We are pleased to announce that as of March 4, 2025, an updated Rich Text Editor has been introduced in the MyFitnessPal Community. To learn more about the changes, please click here. We look forward to sharing this new feature with you!
Right or wrong
Friend of mine posted on FB that she went to see a concert of one of her favorite artists with her husband. They had to sit way up, so while they could hear, music wasn't too loud.
As the concert starts and goes on, two females in front of them start singing along with all the music loud enough that it disrupts my friend and husband from hearing the artist sing.
After a few songs, husband politely asks the females in front to sing a little softer so they can hear the concert. Females didn't oblige, so husband went to an usher and asked either to be moved or have the females quiet down. Usher told females to be respectful of others and keep the volume of their singing down. Of course when the usher left, the females were quiet for a little bit, but then again started singing loud. After being reported again, they got vocal with the husband and of course arguing ensued. From there, my friend and husband left.
So were they right or wrong? Many of her friends are split on it.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
As the concert starts and goes on, two females in front of them start singing along with all the music loud enough that it disrupts my friend and husband from hearing the artist sing.
After a few songs, husband politely asks the females in front to sing a little softer so they can hear the concert. Females didn't oblige, so husband went to an usher and asked either to be moved or have the females quiet down. Usher told females to be respectful of others and keep the volume of their singing down. Of course when the usher left, the females were quiet for a little bit, but then again started singing loud. After being reported again, they got vocal with the husband and of course arguing ensued. From there, my friend and husband left.
So were they right or wrong? Many of her friends are split on it.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
0
Replies
-
What kind of concert is it? Like a classical music concert? If it's any sort of modern popular music, a certain amount of singing, dancing, loudness is to be expected. Even the performers tend to prefer the audience sing/dance rather than sit there like bumps on logs. He should buy closer seats or deal with it.
At a movie or play...people should be quiet. At a concert, a certain degree of loudness is to be expected.0 -
Luke Bryan? I don't listen to country, so I don't know anything about him. I don't disagree that there will be a certain amount of loudness, but hearing the people singing in front of you louder than the artist in kinda inconsiderate if you ask me. Especially when asked if they could just tone it down a little.What kind of concert is it? Like a classical music concert? If it's any sort of modern popular music, a certain amount of singing, dancing, loudness is to be expected. Even the performers tend to prefer the audience sing/dance rather than sit there like bumps on logs. He should buy closer seats or deal with it.
At a movie or play...people should be quiet. At a concert, a certain degree of loudness is to be expected.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition 0 -
Your friends didn't do anything wrong at all. If Led Zep reunited and I got tickets, I'd really want to hear Robert Plant and Jimmy Page. If two old hags were belting out All Of My Love while I was trying to hear the real deal, I'd be devastated.
The scenario you describe is the reason why so many cinemas have downsized or gone out of business. People don't want to go anymore, for reasons similar to this.
yeah, a lot like this ^
Going to a cinema to watch a movie on the big screen? No thanks; I still go but not as often as in the past, not even close. My set-up at home is pretty good, I can watch a movie on my time and I don't have to worry about some knucklehead ruining the event.
As for the concert... he was within his right to complain but obviously it did little good.
I was at a movie last year and a lady had her smart phone on while sitting in the row in directly in front of us. The gent next to me asked her to turn it off and she did. Had she turned it back on, I was prepared to have a tragic soda and popcorn spilling accident directly over her seat.0 -
I wonder if this is a generational thing. With complete respect, I noticed that most of the people commenting are over 40. As a member of the under 30 crowd, the idea that anyone would ask someone to quiet down at A CONCERT is laughable.
Although it is typically important to me to be respectful of others and aware of the impact I'm having on others in public spaces, if someone asked to be quiet at A CONCERT I probably also wouldn't listen. From my point of view, if you want to hear the music perfectly, go listen to the album. If I'm at a concert, I want an experience. And depending on the artist/who I'm with, that might include singing and dancing. And since I paid for my ticket just as you did, I'm not required to put your "good time" above my own.
Cinemas, theaters, coffee shops, nice restaurants....are another story. People should be quieter and respectful of others.
But concerts and sporting events (assuming it's not golf or something calm) are two places where loudness are expected.2 -
I like the theater I go to now. It has tables on the seats and they electrically recline too. They are also further apart from each other so you can't see what the people in front of you are doing.Motorsheen wrote: »Your friends didn't do anything wrong at all. If Led Zep reunited and I got tickets, I'd really want to hear Robert Plant and Jimmy Page. If two old hags were belting out All Of My Love while I was trying to hear the real deal, I'd be devastated.
The scenario you describe is the reason why so many cinemas have downsized or gone out of business. People don't want to go anymore, for reasons similar to this.
yeah, a lot like this ^
Going to a cinema to watch a movie on the big screen? No thanks; I still go but not as often as in the past, not even close. My set-up at home is pretty good, I can watch a movie on my time and I don't have to worry about some knucklehead ruining the event.
As for the concert... he was within his right to complain but obviously it did little good.
I was at a movie last year and a lady had her smart phone on while sitting in the row in directly in front of us. The gent next to me asked her to turn it off and she did. Had she turned it back on, I was prepared to have a tragic soda and popcorn spilling accident directly over her seat.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition 3 -
I like the theater I go to now. It has tables on the seats and they electrically recline too. They are also further apart from each other so you can't see what the people in front of you are doing.Motorsheen wrote: »Your friends didn't do anything wrong at all. If Led Zep reunited and I got tickets, I'd really want to hear Robert Plant and Jimmy Page. If two old hags were belting out All Of My Love while I was trying to hear the real deal, I'd be devastated.
The scenario you describe is the reason why so many cinemas have downsized or gone out of business. People don't want to go anymore, for reasons similar to this.
yeah, a lot like this ^
Going to a cinema to watch a movie on the big screen? No thanks; I still go but not as often as in the past, not even close. My set-up at home is pretty good, I can watch a movie on my time and I don't have to worry about some knucklehead ruining the event.
As for the concert... he was within his right to complain but obviously it did little good.
I was at a movie last year and a lady had her smart phone on while sitting in the row in directly in front of us. The gent next to me asked her to turn it off and she did. Had she turned it back on, I was prepared to have a tragic soda and popcorn spilling accident directly over her seat.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Snob much?1 -
Everyone was wrong but your friends need to realize its a country rock concert and if people singing and yelling bothers them they shouldn't have gone. Have said that if the women singing we're doing it to annoy your friends then they are *kitten*2
-
I've been to many concerts (my ex was radio DJ) and know how loud it can get along with dancing etc., but there are many concert venues where artist sing ballads and the crowd actually listens rather than sings. So after looking at the code of conduct at Oracle arena, it does say to be respectful of those around you. She didn't ask them to be entirely quiet, just to tone down the volume so she could enjoy the artist singing. Not unreasonable. According to the code of ethics, the usher could have given them (the girls) a card with a warning of disruption and if they continued, they could be ejected. I think my friend left possibly because they may have felt that their evening was disrupted already. They don't get to go out often with each other so I empathize with her.I wonder if this is a generational thing. With complete respect, I noticed that most of the people commenting are over 40. As a member of the under 30 crowd, the idea that anyone would ask someone to quiet down at A CONCERT is laughable.
Although it is typically important to me to be respectful of others and aware of the impact I'm having on others in public spaces, if someone asked to be quiet at A CONCERT I probably also wouldn't listen. From my point of view, if you want to hear the music perfectly, go listen to the album. If I'm at a concert, I want an experience. And depending on the artist/who I'm with, that might include singing and dancing. And since I paid for my ticket just as you did, I'm not required to put your "good time" above my own.
Cinemas, theaters, coffee shops, nice restaurants....are another story. People should be quieter and respectful of others.
But concerts and sporting events (assuming it's not golf or something calm) are two places where loudness are expected.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
1 -
but there are many concert venues where artist sing ballads and the crowd actually listens rather than sings
I've been to a Luke Bryan concert before (not my proudest life achievement), and he repeatedly asks the audience to "sing along" and "sing louder." Luke Bryan isn't the type of show were people listen rather than sing.So after looking at the code of conduct at Oracle arena, it does say to be respectful of those around you. She didn't ask them to be entirely quiet, just to tone down the volume so she could enjoy the artist singing. Not unreasonable. According to the code of ethics, the usher could have given them (the girls) a card with a warning of disruption and if they continued, they could be ejected. I think my friend left possibly because they may have felt that their evening was disrupted already.
And "respectful" is a somewhat subjective concept. I don't consider singing somewhat loudly at A CONCERT disrespectful. In fact, I think it is firmly within the realm of acceptable behavior. You do see it as disrespectful. It's subjective.
It sucks that your friends felt forced to leave. But if your friends' enjoyment of the concert was so fickle, they should have chosen better seats. Or been more adaptable and simply moved. It's usually easy to move to another row once a concert has started; as long as your'e not moving down really close, they rarely notice.
We can agree to disagree
But I'm still pegging you as having old-fart concert views 
1 -
Smartest thing they did was leave . Who would got to a luke bryan concert lol.6
-
It's a country concert. Of course people are going to sing. Now, the girls should probably have tried to be a bit more quiet, but I'm not sure what your friend was expecting...0
-
I'm thinking I paid to hear the artist, not the two women in front. I think your friends were right.0
-
In defense, that's not the type of concerts I attend. My last concert was Boyz II Men and EVERYONE was singing and dancing, so I'm fine with it. But if I was standing up and blocking the person's view behind me and they asked me to sit down, I would oblige.but there are many concert venues where artist sing ballads and the crowd actually listens rather than sings
I've been to a Luke Bryan concert before (not my proudest life achievement), and he repeatedly asks the audience to "sing along" and "sing louder." Luke Bryan isn't the type of show were people listen rather than sing.So after looking at the code of conduct at Oracle arena, it does say to be respectful of those around you. She didn't ask them to be entirely quiet, just to tone down the volume so she could enjoy the artist singing. Not unreasonable. According to the code of ethics, the usher could have given them (the girls) a card with a warning of disruption and if they continued, they could be ejected. I think my friend left possibly because they may have felt that their evening was disrupted already.
And "respectful" is a somewhat subjective concept. I don't consider singing somewhat loudly at A CONCERT disrespectful. In fact, I think it is firmly within the realm of acceptable behavior. You do see it as disrespectful. It's subjective.
It sucks that your friends felt forced to leave. But if your friends' enjoyment of the concert was so fickle, they should have chosen better seats. Or been more adaptable and simply moved. It's usually easy to move to another row once a concert has started; as long as your'e not moving down really close, they rarely notice.
We can agree to disagree But I'm still pegging you as having old-fart concert views
Also if the usher went to talk to them, then it's likely not that subjective. Especially since the females quieted down initially.
I've discussed this with client who stated she did what she wanted (singing and dancing) and was eventually ejected from the event due to insubordination.
I'm all for people having fun. But not everyone has fun the same way.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
0 -
This content has been removed.
-
Everyone's "book" is different. And tools? They did request them to be a bit quieter first. A considerate person would have attempted to make the request. But hey, not everyone is considerate of others around them.The girls singing paid for their experience just as your friends did. Annoying? Perhaps. Worth going to the usher over? Not in my book. Your friends sound like tools.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
0 -
I'm curious OP...why ask the question if you'd already decided the answer before you asked? O_o And then you imply that people who don't agree with you are "inconsiderate."
Just wanted to see/hear yourself argue? And, of course, you have to have the last word on everything
Typical MFP 3 -
Tough one.0
-
It was a Luke Bryan concert, the best thing they could do was sing over him.
In all seriousness, was this their first country music concert? I've been to a few of them and it's just expected everyone's going to be loud.2 -
Seeing other's opinions. I never stated people who don't agree are inconsiderate. I stated people who are asked to be considerate (even by an usher) and don't aren't.I'm curious OP...why ask the question if you'd already decided the answer before you asked? O_o And then you imply that people who don't agree with you are "inconsiderate."
Just wanted to see/hear yourself argue? And, of course, you have to have the last word on everything
Typical MFP
If it were you that were asked by the usher, would you oblige?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
0 -
No idea if it was or not. Many concert events are loud, but if she can hear the people in front of her more than the artist on a song she'd like to listen to, is it bad to ask to tone it down a little?Caporegiem wrote: »It was a Luke Bryan concert, the best thing they could do was sing over him.
In all seriousness, was this their first country music concert? I've been to a few of them and it's just expected everyone's going to be loud.
Again, me I like a loud concert. I like a loud football game. But I wouldn't tolerate someone in the stands maliciously berating a visiting team member with say their kids there watching. I'd likely say to that person to be cool and that's it's game for both sides to try to enjoy. If they didn't comply, I'd get an usher. I've been to too many games where as mentioned above where if someone is provoked enough, something bad happens. And most fans don't like it either.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
0 -
Sorry, that was meaner in tone than I meant it to be. But I just meant that the thread doesn't seem very "discussion" friendly when you respond to every response with dissent.If it were you that were asked by the usher, would you oblige?
The usher is not some objective judge of what is or isn't reasonable behavior. He's just a minimum wage employee who's trying to oblige the nark and avoid conflict.
So, no. If I felt like I was acting reasonable in a concert environment and that quieting down would limit my fun, I would not oblige.
There are certain places where others should oblige you your due comfort (again...movie theaters, restaurants, airplanes, coffee shops, waiting rooms, plays) and then there are other places that are meant to be a bit chaotic (like concerts). The expectation is that people might sing, dance, stand, hold their phone/signs up. It might not always be comfortable, and you need to adapt. That's the social norm of a concert environment.
People who ask others to quiet down, squat, or sit at concerts are acting entitled to a level of comfort in a space where they are not entitled to it. It's equally inconsiderate to expect others to conform their behavior to your desires/expectations regardless of social norms.
I can't help but think that anyone who thinks that singing somewhat loudly at a concert is not acceptable behavior is either older or doesn't go to concerts often. (Or they're the annoying complain-y people at concerts that everyone hates).
2 -
Dammit.... I'm tryna leave, but I keep getting sucked inMany concert events are loud, but if she can hear the people in front of her more than the artist on a song she'd like to listen to, is it bad to ask to tone it down a little?
To be honest, it seems like maybe they should complain to the venue about the acoustics. You should be able to still hear the artist somewhat even with loud singers. But look up concert footage that people take with their cellphones on YouTube. You'll see many clips when you can hear people singing over the music. Honestly, that's just how people behave at concerts...
Is it bad to ask them to tone it down a little? Nah. Maybe a lil annoying.
But it's unreasonable to expect them to do so. And douche-y to get the usher involved.Again, me I like a loud concert. I like a loud football game. But I wouldn't tolerate someone in the stands maliciously berating a visiting team member with say their kids there watching. I'd likely say to that person to be cool and that's it's game for both sides to try to enjoy. If they didn't comply, I'd get an usher. I've been to too many games where as mentioned above where if someone is provoked enough, something bad happens. And most fans don't like it either.
But this is a good alternative example. In this case, the guy is being abusive, aggressive. He's outside the social norms of positive fan behavior. He should tone it down. If he doesn't, it's fine to get an usher.
The girls at the concert, on the other hand, are just trying to be fans (sing loudly like the artist wants them to) and enjoy the concert.0 -
I think we'll both agree the "reasonable" is subjective. I believe some requests aren't reasonable, but I saw nothing wrong with this one. I did make a suggestion that the next time she goes, get the free listening devices for the hearing impaired that way she won't miss anything.Sorry, that was meaner in tone than I meant it to be. But I just meant that the thread doesn't seem very "discussion" friendly when you respond to every response with dissent.If it were you that were asked by the usher, would you oblige?
The usher is not some objective judge of what is or isn't reasonable behavior. He's just a minimum wage employee who's trying to oblige the nark and avoid conflict.
So, no. If I felt like I was acting reasonable in a concert environment and that quieting down would limit my fun, I would not oblige.
I don't disagree here.There are certain places where others should oblige you your due comfort (again...movie theaters, restaurants, airplanes, coffee shops, waiting rooms, plays) and then there are other places that are meant to be a bit chaotic (like concerts). The expectation is that people might sing, dance, stand, hold their phone/signs up. It might not always be comfortable, and you need to adapt. That's the social norm of a concert environment.
So if you sat behind people taller than you that stood through a whole concert and you couldn't see the artist or stage, you'd just suck it up?People who ask others to quiet down, squat, or sit at concerts are acting entitled to a level of comfort in a space where they are not entitled to it. It's equally inconsiderate to expect others to conform their behavior to your desires/expectations regardless of social norms.
quote]I can't help but think that anyone who thinks that singing somewhat loudly at a concert is not acceptable behavior is either older or doesn't go to concerts often. (Or they're the annoying complain-y people at concerts that everyone hates).
[/quote] I don't know how many concerts she's been to, so I can't say. Long as I've known her, I've never viewed her as annoying or complaining. I guess someone in their 50's is considered older nowadays?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition 0 -
Funny, I have never been at a concert where anyone could drown out the main act. Have to almost shout in the ear of the person I am there with to have a conversation.1
-
Luckily for me, I've never had to experience it. I have stood up at concerts (where people in front of me were sitting) and have been asked to sit down and I obliged. I'm kinda hyper like that.Dammit.... I'm tryna leave, but I keep getting sucked inMany concert events are loud, but if she can hear the people in front of her more than the artist on a song she'd like to listen to, is it bad to ask to tone it down a little?
To be honest, it seems like maybe they should complain to the venue about the acoustics. You should be able to still hear the artist somewhat even with loud singers. But look up concert footage that people take with their cellphones on YouTube. You'll see many clips when you can hear people singing over the music. Honestly, that's just how people behave at concerts...
Is it bad to ask them to tone it down a little? Nah. Maybe a lil annoying.
But it's unreasonable to expect them to do so. And douche-y to get the usher involved.Again, me I like a loud concert. I like a loud football game. But I wouldn't tolerate someone in the stands maliciously berating a visiting team member with say their kids there watching. I'd likely say to that person to be cool and that's it's game for both sides to try to enjoy. If they didn't comply, I'd get an usher. I've been to too many games where as mentioned above where if someone is provoked enough, something bad happens. And most fans don't like it either.
All the concerts I've been to, people do the same and I've not had an issue. Believe me, I get what you're saying and agree with most of it. If I was asked a reasonable request, I oblige because that's just me.But this is a good alternative example. In this case, the guy is being abusive, aggressive. He's outside the social norms of positive fan behavior. He should tone it down. If he doesn't, it's fine to get an usher.
The girls at the concert, on the other hand, are just trying to be fans (sing loudly like the artist wants them to) and enjoy the concert.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
0 -
This content has been removed.
-
So if you sat behind people taller than you that stood through a whole concert and you couldn't see the artist or stage, you'd just suck it up?
Short answer - Yes
Whenever you choose to go someplace where other people will be, as long as they are not doing anything illegal or against the venue policies, they can do whatever they choose to do. I can either suck it up or go home or buy them drinks to stop what they are doing that I dislike.
I find most people are very reasonable when you negotiate with adequate incentives.0 -
Luckily for me, I've never had to experience it. I have stood up at concerts (where people in front of me were sitting) and have been asked to sit down and I obliged. I'm kinda hyper like that.Dammit.... I'm tryna leave, but I keep getting sucked inMany concert events are loud, but if she can hear the people in front of her more than the artist on a song she'd like to listen to, is it bad to ask to tone it down a little?
To be honest, it seems like maybe they should complain to the venue about the acoustics. You should be able to still hear the artist somewhat even with loud singers. But look up concert footage that people take with their cellphones on YouTube. You'll see many clips when you can hear people singing over the music. Honestly, that's just how people behave at concerts...
Is it bad to ask them to tone it down a little? Nah. Maybe a lil annoying.
But it's unreasonable to expect them to do so. And douche-y to get the usher involved.Again, me I like a loud concert. I like a loud football game. But I wouldn't tolerate someone in the stands maliciously berating a visiting team member with say their kids there watching. I'd likely say to that person to be cool and that's it's game for both sides to try to enjoy. If they didn't comply, I'd get an usher. I've been to too many games where as mentioned above where if someone is provoked enough, something bad happens. And most fans don't like it either.
All the concerts I've been to, people do the same and I've not had an issue. Believe me, I get what you're saying and agree with most of it. If I was asked a reasonable request, I oblige because that's just me.But this is a good alternative example. In this case, the guy is being abusive, aggressive. He's outside the social norms of positive fan behavior. He should tone it down. If he doesn't, it's fine to get an usher.
The girls at the concert, on the other hand, are just trying to be fans (sing loudly like the artist wants them to) and enjoy the concert.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
asking someone to not sing or sing quieter at a concert is NOT a reasonable request.0 -
it's very rude to sign that loudly at a concert. People paid to hear the performer not some random fans. If it were me I would have continued to get the usher each time they got louder then the music. Sing along fine, but not so loud that people can't hear the performer.1
-
I'd pay them to switch seats.Jonesingmucho wrote: »So if you sat behind people taller than you that stood through a whole concert and you couldn't see the artist or stage, you'd just suck it up?
Short answer - Yes
Whenever you choose to go someplace where other people will be, as long as they are not doing anything illegal or against the venue policies, they can do whatever they choose to do. I can either suck it up or go home or buy them drinks to stop what they are doing that I dislike.
I find most people are very reasonable when you negotiate with adequate incentives.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition 0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 394.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 260.5K Health and Weight Loss
- 176.1K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 393 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153.1K Motivation and Support
- 8.1K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 4K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 1.2K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.7K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions