Socializing?

Rosemary5991 · August 2016

Sometimes my social anxiety makes me not want to go to the gym. At the same time, I want to find an accountabilibuddy. I go to a yoga class once a week at the YMCA and I used to swim, but I am worried that people might judge my form if it is less than perfect. I know that the people there are generally nice but I still feel nervous. Does anyone else feel like this? What are different methods of getting past it?

CincyNeid · August 2016

1] It's a mental game. People aren't going to judge you. They're not going to criticize you for anything you're doing/not doing. Esp in the pool. The YMCA doesn't have under water cameras for professionals or coaches to monitor your swimming technique.

2] Just go to the gym and focus on you. You're not going for anyone else are you? You're wanting to improve your health and that's all that should matter. If you're that nervous about it take a friend with you on Fridays or Sundays. At least our local YMCA has bring a friend free days on those two days.

heatherheyns · August 2016

I find that if you go enough, people talk to you. I am pretty anti-making friends, but after attending the same workout classes for two months, seeing the same faces, you end up sort of making buddies, people you see each time. Once you do that, you can try to plan specific times, if you want. I just think it sort of happens naturally if you keep going because you see the same faces.

As far as people judging you, don't worry about it. Focus on what you're doing, on improving your own work and form, and try not to notice others. THere will always be people who are faster, or stronger, or better, but you should only compete with yourself.

FrankieandSpots · August 2016

I work out at home now (cheaper) - but when I went to the gym I already had a plan for what I was going to do and I went and did it. I'm not very chatty but I'm polite, everyone else is there with their own stuff to do so you don't really need to interact that much.
Find less busy times - so its not crowded and you don't have to stand around waiting for anything.

You can also make yourself look unavailiable to talk (not meeting peoples eyes, quick nod hello then do something else, wear headphones)

I like exerciseing alongside other people... but not really chatting.

You can always have an online accountabilibuddy, or one over the phone.

I train alone and run alone but I like the IDEA of training with other people. Once its a 'regular', sceduled thing to go to with the same people I think it gets easier - you don't stay the new person.
Having another way of working out where you don't see anyone could be a good backup for times you just want to see anyone.
I head off and run in a local reserve, usually see noone until I'm walking back through the edge of town and I'm usually feeling better/less stressed by then.

cecsav1 · August 2016

Personal choice - but I'm not into socializing at the gym. The ONE person I really enjoy working out with is my dad, because he pushes me to work harder (and, tbh, is impressed by my strength "for a girl" lol). We don't chit chat except for before and after. The biggest problem is, he's more cardio focused, and I'm more resistance focused. Re: judgment, sure, I people watch when I'm doing cardio, but it's generally out of boredom. I'm not there to jusge anyone else, and I've never noticed anyone blatantly judging me. My advice is to ask for help on any exercises you doubt your form on, for purely safety reasons. Go in, do your workout, get out. Don't worry about anyone watching you.

Rosemary5991 · August 2016

heatherheyns wrote: »

I find that if you go enough, people talk to you. I am pretty anti-making friends, but after attending the same workout classes for two months, seeing the same faces, you end up sort of making buddies, people you see each time. Once you do that, you can try to plan specific times, if you want. I just think it sort of happens naturally if you keep going because you see the same faces.

As far as people judging you, don't worry about it. Focus on what you're doing, on improving your own work and form, and try not to notice others. THere will always be people who are faster, or stronger, or better, but you should only compete with yourself.

Thank you. I think this will really help if I just remind myself sometimes.

Leesespieces412 · August 2016

I felt exactly the same way when a friend convinced me to try a Zumba class with her. I was terrified!! But once I got there, I loved it so much I didn't even care anymore. And after a few classes, I would see the "regulars" and we would greet each other and it was comfortable. I also noticed in the gigantic wall mirror while we were dancing that no one was watching anyone else. They were all either looking at themselves (we're all our own worst critic aren't we?) or they were watching the instructor. When you remind yourself that everyone else there is probably feeling exactly as you are and are also afraid everyone is looking at them, you realize that no one actually is.

I also can't remember where I heard this, but it always stuck in my mind; they can make fun of you if they find you in the cookie aisle at the grocery store, but they can't make fun of you for doing the right thing and trying to better yourself. If you can get through feeling insecure for a little while, you eventually won't feel it anymore. You got this!!

AndiJH · August 2016

I used to worry about my form in yoga and spin classes, and at the gym at work, because I was afraid people were judging me, too. But then I realized the only reason to worry about form is actually because proper form will help you improve and lessen the chance of injury.
You do you - it's the only way to truly be in tune with yourself and your body during your workouts, which is SO key to getting the full benefits of yoga!!
As for friends...I've been going to the same spin studio for almost 4 years and I don't really chat with anyone but my instructor. People are nice and the studio is not pretentious at all, I just don't like to chit chat when I'm working it

Rosemary5991 · August 2016

Leesespieces412 wrote: »

I felt exactly the same way when a friend convinced me to try a Zumba class with her. I was terrified!! But once I got there, I loved it so much I didn't even care anymore. And after a few classes, I would see the "regulars" and we would greet each other and it was comfortable. I also noticed in the gigantic wall mirror while we were dancing that no one was watching anyone else. They were all either looking at themselves (we're all our own worst critic aren't we?) or they were watching the instructor. When you remind yourself that everyone else there is probably feeling exactly as you are and are also afraid everyone is looking at them, you realize that no one actually is.

I also can't remember where I heard this, but it always stuck in my mind; they can make fun of you if they find you in the cookie aisle at the grocery store, but they can't make fun of you for doing the right thing and trying to better yourself. If you can get through feeling insecure for a little while, you eventually won't feel it anymore. You got this!!

There are mirrors at my local YMCA as well. I've never really tried to see if anyone else was looking because I was worried they'd notice so that is a relief. Haha

mom22dogs · August 2016

Do you watch other people and judge them? I'm hoping the answer is no, because 99% of the people at the gym don't care about anyone else at the gym. It's all in your head. They aren't watching you, and they aren't judging you.

feisty_bucket · August 2016

marialarosa95 wrote: »

I am worried that people might judge my form if it is less than perfect.

I've been lifting weights at public gyms regularly for the past 15 years. In all that time, somebody has commented on my form _once_. And that's because I was doing some kind of row with crappy form, and the guy said "Yo, you're gonna hurt yourself, that form is really bad." He was totally right (had a rounded back), so I was both surprised and glad somebody said something.

Really, don't worry about it. I can't even remember the last time I saw one stranger comment to another about form; it just doesn't happen much.

Rosemary5991 · August 2016

Thanks to everyone who shared their input. It helps to hear from other people that no one is judging.

HeidiFuture · August 2016

The other people at the gym are not looking at you. They are just as self-conscious as you... Repeat. The other people at the gym are not looking at you. The mirrors are there for people to look at themselves!!

stealthq · August 2016

feisty_bucket wrote: »

marialarosa95 wrote: »

I am worried that people might judge my form if it is less than perfect.

I've been lifting weights at public gyms regularly for the past 15 years. In all that time, somebody has commented on my form _once_. And that's because I was doing some kind of row with crappy form, and the guy said "Yo, you're gonna hurt yourself, that form is really bad." He was totally right (had a rounded back), so I was both surprised and glad somebody said something.

Really, don't worry about it. I can't even remember the last time I saw one stranger comment to another about form; it just doesn't happen much.

Cosign.

Same thing has happened to me except I was doing goblet squats and trying to fix the problem the guy commented on so I could go back to doing back squats with good form. Otherwise, I've never seen anyone comment on form unless they've been paid to do so.

daddyisfat · August 2016

I deal with a great deal of social anxiety, as well. Some good advice I've read in the literature is that the majority of the anxiety is self-originating. When you are feeling anxious, look within and ask "why" you're feeling that way. If you think people are taking about you, ask yourself, "are they really taking about me?" "Could they be talking about something else?" I recommend you research the condition and possible compensating mechanisms.
Best of luck.

Socializing?

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