Did you just say that?
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cmtristani
Posts: 117 Member
There's been more than a few posts about stupid things people say to someone on a weight loss plan, but for some reason I never thought it would happen to me. That was dumb...
My boss started a diet plan a few months ago, has 100 pounds to lose, he is down 20. We were talking about what we are doing, and what we have tried that worked and didn't work, for a few minutes is morning, before he ran off to a meeting. We talk about once a week on this subject.
After he left a woman that sits a few desks away came over and said to me, "I don't understand why you guys are trying to lose weight. You're both old, you're both married, it's not like anyone is going to care."
I am looking at her and looking, trying to see if she was just being a smart *kitten*, or joking, but she was dead serious. I looked at her hands and replied, "is that your second breakfast burrito?" She stood there for a second, then turned red and left. And I am sitting here laughing because I don't know what else to do! How do you respond to that? I barely even know her.
My boss started a diet plan a few months ago, has 100 pounds to lose, he is down 20. We were talking about what we are doing, and what we have tried that worked and didn't work, for a few minutes is morning, before he ran off to a meeting. We talk about once a week on this subject.
After he left a woman that sits a few desks away came over and said to me, "I don't understand why you guys are trying to lose weight. You're both old, you're both married, it's not like anyone is going to care."
I am looking at her and looking, trying to see if she was just being a smart *kitten*, or joking, but she was dead serious. I looked at her hands and replied, "is that your second breakfast burrito?" She stood there for a second, then turned red and left. And I am sitting here laughing because I don't know what else to do! How do you respond to that? I barely even know her.
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Replies
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Co-workers are the worst.
I once had an older woman comment on my weight loss, assuming that I was losing weight to get a guy's attention.
I mean I need a flowchart to explain all the ways that was kind of offensive. Lol.5 -
I think your response was spot-on and perfect!3
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cmtristani wrote: »There's been more than a few posts about stupid things people say to someone on a weight loss plan, but for some reason I never thought it would happen to me. That was dumb...
My boss started a diet plan a few months ago, has 100 pounds to lose, he is down 20. We were talking about what we are doing, and what we have tried that worked and didn't work, for a few minutes is morning, before he ran off to a meeting. We talk about once a week on this subject.
After he left a woman that sits a few desks away came over and said to me, "I don't understand why you guys are trying to lose weight. You're both old, you're both married, it's not like anyone is going to care."
I am looking at her and looking, trying to see if she was just being a smart *kitten*, or joking, but she was dead serious. I looked at her hands and replied, "is that your second breakfast burrito?" She stood there for a second, then turned red and left. And I am sitting here laughing because I don't know what else to do! How do you respond to that? I barely even know her.
CLASS. wish i had been there to see that.2 -
This man beside us also has a hard fight with an unfavouring world, with strong temptations, with doubts and fears, with wounds of the past which have skinned over, but which smart when they are touched. It is a fact, however surprising. And when this occurs to us we are moved to deal kindly with him, to bid him be of good cheer, to let him understand that we are also fighting a battle; we are bound not to irritate him, nor press hardly upon him nor help his lower self.
Ian MacLaren5 -
I agree with @ccrdragon. Doesn't get better than what you said. No need to elaborate or argue.0
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I think for someone who was caught off guard, your response was appropriate & funny.
Hindsight though; maybe she needs to hear why losing weight is better than staying "fat when you are old" she may genuinely be fighting a battle of her own and pointing out what she is eating is detrimental to her - would it upset you if she went home and cried into a bucket of ice cream because of your response?
It is difficult to interact with people when you are unsure what their intentions are & I assure you that she didn't approach you appropriately but maybe you should come up with a standard response that will help you 'communicate your reasoning' or how to kindly tell them to 'mind their own business'2 -
I think for someone who was caught off guard, your response was appropriate & funny.
Hindsight though; maybe she needs to hear why losing weight is better than staying "fat when you are old" she may genuinely be fighting a battle of her own and pointing out what she is eating is detrimental to her - would it upset you if she went home and cried into a bucket of ice cream because of your response?
It is difficult to interact with people when you are unsure what their intentions are & I assure you that she didn't approach you appropriately but maybe you should come up with a standard response that will help you 'communicate your reasoning' or how to kindly tell them to 'mind their own business'
And what if OP had gone home and cried because of her comment?7 -
TavistockToad wrote: »I think for someone who was caught off guard, your response was appropriate & funny.
Hindsight though; maybe she needs to hear why losing weight is better than staying "fat when you are old" she may genuinely be fighting a battle of her own and pointing out what she is eating is detrimental to her - would it upset you if she went home and cried into a bucket of ice cream because of your response?
It is difficult to interact with people when you are unsure what their intentions are & I assure you that she didn't approach you appropriately but maybe you should come up with a standard response that will help you 'communicate your reasoning' or how to kindly tell them to 'mind their own business'
And what if OP had gone home and cried because of her comment?
It obviously upset OP enough to comment on here so I didn't think I needed to go there & what I said in my response wasn't anything negative to OP. I did give a suggestion to come up with a easy response to tell the next person that asks to "mind their own business." I also believe we all have issues we are fighting with which is why I suggested coming up with a reasonable response for those who genuinely want to know. I did also say that the woman's approach toward OP wasn't appropriate.2 -
Perfect response. Loved it. Just right amount of truth, snark, and insight. You must be from the east coast. I would watch my back though. She is probably waiting for you to fall off the wagon.2
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That sounds passive aggressive to me. The lady could have said it a lot better, but she wanted to know why you're dieting when by society's standards you don't have to. You could have told her "for health reasons" and that you already feel better because of it, instead of making her feel bad about herself.3
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I have used the, "stop hating on my fitness and finish your cake" attitude and language a few times.
The one that drives me NUTS at work is the , "Must be nice/wish I had time" excuse people always throw out. There is a stigma that because I make fitness a priority that (apparently) means I have an easy life/job. I just smile and mention various comments about it being okay and that a lot of people are not able to balance their lives.4 -
NorthCascades wrote: »That sounds passive aggressive to me. The lady could have said it a lot better, but she wanted to know why you're dieting when by society's standards you don't have to. You could have told her "for health reasons" and that you already feel better because of it, instead of making her feel bad about herself.
OP didn't make her feel anything. Life is how we take it.6 -
There was an ageism in her comment. I'd have been tempted to shatter her world by disclosing that we old people still have sex.5
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OP, your response made me laugh. I wouldn't have known what to say to that and probably would have laughed at the uncomfortable moment. But I think your response was fine.0
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You don't have to explain a damn thing to anyone. I have never explained my reasons, outside of "because I can."
Your response, to me, was spot on. Though I usually just ignore the crap altogether and carry on.1 -
Thanks everyone for the comments! It had no impact on my mood at all - I have my reasons for what I am doing and that's good enough for me. So far it's been another great day. I think I look pretty good regardless of how old I am. I have things I will continue to improve on, both in my overall health and the way I look. And if her feelings are hurt, well, we are each responsible for our own happiness. How she chooses to feel is up to her.3
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I think for someone who was caught off guard, your response was appropriate & funny.
Hindsight though; maybe she needs to hear why losing weight is better than staying "fat when you are old" she may genuinely be fighting a battle of her own and pointing out what she is eating is detrimental to her - would it upset you if she went home and cried into a bucket of ice cream because of your response?
It is difficult to interact with people when you are unsure what their intentions are & I assure you that she didn't approach you appropriately but maybe you should come up with a standard response that will help you 'communicate your reasoning' or how to kindly tell them to 'mind their own business'
I dunno...I don't think rude people deserve to be "understood"0 -
I think for someone who was caught off guard, your response was appropriate & funny.
Hindsight though; maybe she needs to hear why losing weight is better than staying "fat when you are old" she may genuinely be fighting a battle of her own and pointing out what she is eating is detrimental to her - would it upset you if she went home and cried into a bucket of ice cream because of your response?
It is difficult to interact with people when you are unsure what their intentions are & I assure you that she didn't approach you appropriately but maybe you should come up with a standard response that will help you 'communicate your reasoning' or how to kindly tell them to 'mind their own business'
My go-to line for that is, "Go F*** Yourself."
1
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