When you are too embarrassed to make your diary

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13

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  • anthony438
    anthony438 Posts: 578 Member
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    Nope - Mine is private due to a lack of self-confidence

    This from a guy who's jumping off a platform in to thin air! lol

    Yeah, but that happened due to a lack of self-control - Entirely different problem :wink:

    And you are very brave. What an awesome jump :)

    Lol, thanks - but I've gotta be honest, gravity did most of the work. I just had to show up :wink:
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
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    What? You don't talk to yourself on public forums? Maybe there's something wrong with me more serious than poor food choices.... :wink:

    Seriously, I didn't mean to offend anyone. I was talking about my own reasons for being afraid to make my diary public.
  • junipuni
    junipuni Posts: 264 Member
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    I would have to agree if the OP had read "When you are too embarrassed to make your diary public {when asking for help regarding plateaus, etc., or my personal favorite- 'I'm doing everything right and still not losing weight!'} then something is wrong with it".
    When people ask these kinds of questions with a closed diary, I think they already know what is wrong, but they are looking for a magical piece of advice that would allow them to continue eating crap, or not logging everything, etc., so they can continue being wayward and still lose weight.
    Other than that, there is nothing wrong with keeping your diary private. Or open.

    This post really pisses me off. Some of us are private people and choose not to advertise what we eat to the public - back off
    That wasn't the point of the post. They said there was nothing wrong with keeping your diary private.

    But when someone posts asking for help but won't open their diary it is sort of a useless post. People eat so differently so just saying that they aren't losing is kind of vague. Opening up their diary gives people a way to help them, which is what they are asking for.

    FTR - mine is private but not because of embarrassment. I have noticed people taking it upon themselves to dissect other people's diaries (without being asked) and offering opinions that weren't asked for. I'm not here for that. I'm accountable to myself and only myself and don't need my diary to be public to help me. That is just me though.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    The ::looks in mirror:: part of the OP means I was talking to MYSELF.

    Yeah, a lot of people seem to have missed that.
  • Hollycat
    Hollycat Posts: 372
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    Yeah. I missed it...sorry. :embarassed: This issue is obviously a trigger for me.

    Hollycat
    :flowerforyou:
  • SunnyDispo619
    SunnyDispo619 Posts: 154
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    Yeah, this post was totally about me....

    I've been having a hard time with will power lately. I know I'm not doing things "right", so I'm embarrassed. I should make it public and hold myself more accountable.

    Other people may have it private for other reasons. But for me, it's because I'm too embarrassed. I am making it public RIGHT NOW.

    A brave and bold step! Congratulations for overcoming your embarrassment. Best of luck to you!!!
  • anthony438
    anthony438 Posts: 578 Member
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    Yarr, I saw it - I just don't see how you guys that make it public do it.

    For me, I think it's the whole "I'm a wuss" thing
  • 27strange
    27strange Posts: 837 Member
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    Sorry if this sounds harsh, but what goes in my mouth is, quite frankly, nobody's business. Period. I don't peruse other people's food diaries either. If I want someone to see my food diary, I will verify their reasons first. Basically the only reason I would let anyone see my diary is if they were completely clueless as to what to eat and in crisis because of it AND I knew them personally. Idle curiosity is simply not enough of a reason. I am surrounded by nosey people and have been persecuted for what goes in my mouth all my life. It's never good enough. It's never the 'right' thing. It's not the right amount. It's not 'healthy' enough. It's not the right 'balance' according to this or that guide. There's too much protein, or too much fat. There's too many carbs. Basically, it's not what 'they' would eat.

    I am not inviting that kind of scrutiny or comment from anyone in the near future. I"ll choose my own critics. Besides, I don't know anyone on this forum from Adam. I am of a generation that does not particularly want their private actions spread allover the internet. And what goes in my mouth is private. I am here to use the log for myself and my own education and to get and give some support and ideas through the forum. If I need specific food advice, I may ask a specific person on the forum whose advice in the past has seemed reasonable to me. Those that have lost significant amounts of weight and believe in moderation come to mind. I will not open my food diary up to debate or risk uninformed criticism in order to pacify curiosity. I'm just not going there. My choices are just that. Mine. They're based on the understanding and willingness I have today. Those are my boundaries and I've just given enough of my reasons for them that I don't feel the need to defend them further.

    For the record, my typical day looks like this:

    B - eggs & veggies in a burrito, fibre shake with Omega 3, berries, 1 diet coke every other day [my coffee substitute]
    S - apple or 100 calorie snack
    L - light lunch - fajita or chicken salad sand
    S - orange or sun chips [my weakness]
    D - steak, potatoes, grilled veggies, salad
    Snacks in the evening, lots of them...100 cal popcorn, sun chips, hot chocolate, iced tea

    I don't really care what anyone thinks of it. I'm losing weight eating this way. If I feel the need to 'improve', I will.


    Hollycat
    :flowerforyou:

    Very well stated. Agree.
    I keep mine private because I didn't like the scrutiny when it wasn't. I view MFP as an individual tool for logging but also has the social component for support, motivation, getting advice, etc. Best of both worlds. I don't have a ton of weight to lose, for me its about making better choices and exercising more. Logging daily helps me stay accountable to myself on what is going in and out calorie wise. I post and read the forums to encourage others, give advice that I have learned over time, and ask questions that I don't know the answer to. Keeping up with the forum encourages me to live the lifestyle, I don't need someone criticizing me for eating an Arby's sandwich for lunch or those nachos last Tuesday when both days I was under my calorie goals. Not the healthiest sure, but compared to prior habits or compared to getting the fries and coke with the arbys sandwich its a good step. My biggest deal right now is exercising 7 days a week and eating smaller portions and less in general. So I didn't like when mine was public and people were telling me how bad lean cuisine was or those nachos, etc.
  • SiltyPigeon
    SiltyPigeon Posts: 920 Member
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    Are you more likely to suck in your stomach when someone is looking or when no one is looking? Some people feel the same way about their diaries. They're more likely to "suck it in" to make it look better when others are looking. If it's private there's no point in lying... you know what you did and did not eat. Which is why some people choose to keep their diary private.
  • arw060310
    arw060310 Posts: 256 Member
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    My diary is private. And will always be private. What I eat is my business, and it works for ME. So I don't want anyone telling me that what I'm eating is "too fattening" or "your consuming wayy too many carbs" or "you need more veggies and fruit!"
    What I eat works for me. I don't eat clean. I eat what I like. So it's nobodies business to tell me to change the foods I eat. Unless I specifically ask.
  • brandiuntz
    brandiuntz Posts: 2,717 Member
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    Yeah, this post was totally about me....

    I've been having a hard time with will power lately. I know I'm not doing things "right", so I'm embarrassed. I should make it public and hold myself more accountable.

    Other people may have it private for other reasons. But for me, it's because I'm too embarrassed. I am making it public RIGHT NOW.

    Good on you to make it public. I understand the fear of it being judged, especially when you know you're eating like cr@p lately. Being honest with yourself (and everyone else) can be a motivation to get back on track with the eating.
  • Maris165
    Maris165 Posts: 175 Member
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    What? You don't talk to yourself on public forums? Maybe there's something wrong with me more serious than poor food choices.... :wink:

    Seriously, I didn't mean to offend anyone. I was talking about my own reasons for being afraid to make my diary public.

    Whew. I thought I had read your original post wrong.....but then I see I was thinking the same thing. It's one of those, 'I'm going to write/post this in my diary like every other thing I eat, how bad is this going to look or what is it going to do to my calories/fat/sodium (etc) for the day......o'maybe I shouldn't eat it." I love that I have to put actually thought into what I'm eating more than once! I have a friends only diary. I never thought about making it public. It really doesn't matter to me. :happy:
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
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    Why do so many people care what others eat?!?!
    My diary is public but I think for some people what they eat is just a private thing, and that's ok.
  • deeharley
    deeharley Posts: 1,208 Member
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    I started out with my diary only available to friends, because I didn't think everyone else NEEDED to see it - it's none of their business.

    Now, I mostly keep it friends only to drive all the curious people nuts. Bwahaha.
  • PurpleStarKatz
    PurpleStarKatz Posts: 45 Member
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    Are you more likely to suck in your stomach when someone is looking or when no one is looking? Some people feel the same way about their diaries. They're more likely to "suck it in" to make it look better when others are looking. If it's private there's no point in lying... you know what you did and did not eat. Which is why some people choose to keep their diary private.


    Ahahaha, I'm pretty sure you meant this to be a rhetorical question, but I have an answer anyway.
    I'm actually more likely to pull in my stomach when no one is around. Granted when I do so, I'm also trying to sit up straghter so I'm also trying to improve posture. But even so... :laugh:
  • Debkam
    Debkam Posts: 80
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    What? You don't talk to yourself on public forums? Maybe there's something wrong with me more serious than poor food choices.... :wink:

    Seriously, I didn't mean to offend anyone. I was talking about my own reasons for being afraid to make my diary public.


    You did nothing wrong. Your post was clear to anyone taking the time to read it fully. Don't sweat it...unless it will give you more calories for the day. :bigsmile:
  • demery12371
    demery12371 Posts: 253 Member
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    I view MFP as a tool for logging and learning about what I truly am getting calorie wise. IMO my diary is for me to learn from and improve. Everyone here has their own comfort level with privacy. I'm not here for people to tell me what I eat is wrong. I know I eat right but need to work on portions and proper planning. (and getting off my *kitten* more....)

    Advise should only be given when asked for and on what is asked for. You can support and be helpful without hacking through someone's eating habits..

    OP.... :) Thank you for your candor!
  • deborahmorris
    deborahmorris Posts: 177 Member
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    :smile:
    Mine is for friends only....but don't mind if anyone see what I eat (most times) :wink:
    But I like to see what other people are eating...trust me it helps!!!
    I add people because of how much weight they have lost :wink: because I have alot to lose and LOVE ideas and tips!!!

    So feel free to add me...think I will change to public :wink:

    :flowerforyou:
  • tusher2011
    tusher2011 Posts: 201 Member
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    I have mine open to my friends only.

    I don't think having it totally private means there's a problem with that person. Maybe they just want to keep it private and aren't here at MFP for learning to eat properly maybe they're here for other support like fitness??
  • barbiex3
    barbiex3 Posts: 1,036 Member
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    I don't think so.
    I have mine open to everyone, but some people choose to remain more personal... nothing wrong with that.. it's nobodies business what someone else is eating JMO.

    I agree!


    i agree also. do you really need to see what they are eating. mine is open, but why do you really need to stalk my diary?

    I didn't add friends on here for the first month, so my diary was private-- that doesn't mean I cheated! haha yeah right.

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