To Lose or Not to Lose, To Worry or Not to Worry

Options
TLB86
TLB86 Posts: 275 Member
edited August 2016 in Health and Weight Loss
My brain has so many questions, ideas, scenarios and it's driving me crazy!!! :s

So I've been On, Off, On, Off MFP at the moment. Up to a loss of 2 stone (give or take) which is bully bob since I've been a member of MFP since 2012. I have gone from a UK size 20 to a UK size 14, which I thought was my 'woop there is it' moment but now I am thinking... Hmmm.. a 12 maybe???

No I haven't put any back on, minus holidays etc, and I am more educated these days to a healthy lifestyle but I am getting to a point where I feel happy with myself no matter if I lose any more (I know ideally I should be losing another 1st at least). However the minute I stop logging I feel awful again and concerned I'm going to put it all back on!! I love living and having a few social drinks but then beat myself up and think well I can't have another night out for a while now.

It's getting exhausting worrying about weight (have been since primary school now 30). I've upped my weights routine to 2-3x to see if that helps. I have also upped my calorie deficit to 1700 from 1500 to see if I can start to lose slower but then I think am I eating to many carbs now?

I know you've all heard it before so I understand if you shout at me, roll your eyes or just walk on by (starts singing Dionne Warwick... B) ) but I just can't turn my brain off!!

Arghh....

Replies

  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,287 Member
    Options
    try meditating for 10 minutes a day.. calm the mind.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    edited August 2016
    Options
    I have been struggling with weight "all my life" too; even when I wasn't overweight or gaining weight, I worried about it. For me, MFP has been a gamechanger. I understand that you are still battling with that "old" framework - you feel you have to eat right, right? Try to let it go. Aim to find a way of eating that you enjoy - deeply enjoy; foods and meals you like so much that you are satisfied, truly satisfied, with appropriate portions, and choose foods that provide you with fuel to go about your day - and overeating becomes meaningless. This way of eating is free of worry and guilt, and it also lets you lose and maintain your weight effortlessly.

    Also decide if one size smaller is worth the additional effort - you will have to eat less to maintain a lower weight.
  • VintageFeline
    VintageFeline Posts: 6,771 Member
    Options
    I sort of get this. My initial goal was to lose my "breakdown" weight which would take me to about a UK 14. But then I discovered how committed I was to this that it seemed kind of ludicrous to not try to get into a healthy BMI while at the same time really commit to looking like the fitness freak I've become, heh.

    The goal posts change, and that's okay. And there's no reason to think you can't lose for a month, maintain for a month ad infinitum, until you feel like you've got to where you want to be. You could also set your goals to maintain so you can see how much or how little the odd night out is impacting your goals, I'd guess not very much.

    Oh and don't worry about carbs! If you're within your calories carry on, food is for enjoying.
  • HeidiFuture
    HeidiFuture Posts: 54 Member
    Options
    I spent my 20's obsessing/worrying about my weight. What a waste of time. I could have been working on real goals. NOW I wish I was that weight! I thought I was so fat-- I wasn't! I'm now 36 and have gained loads of weight since moving to a new city. NOW I really have weight to lose.... So my point is that stressing this much about your weight is a waste of spiritual and emotional energy. If you want to lose some weight, decrease your calories overall. Have some nights out, but other days eat less. :)
  • LEAS86
    LEAS86 Posts: 144 Member
    Options
    I get this.
    I've been a serial dieter for most of my life. At 5ft 11 and broad I've always been "big" compared to friends etc. and have weighed everything from 10st 4lbs (a loooong time ago!) to 12st 10.

    Started this time at 12st 5lbs and set my goal weight at 11st 4lbs initially, then I thought about it a bit more, realised I was getting quite into it, and decided to try and get down to 10st 10lbs. Today I've hit my initial goal and I'm OK with myself but not quite there yet.....

    I'd like to think I'll stop logging at some point but I think that the reality is that if I don't want to yo yo I will always have to weigh in weekly and be mindful of what I'm eating. That's not to say that there won't be blow out days, nights out and treats as and when....I'll just make sure that I get back into more healthy ways quickly rather than beating myself up and thinking that I've ruined it now so I may as well just keep eating! It's a lot easier to manage a 2-3lb gain than it is a 10lb one that sneaks up because I was too afraid to get on the scales.

    For what it's worth, you look great and a 2 stone loss is awesome. Give yourself a break, try the higher calories and see how you get on.
  • TLB86
    TLB86 Posts: 275 Member
    Options
    Thank you so much for all your replies and support. I really love how MFP gives us a community to depend of if needed whether we personally know each other or not <3

    Everyone says different things about what my calorie deficit should be and having been on a low one for so long I think being on a higher calorie intake it may wake up my body a little and give it a shock it needs. Don't get me wrong I am working out 4xwk and like I say upped my weights to 2-3xwk (2 some weeks).

    Life is more about being happy and enjoying being yourself, which I never thought I'd hear myself saying. I also never thought I'd see myself in am mirror and say 'Hey Me' rather than ' Urghh'. It just makes me feel a failure when I've only lost 2st in 3 years but some people smash 4, 6, 10st. My Mr and I love life and enjoying it so I need to accept that there are going to be gains but like you say, I need to shrug it off and continue.

    I think I need to start looking at my sugar intake also in respects to yogurts and cereal. I had some Greek yogurt the other day but the sugar was so high. The same with some granola's!

    Anyway I will stick with it and again THANK YOU :*
  • sllm1
    sllm1 Posts: 2,114 Member
    Options
    Yes, I would certainly continue but with a much smaller calorie deficit. Think of it as a transition into maintenance, even.

    I am currently doing just that. I'm at 145 and trying to get to 140 to see where to go from there, but I'm in no hurry. I aim for a small (250 cal) deficit and train hard.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
    Options
    I've been on maintenance for most of the year, to give myself a break.

    Take the time you need, find the point that works for you so you dont stress over it but still feel like youre making SOME (even if very slow) movement towards your goals.

  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    edited August 2016
    Options
    TLB86 wrote: »
    My brain has so many questions, ideas, scenarios and it's driving me crazy!!! :s

    So I've been On, Off, On, Off MFP at the moment. Up to a loss of 2 stone (give or take) which is bully bob since I've been a member of MFP since 2012. I have gone from a UK size 20 to a UK size 14, which I thought was my 'woop there is it' moment but now I am thinking... Hmmm.. a 12 maybe???

    Brits have funny expressions. :)

    You aren't eating too many carbs if you are really under 1700-1500 calories a day. You may be eating to many refined carbs and added refined sugars, but that should still be ok if you stay at your kcal goal.

    If you make it a lifestyle change, than you will be eating healthy, having portion control, and exercising. You will be able to sustain what your are doing instead of worrying about weight. It's harder at first but what keeps the weight off over time.
  • TLB86
    TLB86 Posts: 275 Member
    Options
    Sure! and sorry for the bully bob cee134 I can come our with some strange phrases from time to time, I certainly like to stick out from the crowd. You perhaps guessed that with having pink hair!

    I do love me these days and I can't be more grateful for this feeling of self worth! (I also like exclamation marks!!) so I think I will lessen my deficit and see what happens from there. I have set it at 1450 on MFP but then an activity level of light. That way I will only eat more on days I workout :)
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,912 Member
    Options
    TLB86 wrote: »
    Sure! and sorry for the bully bob cee134 I can come our with some strange phrases from time to time, I certainly like to stick out from the crowd. You perhaps guessed that with having pink hair!

    I do love me these days and I can't be more grateful for this feeling of self worth! (I also like exclamation marks!!) so I think I will lessen my deficit and see what happens from there. I have set it at 1450 on MFP but then an activity level of light. That way I will only eat more on days I workout :)

    What's your weekly weight loss goal? With only a stone to lose (14 pounds) it should be no more than 1/2 pound a week.
  • middlehaitch
    middlehaitch Posts: 8,483 Member
    Options
    Have you thought about starting to eat at the maintenance calorie goal for 1st (14lbs) lighter?
    It would mean getting to that 1st (14lbs) lighter may take a little longer, but it would give you an insight into whether that calorie goal is one you can live with, and give you plenty of time to adjust to and tweek your maintenance calories.
    Continue with the same activity level and exercise calorie eat-back.

    Cheers, h.
  • TLB86
    TLB86 Posts: 275 Member
    Options
    I am thinking about eating at maintenance to see if that helps. The thing is I've been eating at such a low calorie that I am struggling to eat over 1500-1700. Perhaps I can have a little more in my portions now as I restricted rice, pasta etc to 50g or have a jacket potato or something with the fish and vegetables I was having on a Thursday.

    I'd like to start losing 1lb a week and then once I am down another stone I could then see how I'm feeling and where I'm at clothes wise. I think overall another 18lb would be perfect for an overall goal. I just need to lose it off my lower stomach/hips region really and I'll feel happier.
  • smotheredincheese
    smotheredincheese Posts: 559 Member
    Options
    TLB86 wrote: »
    I am thinking about eating at maintenance to see if that helps. The thing is I've been eating at such a low calorie that I am struggling to eat over 1500-1700. Perhaps I can have a little more in my portions now as I restricted rice, pasta etc to 50g or have a jacket potato or something with the fish and vegetables I was having on a Thursday.
    If you like enjoy having a few social drinks then why not stay eating the same as you are, and save those extra calories so you can relax a bit at the weekend? That way you will be able to let go a bit and stop worrying, without your weekly total going over maintenance levels.

Categories