Terrified of working out in front of others

WorkingToBeSkinny · September 2016

I am absolutely terrified of working out in front of other people, even family. I won't even go swimming because I hate how my body looks. How do you cope when you hate other people looking at your body while working out?

EvgeniZyntx · September 2016

You either live your life in avoidance of certain activities or you get over it.

I really disliked swimming in front of others once I gained weight, and yet I remember, as a kid being on a swim team (horrid - I was always last) but enjoying swimming in the ocean.

So I focused on that - the points of pleasure, the good memories and the idea that I wanted to be social and share time with my daughters. I still have moments of "ugh" but I get over it. And I find objectives that force me to deal with it. I'm training for tri's. Also, look around the pool - you'll see all sorts of bodies and levels of health - if they can do it, so can you.

PennWalker · September 2016

I walk on a treadmill and read a book at the same time. I'm exercising for myself to improve my health and stay alive. I can't do anything about what other people think.

I will tell you though that when I see very out of shape people exercising it always lifts my spirits -- they are people who for whatever reason got out of shape, now want a better life, and they are taking their lives back into their own hands. Those people are inspiring to me.

WorkingToBeSkinny · September 2016

I just don't like having all my fat on display. Hell, if I could get away with wearing an abaya as a non-Muslim, I would just for its ability to hide everything from the eyes of the world.

Once I am skinny, then yes, I will happily swim and work out in front of other humans. Until then, I can't summon up the courage to have my fat on display for exercising.

malibu927 · September 2016

I realized that nobody cares. If anything, they'll commend you for wanting to get healthier.

EvgeniZyntx · September 2016

WorkingToBeSkinny wrote: »

I just don't like having all my fat on display. Hell, if I could get away with wearing an abaya as a non-Muslim, I would just for its ability to hide everything from the eyes of the world.

Once I am skinny, then yes, I will happily swim and work out in front of other humans. Until then, I can't summon up the courage to have my fat on display for exercising.

Ok. Still, try to find some activity you can do either by yourself or dressed like Darth Vader.
Stay active.

Good luck!!

manderson27 · September 2016

I know it is difficult to put yourself out there but honestly people do not care about what you are doing as much as you think. They may notice you and stare a bit but so what. This isn't about them it is about you taking control of your health.

If you really can't bring yourself to join a gym or exercise classes then just walk. Walk and walk and walk. You can keep covered and still burn a lot of calories. You can also exercise in your own home in private. But the more you do the better you will feel about doing it.

Losing weight is more about diet anyway, you can lose weight without exercising but it is better for your fitness and stamina if you can find some kind of exercise to do regularly. Don't let your insecurity stop you from reaching your goal weight.

SoozeE512 · September 2016

People watching you when you're "skinny" isn't any better than when you're losing weight. If you're uncomfortable with it now, chances are, you're not going to like it then either.

The best thing is to practice tunnel vision. Focus on what you're doing and don't pay any attention to what other people are doing. If you aren't looking at other people, you won't know whether or not they're looking at you. It doesn't matter what other people think anyway, you have to do what's right for your own body. Just focus on taking care of yourself.

sijomial · September 2016

WorkingToBeSkinny wrote: »

I just don't like having all my fat on display. Hell, if I could get away with wearing an abaya as a non-Muslim, I would just for its ability to hide everything from the eyes of the world.

Once I am skinny, then yes, I will happily swim and work out in front of other humans. Until then, I can't summon up the courage to have my fat on display for exercising.

There was a survey in the UK that revealed quite a widespread gender disparity....
Men typically viewed the gym as a place to go to get fit and women viewed it as a place to go when you are fit.

The gym goers I know only have respect for people who work to improve themselves, whatever their shape or condition.

I got "looked at" when I had to wear a huge leg brace to play sports, I get "looked at" now as I'm frequently the oldest person in the gym. There's always going to be a reason not to do something if you permit it...

This can't be the toughest challenge you have faced in your life and it certainly won't be the hardest thing you will have to overcome in the future.

arditarose · September 2016

When I first started taking the gym seriously I bought myself some nice tops that kind of covered my butt but were really stylish. That was the first step.

Then I watched videos on form for everything I was to do to help me feel even more confident.

2 years later I'm extremely confident in the gym but I wanted to start wearing shorts for the first time. I was WILDLY uncomfortable and embarrassed to do it. I just worked up to it. Practiced when it was slow. Eventually I got more comfortable.

Get ready, put your headphones one, and tune the rest of the world out.

jgnatca · September 2016

You can either deal with the self image stuff or you can exercise privately. My daughter, who has a pretty close to ideal shape, also hates having people look at her. It is hard to get her to go to the pool with us. If it wasn't such a thing in the media right now, I'd suggest she try a burkini.

Truth, people who go to the gym are much more in to their own bodies.

All I can think of with the self image stuff is to do an activity that gets you focused outside yourself. (No time to think about your jiggly bits).

BasicGreatGuy · September 2016

Being overweight (at the moment) is not who you are. Being overweight is but a small part of the totality of the person you are.

It doesn't matter what other people may think or even say to you, in regards to your weight. Said person(s) are not you nor can they light up that special part of the world in the same way that you can. And that goes for each person, regardless of size.

Don't allow irrational fear of illogical thought (re: ignorant societal thought processes) to control who you are slowing becoming from the inside out. Be proud of you. No one can be the person you are, but you.

rickc74 · September 2016

malibu927 wrote: »

I realized that nobody cares. If anything, they'll commend you for wanting to get healthier.

Truth.

STEVE142142 · September 2016

I'm going to be blunt. Get over it and get your *kitten* in the gym. You have to do this for yourself. The most important thing you have to realize is that you're worth it.

What you have to realize is that you're doing this for yourself and for no one else. And unfortunately the other thing you have to realize is that most of those people really don't give a damn if anything happens to you.

I wish you much success in your journey God bless

stilltrusting · September 2016

I do my thing. I've got plenty of fat to lose and muscle to gain. Everybody started somewhere.....even the gym-rat. Don't let it stress you. Get your toosh into the gym.

I've gotten to the point where I'll ask some of the muscle heads to explain why they're doing something (like using the padded grips on dumbbells) and they're always quite gracious and willing to help/explain.

Best wishes to you.

PennWalker · September 2016

Don't tell yourself you can't do things because you aren't perfect. We can never be perfect anyway.

There are better things to value - being happy, healthy, having a great time, learning new things, getting better at a skill for the joy of doing it.

ShaneGonzalez91 · September 2016

Dont really care what people think. Im there to exercise, and get healthier, fit and enjoy what i do.

melissa6771 · September 2016

I'm going to tell you what happened with me. I used to be in very good shape and one of the stronger girls in my gym. Imagine being gone for years, gaining 52 pounds and losing all your muscle, walking back in and facing all the people you know. I was horrified. At first I tried to hide on the bike. I bought some new workout clothes, the most flattering I could find for my size, and just went.

Then I decided I had to just do it and start lifting again. I walked to the back, to the weight area, embarrassed as hell, but I went back there and I did it. I tried not to think about it and just thought about what I needed for myself, what I needed for me to get healthy and get rid of that feeling. That feeling ended up driving me. Now I've lost 57 pounds in six months, almost all body fat, I'm stronger again, I'm lifting 4 days a week and I'm so much better for it. I am so glad did not let my fear stop me. If it had, I wouldn't be where I am today. Put yourself first, forget about the other people, focus solely on you. You will get over your fears once you face them.

Good luck.

jemhh · September 2016

My thought when I first started was that the fact I was fat and out of shape was immediately apparent by anybody taking a quick glance. Hiding away wasn't feasible since I had to go out to work, shop, etc. If people were going to see me anyway, I could choose to be either a fat/out of shape lady doing nothing to change that or a fat lady who was actively trying to change it. I don't think many people paid attention anyway but I told myself I'd rather be seen as the latter than the former.

Hope228 · September 2016

When I first started going I felt that way. I was especially conscientious of my arms. I have ms and my arms look really weird. I know I will never have body builder arms but I just want them to not look so hideous. I'm slowly getting there. I even wore a short sleeved shirt last week! I'm taking it a day at a time. Hang in there!

MishaWest79 · September 2016

I started out by walking at night, through Winter. I rugged up just enough to keep me moving fast and incorporated as many hills as possible being sure to walk in a safe well lit area.

I also cleared a space in the corner of my bedroom and that is now my exercise nook. I forbid my Husband, child and pets from entering when I am exercising and when done I head straight to the bathroom to freshen up.

In my exercise nook I have a yoga mat, various hand weights, foam roller, stretch bands and a chest of drawers to plonk my Macbook on. I use YouTube videos or sometimes freestyle it.

I suggest finding an easy cardio clip to warm up with, Leslie Sansone - Walk away the pounds is good followed by a beginner HasFit (YouTube channel) strength training workout and then a cool down stretch sequence, Fitness Blender have a fantastic low impact vid. Load them up in different tabs, paused and ready to go then get moving.

Once you start feeling stronger have a look at 30 days of Yoga by Adriene, she is a sweetheart and you might just find what you need to improve your mental and physical strength.

Wishing you all the best, we have all been at that place of discomfort and because of that know that you can change your feelings around your body once you get moving and gain some confidence in your body again.

Ws2016 · September 2016

It's the only body you have. Love it, don't hate it.

chickendumplings · September 2016

Chances are people are wrapped up in their own workouts and if they happen to stare, they won't remember by the time they get home. So exercise in peace

Skyblueyellow · September 2016

I felt the exact same way. But honestly, once I start into my cardio session I eventually zone out and am focused on my music (I'm a mom with two young boys and the gym is pretty much the only chance I get to listen to MY music!) and doing what I need to do for myself.

I do yoga in front of my husband.

I figure that if someone wants to laugh at me--go ahead. I'm doing me.

CraigontheCoast · September 2016

Honestly, no one cares that you're there. When I'm at the gym and someone else is there, the only time I even register that they are there is if they are being annoyingly loud (mostly men grunting in that case), and at that point all I do is turn my music up. No one cares about your fat or lack thereof. Get focused and get your workout in, just like everyone else is around you. They're not thinking about you, they're planning their work day or what they're going to make for dinner later. You won't regret having done the workout, but you probably will regret if you let being uncomfortable stop you.

leanjogreen18 · September 2016

I feel the same but true story that happened to me today....

I'm 5'4" 80 lbs overweight, I went to my first yoga class. I was terrified that everyone would be fit and thin and super flexible. Some were and some not but one lady accidentally passed wind in the most quietest moment quite loudly. No one laughed and I no longer feel worried to go to my yoga class. She fixed that for me, no longer terrified.

fitnactive · September 2016

How for me:
1) Amazing playlist if you're doing cardio.
2) Lots of positive self-talk. You could've stayed home but instead you got your butt to the gym--go you! Don't focus on hating your body, focus on your awesome willingness to get uncomfortable and make your life better!
3) Group classes
4) Set some goals not based on appearance. Getting stronger, faster or whatever applies to your choice of exercise. You deserve to love the process as much as the end result.

I hid from people to exercise for years and walked or worked out at home or with my head down at the gym. But slowly I tried classes and found I actually really liked being around other people who were trying to improve themselves and be healthy and having people to joke around with or talk to about the struggle. It took me months to become comfortable but it was worth it to push past my hidey tendencies.

Best of luck!! It's not easy but you are worth it.

ElviraMarieCerri · September 2016

Remember nobody is looking at you, except if that is where their eyes happen to land. The gym is the most narcissistic place on earth. People are only concerned with their own bodies. You may as well be invisible-those few people who do get stared at are the ones with the beautiful bodies. Plain old "usses" are ignored. Unless of course you are shouting "Look at me!" and then you just get looks that say "shut up and do your reps."

MamaSooz89129 · September 2016

WorkingToBeSkinny wrote: »

I am absolutely terrified of working out in front of other people, even family. I won't even go swimming because I hate how my body looks. How do you cope when you hate other people looking at your body while working out?

Do you have some place like a Curves near you? Because I think the majority of the women at Curves are overweight and working hard at getting healthy. I've never seen anybody judging anyone there - it is a very safe and nurturing environment.

And not to be cliche, but the old adage applies here, "Those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind."

Shells918 · September 2016

malibu927 wrote: »

I realized that nobody cares. If anything, they'll commend you for wanting to get healthier.

This is so true.
That being said, I work out at home. I went to gyms for years and people spend more time looking at themselves than at anyone else.

MonaLisaLianne · September 2016

Believe it or not, nobody at the gym cares what you look like. Well - I guess if you showed up naked or painted purple people would look at you. Otherwise, all of us are there to work on ourselves. Just by showing up you've made the cut. Stop thinking about everyone else and start focusing on yourself. If you're faithful you'll be amazed at the results in a very short time.

Terrified of working out in front of others

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