What's Your Story?

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  • msalicia116
    msalicia116 Posts: 233 Member
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    xvolution wrote: »
    My bad habits eventually landed me in the hospital for a few weeks, where I had to undergo quite a few unpleasant and painful procedures. After that I vowed never to end up there again, mainly to try and avoid some of those more painful procedures [they had to use a catheter to drain off a lot of water weight. Insertion/removal of those is extremely painful].

    So far that motivation's been helping a lot. I've lost 67 pounds since then.

    Awesome results! And that's some serious motivation, I can't even imagine!
  • msalicia116
    msalicia116 Posts: 233 Member
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    @ashliefisch Talk about a complete 180! Especially in that first 2 weeks, wow. Goes to show, when your mind is dead set, the course of your life can drastically change.

    I have a 5 year old boy, and I've been baby girl crazy like you wouldn't believe. Enjoy every minute! I take it you'll be around MFP for awhile, that's awesome. Hope you fill us in as things progress! Little girls are so cute I can hardly stand it. See, I'm ridiculous right now.
  • Wolfena
    Wolfena Posts: 1,570 Member
    edited July 2016
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    msalicia116 wrote: »

    All I could think while reading that was, damn she's strong. And forgive me for saying because it's just my opinion, but it sounds like you deserve to finally focus on yourself and what makes you healthy, happy, and whole. I mean, if you can start raising kids at 17, believe me, you can definitely look and feel sexy again. You've already proven you can do anything.

    Yea... strong. LOL - THAT is the story of my life, you gotta do what you gotta do, right??? (and I've heard that a lot, strong, logical, pragmatic, fair, etc)

    However - in the past I had surpassed and maintained my goal for almost 6 years (still wasn't happy)

    I mean, everyone THINKS I'm happy - and honestly, I AM happy in pretty much every other aspect of my life EXCEPT when it comes to my own body & self. So, in comes that strong thing - one day at a time, work on the positive and accept the negative. One of the things I've learned is don't complain about things you don't (or can't) change- appreciate the positive and change for the better those things you have control over. (meaning nobody ever hears about my weight issues, only if I mention something positive about it like I'm practicing for a race or bought a new HRM, etc - this post is an oddity for me to even mention anything)

    So anyway, life goes on - my "story" continues :)
  • lauraesh0384
    lauraesh0384 Posts: 463 Member
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    My story isn't anything super dramatic other than I simply ate too much and found comfort in food. I also ate out of pure boredom a lot of the time. I was never skinny, but in high school I was pretty active with softball. I stopped playing softball and basically immersed myself in online chat rooms. Eating more and not being active anymore was the perfect recipe for weight gain. When I was 19 I started working in fast food and the weight piled on. Before I knew it, I was 240 lbs. I decided I need to make a change. I was fed up with being fat. Once I identified the triggers behind my weight gain, weight loss was actually pretty simple. I've had my struggles the past few years with gaining weight or maintaining, but now I know what I need to do to keep it off. Today I'm 156 lbs which is only a few lbs from a normal weight. I've come a long way from being 240.
  • msalicia116
    msalicia116 Posts: 233 Member
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    @Wolfena something you said really connected with me. You said you're happy with everything except your body and self. Maybe if we don't have something beating us up, we do it for them. Maybe we don't know any other way. But it doesn't have to be this way. We can control how we feel about ourselves, that's the beauty of it. And what we can't control doesn't really matter. I think it's a practice that will one day become an actual thought and then an actual feeling. Until then, appreciating the positives like you said will get us one step closer all the time.
  • JDixon852019
    JDixon852019 Posts: 312 Member
    edited July 2016
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    I thought I was one of those unicorns that could eat whatever they wanted and not gain weight. I would actually eat ridiculous amounts of food in front of classmates to prove I wasn't anorexic. I got bullied a lot by big girls. This lead me to develop a bad relationship with food.

    I got an office job and my unicorn horn broke off. I gained 40lbs in about 3 years. I took off 34 of those pounds already and have fallen in love with strength training and trying new adventures.
  • Elaina291
    Elaina291 Posts: 87 Member
    edited July 2016
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    For me, I have always been obese. At 10, I was over 200lbs. And by high school 280. No one told me growing up that my weight was unhealthy and I needed to cut back. They said it was just baby fat. When I look back now I laugh because baby fat is 5-10lbs as a teen not 100+.

    I grew up in the south so eating in my family was a way to bring us closer together and it usually included fried heavy foods. It didnt help that my mom and grandma were also extremely overweight and didn't know a thing about CICO. They would do slim fast diets and nutrisystem and hcg shots but nothing stuck for them. Watching them probably greatly influenced my disordered way of eating and thinking.

    My estranged father probably was another great influence. The one time I did stay with him, he criticized how I was eating. I remember we were at subway and my sister (who was skinny) got the white bread and when I ordered my sub with white bread he said, "Wheat bread is healthier."

    Or when I ordered soda he would say, "Pop is bad for you, you should drink juice."

    With no explanation as to why that was.

    Granted it was true but my 14 year old brain took it as he didnt approve of me and since then I have been apprehensive in seeing him until I lose most of the weight and can say aha whose fat now (I know its childish but it hurt and still hurts).

    I didnt know it then but I developed an eating disorder. I would not eat at school because I was ashamed of eating in front of people. And then pig out at home. Then I didnt really see it as a problem but looking back I wish I would have gotten help for my behavior because I probably wouldn't be the way I am now and at a healthy weight.

    When I reached my senior year, I became determined to lose weight and started on Calorie Count. I lost 25lbs but by beginning of college it didnt stick and I gained 15 of it back.

    Sophomore year, I developed a crush on someone and thought if I lost weight that it would make them "see" me. Lost 60lbs and found that it didn't work. Gained it back. Fell head over heels in love with someone I knew would never love me back. Again thought weight loss would change their mind. It didnt and I began again in 2014 after my college graduation.

    Now fast forward two years later and I am 70lbs down and have about 70 more to go.


    What I have learned in all this:

    1. Don't lose weight for people
    2. Don't lose weight to expunge demons
    3. Let go and let God
    4. Learn from your mistakes
    5. Take note of everything and try to execute the things you've done right more thoroughly and mark out the things that didn't work on my weight loss journey
    6. Take it one day, heck one hour at a time
    7. I am not my mother or father
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
    edited July 2016
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    I do have stories, but I'm not sure if I can tell them yet.
  • kmsnyg
    kmsnyg Posts: 100 Member
    edited July 2016
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    I had to deal with mental abuse growing up. I've been chubby since I was little (like seven years old) and a family member would berate me if I even went into the kitchen for a drink or to eat lunch. I was told that I was fat, that I was disgusting, that no man would ever love me, that I'd never amount to anything. I spent my childhood in fear of this person, hiding whenever he was around. I'm sure that upbringing had some impact on the morbid obesity I have faced as an adult.

    But I am an adult now, so I really can't use it as an excuse for two reasons: 1) By not taking care of myself, I'm letting that person win (and hurting myself), and 2) I'm an adult now and I control what I put into my mouth.

    I guess I have self sabotaged alot in the past when I've lost the weight, and put it back on. Like maybe I'm not worthy of being healthy, but I'm trying to get past it.

    The one good thing about dealing with what I dealt with is it has made me exceedingly motivated in my career. I was told I'd never succeed in life, and that I'd never make it through medical school, and I graduated in 2008, finished residency and fellowship in 2012-2013 and now work it a great institution in the northeast. I need to use that same motivation to get this weight off once and for all.
  • LokiGrrl
    LokiGrrl Posts: 156 Member
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    I used to be pretty active and therefore was pretty fit. Then my husband got sick and couldn't work anymore. I suddenly had to work 80 hours a week to support us. Goodbye active!me, hello exhausted!me. This went on for several years. Then he died, and for 2 years I didn't care about anything. I spent the first year eating literally nothing but TV dinners and ramen. The second year I tried to do better but I was still in pretty deep grief. By the time I felt able to face the world again (about this time last year) I was bigger than I'd ever been in my life and still pretty much living on fast food, candy, coffee, fruit, and bread, still exhausted, and in a whole lot of pain. People, including my doctor, would say, "Exercise, your pain will get better and you'll lose weight." Would have been great if the length of the driveway hadn't felt like a marathon. Some days I couldn't even walk down the porch steps, and let the dogs go off leash (I know, awful). Standing for 5 minutes, my feet would go numb; after 10 minutes the pain was like knives in every joint in my body. I would swing between beating myself up for being lazy and being full of rage that people just didn't get it.

    Then two things happened: The first was that I told the doctor the way I felt could not possibly be normal and pretty much demanded a full battery of tests. Labs came back and I was diagnosed with malabsorption, malnutrition, and metabolic syndrome. The second thing was that I read an article that said you couldn't outrun your fork. That made sense to me and a switch flipped. I got all the supplements the doctor wanted me to take and after some research, consideration, and pretty serious self-examination, I decided to do LCHF. The results have been pretty amazing, and I'm only a little over a month in and still tweaking the system to make it sustainable. I don't hurt so much! I can take walks now! I can do yoga! My brain works right! I'm not hungry! Oh, yeah, and I'm losing weight. Somewhere the focus got off losing weight and onto being healthy and fit, and I'm okay with that (as gratifying as it is to see pounds and inches come off).

    What's helped me other than epiphanies and LCHF is sitting down and figuring out my goals, and then setting mini-goals to set up a pattern of success. Instead of being like, ugh, I've only lost 10 pounds, I'm like HAY I LOST 10 POUNDS FIRST MINIGOAL REACHED WOOOOOOO! Also reading these boards has helped me refine and focus my thoughts on health and fitness in general as far as what I'm willing to do, what I hate, what broscience and woo I can ignore, and what arguments are pointless and frustrating; it's helped me develop a philosophy of my own about this area of life. Oh, and delicious, delicious recipes and food suggestions.

    I have my bad days, but overall I'm pretty happy with the way things are going for me right now.
  • tkdchick2016
    tkdchick2016 Posts: 38 Member
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    I was always a "muscly" kid. I weighed more than people thought, mostly because of muscle because I was not fat. I have always been self conscious about my size because all of my friends seemed to be thinner than me, but it never stopped me. As a young child I participated in swimming because my asthma prevented much running. Then started baseball. I started playing badminton when I was 13. I was introduced to soccer when I was 14 and gave up baseball to play soccer when playing both got too busy. In high school I played badminton, soccer and field hockey as well as lifesaving competitions and continued swimming. When I was 16 (and likely between 150-160lb at 5'6") I was told by my doctor that I should lose weight and aim for 145lb to be at a normal BMI (first of all, that is the low end of my BMI, second of all it is not physically possible for me to be that weight and be healthy - I am a size 8 at 155lb). Thank goodness I had a smart mother who knew better than to let me believe that junk! I made it through university with only gaining about 30lb, continued working as a lifeguard and swimming almost 6 days a week. I was still pretty happy, but once I got a job and sat at a desk more, I realized I needed to get back to being more active. It worked, I moved to a new province, made friends, started playing soccer again and just generally was happier. I lost 30lb, met my boyfriend, and kept it off.....for a year. Slow spiral started with a trip home, my friends wedding, finding out I was moving again, breaking up with my boyfriend who didn't want long distance, actually moving halfway across the country, had repeated injuries that sidelined me, realized I was not happy at my place of work, had a hard time finding a place where I fit in, became depressed.....and food was my friend. Four years and 100lb later I am trying to make myself happy again. It is slow and I stumble a lot, but I will do this for me. Sorry that was long winded.
  • JDixon852019
    JDixon852019 Posts: 312 Member
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    @VintageFeline I am rooting for you! You got this! Trying silks is also on my list. I bet you would be AMAZING at it!
  • SCoil123
    SCoil123 Posts: 2,108 Member
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    I developed bulimia in adolescents. I was never overweight but I was built larger than most of my friends. I wanted to be a size 2 and was determined to get there, a 5 was as close as I ever got.

    I stopped purging when I became pregnant because I knew it was bad for my baby but I kept binging. I gained almost 90lb during my pregnancy. And I also started getting sick around the same time. When my son was a toddler I was diagnosed with hashimoto and endometreosis and he was diagnosed with autism. I was overwhelmed and depressed so I fell back into bulimia. I didn't lose weight because my binges were so large and my health got so bad I wasn't able to parent the way I wanted to.

    At 30 I got professional help including counseling, a nutritionist, metabolic testing, and started getting healthy. It took me 2 years but I hit my healthy weight and felt amazing. I was so proud of myself for doing it the right way and felt stronger (physically and emotionally) than ever before. I maintained for 3 years and was even a substitute teacher for a local Insanity class.

    A year ago I moved in with my boyfriend and changed jobs so I'm sitting more. I gained back 30lbs. Now I'm struggling to get my auto immune and hormonal issues under control again and get back on track. I'm currently 20lbs away from goal and have not fallen back into past bad behavior despite frustration over slow weight loss.
  • thequeena47
    thequeena47 Posts: 8 Member
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    Not tragic perhaps, but frustrating.... First though, i have to express my irritation with the idea of 'ideal' weight for height tables. I am 5'6", and the information i have always seen says i should be about 125-132 lbs. At that weight, i look seriously ill, with bones sticking out front and back and no curves. I am thin looking at 145 lbs. At 165 i am looking a bit luscious, and properly fill a B cup. Now, though, i am 250 and overflowing a D cup, and with too many 'X's on my clothing labels. I am desperate to shed many pounds, but any would be in the right direction.
    But, if i had known then what i know now, i may have been in a different place right now. See if this sounds familiar to any of you ladies out there... this is my timeline... When i was 16 my gp expressed surprise at the excessive body hair i had ( I am a caucasian almost blond), I was sent to an endocrinologist to test for hormone levels at 18, plus ultrasounds of my uterus and ovaries to determine the cause of excruciating, but infrequent cycles, and sent again at 21, 23, and 25. At 25 i was told i would likely never get pregnant, and if i did i would likely never carry a baby to term. Any guesses? It's a commonly known condition now, but not 30 yrs ago... right - PCOS, polycystic ovary syndrome. Great! a slow metabolism and tendency to gain unrelated to consumption or activity. I didn't get this diagnosis until very recently, when my naturopath confirmed that all symptoms point to PCOS, except now that i am nearing 50 and pre-menopausal, the syndrome tends to morph into 'metabolic syndrome'. At 21 yrs, it took me a year to lose 25 lbs, working out hard several times a week, eating 'small', and walking everywhere i needed to go. At that age, it should be easy to drop pounds! At my age now, nearly everything is a struggle and it isn't about intake or exercise. My tracking counter suggests i should be 20 pounds down by the end of the summer if i keep on like this... which it has told me for the past several months with no shift for me. I walk 4+ km several times a week, i am trying to stick to low carb, better proteins, plenty of water and rest. No pop, very little alcohol, i cook for my family from real food..... not sure what else i can be doing to deal with this! So now, i not only feel like i am dealing with the invisibility that seems to come with aging, but also with the disregard that comes with too much weight. Nothing better than going into a clothing store and being ignored or worse, a lingerie store! Because, girl! i tell you if there is one thing i do have now, that i didn't have when i was an A cup 28 yr old is the need for a good bra!

    But, there is one thing i hope anyone reading will take some comfort from...despite the PCOS my doctor never confirmed, despite all the symptoms pointing to it, i have had three healthy full term babies, and no miscarriages or unusual difficulties with pregnancy. And, until my first pregnancy at 26 i was never more than 160lbs, after my third at 34 is when most of the excess became fixed... i don't quite know what to do now--my job and family take a lot of my time and energy,and it is hard to fit in the walks i do manage, and very easy to let them slide....
  • ronjsteele1
    ronjsteele1 Posts: 1,064 Member
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    I experienced an extreme amount of sexual and emotional abuse from the time I was tiny. That's as concise as I can make that. By the time I was 10 I was anorexic and shifted into bulimia by the time I was in my early teens. Fast forward MANY years of gaining and losing small amounts of weight. I was fairly active so managed to stay fit until I started having kids. I managed to lose weight from being pregnant with my first two babies but after the 3rd my body whacked out. Hormones changed, PCOS kicked in, etc. Lots of testing later it was discovered that I had a damaged pituitary from the abuse, low thyroid (that I now know I've had since I was 15), I was gaining weight, etc. A severe leg and ankle injury and subsequent surgery packed on another 40#'s when I turned 40. So at 46, here I sit with 65#'s left to lose (and that puts me well above what any doctor's chart says I "should" weigh but I know I never will). I've spent the last six months in intense counseling getting past fears of being raped if I lose weight and all of the emotional garbage that goes with abuse. It is just now that my "why" is solid and healthy but losing is still very difficult. Between a permanently damaged pituitary that does not like to kick out hormones and peri-menopausal age (again, hormones), I'm having to fight harder then I ever have. I do everything as naturally as I can, but in the end, I still find it's CICO. I have to do some unconventional things to make that a bit more effective for me, but it still comes down to CICO. Somehow, God in His grace has given me the strength and ability to persevere. I have 3 great teenagers, a good husband, and life is good. After my childhood, that is nothing short of a miracle.
  • LokiGrrl
    LokiGrrl Posts: 156 Member
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    So sad for all the tragic experiences people have had, and even just the frustration. I hope everyone here gets a happily ever after, or at least a happily for a while. Wish I could say something better to actually make that happen but apparently being Pollyanna is the best I can do. Good luck to you all.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,922 Member
    edited July 2016
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    I've was slender and very active most of my life.

    In 2009, I moved to Australia and almost immediately developed DVT which side-lined me for a year. Warfarin is no fun. Turns out I have a genetic predisposition to clotting. Yay. I gained a bit of weight and nudged just up and over into the overweight range.

    2011, I lost weight bringing me back down within my normal BMI range.

    2012, my husband and I put everything into storage and toured the world for 8 months. There's a lot of good food out there! Despite the fact that we took our bicycles with us and rode quite a bit of the way, we also ate a lot. I slid back into the overweight range again.

    December-January 2012, my husband and I stopped in Canada for a month to spend the Christmas season with my family. We joined a gym and lost weight over Christmas, despite eating all kinds of yummy Christmas cooking. Back down into my normal BMI range ... just.

    February 2013, we started taking steps to integrate back into the world of working, things were a bit unsettled, there were several moves. Not paying attention to food intake. Back into the overweight range.

    December 2014, I started paying attention and exercising more ... and lost some weight over Christmas. Seems like Christmas is a good time to lose weight for me!

    January 2015, two unrelated cancer scares and subsequent urgent surgeries. Great way to start the year! Shot up into the overweight range ... my highest weight yet! I learned later, that I probably retained some water from the surgeries. One is all clear, the other is still a bit of an issue.

    February 2015, joined MFP ... and over the next 8 months I lost 25 kg (55 lbs) bringing me right down to the lower half my BMI range and a weight I haven't seen since 2004. Also my high school weight. :) I've been maintaining since just before last Christmas. :)

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