Life is a bit tough right now
01S28D86M
Posts: 8 Member
Brand new to the fray, and hoping this can help turn things around. I am over 400 pounds, have a spouse who doesn't support me, even though she is on the same journey for being larger, feel like my marriage is non existent and might be nearing its end, and have completely stopped believing in myself. So here I am, stabbing away towards perfection.
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Replies
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Don't "stab" away at "perfection".
Do better, be the best you can, work on your relationship a little. Take everything one day at a time.6 -
Yep, there's no perfection.
Work on creating a calorie deficit, being consistent and doing a bit of exercise.1 -
Put the past out of mind, start fresh one day at a time one pound at a time one positive thought and so on. You can go as far as you want! You are your only road block! Hoping you make it happen!!
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You're here and that is what counts. Everyone have to start somewhere. Good luck on your journey. Don't give up.1
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I know from experience that hearing some of this super positive stuff when you're down can be like..."oh shut the F up", but the truth is there is nothing you can do about your weight now but lose it. There is nothing you can do about your relationship except try to fix it, or not.
Check out the Success Forum.5 -
You'll get there. My husband mocks things I love to do and keeps telling me I shouldn't workout, etc. so I don't get too hot for him.
Just do it for you, let your spouse do and say what she will.
And believe in yourself, set super small goals. Logging food for a few days then maybe losing a couple of pounds. Attainable goals mean you meet them faster and it's way more encouraging than waiting for that "perfection"2 -
Change your attitude. None of us who've actually lost a little or a lot of weight or any of us who have maintained lost weight for years will claim to have reached 'perfection.' Your case ought to be easy. Maintaining your present weight over 400 lb requires you to spend your waking hours eating and defecating. Such an existence, not. Here is a step-by-step guide to get you on the weight loss journey. 1. Use the food diary to log your food.
Commentary on (1): All of your food. Every calorie. Every calorie of fruit, vegetable (those nasty little green things) candy, oil, snacks that come in plastic bags, meats that come in plastic bags and you don't even have to cook them, everything that comes in liquid form and helps you briefly forget your imaginary troubles. Be honest with yourself. Be truthful with yourself.
There is no step 2. You'll experience the magic happening in your own thoughts after you begin to be truthful to yourself.1 -
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OK, there is a few things you need to do.
Take accountability. No one else poured the food down your throat. Log everything....everything, if you don't you are only cheating yourself.
Do it for yourself. Believe me I heard this nugget for years and I never got it until recently. There was always an occasion or some else to please as the reason to diet, but it doesn't work.....you need to do it for you to live and enjoy life for yourself.
Break it down to little goals, make little changes even one change a week to start, it all helps.
Explore why you are the size you are. For me, I was in a toxic and dangerous relationship. I was trapped and although I have always been big, I turned to food as it was one if the only things I had control over. I got out of that relationship three years ago, but I was traumatised and its only now I feel strong enough to tackle my weight. I was definitely hiding behind my weight, but I realise that it's the weight that contributed to me losing my confidence and self belief. Well...I'm taking it back. I feel so motivated now. So to finish, I'm not there yet but this time I know I'm going to give it my all. I have no one cheering for me at the sidelines, but I have myself and my goals. I want to see my child grow up, I want to live a happy and content life and being obese is not going to work anymore. Keep your head up, keep going, everyday is an achievement.3 -
Weight loss like relationships are hard work and you have to stick with it and work on it if you want to be successful. Do not listen to the negative things other people say. You can do it, one step at a time.0
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Here are some helpful threads:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1296011/calorie-counting-101/p1
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1234699/logging-accurately-step-by-step-guide/p10 -
It's tough to get much done when you feel depressed. However, being here you are on the right track. If your wife is also overweight taking this healthier journey together might be a way to heal your marriage while you both heal your bodies. Instead of blaming her, recruit her. Make her dinner so you can control what you're eating. Do the food shopping so healthy things are in the house. Ask her to accompany you on a walk after dinner.
Even if she won't get on bored do those things for yourself. As you improve, she may seek to emulate you if you don't badger her & press. I actually got my husband to take a few walks we me since I started this & yesterday we even played tennis. He's become more supportive then I ever imagined.1 -
Try to stay positive! Work on yourself and things might change in your relationship. Everything happens for a reason.
You should watch "extreme weight loss" one of my favorite shows and so inspiring. Lots of episodes on YouTube.
Good luck0 -
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You are off to a good start. I don't have the support I would like at home either. I have found this app to be very helpful. Everyone I have asked questions to have been nice and more than willing to answer. I would never have had the courage to walk up and ask, so this has been the best thing for me. I have decided that now is the time I need to take to work on myself and be the best me I can be. What happens during and after I will deal with, as long as I get myself where I need to be. Good luck, you can do this, you will do this.0
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JeromeBarry1 wrote: »Change your attitude. None of us who've actually lost a little or a lot of weight or any of us who have maintained lost weight for years will claim to have reached 'perfection.' Your case ought to be easy. Maintaining your present weight over 400 lb requires you to spend your waking hours eating and defecating. Such an existence, not. Here is a step-by-step guide to get you on the weight loss journey. 1. Use the food diary to log your food.
Commentary on (1): All of your food. Every calorie. Every calorie of fruit, vegetable (those nasty little green things) candy, oil, snacks that come in plastic bags, meats that come in plastic bags and you don't even have to cook them, everything that comes in liquid form and helps you briefly forget your imaginary troubles. Be honest with yourself. Be truthful with yourself.
There is no step 2. You'll experience the magic happening in your own thoughts after you begin to be truthful to yourself.
One step at a time, this is excellent advice!
Just remember, every step you take is more than the couch potato!!! Even if it's 2 trips down the hall or to the end of your driveway
Be the BEST new you,you can be!0
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