Can we make it work?
We live 4 hours apart and we dated on and off for few years.We broke it off for good in 2014 when he met somoone closer.I was crushed but I understood because I couldn’t give him what the other girl could–Neither of us was in the position to move.
In subsquent,he started reaching out to me more than a year later on face book,telling me that he misses me and wants to know how I’m doing.We reconnected –chatted,exhanged recent pics ,catching up with our lives.
We decided to add each other on skype to chat but there was scedule confliction everytime we made plans .Aslo the were times when he would be available to chat but then work popping up on his end .
So I finally told him I could stay up late to chat since I was off the fillowing day.He said ‘sure sounds good,looking forward to talk to you”.Then few hours later,I texted him asking what time he was getting off work but he didn’t respond.I didn’t think anything out of it as he could have been busy.Hours later..still no word from him so i texted again at 11:30 pm and asked him if he still wants to chat to no vail.I stayed up untill 1:00 am untill I got too tired and went to sleep.
Then he texted me the next day at 5:00 pm and said ‘sorry for the late reply,”yes we can chat tonight”I was like well what happened last night and he was like”I just got caught up with work,you know how it is”Then he told me that he will text me when he’s ready to chat.
I was still bothered about how he blew me off the previous night so after 10 minutes I told him to forget about skypying for tonight because I have to get up early for work then procedded to tell him about how i waited for him the previous night and he didn’t show up.Nedlessly to say,he didn’t respond to my text.This pee me off more than anything so I reacted further and sent him several messages the following day telling him it was disrespectful to blew me off like that and it’s not something i’m going to tolerate.
He finally responded and said”okay I’m sorry okay”Geeze,you’re over reacting”!This irriated me so i send him more messages expressing my disappoinment and said he could have messaged me and let me know that he couldn’t chat and he poorly handled it.
He responded and said “okay I’m done…cya.(I didn’t even read all that)”Please don’t talk to me anymore”I then said”why are you being such a jerk ?I didn’t do anything to warrant such hostility.Then he said”I didn’t know you were going to be so crazy”Then I explained to him that i was just expressing my disapontment about how he blew me off and it was something i was willing to let go this time.He never responded back.It’s been almost a month since our conflict.I was thinking to reach out once the dust settles since i feel like I might have over reacted but I’m not sure.
Can we make it work?Or should i let it go? I can se myself moving for him
In subsquent,he started reaching out to me more than a year later on face book,telling me that he misses me and wants to know how I’m doing.We reconnected –chatted,exhanged recent pics ,catching up with our lives.
We decided to add each other on skype to chat but there was scedule confliction everytime we made plans .Aslo the were times when he would be available to chat but then work popping up on his end .
So I finally told him I could stay up late to chat since I was off the fillowing day.He said ‘sure sounds good,looking forward to talk to you”.Then few hours later,I texted him asking what time he was getting off work but he didn’t respond.I didn’t think anything out of it as he could have been busy.Hours later..still no word from him so i texted again at 11:30 pm and asked him if he still wants to chat to no vail.I stayed up untill 1:00 am untill I got too tired and went to sleep.
Then he texted me the next day at 5:00 pm and said ‘sorry for the late reply,”yes we can chat tonight”I was like well what happened last night and he was like”I just got caught up with work,you know how it is”Then he told me that he will text me when he’s ready to chat.
I was still bothered about how he blew me off the previous night so after 10 minutes I told him to forget about skypying for tonight because I have to get up early for work then procedded to tell him about how i waited for him the previous night and he didn’t show up.Nedlessly to say,he didn’t respond to my text.This pee me off more than anything so I reacted further and sent him several messages the following day telling him it was disrespectful to blew me off like that and it’s not something i’m going to tolerate.
He finally responded and said”okay I’m sorry okay”Geeze,you’re over reacting”!This irriated me so i send him more messages expressing my disappoinment and said he could have messaged me and let me know that he couldn’t chat and he poorly handled it.
He responded and said “okay I’m done…cya.(I didn’t even read all that)”Please don’t talk to me anymore”I then said”why are you being such a jerk ?I didn’t do anything to warrant such hostility.Then he said”I didn’t know you were going to be so crazy”Then I explained to him that i was just expressing my disapontment about how he blew me off and it was something i was willing to let go this time.He never responded back.It’s been almost a month since our conflict.I was thinking to reach out once the dust settles since i feel like I might have over reacted but I’m not sure.
Can we make it work?Or should i let it go? I can se myself moving for him
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Replies
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nope
break up and move on7 -
.. This is harsh, but my first thought was "are you really asking this question?"
No. He's not interested and made it clear. I would argue that he only reached out because he was bored. Move on.6 -
He has someone your a side piece . Move on4
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Dump his *kitten*1
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Well I was thinking to send a final message to tell him not to reach out in the future again.I just don't want to be fall back option when he has dry spell again0
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He wasn't working. If he was working he would have replied. If he cared he would have replied.
He was with someone who was more important than you, despite you going out of your way to make time for him.
The defensive responses since then prove this.
You deserve much better. Move on.5 -
Move on. Plenty of dudes out there willing to Skype.
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Don't send a "final" text. Let it end. If he ever does text again, ignore it. Keep your dignity.10
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Ya let it go girl,0
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Time to move on... I would have gone to bed at 11 and dismissed the relationship. Sounds like he was being secretive with his partner about you.0
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it's over
just find a new {and better} guy.0 -
I will find a better guy than that u don't need him at all .0
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I agree with what everyone else is saying. Don't waste your time and energy on contacting him.1
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Move .... on with your life.0
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I agree with Louise1491 in the sense that the multiple messages were going overboard. Do I think he's a great guy? Doesn't sound like it. If he truly valued you he would make you a priority BUT all those messages would scream "uh oh" to me too. One message stating your displeasure is plenty. Let it go.4
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Exactly. Many messages gives the impression you are desperate2
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You should not try to get back with this guy, as others have said. I don't agree that you've done anything wrong though. Be aware that it is a common tactic of unkind people to be rude to you and then make you feel guilty for being upset that they were rude, rather than admitting they were rude or taking any responsibility for their actions. You should be thankful he made it clear he is terrible boyfriend material and move on from there.
In the future, consider any similar sort of behaviour a warning sign and kick them to the curb too. No one should spend any significant part of their life with any person that treats them like an afterthought, makes commitments they won't keep or makes them feel like the problem for questioning unacceptable behaviour. You are allowed to have standards and you are allowed to express your thoughts and feelings. If doing so makes you "crazy" then you're not with the right person.3 -
His "work" was undoubtedly him hanging out with his girlfriend. You deserve better, he dumped you once already just for someone cloae. Plenty of actual good guys out there who would treat you better.4
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No.. don't reach out just walk away... Really, honestly, delete is number from your phone ASAP, delete him off kik if you can and just erase him from your life so you don't have anyway to contact him again.0
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What is it you're looking for that you'd go backwards after a year?0
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I did not have to read this to know the answer would be no. Stop justifying and move on. Be proactive with your life and let go of the past.2
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ZCP. Zero Contact Policy. Leave him, move on, ignore any future communications.2
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OMG at the risk of sounding a bit mean/insensitive, I have to say I can’t blame the dude for running for the hills. Your relentless messaging just screams desperate. Quite frankly, I’d be way too embarrassed to even talk to him again after sending him a bunch of messages like what you just described. Obviously, he’s just not that into you. Leave him alone.
ps: I'm not sure how real this OP is, but in any event.....my 2 cents.4 -
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Nope, don't waste any more of your time on him.
You were much more invested in the renewal of your relationship than he was, that is why, to him, you overreacted. If he was as interested as you were, he would've let you know he wasn't going to make it the moment he realized.
I've been in a very similar situation. Looking back, I made myself overly available, laid my cards on the table, and then became upset when things didn't go my way - not just not my way, but in the total opposite of my way. Love yourself before you give others the chance to love you.0 -
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