Unsupportive wife

haha nice state stuff.

anyways-- I definately do not know the situation enough to judge it, but based on what you are saying, it sounds like she may be upset because she is secretly self-concious or envious of your new found willpower to lose weight.

If she is overweight even a little bit, she may be envious of your ability to be losing weight. She may be upset with herself for not taking the inciative to lose her weight.

If she is super in shape or skinny or something maybe she is nervous that once you lose weight & get in good shape, you will get more attention from other women, and she is scared you will like the new attention more than you like her.


My boyfriend sometimes gets upset with my weight loss stuff when i say things like "ahh I wish I could have that" or "that looks so good" because he doesn't think I need to 'restrict' myself from eating DQ or Mcdonalds like he does because we both ate like that before and I was never even over weight at my highest.

So maybe she is just concerned that you want to lose weight because you were not super big to begin with! I donno, there could be a lot of reasons.

Once you get advice from this post, you should try to figure out what it could be then confront her about it.

Perhaps suggest she can join in with you if she wants or something! idk

hope this helped!! & congrats on making and sticking with a decision without support!

I'm so sorry to read this post and see the hurt in the words that you've posted....

Maybe it's time for some active listening.... You know where you say to her what you heard her say and tell her how you feel.

Maybe it's time for a date and some "cheat" meal to talk it over with her.... Maybe she's feeling left out or that her menu ideas are limited etc.

It's very difficult to try and figure it out. But in reality, I'm very sorry you're experiencing it and had your feelings hurt....

hang in there.

You are definitely doing the right thing - is your wife maybe a little overweight and feels bad that she cannot do what you are doing ?

I'm sorry she's not being supportive. I don't know her reasons or why and I'm not going to speculate.

I can tell you this, if you were my husband, after looking at your diary, I'd be concerned!! You may be meeting a calorie goal but it's with high calorie items that don't amount to much. Looking at numbers, sure you're meeting about 1800 calories (not 2000)...I checked. Looking at the food, it isn't much to eat. Sorry, but even I would be starving!!

Just my 2 cents.

Good luck!!

Are you eating different then the rest of your family? OR did you make her change her cooking practice? If the answer is yes for any of these, I would say she just doesn't like the fact that she has to change too. You can not force somebody to change her or his eating habit, it has to come from within. We are all here on MFP , because we had a moment and decided to change. Unfortunately our spouses may not have the that's it moment at the same time, and they want to eat they crapy food, and our decision affect their lifestyle too, which can be annoying for them. .

I have a similar problem with my husband. Although theoretically he is supportive, but practically he is totally not. He keeps whining about why we are eating grilled chicken with salad again. He asks for pasta , pastries,cookies and icecream on daily basis and and he can go on an on about it. So I have to do a hard *kitten* workout on some days just so we can eat the stupid and he would be happy.

Oh well, marriages work because people make them work.

??? I was shocked to see, after all these comments that you still regularly eat junk food.

I was very surprised at your diary. I went back about a week and could not see anything you had cooked at home. Is she upset because you are not eating food she has prepared for you both, or you are not eating together?
You have a lot of calories to play with, why not sit down together and plan some really nice, nutritious meals that you would both enjoy cooking and eating together. Maybe include some fresh veggies.
In my opinion (from experience of 112lb loss, not much gone back on) you cannot go on eating junk food. You have to change your lifestyle, not just eat fewer calories, if you are going to keep the weight off once you reach your goal.

Honestly, it is difficult if not impossible to say why your wife is saying that. We could only guess. I can only suggest to you is to try to understand where she is coming from; then try to help her understand your position.
At some point you will need to be forthcoming with her and express your feelings; be thoughtful of her and express yourself without being judging of her character. One thing that can definitely be said about her comments is that she is expressing concern for your health and well being. That in my book is a sign of love, so congrats on finding a woman who cares for you. (Even the first several postings on here were people wondering if you were putting yourself in danger.)

From an outside perspective, it appears that you are doing pretty darn good on your weight loss journey. Like you, I am a big guy and losing 2 to 3 pounds a week was easy. At first I was fearful I was shedding pounds too fast, and was inadvertingly starting a yo-yo diet routine. However, the pounds came off and stayed off. EDUCATING myself helped me understand that I was not putting myself in harm's way and the results were not only okay, but typical. (So many of us begin with the belief that a person's weight loss should take a lot longer.)

Also, look at some of the other benefits, I'm sure you can add to the list:
1. Feeling thinner feels great.
2. Increase in energy and stamina.
3. Dr. Oz's 1 inch gain for every 30-35 lbs loss rule. (look it up; she should be appreciating that too)
4. Increase in activities, chores, hobbies (things are happening and getting done.)


Take Away:
First understand [her] then be understood (make your case; in positive manner). (Must be in that order, and validate her concerns. yeah, this was stolen from Stephen R. Covey's 7 Habits.)

Also, remember, your wife is always right, even if you think she's wrong. She is right in feeling concerned for you, but try persuade her to change her mind; which she will do on her own, because its her prerogative. By now, you should have learned a wealth of information about losing weight in a healthy way. Even if what you have learned is only the tip of the ice berg. Share some of that information; but don't force it on her.)

Apologies for long winded reply. Hope it helps.

That sucks for you, and I hope over time she becomes more happy for you.
Maybe she misses an eating buddy, someone that will go out and eat a huge meal at a restaurant with her. Maybe she misses the guy you used to be, even if the new guy is better! I can tell you that when I go out with my family and get something small, they feel guilty for getting their huge meals.
I just read below about that you possibly don't eat at home - maybe that is upsetting her. Work her meals into your diet and I bet she will be a lot happier!