out to what I see as extremes. (At the same time, the men are absolute sweethearts.) One aunt has felt legitimately so hurt by family members that she has closed herself off, having nothing to do with me, for example, simply because my presence reminds her of my mother. Her older sister has closed herself off from other family members but not from me, although I am a real aggravation to her because of my personal beliefs and politics.

I write all this because my experience is that people don't act like this simply because they're obnoxious. There are reasons. If you have the heart to do so, and these people are important to you in some way, you might try to find out what is behind their actions.

There was a woman in my childhood church who would slap children around, including me. She was even caught holding a pillow over the face of a crying baby in the church nursery. As a mother, I was curious about what made her this way, so my children and I had lunch with her in a public place , after she attempted to slap my face for taking (what I later learned was) the last piece of watermelon . There, I learned what abuses she'd gone through. These things did not give her any excuse for her behavior, but at least, I understood her better.

If you're a Pisces, you're doomed. We are really emotional creatures. I'm wildly sensitive, so hurting is regular, even if it's painful just the same. I think my sensitivity stems from principle--the how/why could/would you do/say that? Nothing to really do but lick your wounds and keep swimming..

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Get yourself out of your comfort zone more often. Do things that make you uncomfortable. Take chances. The more we do things like that the more comfortable we get in all sorts of environments and can find ourselves doing things or being comfortable in situations we would never have imagined we could handle.

And take an honest inventory of yourself - there are people out there that will immediately pick up on your insecurities and will use them to try to manipulate you or hurt your feelings. If you have an honest reckoning of yourself, including both your faults and your strengths, and can accept your flaws, then what can someone do or say to really hurt you? Insults or slights usually hurt when they have an element of truth in them. Baseless insults are easy to brush off.

lulufit5 wrote: »

Coffeebeenz wrote: »

Villae81 wrote: »

Coffeebeenz wrote: »

If you're a Pisces, you're doomed. We are really emotional creatures. I'm wildly sensitive, so hurting is regular, even if it's painful just the same. I think my sensitivity stems from principle--the how/why could/would you do/say that? Nothing to really do but lick your wounds and keep swimming..

I'm a Pisces with no feelings i must be a shark piscean

I call bullish!t... If I tell you to insert a semicolon after feelings and capitalize your I, you'll most likely be reduced to a puddle of tears (and haven't you heard the ocean is salty as a result of the tears of thousands of misunderstood sharks? Shark have feelings too. Lol)

The swearing and confrontational manner of your statement made me a bit upset, but I repeated to myself....you're good enough, you're smart enough, and gosh darn it...people like you. Just like Stuart smalley said to do years ago....and now I feel better.

I was just swearing because I have a sweary-type mouth. And I didn't mean to be confrontational; I was just just playing. I'm always acting up. Sorry *hands you an apology cupcake, kicks dirt, walks off with my oversensitive self*

Coffeebeenz wrote: »

If you're a Pisces, you're doomed. We are really emotional creatures. I'm wildly sensitive, so hurting is regular, even if it's painful just the same. I think my sensitivity stems from principle--the how/why could/would you do/say that? Nothing to really do but lick your wounds and keep swimming..

I'm a Pisces and I could give 2 Fs what people say or think about me. As someone mentioned if you are confident and comfortable in you skin then what people say won't faze you. I don't give people power over my life especially toxic people who are just miserable and like to hurt people to build themselves up.

It's really hard to hear people insulting you. I never was a victim of bullying, but to me it seems like you just need to take a step back and ask yourself if the opinion of this person is important. Does it matter in the long run whether or not someone calls me a derogatory word and shames me for my body or appearance? I try to focus my mind on the positive side of things - like when my friends tell me they love spending time with me or someone tells me they like my outfit or my hair today. Nice comments from nice people. I think the best way is to keep the kindness closer to the front of our mind and push the negativity away as much as possible.

From my perspective it depends. I always ask myself if what I am hearing is upsetting me because it is mean/hateful or if it is true. If it is true, or there is truth to it, I have to look at if the person is using that truth to show me something that I can do better (constructive criticism) or break me down. If it is the latter I choose not to engage in the conversation and move on taking note of what they said to show them that I am better than that. If it is constructive in nature I ask questions to gain knowledge. This person obviously knows something and cares otherwise they wouldn't say anything.

In the end it comes down to what you are going to do with it, let it hurt, by all means, it is what you do with that hurt that determines if you are resilient or not. Take that hurt and become more disciplined in your eating habits, find new workout goals, set new goals for yourself beyond this and go big. Just...move on. The thing I have personally found is that those that mean the most stay in your life as you grow, those that are there to hold you in place won't grow with you.

Perfect example of what I am talking about is 24 years ago when I left for the Army my older brother that I looked up to the most looked me dead in the eye and told me I'd "never *kitten* make it in the Army". Not only did I have a successful career, but I became a drill sergeant, then moved on to get my Ranger tab and to fill ranks up to first sergeant in the 75th Ranger Regiment and its subordinate battalions. Heck, I even got to teach at a university and grow Army leaders! All the while using his words to fuel every new goal I met. Once I made it to the 75th Ranger Regiment I set goals to start running ultras and ran in events up to 100 miles successfully. I also ran events with him. I never told him or reminded him of what he said until the day of my retirement ceremony when I thanked him for giving me the one phrase that instilled more drive in me than anyone or thing could have. He looked shocked and apologetic, in fact, he did apologize. He didn't even remember saying it. But the life that phrase allowed me to create is wonderful, and I thank him for giving it to me. It is precious, and today I enjoy working hard because it has become my life and he and I can share it in racing and adventure events all over. I love him dearly for it because at that time I was frail, I was weak, and he didn't know how to tell me or have time to properly prepare me for what was to come.

Life is continual and relentless forward motion. When you have a setback, no matter the kind, the only thing you need to do is focus on your next step.