Question about general happiness

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THISisTARRAN
THISisTARRAN Posts: 487 Member
in Motivation and Support
So...I have been told many times... "You have to accept yourself for who you are" and all the other ways you can fathom saying that. I guess I don't quite get what that means. So...if there is something I don't like about myself...lets say...I wish I wasn't so pessimistic...or negative (true)...I should just accept that I am that way? I guess that doesn't really make sense to me. I believe that you can change and should change. I guess I don't really understand the whole accepting yourself for the good and the bad thing...I'd really love to understand this, since I'm told it frequently...I want to accept the good and the bad...I just don't think I know how to do that...or even what about me I'm accepting...I don't really know "who i am" I think...because I'm not just one way? Well if you can help me out with this...at all, that would be awesome.
Thank you-
Tarran :flowerforyou:

Replies

  • claire_xox
    claire_xox Posts: 282 Member
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    It's all about perspective. Using being negative is a really hard example. I suppose what they mean is if you're being negative because for example you're struggling with maths then they mean more just be ok with the fact that you're not great at maths and be aware how good you are at history... or whatever.

    Negativety is a conditon not trait. It's like being happy. No one is always happy or unhappy. No one is always negative or positive. You can train yourself to be more positive.
  • abcdefgeee
    abcdefgeee Posts: 13
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    I know what you mean; it gets confusing. "Accepting" isn't the same as "being satisfied/happy with". So you can accept yourself for who you are in the present but still want to change yourself for the future. :tongue:
  • joehempel
    joehempel Posts: 1,761 Member
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    I'd figure out what you want out of life first.

    But claire as it right on I think. You've got to figure out what YOU really WANT out of life. Using math and history was a great example that not everyone is good at everything, and you have to accept that.

    I wish I played music for a living, but I know how to play guitar, and am good...so I am happy because music makes me happy. I don't know if that makes any sense LOL
  • music4Him
    music4Him Posts: 4 Member
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    Tarran, boy is that a loaded question. Sometimes we get so hooked on the way we "feel" that we can forget that we can't always trust our feelings. Our diet can effect our emotions-hormones, energy level, and can even contribute towards depression. Life is to be lived one day at a time, an opportunity to stop and smell thae roses, to find out what challenges us, and how it might affect us if we let it pass. Negativity will always attempt to raise itself up to ruin a day or an opportunity. The most important thing to remember is you are a child of God. If you believe in God, you are His child, the apple of His eye. Don't ever forget that. When the rain comes, and it will, remember that status. Life will try to throw you a lemon, so look at it objectively, and if you can, make a container of lemonade. True happiness isn't just a feeling, it is also a decision. Don't always go by how you feel, feelings can mislead. Remember, it's also a decision. Had a friend who dealt with some serious health issues and she chose to look for the good, no matter what. I miss her but I've learned how we feel about others, and ourselves makes a dramatic impact, not just on ourselves but also on others around us. Not sure if this gave some help or not, Keep chugging along, you'll do great.
    Kathy
  • THISisTARRAN
    THISisTARRAN Posts: 487 Member
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    Wow...thank you, all of you. But Claire...what you said...just made it...SO clear. I am a BIG analogy person. If you can explain it in an analogy I for sure get it and you made it so easy for my brain to understand. Thank you. =) SO much.
  • Driagnor
    Driagnor Posts: 323 Member
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    From my perspective, it's about being the best person that YOU can be. It's not about comparing yourself to a friend, or a colleague or a movie star. Most of us are never going to be professional athletes, and we shouldn't compare ourselves to them - compare yourself to how you were a week or a month or a year ago, and honestly ask yourself whether you like who you are today more than you were then.

    If the answer is no, set some goals, make a plan, and do what you need to to make yourself better than you were yesterday. There are also things that you can't change, and you have to accept those. For instance I'm only 5'3", and I know there's nothing that I can do to change that. However, I can change the fact that I weigh 94 kg - it's within my own sphere of influence, and the success or failure to get healthy is something that I can change and will change if I continue my efforts.

    Change the things you can, and learn to be comfortable with what you can't.
  • EmBlazes
    EmBlazes Posts: 374 Member
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    Hi

    It's a good question so thank you for asking it.

    My personal feeling is that some people are naturally more pessimistic. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing. I like to think of myself as more "realistic" because I think it sounds more positive.

    I also think that you can change and become more positive in your outlook and I think it's good to do this if your pessimism gets you or people around you down.

    People can certainly change but it's important to recognise that some things are intrinsic to your personality and even though you might want to change them, it might mean that changing that thing means reducing the severity of it and not necessarily eliminating the trait altogether.

    If people are encouraging you to change then I'm sure they mean well but it can be equally as depressing to constantly be told you aren't great as you are.

    Not a particularly conclusive answer I'm afraid!

    :smile:
  • claire_xox
    claire_xox Posts: 282 Member
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    :) xx

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