My Super Obese life at 500lbs - Taking my life back 1 day at a time!
LovelessFool
Posts: 109 Member
Not sure exactly how to start this. It was hard enough to just say "Super Obese" but here goes...I'm normally a pretty private person and don't say much to anyone about my life. I'm a 42 year old male who was 511lbs 30 days ago, now I'm at 476 weighed Monday and was surprised by the number...typically avoid the scale being this size or maybe it's the scale avoiding me. Lol.
I've been a little heavy most of my life 230lbs out of High School at 6'1 and boy I thought I was fat then, but now at more than 2x that weight..talk about heavy...I don't ever remember ordering a Siamese twin! I'm not really here to host a pity party but something about putting words to "virtual paper" I guess can be therapeutic or so they say. Who is the "They" remains to me seen, but it's what I've heard. Heh. So I thought why not...why not post something...My career is all out IT / Computers / Technology so why not use some of that to help.
Life being this big is pretty much what you would think. It sucks. Getting in an out of cars, getting up from a sitting position, taking baths/showers, walking 100 feet and feeling like you just did a 5k. Inheriting the name "bubba, big un', or other lovely acceptable public fat names one is called by friends without really meaning harm" Need I say more.
I have a huge journey ahead of me and being as private as I am I don't let a lot of people in. So I figured maybe I could talk to some here. I've seen others have amazing journeys and with the support of others and letting people in who understand what it is to be obese in the world today might just do some good for me. I consider myself to be a thinker, someone who can hold a good conversation, and despite how big I am today I do learn from my mistakes...even if it takes some time.
My goal is to be comfortable in my own skin, to not hurt all the time because of the massive amount of weight I have to deal with. I want to get a great nights sleep. I want to enjoy vacations and not dread them due to the "am I too fat" to do things. I want to feel like me again. I hit a wall and was so sick to my stomach I let me get this big. Not caring what, when, or how much I ate or how much I exercised made me this way, but that stopped 30 days ago. I made the decision to get my life back, to get me back, to take a stand...me vs food and say NOT TODAY FOOD. I am the warrior who will slay the Sloppy Joe Dragon...ok ok so maybe that's going to far..but I want me back and I hope this wasn't too long or too boring for anyone to read. I hope to make many friends here and to share anything I can and to learn from others where they can offer helpful advice. I've taken the first step to get out of this fat shell that's trapped me inside for far to long. Thanks for taking the time to listen to me ramble and good luck to all those who fight this battle each day.
Oh and I figured I would upload a photo of what I once looked like many years ago to help me keep motivated to really do this!
Thanks,
Joker
I've been a little heavy most of my life 230lbs out of High School at 6'1 and boy I thought I was fat then, but now at more than 2x that weight..talk about heavy...I don't ever remember ordering a Siamese twin! I'm not really here to host a pity party but something about putting words to "virtual paper" I guess can be therapeutic or so they say. Who is the "They" remains to me seen, but it's what I've heard. Heh. So I thought why not...why not post something...My career is all out IT / Computers / Technology so why not use some of that to help.
Life being this big is pretty much what you would think. It sucks. Getting in an out of cars, getting up from a sitting position, taking baths/showers, walking 100 feet and feeling like you just did a 5k. Inheriting the name "bubba, big un', or other lovely acceptable public fat names one is called by friends without really meaning harm" Need I say more.
I have a huge journey ahead of me and being as private as I am I don't let a lot of people in. So I figured maybe I could talk to some here. I've seen others have amazing journeys and with the support of others and letting people in who understand what it is to be obese in the world today might just do some good for me. I consider myself to be a thinker, someone who can hold a good conversation, and despite how big I am today I do learn from my mistakes...even if it takes some time.
My goal is to be comfortable in my own skin, to not hurt all the time because of the massive amount of weight I have to deal with. I want to get a great nights sleep. I want to enjoy vacations and not dread them due to the "am I too fat" to do things. I want to feel like me again. I hit a wall and was so sick to my stomach I let me get this big. Not caring what, when, or how much I ate or how much I exercised made me this way, but that stopped 30 days ago. I made the decision to get my life back, to get me back, to take a stand...me vs food and say NOT TODAY FOOD. I am the warrior who will slay the Sloppy Joe Dragon...ok ok so maybe that's going to far..but I want me back and I hope this wasn't too long or too boring for anyone to read. I hope to make many friends here and to share anything I can and to learn from others where they can offer helpful advice. I've taken the first step to get out of this fat shell that's trapped me inside for far to long. Thanks for taking the time to listen to me ramble and good luck to all those who fight this battle each day.
Oh and I figured I would upload a photo of what I once looked like many years ago to help me keep motivated to really do this!
Thanks,
Joker
57
Replies
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Good luck and may you have great success on your journey ! You have taken the first step by helping yourself, for you can't help those who won't help themselves.0
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Thanks TWM. It's taken me a long time to realize that obvious fact in life...but I'm taking back my life one day at a time.5
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you can do it, and most people are here to offer support any way we can. this journey kind of sucks, but when we're here and healthy in 25 years, it'll be worth it!0
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@cariduttry Amen to that. Before thinking I would live another 25 years really didn't seem feasible...I kind of just gave up and figured If I make it to 45 I'm probably lucky...I not sure what switch went off but it did and now I want those 25 years and heck if this fat suit is gonna rob me of them.4
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You can do this! MFP offers a really great support network to help us all achieve our individual health/weight/fitness goals. Welcome to a great club and good luck on your journey.0
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Good luck. There are plenty that were in your boat and through hard work and determination changed their lives. You can do it too.0
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Thanks Karen and Jeff. I'm looking forward to the Journey...It's bound to be a long one but I'm here to fight it every day.1
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You can do this!!! Keep a positive attitude and keep striving every day and you'll reach your goals!0
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Best of luck to you, and congrats on your weight loss so far due to your hard work. I'm really happy for you that something "clicked." I remember when that happened to me and it's such a great feeling. Remember to have goals that aren't scale/number related, because sometimes we need those non weight related victories to get us through when the scale stops moving.0
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I speak pretty real about things. I'm not always the cheerleader of the group but I've been told I'm an optimist. I know there will be those days that will just totally destroy me and have me not wanting to get out of bed but getting involved like this I think will help. I've never done it before..reached out to others or been a part of groups or had positive online friends to help encourage not discourage me so this is all new. I probably will kick myself for not doing this earlier. I've tried may diets, and I've tried to get my weight down many times before and I've had some luck...I was once at 311lbs when I was 30...boy I wish I could start at that point again...but I am where I am now and I've made a promise to myself I never want to go back.4
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You are an inspiration! You got this!!2
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Wish you good progress and perseverance in your journey! Since you're sharing, what are you doing? What is your end goal weight/body composition? Losing over a pound a day for a month is impressive. Don't let anyone who's not your doctor try to tell you you're dropping too fast. The "two pounds max per week" rule was never meant for those suffering morbid obesity.
At the same time, be careful not to eat less than your body actually needs to function. In a case like yours, your calorie target likely should be no less than what it would take to maintain your goal weight.1 -
Also wanted to say thanks for the friend requests I'm sure I'll need all the help I can get..lol..so far it's been a low carb life for me and it's working..I'm not super nuts about doing 0 carbs but I would say I easily cut them in half and that's done wonders for me so far.4
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I'm you. Quite a bit lighter and a wee bit older.
Turned 50 in March and tipped the scales at 239lbs. I was wondering how much bigger I was going to be before I had trouble wiping my bottom. Seriously.
Been doing this for over 90 days, down 24lbs.
I take it one day at a time. Focusing on changes I can sustain for life to avoid burning myself out.
Remember a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.1 -
Good for you!! I loved reading about your journey...1
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You've got this. Have faith in yourself and take it one day/hour/minute at a time
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It's going to be a long road, but one definitely worth taking. Good luck to you. I'm sending a friend request, hopefully you'll build a wonderful support system.1
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@MarkusDarwath Really I just started with counting calories and restricting them...that helped and has helped some in the past but really I've done tons of reading about carbs and how our bodies process them. I don't think I could really ever do 0 carb or even super low carb but that's just me. I took what My Fitness pal said for goals and I lowered them. I'm watching carbs more now than calories as honestly I've felt so much better and had much more energy than just counting the calories. I want to feel better more than I want to look better, and so far doing that has worked. My doc really is clueless...I mean sure for a sore throat they are great but when I hear "eat better, eat less fat, less this or that..and then out come next patient in line" it really doesn't do much for you. I also started cooking more real food...staying more away from processed crap if I can..replacing things I once craved with more healthy things that make more sense to me. There is soooooooo much stuff out there about diets, food, weight loss, etc...and they can't all be right so I take a mix of what makes "sense" to me and try to do it...if it works then I stick to it. My general rule of thumb is if it makes me feel better it's normally a good thing...not feel better in a warm yummy donut kind of way but feel better in a get your butt off the couch and take a walk or organize the crap in the garage kind of way.7
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Not boring, at all!!! Take your life back...you deserve it. I can't wait to read about your success.2
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@precious_cargo Thank you and already it's been more than I could have asked. So many kind and thoughtful people here. I've never been this intraverted person who is shy about himself or anything I do but once I passed that 500 mark I just kind of shut down...forgot who I was...and gave up a little...then one day I was like I won't make it to 45 and I accepted that...and one day I couldn't believe I accepted that...never in my life would I have accepted someone telling me I'm dead in 3 years...but here I was being "ok" with this avalanche of fat that was destroying me and my life and I was "ok" with it...what am I crazy! Then something in me...I can't say what...why..or how but it did...it "clicked" I want to live, and I wasn't going to take no for an answer...I told myself then and I tell myself now that can't be me...I'm not a quitter and I'm certainly not going to give up on life and let fat suffocate me until I can't take anymore. This past 30 or so pounds has made a huge improvement in how I feel, I don't really see the loss yet because I have so much to lose but I'm not focused on numbers or seeing results...I'm about feeling results and so far I'm feeling pretty good!5
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@sparklyglitterbomb that's all I can do...I like the addition of hour and minute because sometimes a day can seem overwhelming. Thanks for the encouragement. I'm sure I'm gonna need it when those "Krispy Kreme" days come a callin'
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Great job! Not boring at all! I am right there, now. Your story has just made me even more excited to do what I have set out to accomplish. Not to be skinny but rather healthy! Thanks for your honesty and your humor. I, for one, have been touched by your words, your struggle and your determination to do this!! 1
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@mamawrain Thanks for the encouragement! If you ever need a laugh then I'm that guy...well most days I am. I warn you though I can be a bit of a nerd, being in IT and all that I know how the Geek Speak and all that jazz. Each day I wake up I've been practicing on my first thoughts of the day are about how I will succeed. What can I do better today than what I did yesterday. It might be just walking to the mailbox a little quicker, or turning off the boob tube and skipping an episode of "whatever it is I don't think I can live without watching" to do some more reading about being healthy or maybe a new recipe I can try to ruin on the stove. I soooo need to learn following directions in recipes..guess I'm too much of a free thinker to color inside the lines and think hey I be I could replace this with that only to see it flop but well ya gotta learn right? Haha. I'm droning on and on so I'll stop now but thanks again for the friend request and can't wait to hear more about your success!2
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I would first like to commend you for choosing to change your life and for sharing your story with others. Last year on my birthday I was so miserable that I decided to make a change. I was physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually at my bottom. I was in pain all the time. I hated to get up and go to the bathroom because it hurt to get up. I have never loved food and I still don't. It was not hard for me to stop eating everything in sight. I was, and am, committed to this process.
It has been a learning process for me. No matter what the scale says, I am learning how strong I am. It takes a lot of planning, commitment, dedication, but it can be done. As I often say, if I can do it then anyone can do it.
I was also 500+ and I have since lost 140 lbs. I still have a ways to go, but I am proud of myself and I have no plans of going back.5 -
@OhMsDiva You know I've kind of felt the same way I'm not super nuts about eating tons of food, but I guess as I aged I never stopped eating like I was the chubby kid at 230lbs and 19. Being active in my 20's mostly kept me at my weight but a few changes in life like a terrible unloving marriage I stayed way to long in and a job I hated took it's toll in my early 30's and took me down paths I never should have went down. So I'm here where I am today but I know I can do this. Roller coaster here I come but I'm ready and I'm willing to make the changes it's going to take to GET IT DONE
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Being honest with myself was probably the hardest thing I had to do. Way harder than cutting out calories or carbs. I look at people who really struggle with difficult challenges in life such as cancer, or losing a loved one, or other serious diseases that they can't really control. I thought to myself ..self I said..You are being a coward with the "it's too hard" excuses and I gave myself a bit of tough love and a kick in the shorts 30 days ago. Fighting cancer is hard, losing a spouse or a family member is hard...not having the extra helping of cream cheese on that bagel or heck just skipping that bagel all together isn't really that hard when you think of all those things in a bigger picture kind of way. I just remind myself of that when I push away those Hershey's kisses and say no thanks. I know I'll have lots of those moments because well lets face it I've had them before but I've really started changing the way I think more than anything and that's helped a huge amount. Food can still be enjoyable and healthy and good for me in a positive way I just have to "think" more before I "do".2
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Welcome! and so glad you are working on making your life better. A great group to join is 100 + pounds and no surgery. The people there are very understanding of your problems and are always willing to give you a hand up if you need it, and congratulate you when you are doing good. The group is very active.1
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@itprofessional Congratulations on making a step in the direction of a healthier and happier new you. I am fairly new to this community (30 days) and have a long ways to go. I have combed these threads numerous times and would just like to set out a few things that I have gained from here.
-Take pictures Now! Take more picture every 30 days.
-Take your measurements around key parts of your body, do this every month or so (Whenever you really want to)
-Know that it is okay to make mistakes. 1 mistake does not make you a failure, refusing to dust yourself off and continuing towards your goals.
-Set lots of mini-goals for yourself (For right now yours is cutting carbs)
-Just move, start slow and do what you can. Might just be a trip around the living room a couple of times.
_There is a lot of support on this board, a lot of interesting, and helpful stuff, and sometimes just some light hearted fun.
-Little changes over time add up to big changes.
-read the success stories, the NSV (Non-scale victories) for motivation.
Best of luck!
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@jdelaroy Great information. I have some pictures taken so I can gauge the differences and I don't want to be the take a photo every day person but I think the 30 day thing is a great idea. Also on the measurements I need to get a tape, time to take a trip to Amazon or hey better yet I'll set a goal to get off my butt and pick one up at Hobby Lobby. I gotta start thinking more like that...sometimes ease of use really isn't easier..
@derbycitycat Yeah I'm a little new to the social aspects of MFP and was just browsing through groups now. Thanks for mentioning that, I'm sure that will be helpful!0 -
This may be a thread for you
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10023667/your-geekery-for-today#latest0
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