"You look great but wouldn't need to lose any more weight"

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dave_in_ni
dave_in_ni Posts: 533 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I've had this a lot recently from family. I was at a family wedding yesterday with relatives I've not seen in years and I got told this a couple of times.

Now here is the problem, I lost 50lbs, it takes me to 176lbs at 6ft tall, I suppose I do look rather trim however I am still fat, My body fat percentage is at least 22%, I lost a lot of lean mass on my diet, you don't really notice it until I take my shirt off.

So on one hand I have my family telling me "You wouldn't need to lose any more weight" while on the other hand my friends still use the old nicknames, "Big Dave" and you still get the occasional fat jokes etc but the problem with family is they never say anything bad about you.

The plan was to keep on my diet while hitting the weights harder to try and balance out the fat with muscle etc, I am unsure really what to do. I was thinking around another 10lbs or so of might help

Any advice

Replies

  • neogramps
    neogramps Posts: 79 Member
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    I got the same thing from my family the first christmas after I started losing weight (too skinny, wasting away etc); then a few months later got more positive comments (looking slim/fit) despite being another stone lighter.

    It takes time for people's perception to catch up to reality.
  • samchez0
    samchez0 Posts: 364 Member
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    I think a lot of people are so used to seeing us at our bigger sizes that it can come as a shock when they see us smaller. I think society's view of a healthy weight in general is skewed towards heavier as well unless you're talking about models. Just brush off those comments and keep doing you.

    Also, my mom makes these kind of comments towards me too and I know it has to do with her own twisted body images issues. She's always projected her own weight issues onto me and now that I'm getting thin I think she feels jealous and tells me I shouldn't lose any more or I'll be too skinny. When I was bigger though she used to always talk about how worried she was at how big I was getting (which while I was big at 200 lbs, I was no where close to being morbidly obese). There is seriously not a time I've had a conversation with my mom where she hasn't discussed my weight.
  • coachsaralee
    coachsaralee Posts: 29 Member
    edited August 2016
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    22% body is not fat unless you are trying to do a bikini competition. 25% or less is healthy. If you lost a lot of lean mass on your diet, you probably weren't enough enough calories and/or protein which causes you to burn muscle and keep fat. Have you had your body fat tested? Find someone with a Tanita scale to check.

    I don't know why people around us start freaking out when we get close to our goal weight/body fat... it happens to almost everyone.

    You are on track talking about hitting the weight training. But it's 80% nutrition and 20% workout. You have to feed those muscle to get them to grow.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
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    coachsaralee wrote: »
    22% body is not fat unless you are trying to do a bikini competition. 25% or less is healthy. If you lost a lot of lean mass on your diet, you probably weren't enough enough calories and/or protein which causes you to burn muscle and keep fat. Have you had your body fat tested? Find someone with a Tanita scale to check.

    I don't know why people around us start freaking out when we get close to our goal weight/body fat... it happens to almost everyone.

    You are on track talking about hitting the weight training. But it's 80% nutrition and 20% workout. You have to feed those muscle to get them to grow.

    I believe Dave is a guy. Men are supposed to have more muscle mass and less fat mass than women.
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 9,988 Member
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    kommodevaran wrote: »
    22% body is not fat unless you are trying to do a bikini competition. 25% or less is healthy. If you lost a lot of lean mass on your diet, you probably weren't enough enough calories and/or protein which causes you to burn muscle and keep fat. Have you had your body fat tested? Find someone with a Tanita scale to check.

    I don't know why people around us start freaking out when we get close to our goal weight/body fat... it happens to almost everyone.

    You are on track talking about hitting the weight training. But it's 80% nutrition and 20% workout. You have to feed those muscle to get them to grow.

    coachsaralee wrote: »
    [/b]I believe Dave is a guy. Men are supposed to have more muscle mass and less fat mass than women.

    And don't usually enter bikini competitions. :smile:
  • ivylyon
    ivylyon Posts: 172 Member
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    I guess you have to make a call as to where these comments are coming from based on the people making them.
    Yes, you should ignore anyone who is just talking out of envy, spite or their own body issues, BUT, if your friends and family are telling you you've lost enough weight and are speaking from a place of love then you need to consider listening to them. Some times losing weight can be taken too far.

    My advice is find someone or some people you trust and ask them for an honest opinion. Take your shirt off and explain your goals/concerns/progress to them and get another perspective. (A family wedding probably isn't the appropriate forum - ha ha)
    Or talk to your doctor, but it would be great if you can find support from people around you. If they know that you're not planing on wasting away but rather want to building muscle etc they might be less concerned and more supportive.
  • debradonothin
    debradonothin Posts: 10 Member
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    You have to be happy with yourself but at the same time not too critical
  • tkdchick2016
    tkdchick2016 Posts: 38 Member
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    You need to do what you want to do. Recomp would be a good idea as said above because you can build muscle and lose fat. Just keep in mind that if your family members didn't see you through your journey, it is a big shock to them and they are likely just voicing their perception.

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