Anyone on here on Fetlife?
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Replies
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Is there a group for mostly vanillas? Maybe for vanillas with a cherry on top for when they're feeling 'venturous?
Seriously, for those who are inclined to categorize themselves and/or meet others with the same sort of sexual proclivities, it's nice that they have a place to gather and converse about the merits of the square knot versus the slipknot or whatever they're into.
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On there, but not very active. There is a lot of bs on that site, and I just can't do all the drama.1
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sunnybeaches105 wrote: »salembambi wrote: »sunnybeaches105 wrote: »salembambi wrote: »
How can I find some one safe to train me?
@Angela937
Fetlife is a good resource for finding events near your location. Look for munches or other educational workshops. Meet people in the community. Finds someone you respect and ask if they will mentor you. No, not someone who makes your girly parts wet. Preferably someone of the same sex if you are hetero, opposite sex if you are queer. Basically someone you have no sexual interest in.
Do not buy into the idea of "trainers" or "mentors" who want to play with you. These are almost always people who want to prey on newbies.
Do not play online, do not go play with people you just met online. People, (especially women), new to this often get caught up in a frenzy and make decisions that put their safety at risk.
Your safest option in the early stages of exploration is to play in a public setting with persons you can get community references for. Once you have a better understanding of your desires and safety protocols, then start to seek out a partner(s) for more private and intimate exploration.
And mostly, please always remeber that all the standard rules for relationships and communication apply. They don't go out the window simply because a fetish is involved.
Feel free to message me if you have any questions.
Thanks!
be careful tho i dont take that site seriously at all because it is just saturated with psychopaths
There are psychos on a fetish website? I guess I really mean, "there are psychos on a website?" Who knew?
youve obviously never been on fetlife before
its cool to be a psychopath there i mean that literally
literally killing things for pleasure
Is this the let's humble brag about our fetish experience portion of the program?
i dont typically get offended on this website
but you implying that i am one of those people is offensive as hell0 -
salembambi wrote: »sunnybeaches105 wrote: »salembambi wrote: »sunnybeaches105 wrote: »salembambi wrote: »
How can I find some one safe to train me?
@Angela937
Fetlife is a good resource for finding events near your location. Look for munches or other educational workshops. Meet people in the community. Finds someone you respect and ask if they will mentor you. No, not someone who makes your girly parts wet. Preferably someone of the same sex if you are hetero, opposite sex if you are queer. Basically someone you have no sexual interest in.
Do not buy into the idea of "trainers" or "mentors" who want to play with you. These are almost always people who want to prey on newbies.
Do not play online, do not go play with people you just met online. People, (especially women), new to this often get caught up in a frenzy and make decisions that put their safety at risk.
Your safest option in the early stages of exploration is to play in a public setting with persons you can get community references for. Once you have a better understanding of your desires and safety protocols, then start to seek out a partner(s) for more private and intimate exploration.
And mostly, please always remeber that all the standard rules for relationships and communication apply. They don't go out the window simply because a fetish is involved.
Feel free to message me if you have any questions.
Thanks!
be careful tho i dont take that site seriously at all because it is just saturated with psychopaths
There are psychos on a fetish website? I guess I really mean, "there are psychos on a website?" Who knew?
youve obviously never been on fetlife before
its cool to be a psychopath there i mean that literally
literally killing things for pleasure
Is this the let's humble brag about our fetish experience portion of the program?
i dont typically get offended on this website
but you implying that i am one of those people is offensive as hell
Ah yes, the "let's twist words as far as possible to take false offense when I challenge someone and they call me on it" MFP game. Enjoy your umbrage. No fs given.
1 -
I joined just to find out about fun social events (although turns out fetlife isn't necessary for that). Because I like to socialize, dance (obviously), listen to better music than the latest pop tunes (better is my opinion, others might not agree). And it's something my husband can enjoy with me (he didn't want to go to other dance events I used to go to that weren't as fun). I like the events, a lot of people I have met, and a wider age range. Plus other fun aspects. Some people like to socialize, just like people are doing on mfp right now.0
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Noelani1503 wrote: »Interesting. I guess I should consider myself lucky. I've yet to come across a psychopath. A few jerks, but no true crazies.
Majority of people I have seen are fine. Really just one scary person early on that I can specifically think of (wasn't even going to mention it), but it did make an impression. But, I am not active on there.0 -
sunnybeaches105 wrote: »salembambi wrote: »sunnybeaches105 wrote: »salembambi wrote: »sunnybeaches105 wrote: »salembambi wrote: »
How can I find some one safe to train me?
@Angela937
Fetlife is a good resource for finding events near your location. Look for munches or other educational workshops. Meet people in the community. Finds someone you respect and ask if they will mentor you. No, not someone who makes your girly parts wet. Preferably someone of the same sex if you are hetero, opposite sex if you are queer. Basically someone you have no sexual interest in.
Do not buy into the idea of "trainers" or "mentors" who want to play with you. These are almost always people who want to prey on newbies.
Do not play online, do not go play with people you just met online. People, (especially women), new to this often get caught up in a frenzy and make decisions that put their safety at risk.
Your safest option in the early stages of exploration is to play in a public setting with persons you can get community references for. Once you have a better understanding of your desires and safety protocols, then start to seek out a partner(s) for more private and intimate exploration.
And mostly, please always remeber that all the standard rules for relationships and communication apply. They don't go out the window simply because a fetish is involved.
Feel free to message me if you have any questions.
Thanks!
be careful tho i dont take that site seriously at all because it is just saturated with psychopaths
There are psychos on a fetish website? I guess I really mean, "there are psychos on a website?" Who knew?
youve obviously never been on fetlife before
its cool to be a psychopath there i mean that literally
literally killing things for pleasure
Is this the let's humble brag about our fetish experience portion of the program?
i dont typically get offended on this website
but you implying that i am one of those people is offensive as hell
Ah yes, the "let's twist words as far as possible to take false offense when I challenge someone and they call me on it" MFP game. Enjoy your umbrage. No fs given.
not sure how you were challenging me but ok bro0 -
salembambi wrote: »sunnybeaches105 wrote: »salembambi wrote: »sunnybeaches105 wrote: »salembambi wrote: »sunnybeaches105 wrote: »salembambi wrote: »
How can I find some one safe to train me?
@Angela937
Fetlife is a good resource for finding events near your location. Look for munches or other educational workshops. Meet people in the community. Finds someone you respect and ask if they will mentor you. No, not someone who makes your girly parts wet. Preferably someone of the same sex if you are hetero, opposite sex if you are queer. Basically someone you have no sexual interest in.
Do not buy into the idea of "trainers" or "mentors" who want to play with you. These are almost always people who want to prey on newbies.
Do not play online, do not go play with people you just met online. People, (especially women), new to this often get caught up in a frenzy and make decisions that put their safety at risk.
Your safest option in the early stages of exploration is to play in a public setting with persons you can get community references for. Once you have a better understanding of your desires and safety protocols, then start to seek out a partner(s) for more private and intimate exploration.
And mostly, please always remeber that all the standard rules for relationships and communication apply. They don't go out the window simply because a fetish is involved.
Feel free to message me if you have any questions.
Thanks!
be careful tho i dont take that site seriously at all because it is just saturated with psychopaths
There are psychos on a fetish website? I guess I really mean, "there are psychos on a website?" Who knew?
youve obviously never been on fetlife before
its cool to be a psychopath there i mean that literally
literally killing things for pleasure
Is this the let's humble brag about our fetish experience portion of the program?
i dont typically get offended on this website
but you implying that i am one of those people is offensive as hell
Ah yes, the "let's twist words as far as possible to take false offense when I challenge someone and they call me on it" MFP game. Enjoy your umbrage. No fs given.
not sure how you were challenging me but ok bro
So now it goes from offensive to not even a challenge? That's a heck of a mental ride there.0 -
IMO, a lot of the things that used to be taboo and thought of as alternative fetish lifestyles have become mainstream. Now, the difference between what someone might consider "vanilla" and a second person considers a "fetish" is a matter of perception and semantics. I mean, really, is tying up and spanking really still considered a fetish?
The world is a lot more open with its notions of human sexuality, and one person's website to discuss lifestyles is another person's middle-American marriage.4 -
AmandaHugginkiss wrote: »Is there a group for mostly vanillas? Maybe for vanillas with a cherry on top for when they're feeling 'venturous?
MFP?3 -
MonkeyMel21 wrote: »AmandaHugginkiss wrote: »Is there a group for mostly vanillas? Maybe for vanillas with a cherry on top for when they're feeling 'venturous?
MFP?
Touché1 -
Yeah, anybody can do whatever they want sexually with each other or socially (safe and consensual). It's not so shocking. Just depends on people's perceptions. Some people aren't into it, or to them it's a taboo, or unobtainable, or foreign... so they judge it. But, that's just silly or being close minded to learning about something new that might be fun. Some people just like to explore new sexual activities. Have always been that way and always will. And may like a combination of what people label as vanilla or kinky. Labels don't matter. People can just do what they like. That's what sex and life is all about. Having fun. Different people have fun in different ways. Just my opinion.0
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I think the most taboo for people in today's culture is anything illegal.
If its legal, everyone accepts it. (Almost everyone.)0 -
I think the most taboo for people in today's culture is anything illegal.
If its legal, everyone accepts it. (Almost everyone.)
I don't know about that. I've found that keeping women in cages is somewhat frowned upon in some circles even if it doesn't rise to the level of false imprisonment. That also raises the legal issues surrounding even mild forms of S&M. There are some things to which our legal system will simply not allow people to provide consent. Hence, why it's best not to play in certain ways with strangers, or film certain scenes in certain jurisdictions. It's all fun and games until someone suffocates upside down in a closet and his friend goes to prison or is found dead from suicide. If this is something you want then be damned certain your partner is experienced and knows what he's doing. And while the safety of subs is paramount, it's critical for prospective doms to understand that their futures and personal freedoms are also on the line.
http://www.nbcnews.com/id/21256674/ns/us_news-life/t/bondage-death-sparks-legal-debate/
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/09/15/shibari-bondage-sex-act-ends-in-death-italian-man-on-trial.html3 -
sunnybeaches105 wrote: »I think the most taboo for people in today's culture is anything illegal.
If its legal, everyone accepts it. (Almost everyone.)
I don't know about that. I've found that keeping women in cages is somewhat frowned upon in some circles even if it doesn't rise to the level of false imprisonment. That also raises the legal issues surrounding even mild forms of S&M. There are some things to which our legal system will simply not allow people to provide consent. Hence, why it's best not to play in certain ways with strangers, or film certain scenes in certain jurisdictions. It's all fun and games until someone suffocates upside down in a closet and his friend goes to prison or is found dead from suicide. If this is something you want then be damned certain your partner is experienced and knows what he's doing. And while the safety of subs is paramount, it's critical for prospective doms to understand that their futures and personal freedoms are also on the line.
http://www.nbcnews.com/id/21256674/ns/us_news-life/t/bondage-death-sparks-legal-debate/
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/09/15/shibari-bondage-sex-act-ends-in-death-italian-man-on-trial.html
Isn't it already illegal in Canada? An adult can't consent to what they define as abuse. They've made exceptions for sports, but not sex.0 -
Noelani1503 wrote: »sunnybeaches105 wrote: »I think the most taboo for people in today's culture is anything illegal.
If its legal, everyone accepts it. (Almost everyone.)
I don't know about that. I've found that keeping women in cages is somewhat frowned upon in some circles even if it doesn't rise to the level of false imprisonment. That also raises the legal issues surrounding even mild forms of S&M. There are some things to which our legal system will simply not allow people to provide consent. Hence, why it's best not to play in certain ways with strangers, or film certain scenes in certain jurisdictions. It's all fun and games until someone suffocates upside down in a closet and his friend goes to prison or is found dead from suicide. If this is something you want then be damned certain your partner is experienced and knows what he's doing. And while the safety of subs is paramount, it's critical for prospective doms to understand that their futures and personal freedoms are also on the line.
http://www.nbcnews.com/id/21256674/ns/us_news-life/t/bondage-death-sparks-legal-debate/
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/09/15/shibari-bondage-sex-act-ends-in-death-italian-man-on-trial.html
Isn't it already illegal in Canada? An adult can't consent to what they define as abuse. They've made exceptions for sports, but not sex.
I'm not familiar with Canadian law, but the first link discusses it a bit. The second gives a general overview on it in the U.S. where it's pretty much illegal.
"A key case on this is the 1995 Ontario Court of Appeal decision R. v. Welch. The court said that although the law must recognize individual freedom and autonomy, “when the activity in question involves pursuing sexual gratification by deliberately inflicting pain upon another that gives rise to bodily harm, then the personal interest of the individuals involved must yield to the more compelling societal interests which are challenged by such behaviour.”" http://news.nationalpost.com/news/canada/canadian-law-imposes-some-limits-on-freedom-to-consent-to-violent-sexual-activity
https://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/consent-counts/consent-counts/item/580-consent-and-bdsm-the-state-of-the-law.html
I'm quite pushy about doms pausing and seeking legal advice before they engage in this behaviour, and that they have someone serve as a mentor if they choose to engage in more challenging activities such as shibari/kinbaku. You'll note that the second news report I posted above was a situation where an experienced practitioner made the rookie mistake of not have safety sheers nearby and that caused the death of his girlfriend and injured her friend.1 -
sunnybeaches105 wrote: »Noelani1503 wrote: »sunnybeaches105 wrote: »I think the most taboo for people in today's culture is anything illegal.
If its legal, everyone accepts it. (Almost everyone.)
I don't know about that. I've found that keeping women in cages is somewhat frowned upon in some circles even if it doesn't rise to the level of false imprisonment. That also raises the legal issues surrounding even mild forms of S&M. There are some things to which our legal system will simply not allow people to provide consent. Hence, why it's best not to play in certain ways with strangers, or film certain scenes in certain jurisdictions. It's all fun and games until someone suffocates upside down in a closet and his friend goes to prison or is found dead from suicide. If this is something you want then be damned certain your partner is experienced and knows what he's doing. And while the safety of subs is paramount, it's critical for prospective doms to understand that their futures and personal freedoms are also on the line.
http://www.nbcnews.com/id/21256674/ns/us_news-life/t/bondage-death-sparks-legal-debate/
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/09/15/shibari-bondage-sex-act-ends-in-death-italian-man-on-trial.html
Isn't it already illegal in Canada? An adult can't consent to what they define as abuse. They've made exceptions for sports, but not sex.
I'm not familiar with Canadian law, but the first link discusses it a bit. The second gives a general overview on it in the U.S. where it's pretty much illegal.
"A key case on this is the 1995 Ontario Court of Appeal decision R. v. Welch. The court said that although the law must recognize individual freedom and autonomy, “when the activity in question involves pursuing sexual gratification by deliberately inflicting pain upon another that gives rise to bodily harm, then the personal interest of the individuals involved must yield to the more compelling societal interests which are challenged by such behaviour.”" http://news.nationalpost.com/news/canada/canadian-law-imposes-some-limits-on-freedom-to-consent-to-violent-sexual-activity
https://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/consent-counts/consent-counts/item/580-consent-and-bdsm-the-state-of-the-law.html
I'm quite pushy about doms pausing and seeking legal advice before they engage in this behaviour, and that they have someone serve as a mentor if they choose to engage in more challenging activities such as shibari/kinbaku. You'll note that the second news report I posted above was a situation where an experienced practitioner made the rookie mistake of not have safety sheers nearby and that caused the death of his girlfriend and injured her friend.
Man. Lawyers suck the fun out of everything.2 -
The events I go to (Canada) have a long time professional doing the rigging for shibari. To me it's a very beautiful art form like dance and contortionism. I'm not personally interested in certain things that can cause injury (and I am more sensitive to this than some other people because I have nerve injuries and stuff combined with a high pain tolerance), or death. And people can learn about shibari and there are classes or mentors. Sometimes people even teach it at regular (not kinky and not sexual) dance festivals in my community. I like the events because they are very artistic with music, dancing, performance, latex fashion shows, the outfits, shibari, contortionism, etc. Plus the sexual component, and I like sexuality. It combines everything I like. And very eclectic. All different styles and interests. Because I am a dancer, it's not out of the ordinary for me. I have other dancer friends that are a part of it. I have been trying not to talk about my interests and recreation on mfp because people don't like it. But, it does relate to this thread specifically. And if people don't want to read about it then they shouldn't be in a thread like this.0
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AmandaHugginkiss wrote: »sunnybeaches105 wrote: »Noelani1503 wrote: »sunnybeaches105 wrote: »I think the most taboo for people in today's culture is anything illegal.
If its legal, everyone accepts it. (Almost everyone.)
I don't know about that. I've found that keeping women in cages is somewhat frowned upon in some circles even if it doesn't rise to the level of false imprisonment. That also raises the legal issues surrounding even mild forms of S&M. There are some things to which our legal system will simply not allow people to provide consent. Hence, why it's best not to play in certain ways with strangers, or film certain scenes in certain jurisdictions. It's all fun and games until someone suffocates upside down in a closet and his friend goes to prison or is found dead from suicide. If this is something you want then be damned certain your partner is experienced and knows what he's doing. And while the safety of subs is paramount, it's critical for prospective doms to understand that their futures and personal freedoms are also on the line.
http://www.nbcnews.com/id/21256674/ns/us_news-life/t/bondage-death-sparks-legal-debate/
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/09/15/shibari-bondage-sex-act-ends-in-death-italian-man-on-trial.html
Isn't it already illegal in Canada? An adult can't consent to what they define as abuse. They've made exceptions for sports, but not sex.
I'm not familiar with Canadian law, but the first link discusses it a bit. The second gives a general overview on it in the U.S. where it's pretty much illegal.
"A key case on this is the 1995 Ontario Court of Appeal decision R. v. Welch. The court said that although the law must recognize individual freedom and autonomy, “when the activity in question involves pursuing sexual gratification by deliberately inflicting pain upon another that gives rise to bodily harm, then the personal interest of the individuals involved must yield to the more compelling societal interests which are challenged by such behaviour.”" http://news.nationalpost.com/news/canada/canadian-law-imposes-some-limits-on-freedom-to-consent-to-violent-sexual-activity
https://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/consent-counts/consent-counts/item/580-consent-and-bdsm-the-state-of-the-law.html
I'm quite pushy about doms pausing and seeking legal advice before they engage in this behaviour, and that they have someone serve as a mentor if they choose to engage in more challenging activities such as shibari/kinbaku. You'll note that the second news report I posted above was a situation where an experienced practitioner made the rookie mistake of not have safety sheers nearby and that caused the death of his girlfriend and injured her friend.
Man. Lawyers suck the fun out of everything.
spanking is more fun in a custom suit0 -
sunnybeaches105 wrote: »I think the most taboo for people in today's culture is anything illegal.
If its legal, everyone accepts it. (Almost everyone.)
I don't know about that. I've found that keeping women in cages is somewhat frowned upon in some circles even if it doesn't rise to the level of false imprisonment. That also raises the legal issues surrounding even mild forms of S&M. There are some things to which our legal system will simply not allow people to provide consent. Hence, why it's best not to play in certain ways with strangers, or film certain scenes in certain jurisdictions. It's all fun and games until someone suffocates upside down in a closet and his friend goes to prison or is found dead from suicide. If this is something you want then be damned certain your partner is experienced and knows what he's doing. And while the safety of subs is paramount, it's critical for prospective doms to understand that their futures and personal freedoms are also on the line.
http://www.nbcnews.com/id/21256674/ns/us_news-life/t/bondage-death-sparks-legal-debate/
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/09/15/shibari-bondage-sex-act-ends-in-death-italian-man-on-trial.html
Uh, I think it might be best to stick with a simple game of Twister.
Man, people can get hurt in that crazy game1
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