I just got dumped

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  • NancyCaz61
    NancyCaz61 Posts: 136 Member
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    I'm sorry to hear of your break up :( I honestly think you should do what you think will make you feel better. If that's eating Chinese food and drinking soda, then do it (it's probably what I would do!). If you do, then just have it, own it and move on. You will feel differently today than you will feel tomorrow, and the day after that, etc. Take a step each day to do something good for YOU.
  • Rhumax67
    Rhumax67 Posts: 162 Member
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    Paybacks a b*t*h! and the best way to payback is having a wonderful life & being the wonderful person you are!
  • 20pnds_goal
    20pnds_goal Posts: 4 Member
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    Don't see it as bad news but mostly like a learning experience and events that make you stronger. Got dumped, their lose. Just go to the gym and make sure that the next time that person sees you, you're sexy asf and that you're doing okay without that person.
  • fostersu
    fostersu Posts: 327 Member
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    That's rough, I'm sorry. Even when its for the best it still hurts so much. Forgive yourself the cravings - that'll happen. I liked the suggestion to increase to maintenance for a few days while you settle. Take care of yourself in the best ways - treat if you need to, but know its rest and exercise and nutritious food that will heal you in the long run.
  • BasicGreatGuy
    BasicGreatGuy Posts: 868 Member
    edited September 2016
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    When one rejects you in a relationship, it isn't about you (most times) as it is really about the other person. Said rejection should not be internalized in a manner that sees the love given as something that was wrong.

    Rejection does not mean that there is something inherently wrong with you. There is no need to view it as something negative.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
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    When I broke up with my boyfriend (it was mutual but he brought it up), I went to the bar alone, got drunk on wine, then came home and ate all the food I wanted.
  • bluelilac102
    bluelilac102 Posts: 79 Member
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    arditarose wrote: »
    When I broke up with my boyfriend (it was mutual but he brought it up), I went to the bar alone, got drunk on wine, then came home and ate all the food I wanted.

    Hahaha, same. That was me only a mere six or seven months ago. But then we breathe and move on.
  • littlewomensmom
    littlewomensmom Posts: 54 Member
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    It doesn't hurt her one bit when you take your pain out on yourself. Treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated. Your value will rise in your own eyes and the eyes of others the more you do. Get into a relationship with someone who is crazy about you!
  • valerialeek
    valerialeek Posts: 65 Member
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    Well, me too. After 11 years of marriage. I'm now separated. "I love you but I don't love you that way anymore".
  • tanny684
    tanny684 Posts: 196 Member
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    beginforthelasttime16 wrote: »
    So last night I got the good ol' "it just doesn't feel right" talk and now I only want to eat is chinese food and drink coke.


    What do you guys do when you get life altering bad news?

    Also, feel free to add me- I'm always looking for support and motivation.


    This can make you or break you. For a star to be born one thing must happen....a gaseous nebula must collapse. So collapse, crumble....this is not your destruction.....this is your birth.

    This is not bad news, this is good news. Let the pain and heartache fuel you. This is your time to invest in you. You but version 2.0. Better, stronger, fitter....happier.

    If you must have one day where you get Chinese food, ice cream, sad films and eat and cry. But then that is it. Make copies of or hide everything you have from him or burn it. Then every time you think of him re focus the thoughts on YOU.

    Get in the gym. You need the endorphins from exercise right now. It will make you feel good.

    Eat healthily. Eating crap and feeling bad will only make you feel worse.

    Read books, self help books, fiction no fiction whatever it is read and educate yourself.

    Go outside. Even if you don't feel like it. Go and be with people, volunteer. Don't go drinking. Partying means you see people at their worst, then compare them to and miss your ex. See people at their best.

    Get a make over. Hair done, new make up, new outfit. Anything that makes you feel good.

    Your ex will very likely have changed his mind by the time you get done with this. But by this time you will be the one saying....actually....it wasn't working out.

    A break up can be the key you need to change your life. Pain can be a fuel or a fire. It can consume you or it can fuel you. Let it be the fuel for you to change your life.

  • beginforthelasttime16
    beginforthelasttime16 Posts: 533 Member
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    valerialeek wrote: »
    Well, me too. After 11 years of marriage. I'm now separated. "I love you but I don't love you that way anymore".

    I am so so sorry that that happened to you!
  • Maby1987
    Maby1987 Posts: 27 Member
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    I'd eat the chinese, feel sad for the night, then shove two fingers up (yes I'm very lady like) and get back to it.
  • sandrachis
    sandrachis Posts: 52 Member
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    Men are like busses- another one will come along in 20 minutes. You are young and beautiful, what can go wrong.
  • louann_jude
    louann_jude Posts: 307 Member
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    I haven't been dumped in a while. I remember one about ten years ago. I was living with this guy and his daughter. I loved her. I knew it wasn't working but I still tried for the little girl. He cheated though he denied it. Eventually he moved out and broke up with me cause I was to 'clingy'. Six months later he married the one I think he cheated on me with on my birthday.

    A few years later she cheated on him and left for someone else. I saw him later and he was bad. He looked at me and said for what it's worth I'm sorry. I just looked at him and laughed and said you thought you found better.

    I went through a few other break ups after that before I met my fiancee. I know it hurt at the time but if I hadn't gone through what I did I wouldn't be ready for who I have now. I was 34 and had two kids before I met him. When I was with Robbie I was a stay at home like now. Everything I did for him I do now. But then it felt like so much effort and I was not happy. Now I am at so much peace being a stay at home mom. It gets hard from time to time but I don't feel like I am out of place.

    I always turned to food before and sometimes still need that comfort. But I have found cleaning helps me so much. It helps me process and work out anxieties.
  • louann_jude
    louann_jude Posts: 307 Member
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    valerialeek wrote: »
    Well, me too. After 11 years of marriage. I'm now separated. "I love you but I don't love you that way anymore".

    I am sorry you are going through this.
  • jmkisby
    jmkisby Posts: 4 Member
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    Just know that person just wasn't the right person for you and now you're better off - and so are they. Use it to fuel you to achieve more instead of being you down! It hurts now but it's a temporary feeling. You don't want it to offset all your progress! Let yourself have a meal or day off and then get back to it. You deserve better than someone who isn't interested, right? They did you a favor! :)

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