Silly quotes

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cee134
cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
edited August 2016 in Chit-Chat
If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you’re in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don’t know what to tell you.
-Jack Handey

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  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    edited August 2016
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    To me, it’s always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, “Hey, can you give me a hand?,” you can say, “Sorry, got these sacks.”
    -Jack Handey
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
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    If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you’ll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
    -Jack Handey
  • Tomm88
    Tomm88 Posts: 733 Member
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    "If she has a dirty fanny you'll have dirty sex"
    My old science teacher.... we were 11
  • CincyNeid
    CincyNeid Posts: 1,249 Member
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    Baseball all wrong, how can man with 4 balls walk.
    -Ancient Chinese Proverb
  • CincyNeid
    CincyNeid Posts: 1,249 Member
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    Man With Hole in pocket feel cocky all day
    -Ancient Chinese Proverb
  • CincyNeid
    CincyNeid Posts: 1,249 Member
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    Ya'll can use a lot of screws to build a baby crib, but just one good nail to fill it
    -Redneck word of advice.
  • Tomm88
    Tomm88 Posts: 733 Member
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    Louise1491 wrote: »
    Tomm88 wrote: »
    "If she has a dirty fanny you'll have dirty sex"
    My old science teacher.... we were 11
    :o
    Yup pretty much the face we all made
  • Riffraft1960
    Riffraft1960 Posts: 1,984 Member
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    I have two favorites from my 11th grade English teacher (Mr. Queener). And even though it was 40 years ago, I still remember them.

    Do not quest for the euphoria of certitude in the field of human endeavors.

    and

    Do not wallow in the quagmires of obfuscation (when we would try to BS an answer in class)
  • Bucknutz247
    Bucknutz247 Posts: 224 Member
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    "Don't let your meat loaf".
    My dad

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