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msanc095
msanc095 Posts: 20 Member
in Motivation and Support
Because of my weight gain, I feel that my partner doesn't view me as attractive like before. I must admit that gaining weight has affected my self-esteem and how I present myself. I am interested to know how has your weight gain or loss affected your romantic relationship?

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  • MoveitlikeManda
    MoveitlikeManda Posts: 846 Member
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    I am convinced my husband con not fancy me like he did befor I gained all th weight.
    however he has never said anything negative about me, is still affectionate as he always has been, our sex life is no different (slight more hard work fitting it in with 5 kids lol but we still find time) and he still will grab/smack my bum when i walk past him like he always has.

    i look in the mirror and think there is no way he could find me attractive anymore BUT he has has shown me the oposite of that, so I have no choice but to believe him although thats easier said then done when you cant stand looking at your self......so why would anyone else right.

    I think its imprtant that if you have a supportive husband/other half that he loves you.......even your wobbly bits and if he is supporting your weight loss dont look at it as thogh its because HE wants you to be slimmer, its because HE wants to help YOU be happy and if losing weight is gonna make you feel better about yourself he will be supportive, but he also wont moan or care on the days you say "sod it, i want ice cream"

    love really can be blind, and beauty is personal preference.

    his prefernce....is YOU, fat or thin :)
  • vespiquenn
    vespiquenn Posts: 1,455 Member
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    If he loves you, your gain should not matter. However, I am somewhat practical in understanding that love and physical attraction are not always mutual. If I meet someone at a certain weight, then gain, I do not believe that physical attraction should be assumed just because they love you.

    I have gained weight while dating, and typically it didn't become a big deal. I did have one ex that made a fat reference, even though I was only a few pounds away from a healthy BMI (and tall so it was hard to see anyways), but he only did it to attempt to hurt me. I laughed, honestly. But you can't dictate what someone deems attractive, even if they love you with everything they have. Now, that isn't to say that they should be cruel about it or hold it over your head as a means of abuse. But this is why you need to have open communication with partners.
  • justinstuart99705
    justinstuart99705 Posts: 13 Member
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    I used to be about 180 ish, then got up to 205, but working on dropping weight while my wife is away at Physician Assistant school. I am down to 197.2 and more toned and my wife says I am fine, despite me wanting to get down to 170. She supports me and says I look fine and I am more critical on myself than she is.

    Some suggestions are to talk with your partner about how you feel and if they love you, they should support you. Ask them to go on walks/work out with you, make it a bonding thing. Support is important, I support her as she goes to PA school and she has been saying I look fine and attractive even when I don't feel like it.
  • alpacalypsia
    alpacalypsia Posts: 22 Member
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    My boyfriend tells me that he loves me no matter how heavy I am, and he tells me that every day. He does really appreciate, however, that I'm working out now (he's already really fit, which I loooove!!) - not because I need to lose weight, but because it's healthier for me, extending the time we'll have together when we get old. I'm a very lucky girl :)
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
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    msanc095 wrote: »
    Because of my weight gain, I feel that my partner doesn't view me as attractive like before. I must admit that gaining weight has affected my self-esteem and how I present myself. I am interested to know how has your weight gain or loss affected your romantic relationship?

    What makes you feel that way?
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
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    my weight loss hasn't effected my relationship. my wife's weight gain hasn't effected how i feel about her (although it does, at times, effect how she feels about herself). I love the woman for who she is, and what she brings to my life and her body is the vessel that holds that beautiful person, so i love it no matter what...

    until she reaches 150, then she has to go. :p

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