So Hard this Time
dvdiamond11
Posts: 24 Member
I am having a really hard time wrapping my brain around losing weight right now. I know how to do it, eat all the right things, record every bite and exercise a lot (I love working out). I had successfully lost 40 pounds 8 years ago and kept them off until the last few years where the pounds crept back on ever so slowly. I have lost and gained the same 10 pounds for the last 2 years, and now it has managed to get to 20.
Losing weight at 54 and going through menopause is no picnic and half the time I ask myself, 'why bother?'.
Of course this makes me terribly depressed and I vow to get it off, only to quit after a week or two. Grrr. Also I always have something social on the calendar, whether its a get together or a short getaway. I vow to get back on the horse after but I think we all know how that usually works. Its just a slippery slope.
Any women here going through a similar situation and how are you getting your brain in the game?
Losing weight at 54 and going through menopause is no picnic and half the time I ask myself, 'why bother?'.
Of course this makes me terribly depressed and I vow to get it off, only to quit after a week or two. Grrr. Also I always have something social on the calendar, whether its a get together or a short getaway. I vow to get back on the horse after but I think we all know how that usually works. Its just a slippery slope.
Any women here going through a similar situation and how are you getting your brain in the game?
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What are the right things, and why do you quit eating them?0
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Think back to when you first lost that 40 LBs. How did you feel? When you realized you could fit into smaller clothes, the first time someone noticed and maybe said you were thin, the first time you were able to do something physical at the gym that you couldn't previously do, how you had so much energy, how you glowed, how you felt so confident, strong, beautiful... Remember feeling all of that? Don't you want to feel like that again? If the answer is yes then you're going to have to suck it up and do the work, just like you did the last time. There will always be an excuse... social engagements, menopause, family dinners, outings, weddings, etc. You did it before and you can do it again. Learn once again how to say "no", and learn again how to exercise your will power, discipline and control over food. Or... don't, and stay where you are.3
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hi
I am in similar situation, except I lost the 40lb this year
I am similar age and menopause is NOT an excuse - it is a fact that our bodies behave differently
I was doing so well and now it has all caved in although unlike you, I struggle with exercise
I enjoy walking, but found that although I was eating much better and losing weight, I grew more and more tired - none of that great energy boost others seemed to describe
as a result I have crashed badly and now all over the place0 -
I am 50 and I have lost 58lbs since Easter...I didn't exercise at all when I started my journey...now I do 3 classes M,W,F, and workout on Sunday...I don't get that burst of energy from working out that everyone talks about, in fact, I have to come home and take a nap! When I am sick of this journey and lose ALL motivation I just remember that time is going to pass whether I get off my *kitten* or not and Rome wasn't built in a day so it all can't come off that way either!2
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I turn 48 this Friday. My husband is 57. So there is a little age bearing here for me. I also think at the age I started, my body felt a lot older than it was. Silly I know, but it felt that way.
I started all of this at the age of 46 and I have to say that I think being a bit older has allowed me to hold on to my convictions more, where when I was younger I could procrastinate and say I will do "that" later. Well later never comes, etc. etc.
I know that there is a clock somewhere but I choose to ignore it. I had severe issues with peri menopause, I can't even elaborate through words the symptoms I had. I have very min side effects or symptoms now. I attribute it all to what I did. I lost some weight, started doing something I swore was for faint at heart and picked up a barbell and dumbbells for the first time in my life. I also bought a pair of running shoes and started running. Yep I strap those things on now fund-raise and run for charity. You would have laughed at me two years ago. LOL
I was so inactive, eating things that were convenient and unhealthy and I really felt terrible. I never knew how terrible the food I was eating was making me feel.
So all of this said, there is a "bother", there is a "reason" to do all of this. Absolutely put your self in position to add some longevity to your life, feel better, have more energy and why not try for having a hot bod at the same time.
I have actually told a little too much about my self than I do on these forums, but It looks like you could use a person that thought the same thing you do.. It is all worth it! Every single deficit calorie you do not eat, every second of exercise or activity you do, all of it counts! Best of luck to you!6 -
I'm 55 and I can tell you that any woman can choose to say "why bother" at ANY age.
It may sound contrite but 50 is the new 30, for many reasons. The first being that if my grandma lived to be 84, and my mom's alive at 74 I'm living my life like I'm going to live till 94.
That's means I possibly have another 40 years to live.!!!
How do I want to live those years?
Healthy, fit and agile, that's how.
Plus, I still have the desire to look good in a bathing suit, and by that I mean look good for a 55 year old.
Nobody can put that desire to take care of your body in you but YOU.
Menopause has its challenges, but when you look at it for what it truly is and don't put any old fashioned "change of life" crap on it, it is nothing more than the inability to bear children. Since I have no desire to give birth, I don't need the monthly nuisance. It is liberating to not have to deal with it anymore!
I've researched and take various vitamins and supplements to help with the symptoms of menopause. For me they subsided with time.
I personally get a daily thrill out of "breaking the rules" of what I thought 55 was gonna feel like.
I exercise daily, taking naps where needed, that's just fine. I count my calories and try to eat healthy and allow myself treats.
Do it because you want to honor your body.
Do it because you're ABLE to.
Don't know about you, but my husband and I are at the age that people of our era are starting to die. Each one of them so far has lead an unhealthy lifestyle. Healthy living is no guarantee, but it gives you an edge.
You are worth it!!!
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kommodevaran wrote: »What are the right things, and why do you quit eating them?
Its really about wrapping my brain around what I want more, to eat and drink and be social, or to use my willpower to say no, or to not drink (wine) when going out (yeah right). Last night my husband and I were invited to a yearly get together with a lot of our friends. He went without me. I decided the temptation was just too much to deal with. BTW, I live in wine country. Drinking wine is a way of life around these parts. I also work in the wine industry. So wine is everywhere and one of my passions.
I know I can do this,its just so danged hard!
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dvdiamond11 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »What are the right things, and why do you quit eating them?
Its really about wrapping my brain around what I want more, to eat and drink and be social, or to use my willpower to say no, or to not drink (wine) when going out (yeah right). Last night my husband and I were invited to a yearly get together with a lot of our friends. He went without me. I decided the temptation was just too much to deal with. BTW, I live in wine country. Drinking wine is a way of life around these parts. I also work in the wine industry. So wine is everywhere and one of my passions.
I know I can do this,its just so danged hard!
The bolded is why people fail. Learn to work in what you want to eat, within your calories. It might mean you drink 1 or 2 glasses of wine instead of say, 4. But you don't have to quit it all together. Eat what you want, just less of it.
And quit telling yourself it is so hard. You just have to be more mindful of how much you are eating/drinking.4 -
It definitely is harder this time around that's for sure. What worked for me 10 years ago just doesn't work now. I was using menopause as an excuse...until I did some soul searching and realized it was ME not menopause that was preventing me from losing weight. I would eat and eat and eat and complain, complain, complain. While it is coming off very slowly I have been consistently coming in under calories and exercising 4-5 days a week. I'm eating better and I know I'm doing good things for my body. It may take a while, but that's ok as long as the scale is moving in the right direction...I'm not going anywhere...0
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I'm 51, half way to 52. Exercise has always made me feel depressed and angry afterwards, whether I enjoy it while I'm doing it or not, so I'm not doing any dedicated exercising (yet). I'm losing on average a pound a week just counting calories. I eat anything I want, but exercise portion control. That's it. I'm not sure why I never feel like giving up, maybe it's the lack of deprivation?1
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dvdiamond11 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »What are the right things, and why do you quit eating them?
Its really about wrapping my brain around what I want more, to eat and drink and be social, or to use my willpower to say no, or to not drink (wine) when going out (yeah right). Last night my husband and I were invited to a yearly get together with a lot of our friends. He went without me. I decided the temptation was just too much to deal with. BTW, I live in wine country. Drinking wine is a way of life around these parts. I also work in the wine industry. So wine is everywhere and one of my passions.
I know I can do this,its just so danged hard!
Boring food and restrictive behavior tends to lead to overeating. We can do anything for a while, but what counts is what we can do for life. Eating and drinking is an important part of social occasions, food is designed (also by nature) to be a pleasure, and we are supposed to eat end enjoy it - you can't rely on your willpower for long to stop you from following your instincts. It sounds really sad that you couldn't go and see your friends. What if you had one or two glasses of wine, like mom22dogs suggested? And balanced the eating with socializing?1 -
kommodevaran wrote: »dvdiamond11 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »What are the right things, and why do you quit eating them?
Its really about wrapping my brain around what I want more, to eat and drink and be social, or to use my willpower to say no, or to not drink (wine) when going out (yeah right). Last night my husband and I were invited to a yearly get together with a lot of our friends. He went without me. I decided the temptation was just too much to deal with. BTW, I live in wine country. Drinking wine is a way of life around these parts. I also work in the wine industry. So wine is everywhere and one of my passions.
I know I can do this,its just so danged hard!
Boring food and restrictive behavior tends to lead to overeating. We can do anything for a while, but what counts is what we can do for life. Eating and drinking is an important part of social occasions, food is designed (also by nature) to be a pleasure, and we are supposed to eat end enjoy it - you can't rely on your willpower for long to stop you from following your instincts. It sounds really sad that you couldn't go and see your friends. What if you had one or two glasses of wine, like mom22dogs suggested? And balanced the eating with socializing?
Hmm...everything is almost opposite for me. Boring foods tends to make me eat less and go do something else. Why would anyone want to fill way up with cucumbers, celery sticks? LOL. The key with this is...you actually have to eat boring foods in order to eat less. Interesting foods, occasions would make me overeat. Third grade logic here.
Having one or two glasses of wine or whatever the restrictive amount of your favorite foods is very counterproductive to one's diet. You'll be stimulating your appetite and thus constantly testing your willpower, remembering to cut back. Why would you put yourself in a tough situation and then work hard to get out?
In this regard, I would eat until I'm satisfied physically and emotionally (and skip other meals to make up) or don't eat that good food at all which is much easier to do (for your diet). Eating foods in a superficial amount is also counterproductive.
Like you said, which I agree, food is meant to provide nutrients, a pleasure (but that has to be with enough quantify) and for socializing and what not, which has to be eaten the way it's meant.
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dvdiamond11 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »What are the right things, and why do you quit eating them?
Its really about wrapping my brain around what I want more, to eat and drink and be social, or to use my willpower to say no, or to not drink (wine) when going out (yeah right). Last night my husband and I were invited to a yearly get together with a lot of our friends. He went without me. I decided the temptation was just too much to deal with. BTW, I live in wine country. Drinking wine is a way of life around these parts. I also work in the wine industry. So wine is everywhere and one of my passions.
I know I can do this,its just so danged hard!
Eh you can enjoy yourself once in a while. Just try not to go overboard and ask yourself if it's REALLY worth it to go crazy. But if it happens... what matters is not to give up... Log it, and move on.0 -
endlessfall16 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »dvdiamond11 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »What are the right things, and why do you quit eating them?
Its really about wrapping my brain around what I want more, to eat and drink and be social, or to use my willpower to say no, or to not drink (wine) when going out (yeah right). Last night my husband and I were invited to a yearly get together with a lot of our friends. He went without me. I decided the temptation was just too much to deal with. BTW, I live in wine country. Drinking wine is a way of life around these parts. I also work in the wine industry. So wine is everywhere and one of my passions.
I know I can do this,its just so danged hard!
Boring food and restrictive behavior tends to lead to overeating. We can do anything for a while, but what counts is what we can do for life. Eating and drinking is an important part of social occasions, food is designed (also by nature) to be a pleasure, and we are supposed to eat end enjoy it - you can't rely on your willpower for long to stop you from following your instincts. It sounds really sad that you couldn't go and see your friends. What if you had one or two glasses of wine, like mom22dogs suggested? And balanced the eating with socializing?
Hmm...everything is almost opposite for me. Boring foods tends to make me eat less and go do something else. Why would anyone want to fill way up with cucumbers, celery sticks? LOL. The key with this is...you actually have to eat boring foods in order to eat less. Interesting foods, occasions would make me overeat. Third grade logic here.
Having one or two glasses of wine or whatever the restrictive amount of your favorite foods is very counterproductive to one's diet. You'll be stimulating your appetite and thus constantly testing your willpower, remembering to cut back. Why would you put yourself in a tough situation and then work hard to get out?
In this regard, I would eat until I'm satisfied physically and emotionally (and skip other meals to make up) or don't eat that good food at all which is much easier to do (for your diet). Eating foods in a superficial amount is also counterproductive.
Like you said, which I agree, food is meant to provide nutrients, a pleasure (but that has to be with enough quantify) and for socializing and what not, which has to be eaten the way it's meant.
Interesting. I guess everyone is different. I haven't found having one or two glasses of wine (or whatever smaller portion of foods) to be counter productive at all. This is coming from a woman who knows how to down and enjoy her wine/beer/liquor/food. I also don't feel like my willpower is being tested either if I eat smaller portions of foods I love. I wanted to say that maybe its because I've doing this for five months and it's second nature, but upon reflection, this wasn't an issue at the beginning either. Just a mental shift I guess.0 -
Losing when older IS different. With age we have more maturity and the experience of setting a plan and sticking to it! We have the motivation of health, family, and a longer life, not just a bikini. Lots of older women here have lost tons of weight (literally!). Age is just a number, so don't let anyone convince you differently, especially yourself.
I'm 61. I started shortly after my 59th birthday and losing a dear friend to CHF. I believe at this point in life we have the experience, maturity, and motivation to stick to our commitments. For most of us, it's about far more than looking good in a bikini. It doesn't matter whether its "harder" to lose weight at this age. Menopause doesn't matter. Working, not working, having family, having medical issues, etc. doesn't "matter" for this journey
What matters is that you decide what you want, make a plan, set some good habits, and follow them day in and day out. Don't sit around waiting to "feel motivated." Just act on your plan and follow your new habits, the same way you brush your teeth and take a shower.
I don't think about whether I "feel motivated" before I fix my meal, go on a walk, or go to fitness class. I do it because that is my plan and my decision. I don't want to go back to where I was--I felt awful physically and mentally--and that's enough to keep me on track. It's not easy, but it can be done. I've done it and after 27 months I am only a few pounds from my goal.
My view is that it's not necessarily harder at "our age". If it's a little harder physically, it can be easier mentally. Maybe we are more committed because "doing it for health" means a lot more. We have the life experience to stick with our goals and commitments. What "other people" think doesn't affect us as much. The mental aspect of weight loss is the hard part, and we have lots of skills in that area. Younger women frequently ask me what I've done & how I stay motivated. So it's not like they have it figured out and it's a breeze. Sometimes I feel bad that I'm not faster or stronger in classes, then I have to remind myself that at age 61 I'm often the oldest there and I've made immense progress in 2+ years. In the end, it's my own progress that matters.
Mentally it can be easier to lose as we get older because we've lived with the weight longer, want to get rid of it more badly, know how to commit to a goal, are more aware of the health concerns, and just have more internal motivation. Forget all the chatter about whether or not it's harder. At my small fitness studio, I've earned a lot of respect from many younger people who've been bouncing up and down the same 10 pounds while I've dropped 147.
I'd encourage you not to use age as an excuse. At this point in life we have the experience & maturity to overcome obstacles and reach our goals. Lots of women have done it!
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endlessfall16 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »dvdiamond11 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »What are the right things, and why do you quit eating them?
Its really about wrapping my brain around what I want more, to eat and drink and be social, or to use my willpower to say no, or to not drink (wine) when going out (yeah right). Last night my husband and I were invited to a yearly get together with a lot of our friends. He went without me. I decided the temptation was just too much to deal with. BTW, I live in wine country. Drinking wine is a way of life around these parts. I also work in the wine industry. So wine is everywhere and one of my passions.
I know I can do this,its just so danged hard!
Boring food and restrictive behavior tends to lead to overeating. We can do anything for a while, but what counts is what we can do for life. Eating and drinking is an important part of social occasions, food is designed (also by nature) to be a pleasure, and we are supposed to eat end enjoy it - you can't rely on your willpower for long to stop you from following your instincts. It sounds really sad that you couldn't go and see your friends. What if you had one or two glasses of wine, like mom22dogs suggested? And balanced the eating with socializing?
Hmm...everything is almost opposite for me. Boring foods tends to make me eat less and go do something else. Why would anyone want to fill way up with cucumbers, celery sticks? LOL. The key with this is...you actually have to eat boring foods in order to eat less. Interesting foods, occasions would make me overeat. Third grade logic here.
Having one or two glasses of wine or whatever the restrictive amount of your favorite foods is very counterproductive to one's diet. You'll be stimulating your appetite and thus constantly testing your willpower, remembering to cut back. Why would you put yourself in a tough situation and then work hard to get out?
In this regard, I would eat until I'm satisfied physically and emotionally (and skip other meals to make up) or don't eat that good food at all which is much easier to do (for your diet). Eating foods in a superficial amount is also counterproductive.
Like you said, which I agree, food is meant to provide nutrients, a pleasure (but that has to be with enough quantify) and for socializing and what not, which has to be eaten the way it's meant.
I think diet food is supposed to have the effect you get from it, but I have overeaten the boring food to try to get satisfaction, and then I overate junk food to try to get satisfaction. It didn't work, and I don't think it works for that many people. I eat much less when the food is great, interesting, tasty, delicious.
If wine is a trigger "food", and urges her to overconsume, then the OP shouldn't drink wine either. But we haven't been able to establish that.
The magic happens when we find a diet, structure, plan, whatever, that lets us enjoy food and eat to satiety, while losing and maintaining weight effortlessly. You will know it's working because it won't be hard. This will be something different for each person.0 -
ItsyBitsy246 wrote: »endlessfall16 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »dvdiamond11 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »What are the right things, and why do you quit eating them?
Its really about wrapping my brain around what I want more, to eat and drink and be social, or to use my willpower to say no, or to not drink (wine) when going out (yeah right). Last night my husband and I were invited to a yearly get together with a lot of our friends. He went without me. I decided the temptation was just too much to deal with. BTW, I live in wine country. Drinking wine is a way of life around these parts. I also work in the wine industry. So wine is everywhere and one of my passions.
I know I can do this,its just so danged hard!
Boring food and restrictive behavior tends to lead to overeating. We can do anything for a while, but what counts is what we can do for life. Eating and drinking is an important part of social occasions, food is designed (also by nature) to be a pleasure, and we are supposed to eat end enjoy it - you can't rely on your willpower for long to stop you from following your instincts. It sounds really sad that you couldn't go and see your friends. What if you had one or two glasses of wine, like mom22dogs suggested? And balanced the eating with socializing?
Hmm...everything is almost opposite for me. Boring foods tends to make me eat less and go do something else. Why would anyone want to fill way up with cucumbers, celery sticks? LOL. The key with this is...you actually have to eat boring foods in order to eat less. Interesting foods, occasions would make me overeat. Third grade logic here.
Having one or two glasses of wine or whatever the restrictive amount of your favorite foods is very counterproductive to one's diet. You'll be stimulating your appetite and thus constantly testing your willpower, remembering to cut back. Why would you put yourself in a tough situation and then work hard to get out?
In this regard, I would eat until I'm satisfied physically and emotionally (and skip other meals to make up) or don't eat that good food at all which is much easier to do (for your diet). Eating foods in a superficial amount is also counterproductive.
Like you said, which I agree, food is meant to provide nutrients, a pleasure (but that has to be with enough quantify) and for socializing and what not, which has to be eaten the way it's meant.
Interesting. I guess everyone is different. I haven't found having one or two glasses of wine (or whatever smaller portion of foods) to be counter productive at all. This is coming from a woman who knows how to down and enjoy her wine/beer/liquor/food. I also don't feel like my willpower is being tested either if I eat smaller portions of foods I love. I wanted to say that maybe its because I've doing this for five months and it's second nature, but upon reflection, this wasn't an issue at the beginning either. Just a mental shift I guess.
If you have no problem eating smaller portions, I don't know what challenge there is for you to lose or maintain your weight.
Another interesting (weird to me) thing from your previous post is " Exercise has always made me feel depressed and angry afterwards,"
It should be the opposite, quoted the Web:
"When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins. These endorphins interact with the receptors in your brain that reduce your perception of pain. Endorphins also trigger a positive feeling in the body, similar to that of morphine."
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kommodevaran wrote: »endlessfall16 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »dvdiamond11 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »What are the right things, and why do you quit eating them?
Its really about wrapping my brain around what I want more, to eat and drink and be social, or to use my willpower to say no, or to not drink (wine) when going out (yeah right). Last night my husband and I were invited to a yearly get together with a lot of our friends. He went without me. I decided the temptation was just too much to deal with. BTW, I live in wine country. Drinking wine is a way of life around these parts. I also work in the wine industry. So wine is everywhere and one of my passions.
I know I can do this,its just so danged hard!
Boring food and restrictive behavior tends to lead to overeating. We can do anything for a while, but what counts is what we can do for life. Eating and drinking is an important part of social occasions, food is designed (also by nature) to be a pleasure, and we are supposed to eat end enjoy it - you can't rely on your willpower for long to stop you from following your instincts. It sounds really sad that you couldn't go and see your friends. What if you had one or two glasses of wine, like mom22dogs suggested? And balanced the eating with socializing?
Hmm...everything is almost opposite for me. Boring foods tends to make me eat less and go do something else. Why would anyone want to fill way up with cucumbers, celery sticks? LOL. The key with this is...you actually have to eat boring foods in order to eat less. Interesting foods, occasions would make me overeat. Third grade logic here.
Having one or two glasses of wine or whatever the restrictive amount of your favorite foods is very counterproductive to one's diet. You'll be stimulating your appetite and thus constantly testing your willpower, remembering to cut back. Why would you put yourself in a tough situation and then work hard to get out?
In this regard, I would eat until I'm satisfied physically and emotionally (and skip other meals to make up) or don't eat that good food at all which is much easier to do (for your diet). Eating foods in a superficial amount is also counterproductive.
Like you said, which I agree, food is meant to provide nutrients, a pleasure (but that has to be with enough quantify) and for socializing and what not, which has to be eaten the way it's meant.
I think diet food is supposed to have the effect you get from it, but I have overeaten the boring food to try to get satisfaction, and then I overate junk food to try to get satisfaction. It didn't work, and I don't think it works for that many people. I eat much less when the food is great, interesting, tasty, delicious.
If wine is a trigger "food", and urges her to overconsume, then the OP shouldn't drink wine either. But we haven't been able to establish that.
The magic happens when we find a diet, structure, plan, whatever, that lets us enjoy food and eat to satiety, while losing and maintaining weight effortlessly. You will know it's working because it won't be hard. This will be something different for each person.
Strange day for me to run into so many contradicting thoughts/ideas. But nevertheless, interesting.
I think you use boring foods all wrong. Boring foods such as a simple sandwich, boiled eggs, cucumber salad, are meant for you to fill up quickly without a ton of calories, while aren't bad at nutrition. There's very little joy, satisfaction from them. That's why they are boring, per definition.
You are the first one I see that says tasty, interesting foods help you eat less. I think overweight people's diet issue is they like their foods too much. Put it another way, foods are too much fun and tasty to them.
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You can drink your wine. You can work it into your calorie goal. I don't drink but I have my daily "sweet treat".
Total deprivation is NOT necessary!!0 -
Hi, OP. Your "why bother" rhetorical struck me. Sorry to be Debbie downer on the thread, but here it goes. Someone close to me was in a similar situation at about age 55, the same 10 pounds up & down gradually creeping up, enjoyed tennis but enjoyed eating more.
The first harbinger was her tennis team dropped her because she made them lose. She did not replace the activity lost. She got T2 diabetes, lied about it and continued eating high glycemic until an episode hospitalized her, gaining copious weight the whole way. Now morbidly obese. Has not left her bedroom for 3 weeks because she cannot manage the stairs. Has had 3 back surgeries, shoulder surgery & hip replacement and NHL diffuse B-cell cancer-- all of which relate to obesity or diabetes joint degeneration. She has other obesity-related conditions I will not delineate. All of that surgery, and she is still immobile. She is in terrible pain (and does not tolerate narcotics well) because she has ruptured a 3rd disk. Basically, her spine keeps breaking under her weight.
At 55 she chose to steer her ship in the YOLO-this-is-what-I-want-today direction, and this is the destination she got 20 years later. She could have made the choice to steer her ship in a different direction. Even a small direction change can make a huge difference over a long journey.
Apologies for the long post. I just spent the day looking for a new place for her to live, so the heavy consequences are very present to me today. Don't do that to yourself, I implore you. Make small course corrections from where you are now. I truly believe deep in my heart that it is the small things we do consistently and faithfully that make the biggest impacts on our lives (and that goes for relationships and career even more than health). Best to you.5 -
endlessfall16 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »endlessfall16 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »dvdiamond11 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »What are the right things, and why do you quit eating them?
Its really about wrapping my brain around what I want more, to eat and drink and be social, or to use my willpower to say no, or to not drink (wine) when going out (yeah right). Last night my husband and I were invited to a yearly get together with a lot of our friends. He went without me. I decided the temptation was just too much to deal with. BTW, I live in wine country. Drinking wine is a way of life around these parts. I also work in the wine industry. So wine is everywhere and one of my passions.
I know I can do this,its just so danged hard!
Boring food and restrictive behavior tends to lead to overeating. We can do anything for a while, but what counts is what we can do for life. Eating and drinking is an important part of social occasions, food is designed (also by nature) to be a pleasure, and we are supposed to eat end enjoy it - you can't rely on your willpower for long to stop you from following your instincts. It sounds really sad that you couldn't go and see your friends. What if you had one or two glasses of wine, like mom22dogs suggested? And balanced the eating with socializing?
Hmm...everything is almost opposite for me. Boring foods tends to make me eat less and go do something else. Why would anyone want to fill way up with cucumbers, celery sticks? LOL. The key with this is...you actually have to eat boring foods in order to eat less. Interesting foods, occasions would make me overeat. Third grade logic here.
Having one or two glasses of wine or whatever the restrictive amount of your favorite foods is very counterproductive to one's diet. You'll be stimulating your appetite and thus constantly testing your willpower, remembering to cut back. Why would you put yourself in a tough situation and then work hard to get out?
In this regard, I would eat until I'm satisfied physically and emotionally (and skip other meals to make up) or don't eat that good food at all which is much easier to do (for your diet). Eating foods in a superficial amount is also counterproductive.
Like you said, which I agree, food is meant to provide nutrients, a pleasure (but that has to be with enough quantify) and for socializing and what not, which has to be eaten the way it's meant.
I think diet food is supposed to have the effect you get from it, but I have overeaten the boring food to try to get satisfaction, and then I overate junk food to try to get satisfaction. It didn't work, and I don't think it works for that many people. I eat much less when the food is great, interesting, tasty, delicious.
If wine is a trigger "food", and urges her to overconsume, then the OP shouldn't drink wine either. But we haven't been able to establish that.
The magic happens when we find a diet, structure, plan, whatever, that lets us enjoy food and eat to satiety, while losing and maintaining weight effortlessly. You will know it's working because it won't be hard. This will be something different for each person.
Strange day for me to run into so many contradicting thoughts/ideas. But nevertheless, interesting.
I think you use boring foods all wrong. Boring foods such as a simple sandwich, boiled eggs, cucumber salad, are meant for you to fill up quickly without a ton of calories, while aren't bad at nutrition. There's very little joy, satisfaction from them. That's why they are boring, per definition.
You are the first one I see that says tasty, interesting foods help you eat less. I think overweight people's diet issue is they like their foods too much. Put it another way, foods are too much fun and tasty to them.
Another case of not talking about the same things? When I think about boring food, I think about low fat yogurt, skim milk, boiled chicken breast, rice cakes, plain raw carrots, plain boiled potatoes, plain hard boiled eggs.
I used to think I liked food too much and that was why I couldn't stop eating, but I have learnt that I have just been wanting food/taste too much. Wanting also means missing, and I wanted taste and enjoyment from food too much because I didn't allow myself to have that. My liking has always been normal, and now my wanting is normal too, because I let myself have what I want and like and I don't worry about losing health and gaining weight.
What you are calling boring food, seems to be what I would call simple food. Simple food can be delicious and tasty, food doesn't have to be elaborate and expensive. Balanced and varied, well prepared, in appropriate amounts, simple food can be very pleasureable - to me.
I also have problems with the concept of "filling" foods - my experience is that the mere dilation of the stomach doesn't have too much to do with how satisfied I get. Nutritionists distinguish between "sated" and "satiated". This is a difference I have recognized. I can get "fed up" with boring food, but not satisfied. I will seek more food to get satisfaction. The problem for me was that I was gullible and stupid, and believed diet food was good, and that I just had to push through or something. So I didn't say "screw it, I'm eating what I like, give me some real food" - I said "everything that tastes good is bad for me, so then I'll just go for the food that tastes the most". Junk has a strong and simple tastes, not very rich and nuanced. Real food can quite possible taste boring to an untrained palate. I know I have been picking up more and more flavors during the last 2-3 years. It's like an adventure.0 -
I know exactly what I have to do. I know what foods to eat and how much to exercise. I have learned a lot about myself over the years. One of them is I am not 'moderation girl'. I have been trying to maintain my lifestyle and eat less and exercise more. That thinking got me into the trouble I am in now! Haha!
The truth is I have to be strict with myself at least for the first month just to get a groove going. I am just frustrated because capturing that frame of mind that just 'clicks' and gets you on your way seems to be absent.
When I was successful before I had a 'no slippery slope' policy. Which meant I could not give myself cheat days, a taste of this or that, a glass of wine. For me those are just triggers for excuses.
And 54 sucks! I thought the weight came off slow in my late 40's. Sheesh, this is like shoveling poop uphill only just to have it roll back down.
Thanks for letting me vent. I appreciate all the feedback.0 -
endlessfall16 wrote: »ItsyBitsy246 wrote: »endlessfall16 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »dvdiamond11 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »What are the right things, and why do you quit eating them?
Its really about wrapping my brain around what I want more, to eat and drink and be social, or to use my willpower to say no, or to not drink (wine) when going out (yeah right). Last night my husband and I were invited to a yearly get together with a lot of our friends. He went without me. I decided the temptation was just too much to deal with. BTW, I live in wine country. Drinking wine is a way of life around these parts. I also work in the wine industry. So wine is everywhere and one of my passions.
I know I can do this,its just so danged hard!
Boring food and restrictive behavior tends to lead to overeating. We can do anything for a while, but what counts is what we can do for life. Eating and drinking is an important part of social occasions, food is designed (also by nature) to be a pleasure, and we are supposed to eat end enjoy it - you can't rely on your willpower for long to stop you from following your instincts. It sounds really sad that you couldn't go and see your friends. What if you had one or two glasses of wine, like mom22dogs suggested? And balanced the eating with socializing?
Hmm...everything is almost opposite for me. Boring foods tends to make me eat less and go do something else. Why would anyone want to fill way up with cucumbers, celery sticks? LOL. The key with this is...you actually have to eat boring foods in order to eat less. Interesting foods, occasions would make me overeat. Third grade logic here.
Having one or two glasses of wine or whatever the restrictive amount of your favorite foods is very counterproductive to one's diet. You'll be stimulating your appetite and thus constantly testing your willpower, remembering to cut back. Why would you put yourself in a tough situation and then work hard to get out?
In this regard, I would eat until I'm satisfied physically and emotionally (and skip other meals to make up) or don't eat that good food at all which is much easier to do (for your diet). Eating foods in a superficial amount is also counterproductive.
Like you said, which I agree, food is meant to provide nutrients, a pleasure (but that has to be with enough quantify) and for socializing and what not, which has to be eaten the way it's meant.
Interesting. I guess everyone is different. I haven't found having one or two glasses of wine (or whatever smaller portion of foods) to be counter productive at all. This is coming from a woman who knows how to down and enjoy her wine/beer/liquor/food. I also don't feel like my willpower is being tested either if I eat smaller portions of foods I love. I wanted to say that maybe its because I've doing this for five months and it's second nature, but upon reflection, this wasn't an issue at the beginning either. Just a mental shift I guess.
If you have no problem eating smaller portions, I don't know what challenge there is for you to lose or maintain your weight.
Another interesting (weird to me) thing from your previous post is " Exercise has always made me feel depressed and angry afterwards,"
It should be the opposite, quoted the Web:
"When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins. These endorphins interact with the receptors in your brain that reduce your perception of pain. Endorphins also trigger a positive feeling in the body, similar to that of morphine."
So far it hasn't been too challenging; I hope I didn't jinx myself by saying that! Odd as it seems, I never really thought about counting calories until I started this in March. I just tried to eat healthy and "not too much" which over the years turned out to be too much indeed. My deficit isn't huge either, so that helps.
About the depression after exercise, I used to think I was a total freak until I started googling "depression after exercise" or some such search term and learned that I'm not the only one.
Here's one example: http://ask.metafilter.com/186518/Runners-low
ETA: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1209062/i-often-feel-super-depressed-after-exercise-why
I also have summer SAD, whereas most people with SAD seem to be affected by winter. Go figure.0 -
kommodevaran wrote: »endlessfall16 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »endlessfall16 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »dvdiamond11 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »What are the right things, and why do you quit eating them?
Its really about wrapping my brain around what I want more, to eat and drink and be social, or to use my willpower to say no, or to not drink (wine) when going out (yeah right). Last night my husband and I were invited to a yearly get together with a lot of our friends. He went without me. I decided the temptation was just too much to deal with. BTW, I live in wine country. Drinking wine is a way of life around these parts. I also work in the wine industry. So wine is everywhere and one of my passions.
I know I can do this,its just so danged hard!
Boring food and restrictive behavior tends to lead to overeating. We can do anything for a while, but what counts is what we can do for life. Eating and drinking is an important part of social occasions, food is designed (also by nature) to be a pleasure, and we are supposed to eat end enjoy it - you can't rely on your willpower for long to stop you from following your instincts. It sounds really sad that you couldn't go and see your friends. What if you had one or two glasses of wine, like mom22dogs suggested? And balanced the eating with socializing?
Hmm...everything is almost opposite for me. Boring foods tends to make me eat less and go do something else. Why would anyone want to fill way up with cucumbers, celery sticks? LOL. The key with this is...you actually have to eat boring foods in order to eat less. Interesting foods, occasions would make me overeat. Third grade logic here.
Having one or two glasses of wine or whatever the restrictive amount of your favorite foods is very counterproductive to one's diet. You'll be stimulating your appetite and thus constantly testing your willpower, remembering to cut back. Why would you put yourself in a tough situation and then work hard to get out?
In this regard, I would eat until I'm satisfied physically and emotionally (and skip other meals to make up) or don't eat that good food at all which is much easier to do (for your diet). Eating foods in a superficial amount is also counterproductive.
Like you said, which I agree, food is meant to provide nutrients, a pleasure (but that has to be with enough quantify) and for socializing and what not, which has to be eaten the way it's meant.
I think diet food is supposed to have the effect you get from it, but I have overeaten the boring food to try to get satisfaction, and then I overate junk food to try to get satisfaction. It didn't work, and I don't think it works for that many people. I eat much less when the food is great, interesting, tasty, delicious.
If wine is a trigger "food", and urges her to overconsume, then the OP shouldn't drink wine either. But we haven't been able to establish that.
The magic happens when we find a diet, structure, plan, whatever, that lets us enjoy food and eat to satiety, while losing and maintaining weight effortlessly. You will know it's working because it won't be hard. This will be something different for each person.
Strange day for me to run into so many contradicting thoughts/ideas. But nevertheless, interesting.
I think you use boring foods all wrong. Boring foods such as a simple sandwich, boiled eggs, cucumber salad, are meant for you to fill up quickly without a ton of calories, while aren't bad at nutrition. There's very little joy, satisfaction from them. That's why they are boring, per definition.
You are the first one I see that says tasty, interesting foods help you eat less. I think overweight people's diet issue is they like their foods too much. Put it another way, foods are too much fun and tasty to them.
Another case of not talking about the same things? When I think about boring food, I think about low fat yogurt, skim milk, boiled chicken breast, rice cakes, plain raw carrots, plain boiled potatoes, plain hard boiled eggs.
I used to think I liked food too much and that was why I couldn't stop eating, but I have learnt that I have just been wanting food/taste too much. Wanting also means missing, and I wanted taste and enjoyment from food too much because I didn't allow myself to have that. My liking has always been normal, and now my wanting is normal too, because I let myself have what I want and like and I don't worry about losing health and gaining weight.
What you are calling boring food, seems to be what I would call simple food. Simple food can be delicious and tasty, food doesn't have to be elaborate and expensive. Balanced and varied, well prepared, in appropriate amounts, simple food can be very pleasureable - to me.
I also have problems with the concept of "filling" foods - my experience is that the mere dilation of the stomach doesn't have too much to do with how satisfied I get. Nutritionists distinguish between "sated" and "satiated". This is a difference I have recognized. I can get "fed up" with boring food, but not satisfied. I will seek more food to get satisfaction. The problem for me was that I was gullible and stupid, and believed diet food was good, and that I just had to push through or something. So I didn't say "screw it, I'm eating what I like, give me some real food" - I said "everything that tastes good is bad for me, so then I'll just go for the food that tastes the most". Junk has a strong and simple tastes, not very rich and nuanced. Real food can quite possible taste boring to an untrained palate. I know I have been picking up more and more flavors during the last 2-3 years. It's like an adventure.
That reads a bit snobbish.
I can't imagine or describe the variety of tastes that Carl Jrs or any junk fast food places come up for their burgers and other items. They are not simple tastes if they are made of a dozen ingredients and are processed in many ways and some of which cannot be done at home, thus you cannot be used to the tastes.
Foods in their original forms tend to be boring. I suspect that has to do with evolution, like everyone in our ancestry knew the foods ever since they were around. Only thing new, and thus interesting, is how people throw together a bunch of item and come up with something unseen. There's virtually no cooking show that shows the beauty or appeal of original form foods. Inventing or cooking complex stuff is distinctly human and a positive trait that's encouraged.
"I also have problems with the concept of "filling" foods - my experience is that the mere dilation of the stomach doesn't have too much to do with how satisfied I get."
Again, you miss the point of eating "filling" foods. In wt control context, It's not possible to have satisfying eating all the time, especially in an abundant environment. It's human nature to seek more and more pleasure if allowed. Addictions do not stay the same level.
0 -
endlessfall16 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »endlessfall16 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »endlessfall16 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »dvdiamond11 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »What are the right things, and why do you quit eating them?
Its really about wrapping my brain around what I want more, to eat and drink and be social, or to use my willpower to say no, or to not drink (wine) when going out (yeah right). Last night my husband and I were invited to a yearly get together with a lot of our friends. He went without me. I decided the temptation was just too much to deal with. BTW, I live in wine country. Drinking wine is a way of life around these parts. I also work in the wine industry. So wine is everywhere and one of my passions.
I know I can do this,its just so danged hard!
Boring food and restrictive behavior tends to lead to overeating. We can do anything for a while, but what counts is what we can do for life. Eating and drinking is an important part of social occasions, food is designed (also by nature) to be a pleasure, and we are supposed to eat end enjoy it - you can't rely on your willpower for long to stop you from following your instincts. It sounds really sad that you couldn't go and see your friends. What if you had one or two glasses of wine, like mom22dogs suggested? And balanced the eating with socializing?
Hmm...everything is almost opposite for me. Boring foods tends to make me eat less and go do something else. Why would anyone want to fill way up with cucumbers, celery sticks? LOL. The key with this is...you actually have to eat boring foods in order to eat less. Interesting foods, occasions would make me overeat. Third grade logic here.
Having one or two glasses of wine or whatever the restrictive amount of your favorite foods is very counterproductive to one's diet. You'll be stimulating your appetite and thus constantly testing your willpower, remembering to cut back. Why would you put yourself in a tough situation and then work hard to get out?
In this regard, I would eat until I'm satisfied physically and emotionally (and skip other meals to make up) or don't eat that good food at all which is much easier to do (for your diet). Eating foods in a superficial amount is also counterproductive.
Like you said, which I agree, food is meant to provide nutrients, a pleasure (but that has to be with enough quantify) and for socializing and what not, which has to be eaten the way it's meant.
I think diet food is supposed to have the effect you get from it, but I have overeaten the boring food to try to get satisfaction, and then I overate junk food to try to get satisfaction. It didn't work, and I don't think it works for that many people. I eat much less when the food is great, interesting, tasty, delicious.
If wine is a trigger "food", and urges her to overconsume, then the OP shouldn't drink wine either. But we haven't been able to establish that.
The magic happens when we find a diet, structure, plan, whatever, that lets us enjoy food and eat to satiety, while losing and maintaining weight effortlessly. You will know it's working because it won't be hard. This will be something different for each person.
Strange day for me to run into so many contradicting thoughts/ideas. But nevertheless, interesting.
I think you use boring foods all wrong. Boring foods such as a simple sandwich, boiled eggs, cucumber salad, are meant for you to fill up quickly without a ton of calories, while aren't bad at nutrition. There's very little joy, satisfaction from them. That's why they are boring, per definition.
You are the first one I see that says tasty, interesting foods help you eat less. I think overweight people's diet issue is they like their foods too much. Put it another way, foods are too much fun and tasty to them.
Another case of not talking about the same things? When I think about boring food, I think about low fat yogurt, skim milk, boiled chicken breast, rice cakes, plain raw carrots, plain boiled potatoes, plain hard boiled eggs.
I used to think I liked food too much and that was why I couldn't stop eating, but I have learnt that I have just been wanting food/taste too much. Wanting also means missing, and I wanted taste and enjoyment from food too much because I didn't allow myself to have that. My liking has always been normal, and now my wanting is normal too, because I let myself have what I want and like and I don't worry about losing health and gaining weight.
What you are calling boring food, seems to be what I would call simple food. Simple food can be delicious and tasty, food doesn't have to be elaborate and expensive. Balanced and varied, well prepared, in appropriate amounts, simple food can be very pleasureable - to me.
I also have problems with the concept of "filling" foods - my experience is that the mere dilation of the stomach doesn't have too much to do with how satisfied I get. Nutritionists distinguish between "sated" and "satiated". This is a difference I have recognized. I can get "fed up" with boring food, but not satisfied. I will seek more food to get satisfaction. The problem for me was that I was gullible and stupid, and believed diet food was good, and that I just had to push through or something. So I didn't say "screw it, I'm eating what I like, give me some real food" - I said "everything that tastes good is bad for me, so then I'll just go for the food that tastes the most". Junk has a strong and simple tastes, not very rich and nuanced. Real food can quite possible taste boring to an untrained palate. I know I have been picking up more and more flavors during the last 2-3 years. It's like an adventure.
That reads a bit snobbish.
I can't imagine or describe the variety of tastes that Carl Jrs or any junk fast food places come up for their burgers and other items. They are not simple tastes if they are made of a dozen ingredients and are processed in many ways and some of which cannot be done at home, thus you cannot be used to the tastes.
Foods in their original forms tend to be boring. I suspect that has to do with evolution, like everyone in our ancestry knew the foods ever since they were around. Only thing new, and thus interesting, is how people throw together a bunch of item and come up with something unseen. There's virtually no cooking show that shows the beauty or appeal of original form foods. Inventing or cooking complex stuff is distinctly human and a positive trait that's encouraged.
I guess we just like what we like, and when we like something more, we have to like the other things less."I also have problems with the concept of "filling" foods - my experience is that the mere dilation of the stomach doesn't have too much to do with how satisfied I get."
Again, you miss the point of eating "filling" foods. In wt control context, It's not possible to have satisfying eating all the time, especially in an abundant environment. It's human nature to seek more and more pleasure if allowed.Addictions do not stay the same level.0 -
Losing when older IS different. With age we have more maturity and the experience of setting a plan and sticking to it! We have the motivation of health, family, and a longer life, not just a bikini. Lots of older women here have lost tons of weight (literally!). Age is just a number, so don't let anyone convince you differently, especially yourself.
I'm 61. I started shortly after my 59th birthday and losing a dear friend to CHF. I believe at this point in life we have the experience, maturity, and motivation to stick to our commitments. For most of us, it's about far more than looking good in a bikini. It doesn't matter whether its "harder" to lose weight at this age. Menopause doesn't matter. Working, not working, having family, having medical issues, etc. doesn't "matter" for this journey
What matters is that you decide what you want, make a plan, set some good habits, and follow them day in and day out. Don't sit around waiting to "feel motivated." Just act on your plan and follow your new habits, the same way you brush your teeth and take a shower.
I don't think about whether I "feel motivated" before I fix my meal, go on a walk, or go to fitness class. I do it because that is my plan and my decision. I don't want to go back to where I was--I felt awful physically and mentally--and that's enough to keep me on track. It's not easy, but it can be done. I've done it and after 27 months I am only a few pounds from my goal.
My view is that it's not necessarily harder at "our age". If it's a little harder physically, it can be easier mentally. Maybe we are more committed because "doing it for health" means a lot more. We have the life experience to stick with our goals and commitments. What "other people" think doesn't affect us as much. The mental aspect of weight loss is the hard part, and we have lots of skills in that area. Younger women frequently ask me what I've done & how I stay motivated. So it's not like they have it figured out and it's a breeze. Sometimes I feel bad that I'm not faster or stronger in classes, then I have to remind myself that at age 61 I'm often the oldest there and I've made immense progress in 2+ years. In the end, it's my own progress that matters.
Mentally it can be easier to lose as we get older because we've lived with the weight longer, want to get rid of it more badly, know how to commit to a goal, are more aware of the health concerns, and just have more internal motivation. Forget all the chatter about whether or not it's harder. At my small fitness studio, I've earned a lot of respect from many younger people who've been bouncing up and down the same 10 pounds while I've dropped 147.
I'd encourage you not to use age as an excuse. At this point in life we have the experience & maturity to overcome obstacles and reach our goals. Lots of women have done it!
Very inspiring! Thank you!1 -
I just can't keep seeing this thread title without a "that's what she said." I've tried. I can't.2
-
you're ahead of the game if you enjoy exercising. So start there. My advice is to "fake it till you make it."
Have you ever smiled when you were sad or started singing a fun song when you were down? It is almost impossible to stay sad and depressed. Once you work out and eat right for a few weeks.. it will start clicking..and you will be back on track. Just force yourself to go through the motions to start.
You also said.. "log every single bite" or something like that. Seems like the obsessing over the food is what drags you down. fyi.. i'm not logging real strict right now..some days not at all. Why? because I know my personality..and I don't want to do that forever ..it is like a prison sentence to me. So, I exercise I'm eating how I know I should.. and it is working.. I've been at it for 36 days now.. progress is just now showing.
1 -
kommodevaran wrote: »What are the right things?
For me, the right thinfs are low cal, nutritous and add volume aka veg. Also protein and fats.
For me the wrong things are sweets and alcohol because i find it hard to limit them once i start.
But sometimes the wrong things are so right!1 -
endlessfall16 wrote: »It should be the opposite, quoted the Web:
"When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins. These endorphins interact with the receptors in your brain that reduce your perception of pain. Endorphins also trigger a positive feeling in the body, similar to that of morphine."
Not everyone gets endorphins or "runner's high".1
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