Relationship issues amidst nursing school and wanting to lose weight

Options
deileen5434
deileen5434 Posts: 5 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hi everyone,
I'm sorry if this topic isn't appropriate or whatnot. I just need advice.

I started dating this guy three months ago. Things were perfect in the beginning. We broke up, and now we are trying to fix things and see if there is a future for us.

The other day, I told him that I wanted to start working out and he basically demanded that I do it with him.
I'm in nursing school right now, my last year, and my time is very limited. There is a gym at my school that I want to use because it is most convenient for me. I graduate nursing school in May. He doesn't want me to work out without him.

In addition, I've decided that I want to make a certain career choice and go into a certain field of nursing. I told him, he immediately googled it, and gave me an ultimatum about whatever future we have together. He said "if your life is going to be consumed by work, if you're working too much, I don't see a point in staying around"

I'm honestly unsure of what to make of these statements or if I even want to pursue a relationship with someone who gives ultimatums like that based on what they find on Google. He also gets angry when I do anything without telling him about it.

I've tried to end things for good but part of me just can't let go.

Any opinions or advice?
«1

Replies

  • Thisnameischosen_
    Thisnameischosen_ Posts: 619 Member
    edited August 2016
    Options
    Pfft. End it. 3 months in and he's acting like this?? People are usually on their best behaviour at the beginning of a relationship.. can you imagine what he'll be like in a years time?? RUN!!
  • deileen5434
    deileen5434 Posts: 5 Member
    Options
    vespiquenn wrote: »
    You're three months into a relationship, but not really because you've already broken up before, and he's giving you ultimatums on your health and job. Yeah, real winner.

    Read your post out loud and realize how asinine it sounds. He's controlling. Abort immediately.

    It is incredibly asinine. I can't have any sort of life of my own.

  • kate141987
    kate141987 Posts: 513 Member
    Options
    If he's like this after only 3 months what else is he going to give ultimatums on in the future ? Are you comfortable with that? Do you think he is doing these things out of love or care about you or for his own selfish reasons ?

    He might also be testing you to see how far he can go, you might decide to shape your life around him and his demands then he might walk away.

    You should do whatever you feel comfortable with, if there are any alarm bells going off listen to them. If he really has feelings for you the relationship wouldn't hinge on ultimatums. Try to find out his relationship history if possible, I'd take things slowly if I were you.
  • vespiquenn
    vespiquenn Posts: 1,455 Member
    edited August 2016
    Options
    deileen5434 wrote: »
    vespiquenn wrote: »
    You're three months into a relationship, but not really because you've already broken up before, and he's giving you ultimatums on your health and job. Yeah, real winner.

    Read your post out loud and realize how asinine it sounds. He's controlling. Abort immediately.

    It is incredibly asinine. I can't have any sort of life of my own.

    Then why is it even an issue? I understand being hung up on a person, but not when they're a *kitten* (fill in the blank).
  • sunnybeaches105
    sunnybeaches105 Posts: 2,831 Member
    Options
    You're only three months in, you've already broken up once, he's at ultimatum stage, and you're confused about whether you should just end it?

    We can't tell much from over the internet, and there's always two sides to a relationship and whatnot, but one thing comes through loud and clear, you two are not compatible.
  • deileen5434
    deileen5434 Posts: 5 Member
    Options
    vespiquenn wrote: »
    deileen5434 wrote: »
    vespiquenn wrote: »
    You're three months into a relationship, but not really because you've already broken up before, and he's giving you ultimatums on your health and job. Yeah, real winner.

    Read your post out loud and realize how asinine it sounds. He's controlling. Abort immediately.

    It is incredibly asinine. I can't have any sort of life of my own.

    Then why is it even an issue? I understand being hung up on a person, but not when they're a *kitten* (fill in the blank).

    Oh, I know. I can't explain it really. I'm just hung up on him. But everyone reaches that point where enough is enough. I'm definitely there.
  • Shells918
    Shells918 Posts: 1,070 Member
    Options
    Don't walk, RUN from this guy. He has control freak written all over him. If he's like this 3 months in and you've already broken up, picture 3 years from now. He'll be telling you what to wear, who you can talk to and when....
  • deileen5434
    deileen5434 Posts: 5 Member
    Options
    Louise1491 wrote: »
    End it, this is a new relationship, it'll only get worse from here, soon it'll be "you can't wear that, you can't see that friends" I've been there.
    Go make a great career for yourself and find someone who will be good to you.

    I'm glad to get input from someone who has been in the same situation.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
    edited August 2016
    Options
    youre 3 months in, have already broken up once and essentially allowing him to tell you what to do?

    no *kitten* way.

    Probably giving more info than needed here, but Sir and I are in a Dom/sub relationship. He has control over a lot of what I do, but that comes with MY consent, and there are things (hard limits) he can NOT control or NOT make me do (my gym habits, appearance and friends being in that). Also, me working and what I do. I can choose to work or not. Lots more, but thats all thats relevant to this thread LOL Now, this is not how most of society works, but someone trying to control you, without your CONSENT is a MAJOR no go, even for those of us in alternative lifestyles.

    Get out now. Your boyfriend sounds like my ex, and that was 20 years of HELL.
  • Sarc_Warrior
    Sarc_Warrior Posts: 430 Member
    Options
    Kick him to the curb
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
    Options
    You're only 3 months into this and he's acting like this?

    Lose the guy.
  • MicahPsencik
    MicahPsencik Posts: 129 Member
    Options
    too close to home right now....will only say make your relationship part of your life, make time for it and please don't cheat on him.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
    edited August 2016
    Options
    MicahPsencik wrote: »
    too close to home right now....will only say make your relationship part of your life, make time for it and please don't cheat on him.

    no, she needs to kick his narcissistic *kitten* to the curb and live her life for HER and not some *kitten* with an over inflated sense of self importance and control issues....

  • ErikaHope203
    ErikaHope203 Posts: 113 Member
    Options
    This relationship sounds destined for problems :( He sounds extremely controlling! You should think about whether that is the type of person you could see yourself being with. Becoming a nurse is a very selfless and respectable thing. You should be proud of what you've accomplished so far!! ☺️ I think you need to find someone who respects what you do and also respects your space. I think this paints a picture of what your future with him would look like....anyway, good luck to you!! :)
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
    edited August 2016
    Options
    MicahPsencik wrote: »
    too close to home right now....will only say make your relationship part of your life, make time for it and please don't cheat on him.

    F him, if he is going to try and tell her what to do now its NOT going to get any better this is red flag #1 of a controlling,abusive person,next he will tell you you cant work@X,you cant hang around with X(including family),he will then most likely start with name calling(if he hasnt already) by breaking down your self esteem so you can rely on him and him only,he has control issues,run fast and far,it doesnt usually take long for the physical abuse to start,mental and verbal is usually first.she should be making time for herself. there is no relationship here.he should be wanting her to better herself and make something of herself not hold her back or down. he only cares about himself and its time for her to get out while she can. a relationship is when two people can come to a compromise on things and not one telling the other what they should or shouldnt do because it wont be benefiting the other partner in any way.
  • gcibsthom
    gcibsthom Posts: 30,138 Member
    Options
    Dump him. If he doesn't care about your career, he doesn't care about you. He is only into this for his own self-interest....Dump....
  • MicahPsencik
    MicahPsencik Posts: 129 Member
    Options
    MicahPsencik wrote: »
    too close to home right now....will only say make your relationship part of your life, make time for it and please don't cheat on him.

    ...that statement was assuming he was willing to be open and communicate, make sacrifices and compromises....and yes not give ultimatums. He might be scared of losing you and sees you progressing without him, by working out, the job, school...he has to communicate calmly and listen not just spew emotion everywhere.

Categories