Terrified of working out in front of others

Your not scared of what ppl think its your own demons that are holding you back. Not to be rude by anymeans. But you have to ignore the voice in your head saying you cant and take it in small steps. Even just walking around the block or neighborhood listening to music as you walk is better then sitting there. Again Im not trying to cut you down at all. Im actually trying to help you recognize your beating yourself up. We are always our own worst enemy. Even myself I get down on myself and get in funks. It happens, but like Rocky tells his son. If not how hard you can get hit, its how hard you can get knocked down and get up and Keep Moving FORWARD!

I was the same way, so for a long time I avoided going to the gym.

One day I came to the realization that the other people working out are just doing their own thing, and they likely don't even notice me or care that I'm there. Once you realize that too, there will be nothing can stop you!

when you go into a gym you'll notice the number of people in shape is much lower than those that aren't. A good portion of them are just as uncomfortable as you are so just remember they are looking at themselves way more than you.

The biggest clue here was found in your own words "I won't even go swimming because *I* hate how my body looks." You don't like your body, so you are making the assumption that other people are going to look at you, and feel the same way about your body as you do.

I too used to feel like you do, in fact, I rarely go out because I am ashamed at what I have become, physically. I did go to a college gym, and 3 guys were staring at me, giggling like schoolgirls, and I got completely embarrassed and left, never to return to that gym. I refused to go to a gym for a year afterwards, convinced it was all about how awful I looked, they were *obviously* laughing at my fat *kitten* trying to work out...right?

*IF* true, that was *their* failure to be a compassionate human being, not my failing.

MY failing was sitting home for years afterwards, allowing fear to control me. My failure was allowing what I *feared* would come from others dictate what I am willing to do for myself. I subscribed to Daily Burn and worked out at home, first doing the beginners workout and then graduating to the DB365 workout which I have done every day since. Currently, I am shopping around, for a woman's gym, just so I worry *less* about guys staring at me. But after a year, I can say that I regret WAY more failing myself than that momentary feeling of humiliation. I let them win, and it was ME who created that victory for them by allowing it to CHANGE ME, instead of ME changing ME so I didn't give others the power to change me. If that makes sense.

I still won't do public swimming with my son, run for the bus if I am going to miss it, all because of my view of MYSELF that I then project onto what I feel is a very ugly and judgemental public view of me...but in the end, the problem is with me, and knowing that, I truly AM working on it.

I'm saying this because I want you know you are not alone in your feelings but I also am saying it because I hope you can change your outlook about yourself way sooner than I have. I have so many regrets and so much shame because of what I have MISSED in my life due to my insecurity not because of what size my butt is. Find a way to see the beauty in yourself, and worry less about what others *may* think.

If I could redo the last 30 years of my life, I would take 10x the amount of humiliation I ever feared or received in exchange for getting all those wasted years back.

Exercise for YOU. Aspire to health, for YOU. Love you where you ARE because it is the foundation of everything you will become.

As I heard the other day " What you are today is the result of what you did yesterday. What you are tomorrow is the result of what you do today." I am trying to live that.

Find a way you feel comfortable doing for your body what you WANT to be able to do. Best wishes.

I had this fear as well. Then one day I asked myself, "how often do you look at other people working out" and I realized I NEVER DO. EVER. And then I figured everyone else probably also NEVER LOOKS AT ME. And that was it for me.

I used to think like OP as well. Then I sucked it up and joined a gym and rapidly discovered that people are there to work out, not watch other people work out and the self consciousness disappeared. Now I wander in and crack on with it.
I started going to a fitness class a few years ago when I got into the idea of getting fit and was terrified I'd be the fat guy at the back. I turned up and was indeed the fat guy at the back. Everyone else there was already quite fit. Did they scorn me or look down their noses at me? Nope. Each and every one of them was super supportive and turned out to be really nice folks to boot and this has generally been my experience with fitness in general. All of the people I've met are there for their own reasons and are in their own world, me included, and don't care if the person on the next bit of kit over is a 180lb, 8% bodyfat ninja warrior candidate or a 450lb, 40% bodyfat person trying to shed some pounds. Everyone is there to work out and that's it.

Eleven months ago I joined Crossfit which if you've seen a lot of the videos is inhabited by 20 somethings who you wonder why they are there because they look terrific and pretty much are done. It took several months to realize that those people are there to work-out and focus on their results and their own body issues. I'm not saying I take my shirt off like some of the other 40+'s at the box but I don't feel bad about turning around to wipe the sweat off my face with my shirt. I don't feel bad anymore because by going to the gym for (almost) consistently for a year now, I'm able to lift heavier weights, do more reps and last just a little longer than the 20-somethings. It is that mental pride in the little progress that gave me the confidence to take that little step.

Stick with it, you'll get there in you're own time.

honestly... I just don't care what any one else thinks. Why would a stranger's opinion of me matter? I wouldn't even care if a close friend or relative questioned how my body looks.

I'm lacking in whatever it is that makes people self-conscious.

gothomson wrote: »

Actually, one more thing I forgot about. Around 4 weeks ago I DID notice someone, it was a young guy, about early 20's working with a personal trainer, he clearly had problems with his legs and had crutches. The only thing I though was "so here am I moaning internally about my treadmill run, and that guys just getting on with it...get over yourself". The most inspiring people I've seen at gyms are people like that, buff men and women are great don't get me wrong, but I really admire commitment like that more.

Yep, kid in his 20's at my gym in a wheel chair, lost use of legs in a motorcycle accident. Really gets after it.

WorkingToBeSkinny wrote: »

Once I am skinny, then yes, I will happily swim and work out in front of other humans. Until then, I can't summon up the courage to have my fat on display for exercising.

Here's the thing...the self-esteem issues don't automatically resolve when you've lost the weight. They're not really linked to your current weight; you just think they are. Either they get fixed because you invest the time and emotional resources to fix them, or they never go away. It's more efficient to fix them now, while you're also working on your physical self, but you can wait until after you've lost the weight to work on them if you want to.

WorkingToBeSkinny wrote: »

I am absolutely terrified of working out in front of other people, even family. I won't even go swimming because I hate how my body looks. How do you cope when you hate other people looking at your body while working out?

I was mortified when I figured out that I'd have to either wear running tights or get frostbite running in the winter..... it took me about 30 seconds to figure out that nobody else cares what we look like, whether you're at the gym or out for a run you're just part of the landscape (unless you show up wearing fuscia tights & a feather boa....)

My whole fitness journey started as a result of seeing a large (over 300 lbs) guy playing old-timer soccer one Friday night while my son had his practice. My first thought was if he's doing it I have no excuses. Soccer led to running and the rest is history,

I can also tell you from personal experience that the vast majority of runners & folks at the gym are far more likely to be encouraging rather than judgemental.

Don't let what you think other people may think limit you.

People in gyms will look at anyone NEW or OLD and its really just a glance and they move on but, wait until you show up everyday and strangers get to know you and then let the chit-chat begin. If I dont show up at the gym the next day I get grilled "where were you yesterday"?. The gym can turn into the sitcom cheers real fast if your schedule is consistent.

You will never regret going but you will always regret not going, don't let yourself or strangers stop you!

When I go to the gym and see someone my size or heavier than me working out, it encourages me. I am also proud of them and I find them inspiring. I feel the same when I see someone older than me working out. It helps me to never give up. I never make fun or think bad thoughts about them and I bet most people don't. Most people are focused on themselves. Those that do act ugly towards people at the gym have a bigger problem than those who are over weight. Focus on yourself and don't worry about anyone else.

I used to be the same way, if you feel uncomfortable going to the gym bring a close friend or relative with you it makes things a lot more enjoyable and fun. Plus the gym should be a "no-judge" zone, people are there to better their health and believe it or not most people aren't caring or watching you when you work out (secretly they are rooting for you!) but if gyms aren't your thing, find other alternatives like hiking, walking outdoors, bike riding, DVD workout videos. etc etc. Lastly you just shouldn't care about what people think you, have self-confidence and believe in yourself!