Knowing What Works, But Not Doing It

briegirl28 · August 2016

Hi Everyone,

I was weighing myself daily and recording all of my food for quite a few months, and in the past few months I've slacked off and stopped weighing myself, instead judging my weight by how my clothes felt.

I'm in a size 18 in Lane Bryant, and happy about that. My dream goal would be a size 12-14. My next goal is to get to a size 16z

I had my first date in a long, long while and while it went really long and while I really like the guy, I think I may have made a horrible impression. I've apologized and all I can do now is wait to see if he contacts me. I have already apologized and sent a text and either he will be open to giving me another chance, or he won't. To be honest, part of me feels that my self esteem issues are immature. The guy isn't perfect, but to me I thought he was great and very handsome and very smart. And I feel that I may have acted like I was in awe of him when we met.

Rather than be anxious, I think I need to focus on my weight loss and living healthier and feeling better about myself. I realize that most of my life I have always pursued a guy and not really the other way around. And I'm tired of that. I want to feel like I'm valued as a woman. I want a guy to actually pick me up and take me out. I feel like something got switched when I was younger and I felt like it was my responsibility to woo a guy and convince him of how nice I am. Of course I now realize that isn't healthy,

I'm not overeating or anything like that, and my appetite has really gone downhill. I will often just eat protein bars for my meals rather than take the time to cook. I know that isn't healthy, but I just often don't feel like cooking.

I also need to increase my water and no amount of nice water bottles is making me kick my butt in gear.

How have you gotten back on track with your healthy living motivation? And how do you maintain that motivation in situations where you are surrounded by free food? And situations that are high stress?

I want to get off of sugar, but I'm having some projects due at work and the sugar keeps me going.

If anyone here has detoxed off of sugar , what tips or tools did you use to deal with the cravings and any emotional changes you may have experienced ?

Any advice for really getting back on track with my previous Weightloss goals? Any tips that may have helped you to regain your previous motivation? Any apps that you feel really help you (other than this one of course)?

AliciaBerries · August 2016

Personally I wouldn't only go by the way my clothes fit. I can pack on quite a bit of weight between sizes without realizing. If tracking calories and periodic weighing worked before, I'd go back to that.

And if that guy doesn't call back, his loss. ;-)

luckylaw · August 2016

I've been right where you are for most of the last three years. I've made breakfast super easy as a Jimmy Dean De-light Turkey sausage bowl. It's a pretty healthy and quick way to eat breakfast. I've also bought the caffeinated Mio for squirting in my water to help go cold turkey off soda. I'm still working on ways to make things easier on the days I get too unmotivated to cook.

hypodonthaveme · August 2016

My suggestions are : meal prep, exercise even when you don't want to, cut out 1 sweet treat a day until you don't have any more to give up, relax, compliment yourself, acknowledge your achievements, weigh weekly or monthly, take measurements, enjoy the journey.

As for the guy issue, don't stress. Work on you for a while. When you get more self confidence and self esteem, you will be surprised how that changes the atmosphere while being around people.

When you are unmotivated, ask yourself : do I want to reach a size 16? Assuming you say yes ask yourself, how am I going to get to a size 16 if I do not do anything to get there. You will not get there by over eating, and sitting on the couch. You know this. So, reach down deep within yourself and grab that determination and will power and put it to use. You are stronger than you think. You've already lost some, so you know you can do it.

Stay strong, stay dedicated to your mission. You've got this.

briegirl28 · August 2016

Thank you so much, everybody.

I'm going to try to start cutting back on the sugary drinks first as that is usually the easiest.

Yeah, I feel bummed about the guy. I realize I also was intimidated by how cute he is. But I was flattered by how nice he was to me. Very gentlemanly.

For me, I know it can take like 30-60lbs. Lost before I go down a pants size. I'm happy that I'm in an official size 18. And of course I'd like to be able to fit into a size 18 in all stores, darn vanity sizing!!

I'm going to work on my water intake as I know I eat when really I'm dehydrated. I also need to eat more hot, cooked food, and I definitely need to get back to weighing myself and to writing down my food daily. I'm also going to enjoy the fruits of summer why they are still here

msalicia116 · August 2016

I'm so nosy, I want to hear more about your date! I went on my first date in over a year last weekend, so I'm all about living vicariously through other people haha

briegirl28 · August 2016

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice, ladies.

As for the date, we met for coffee, and we ended up talking for like 3.5-4 hours in the cafe, then we walked around and looked at art and graffiti and murals as it is fun and plentiful in the neighborhood we were in.

We then found a free comedy show in the same neighborhood and watched that for a couple of hours. Then we went to eat some delicious South American food. I feel like I said something that upset him during the last hour or so. I know I mentioned how difficult dating can be and how difficult communication can be in the beginning.

Then we rode public transportation and before I got off on my stop, he gave me a nice hug.

When I hid home I told him I got home and that I had a great time, and offered to go out again. He replied that he got home and thanked me for a great day.

Since then, I know he is traveling, but he didn't reply to my text and I sent an apology email because I felt I wasn't in the best mood when I met him. But he hasn't replied.

I realize that I have been coming on really strong at times. One guy I was talking to said that he thought I was desperate. The reality is I was trying but to cheer him up and be positive because he had really bad self esteem, but I do realize I tolerated things that I didn't want to (like he would disappear from text conversations constantly, he suggested there was something hurtful about my hands or how he said my hands looked to him.

briegirl28 · August 2016

I think my post got cut off.

I don't think I am desperate as I don't go for most guys that claim they are interested in me. I just get maybe too happy when I find someone that I think is rare and that I actually have things in common with, which is super rare in my opinion.

Coupongrl79 · August 2016

He met you for coffee so he could bail in like 15 mins if he wasnt interested. Hope he texts but if not, he wasnt meant for you. Take it as a confidence booster that he thought you looked good and he was physically attracted to you. No way a man would spend that much time on a first date otherwise.

briegirl28 · August 2016

Coupongrl79 wrote: »

He met you for coffee so he could bail in like 15 mins if he wasnt interested. Hope he texts but if not, he wasnt meant for you. Take it as a confidence booster that he thought you looked good and he was physically attracted to you. No way a man would spend that much time on a first date otherwise.

Thank you.

I haven't heard from him since Sunday, when he headed out on a trip. Of course I hope he is okay. I guess I just read him not asking to go out again or reply to my mention of going out again as his way of not being interested. Though who knows? It's only been a week and he could be busy.

I just have to work on not getting my hopes up too much

msalicia116 · August 2016

briegirl28 wrote: »

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice, ladies.

As for the date, we met for coffee, and we ended up talking for like 3.5-4 hours in the cafe, then we walked around and looked at art and graffiti and murals as it is fun and plentiful in the neighborhood we were in.

We then found a free comedy show in the same neighborhood and watched that for a couple of hours. Then we went to eat some delicious South American food. I feel like I said something that upset him during the last hour or so. I know I mentioned how difficult dating can be and how difficult communication can be in the beginning.

Then we rode public transportation and before I got off on my stop, he gave me a nice hug.

When I hid home I told him I got home and that I had a great time, and offered to go out again. He replied that he got home and thanked me for a great day.

Since then, I know he is traveling, but he didn't reply to my text and I sent an apology email because I felt I wasn't in the best mood when I met him. But he hasn't replied.

I realize that I have been coming on really strong at times. One guy I was talking to said that he thought I was desperate. The reality is I was trying but to cheer him up and be positive because he had really bad self esteem, but I do realize I tolerated things that I didn't want to (like he would disappear from text conversations constantly, he suggested there was something hurtful about my hands or how he said my hands looked to him.

Wow! Your date sounds like my dream date! I'm not even close to kidding haha. I'm an art curator, and to walk around looking at the graffiti was about the coolest thing I have ever heard for a date. And I absolutely love stand up, seriously the best date ever IMO.

You said he acted different that last hour, and think it was something you said. I agree with another poster that that's an awful long time to spend with someone if they weren't interested. But, I understand what you mean about reading someone when something is off, so I'm curious too about what happened.

You sound like an awesome person! Can't wait to hear about more dates, whether it's with this guy or a different one

msalicia116 · August 2016

Coupongrl79 wrote: »

@briegirl28 - It was your first date in a long time and he was cute and nice so it was natural to feel an attraction and attachment. I know it is hard, but don't chase what doesn't want to be caught. You deserve a man that will pursue you. Focus on your weight loss and happiness right now. Date more. And know that there will be lots more of cute boys in your future!

Batch prepping my meals used to keep me on track. I have been slacking on that though. I buy romaine at Costco and eat salads everyday for lunch. It only takes like 5 minutes to make one in the morning.

Workout in the mornings. If you want to skip a workout, still put on your workout gear and ask yourself again if you want to skip the workout.

As for detoxing off of sugar, I haven't been able to accomplish that yet. I still have a daily argument with myself around 3 PM because I want to hit the vending machine and get a candy bar. I just remind myself that it will take 1/2 hour on the elliptical to burn it off. It doesn't always work though. I've been focusing on eating more fruit instead of processed sweets. I do keep semi-sweet chocolate chips around but try to limit myself to a few a day. Sometimes I nuke them and dip fruit in them.

@msalicia116 - I'm nosy too and want to hear about your date as well! Do tell missy!

My date? I don't even know what to say! I had a 4 day fast that week from ADF, hadn't drank in forever, and didn't eat the day of our date, so it was a recipe for disaster. We had wine, that hit me too hard too fast. Then he started talking about his previous relationships, and the conversation got away from us, so we didn't end up eating at all. I guess we were both so nervous, and in his defense I made him wait 3 months to take me on the date, so I think the build up was just too much at that point. We then met his friends at this swanky place, and had some mixed drinks, which was a horrible idea. I asked him to take me home, I felt like the world was spinning. I was sick for 2 days after that haha. Anyway, the next day we both laughed about it, and he asked for a do over. So, as I was recovering on the couch the next day, I read an ESPN article, and he was one of the athletes in it! I had no idea who he was the entire time we were on our date. Ughhhh, so the layers of that damn date just continue to unfold haha.

Knowing What Works, But Not Doing It

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