Here we go again!

Hello! I'm a 21 year old who has struggled with weight her whole life. Starting at 8 years old, I saw dieticians, counted calories, and was a fairly active kid with no detectable underlying health problems, yet I still gained a lot of weight. Because of these things, everyone assumed it was a phase and I would slim down as I grew up.

Well, clearly I haven't magically thinned out because here I am now. Depression and social anxiety caused me to lock myself up in my bedroom for a lot of my younger years, and I hit 220lbs around 14-15. All I did was sleep, eat, repeat. Now I'm a grown up with bills, so I work a desk job, sleep, eat, repeat. On top of that, I started a depression medication notorious for causing weight gain in December, so for the first time in years, I've gained MORE weight. I stayed between 215-225 for the last 5-ish years but now, I regret to say I am around 260.

 This isn't so much a "I wanna be skinny!" thing as it is a health thing. I feel it starting to wear on me already. I'm way too easily winded and you should see how ridiculously high my heart rate gets after 10 minutes on a stationary bike, haha. Also, when jeans I've been wearing for years suddenly stopped fitting, and that's when I realized I really need to do something, because it's not like I was small to begin with!

I have a tendency to be an extremist -- I eat whatever I want or restrict like crazy, I am lazy or I spend 2+ hours a day at the gym. I'm trying to find the healthy, maintainable balance, because clearly, neither option is working for me.

So, wish me luck! If you wanna be friends, feel free to add me.