Terrified of working out in front of others
Replies
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It's the only body you have. Love it, don't hate it.7
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Chances are people are wrapped up in their own workouts and if they happen to stare, they won't remember by the time they get home. So exercise in peace7
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I felt the exact same way. But honestly, once I start into my cardio session I eventually zone out and am focused on my music (I'm a mom with two young boys and the gym is pretty much the only chance I get to listen to MY music!) and doing what I need to do for myself.
I do yoga in front of my husband.
I figure that if someone wants to laugh at me--go ahead. I'm doing me.1 -
Honestly, no one cares that you're there. When I'm at the gym and someone else is there, the only time I even register that they are there is if they are being annoyingly loud (mostly men grunting in that case), and at that point all I do is turn my music up. No one cares about your fat or lack thereof. Get focused and get your workout in, just like everyone else is around you. They're not thinking about you, they're planning their work day or what they're going to make for dinner later. You won't regret having done the workout, but you probably will regret if you let being uncomfortable stop you.3
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I feel the same but true story that happened to me today....
I'm 5'4" 80 lbs overweight, I went to my first yoga class. I was terrified that everyone would be fit and thin and super flexible. Some were and some not but one lady accidentally passed wind in the most quietest moment quite loudly. No one laughed and I no longer feel worried to go to my yoga class. She fixed that for me, no longer terrified.6 -
How for me:
1) Amazing playlist if you're doing cardio.
2) Lots of positive self-talk. You could've stayed home but instead you got your butt to the gym--go you! Don't focus on hating your body, focus on your awesome willingness to get uncomfortable and make your life better!
3) Group classes
4) Set some goals not based on appearance. Getting stronger, faster or whatever applies to your choice of exercise. You deserve to love the process as much as the end result.
I hid from people to exercise for years and walked or worked out at home or with my head down at the gym. But slowly I tried classes and found I actually really liked being around other people who were trying to improve themselves and be healthy and having people to joke around with or talk to about the struggle. It took me months to become comfortable but it was worth it to push past my hidey tendencies.
Best of luck!! It's not easy but you are worth it.8 -
Remember nobody is looking at you, except if that is where their eyes happen to land. The gym is the most narcissistic place on earth. People are only concerned with their own bodies. You may as well be invisible-those few people who do get stared at are the ones with the beautiful bodies. Plain old "usses" are ignored. Unless of course you are shouting "Look at me!" and then you just get looks that say "shut up and do your reps."5
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WorkingToBeSkinny wrote: »I am absolutely terrified of working out in front of other people, even family. I won't even go swimming because I hate how my body looks. How do you cope when you hate other people looking at your body while working out?
Do you have some place like a Curves near you? Because I think the majority of the women at Curves are overweight and working hard at getting healthy. I've never seen anybody judging anyone there - it is a very safe and nurturing environment.
And not to be cliche, but the old adage applies here, "Those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind."3 -
Believe it or not, nobody at the gym cares what you look like. Well - I guess if you showed up naked or painted purple people would look at you. Otherwise, all of us are there to work on ourselves. Just by showing up you've made the cut. Stop thinking about everyone else and start focusing on yourself. If you're faithful you'll be amazed at the results in a very short time.7
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Work out by yourself at home.1
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WorkingToBeSkinny wrote: »I am absolutely terrified of working out in front of other people, even family. I won't even go swimming because I hate how my body looks. How do you cope when you hate other people looking at your body while working out?
No one is paying much attention to you. Exercise alone if you prefer.
I do workout videos at home or walk. There are lots of workout videos on You Tube.2 -
Here's one of my favorite quotes that might help: "You wouldn't worry about what others think of you if you knew how seldom they do." Love yourself and forget about other folks.5
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I realized that nobody cares. If anything, they'll commend you for wanting to get healthier.
I think this is it. You may be self conscious... but the chances that anyone cares enough to notice you are pretty slim.
And if they do notice you, they might think "oh, nice t-shirt" or "huh, overweight person working out, good for her" or "hmmm, she's on the treadmill, maybe I'll change things up and do that when I'm finished here" or "I need new shoes, wonder where she got those ones from".
The odds that they are thinking "what is that fat person doing here" are so small that they aren't worth worrying about. And even if someone is mean enough to be thinking that, then it reflects very badly on them, but will actually have no impact on you at all.
But, I can understand that you find this hard... so what about making a list of strategies (lots of good ideas here) and just getting started with something simple. Go for a 10 minute walk around your neighbourhood. Or find some exercises you can do in the living room or backyard. Or check out the class schedule at the gym and go along to the most non-threatening-sounding one to see if you like it. You could also ask the staff when the gym is less busy so you don't feel so overwhelmed.
Good luck!
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You change your internal dialogue
Rather than allowing a negative voice to rule you you make the internal comments positive
I'm going for it, they are impressed by my effort, I look awesome like a woman on a mission, they are stunned by my perseverance and want to be me
(Honestly few will even notice you let alone give you a conscious thought it's only your damning internal voice that is at issue ...so kill it...it's called self confidence)2 -
Lots of good recommendations here, but I see no one mentioned the obvious paper bag over the head trick.
..I'm kidding of course.5 -
I joined Planet Fitness 2 months ago. I was absolutely terrified too. I had some image in my mind that I would be the only overweight (70lbs) old person (50 years) there and would stick out like a sore thumb. It took exactly one visit to get over that. First, there were other overweight old people there too...even grandmotherly types! Second, nobody seemed to glance at me at all, except the guy who gave me a friendly hello at the desk when I came in. And finally, once I have those earbuds in then I am unaware of everyone else. I realized, it's really no different then going to the supermarket--I got just as much attention at the gym as I do there--none. You should see me now-- I'm bopping my head around to my music while I'm on the elliptical and I don't care if it looks silly 'cause I'm having a good time!5
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JulieSHelms wrote: »I joined Planet Fitness 2 months ago. I was absolutely terrified too. I had some image in my mind that I would be the only overweight (70lbs) old person (50 years) there and would stick out like a sore thumb. It took exactly one visit to get over that. First, there were other overweight old people there too...even grandmotherly types! Second, nobody seemed to glance at me at all, except the guy who gave me a friendly hello at the desk when I came in. And finally, once I have those earbuds in then I am unaware of everyone else. I realized, it's really no different then going to the supermarket--I got just as much attention at the gym as I do there--none. You should see me now-- I'm bopping my head around to my music while I'm on the elliptical and I don't care if it looks silly 'cause I'm having a good time!
I was invisible when I started too
Now I'm not so much
It's great to reclaim your body and zest at our age
You go for it2 -
I started working out at home behind closed curtains. When I had lost weight I started doing more walking. When I started to jog I went on routes where I didn't think anyone would know me. It took a few months before I was brave enough to jog near home.
I actually found swimming one of the hardest things as costumes aren't very forgiving. I have a boyleg costume that's also quite high at the top, as I now get really cold I usually wear a thermal rash vest too.
When I did get back in the gym, and even now when I,'m having a bad anxiety day I put my music on the and glasses off so I can't see anyone else anyway! I wear 3 quarter length leggings and looser tops.
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There was a girl in my gym who was really big. Big enough that you could see her sometimes having trouble with the sides of the treadmill, when she walked and there's this natural movement of the hips, and the treadmills would sometimes catch her hip and upset her stride, and she'd have to stop and then get going again. She was there almost every second day. Every step, lifting more than I can benchpress, let alone run with. She was an inspiration. I'm not inspired by the super-fit girls who somehow look like they were just born to model lingerie, even though I know, theoretically, that they must have worked hard for it too.... I never saw that. THIS girl, though... you totally see her working for every calorie burned, and her determination dripping off her in hard-earned sweat, and now, when I think I can't be bothered, it's her that I think of. If she can do it, if she can carry more than me to do every exercise harder than me, and on top of that with the feeling that others are judging her, well then I've got enough shame in me to think maybe I can at least try. If you're big enough to draw looks in the gym, there's a good chance they're looking at you with respect and admiration.
I wouldn't know about the swimming pool.... I'm too ashamed of my fear of water and my terrible swimming stroke to show my face there10
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