Successes and Disappointments, Need Some Boosting

Quasita
Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
edited December 3 in Success Stories
So I randomly post, and I've been here on MFP for quite a while. Many people know me. I post a decent amount, share a lot of TMI details... My road has been a rather rocky one.

Anyway, back in April, I made the very difficult decision, after making it through 100+ lbs lost on my own, that it was time to venture into the aggressive world of weight loss surgery. I've been working hard, sticking to the plan for the most part (I still let myself have some things I love, on occasion, since post-op, I can't do that) and I've been doing great. Since April, I've lost 9" on my waist, only maybe 10lbs in NET weight but have gained muscle mass and stamina, as well as been working with a trainer and meeting all my marks.

I still weigh around 420lbs, and at 6'1", this makes me approximately 250lbs overweight. After just 4 months of work with the program, they deemed me ready (much because of all the work I've already done without them) so we filed the pre-auth... and I was one of the programs very rare denials.

My insurance has said, it's not medically necessary. I get to jump hoops to try and resolve this, and I'm literally losing myself to the anxiety. For the first time in nearly 3 years, I had to ask my doctor for a temporary Rx for meds to help me with my anxiety disorder, because I'm continually having panic issues...

And yet, I'm successful, because I strive to be triumphant. It's been about a week since the denial came down, and I have no idea if this is going to be happening. I keep pushing and trudging on because a girl's gotta do, right? So I made myself a reminder, of how far I've come. Now sitting at ~130lbs gone, give or take (I don't log this right now on MFP because it fluctuates quite a bit, but I promise, it's true lol)... SO I wanted to share with y'all.

This is how DIFFERENT just my face looks after only 1/3 of my weight loss goal gone. The rest of me looks like a melting Hershey's kiss, and I can't keep most of my clothes on properly. Don't lose your gall, in the face of adversity. Even if someone wants to take away your crutches, you hop on that one leg till you reach the shop that makes peg legs... amiright?

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Replies

  • hrtunstall
    hrtunstall Posts: 49 Member
    Great accomplishment! You've already proven you can do it with MFP. Just keep chipping away regardless of what the insurer says. You can reach your goals.
  • KarenMoeller2
    KarenMoeller2 Posts: 25 Member
    "CHANGE HAPPENS WHEN THE PAIN OF STAYING THE SAME EXCEEDS THAT OF MAKING A CHANGE"
    You look amazing. You have already lost almost the entire amount I need to lose. That s so encouraging to me. Thanks you for sharing your journey!
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    "CHANGE HAPPENS WHEN THE PAIN OF STAYING THE SAME EXCEEDS THAT OF MAKING A CHANGE"
    You look amazing. You have already lost almost the entire amount I need to lose. That s so encouraging to me. Thanks you for sharing your journey!

    Thank you! M'dear, you can do you!!! I'm not going to lie and say it's been an easy road and it has taken me nearly 3x as long as everyone said it should to even get this far, but just have to remind yourself that even if it *should* make sense a certain way, it doesn't always follow the path of logic. If our bodies were logic-driven, we would stop gaining/losing mass when we reached peak state, right?

    I'm glad that it's encouraging... If anything comes of my struggles, giving others the confidence to not lose hope would be a pretty good one.
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    hrtunstall wrote: »
    Great accomplishment! You've already proven you can do it with MFP. Just keep chipping away regardless of what the insurer says. You can reach your goals.

    In all honesty, even with the insurer being a jerk, I've debated... Would I still do this, even if I had to raise the money or pay for it out of pocket? I might legit try. All I know is... Whether I walk or stand still, time will continue going on so I might as well go with it.
  • derbycitycat
    derbycitycat Posts: 175 Member
    Awesome weight loss! If you have lost this much on your own, do you really need to go thru the pain of the surgery? I've read so many stories of the surgery not working long term, I'd be afraid to try it. I'd rather be able to eat what I want, in moderation of course.
  • Chilli7777
    Chilli7777 Posts: 112 Member
    Youve done so well!
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    Awesome weight loss! If you have lost this much on your own, do you really need to go thru the pain of the surgery? I've read so many stories of the surgery not working long term, I'd be afraid to try it. I'd rather be able to eat what I want, in moderation of course.

    The million dollar question... And I wrote out a whole thing, that by accident, got eliminated... Suffice it to say, I went through many options. I stalled out after 115lbs lost at the beginning of 2015. After a few months of being stuck, we started putting in changes... tried courses of phentermine to kickstart, changed routines, added/removed dietary supplements, etc etc etc. None of these things was showing more than a very very modest amount of progress, that was usually short-lived. Without other medical reasoning for the situation, there is potentially a viable explanation that my previous issues with "hold onto everything" during my hayday of eating disorder territory may be, well, stuck... and so I finally decided to reach out to the Med Center's medical weightloss program.

    They are a research hospital, and very good at what they do... they program has both surgical and non-surgical medical weight loss. The non-surgical option is a VLCD that is structured around specific food sources that you prep at home and a plethora of support personnel, including personal trainers and psychologists. It is *very* expensive out of pocket... and guess what? Insurance rarely covers that option. My insurance, they will not cover any medical weight loss intervention, no professional consults, imaging, testing, none of it, unless it is directly associated with a surgery and thus considered preparation or support to guarantee the success of said surgery.

    I have been debating this for a long time. I actually thought about doing surgery when I was at my heaviest, but because of my personality, I was defiant and said, I am going to do this as hard as I can on my own before I think about this option... But I had always told myself that if going the path alone showed that I still needed the help, I needed to let myself ask. And well, I decided to ask. Most WLS programs will require you to basically do what I did anyway, though they usually require only a 25lbs lost prior to surgery...

    But the good thing about surgery is not just the weight loss initially. It's the fact that it gives you a tool that when used properly, guarantees a maintaining of that change. Unlike previous losses where maybe, I would get depressed and go straight into ice cream for dinner mode, I can't do that after this. The changes to my digestive system will be such that if I go into ice cream for dinner mode, it might taste nice, but it will give me such bad diarrhea that I will not want to do it again. Feel me? Not that I'm planning on this... but it's an example.

    Everyone has to figure out their roads... and for me, I'm on year 4 of trying to lose weight. People who are on this path without complications would be nearing the home stretch of my initial need to lose 350+lbs. If I lost a steady 1-2lbs a week during all that time.. I'd be there and be talking about skin reduction. However, weight loss has caused me to be sick, it's caused me to have surgical fixes to non-digestive organs... and so ultimately, we're trying to make my last loss be quick and permanent, so that if I do get sick from the hormone changes and stuff again, I can at least only face one more setback from that, instead of another 5-10 years of the 1 step forward .5 step back.

    #longanswers lol
  • jenanon1
    jenanon1 Posts: 58 Member
    Your face change pics are amazing and I'm sorry you haven't been given the go ahead for surgery. We are all here cheering for you as you continue on your journey, I for one enjoy hearing your thoughts and musings on your situation. Big hugs xxx
  • angievaughn
    angievaughn Posts: 655 Member
    The change is so amazing. YOU know I love you and have watched you grow and struggle over the last couple of years!! I am in your corner cheering you on!! Just keep pushing like you always do!! You will get there. Either way I think you are a beautiful person...inside and out!!!
  • rldeclercq4
    rldeclercq4 Posts: 269 Member
    It seems to me like you know the answer, that you don't need the surgery. Certainly it's up to you, ultimately, but it just seems you're trying to convince yourself you NEED the surgery, but you know in your heart how far you've made it and how you can have success without surgery. You're currently at 420. I started at 370. You're 3 inches taller than I. In 2016 I've lost 128 lbs and am clocking in under 240. Now, that not all apples to oranges, but it shows how possible it is, and it's so rewarding, but you already know that
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    It seems to me like you know the answer, that you don't need the surgery. Certainly it's up to you, ultimately, but it just seems you're trying to convince yourself you NEED the surgery, but you know in your heart how far you've made it and how you can have success without surgery. You're currently at 420. I started at 370. You're 3 inches taller than I. In 2016 I've lost 128 lbs and am clocking in under 240. Now, that not all apples to oranges, but it shows how possible it is, and it's so rewarding, but you already know that

    On the contrary, I do need the surgery. The conflict in me is the giving up control, that I have to accept that *I don't have all the answers on my own* and I do need a professional team's help. It's taken you a whopping 9 months to accomplish what has taken me 48+ months of disasters, surgeries and near death to accomplish. At a certain point, you have to stop bringing people down and dissing their choices, and start recognizing that some of us really do come to the point I'm at because the "logical" calories in vs calories out isn't cutting it... the weight loss stall is over a year going now. The only thing that has made ANY impact has been medically guided VLCD so far. So yeah, I'm going to do the surgery.
  • txfyreflye
    txfyreflye Posts: 91 Member
    This is how DIFFERENT just my face looks after only 1/3 of my weight loss goal gone. The rest of me looks like a melting Hershey's kiss, and I can't keep most of my clothes on properly.

    That is THE perfect description! I tell people that I now look like a deflated Macy Parade Balloon- hence no bikini here! lol

    But you keep pluggin, ok? You're doing great!!!
  • rldeclercq4
    rldeclercq4 Posts: 269 Member
    Quasita wrote: »
    It seems to me like you know the answer, that you don't need the surgery. Certainly it's up to you, ultimately, but it just seems you're trying to convince yourself you NEED the surgery, but you know in your heart how far you've made it and how you can have success without surgery. You're currently at 420. I started at 370. You're 3 inches taller than I. In 2016 I've lost 128 lbs and am clocking in under 240. Now, that not all apples to oranges, but it shows how possible it is, and it's so rewarding, but you already know that

    On the contrary, I do need the surgery. The conflict in me is the giving up control, that I have to accept that *I don't have all the answers on my own* and I do need a professional team's help. It's taken you a whopping 9 months to accomplish what has taken me 48+ months of disasters, surgeries and near death to accomplish. At a certain point, you have to stop bringing people down and dissing their choices, and start recognizing that some of us really do come to the point I'm at because the "logical" calories in vs calories out isn't cutting it... the weight loss stall is over a year going now. The only thing that has made ANY impact has been medically guided VLCD so far. So yeah, I'm going to do the surgery.

    It wasn't my intent to diss or bring you down. I'm sorry I was not more clear. I interpreted your original post as hedging that surgery wasn't what you really wanted to do. You do you!
  • DanerTee
    DanerTee Posts: 263 Member
    The change is nothing short of amazing. I won't comment on your surgery decision, because that is entirely a personal one, but well done, what you've done should make you very proud of yourself indeed.
  • fostersu
    fostersu Posts: 327 Member
    Many thanks for sharing. Many congrats on how far you've come to far. Many commiserating groans at how difficult health insurance is and the burdens of anxiety.
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