Getting fed up with the "You've lost to much weight comments"
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Ha ha, my problem also.I lost weight from my chubby face, but not from my chubby gut, so I "look" thinner than I am. When people tell me I have lost too much weight, I simply point to that overhanging gut and suggest that when they see me in a Speedo, they will think I have not lost enough!
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I get this every time I go visit my grandparents, which is about once a week, lol. Plus, I'm now getting it from my dad too. I just smile and say "ok." It just makes things easier. Since it's close family, I know it's from a place of love and caring. I know they just want me to be happy and healthy.0
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Yes used to get it a lot. Was and am still in overweight range.
What really made me cross was when I put on 3 pounds at tom and got called fat.( by one of the worst offenders moaning I was too skinny,)
Think it takes more than three pounds to jump from underweight to overweight in three or four days.
Never seem to get it from those who are a healthy weight themselves though.0 -
I come from a family of big women (and the men who love them) and those are the ones I catch the comments from. I've recently been called "scrawny" but at 5'7" and 191, I am FAR from scrawny.1
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Up to my 40's i was always 45kg. Im 5'6. I ate whatever i wanted. People would say god your skinny and i didnt even know them. One day in a bad mood someone said it and i replied god your fat. Was a horrible thing to say. Now in my 50's ive stacked on the weight and have been working out like a crazy person with a pt since january. Its a slow process. But wish someone would notice my awesome girlie guns. Lol. Love them.1
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I can never understand the compulsion to comment on someone's appearance. Do people presume it's their place to pass judgement on another's body?
Certainly criticism is just plain rude, even coming from your own family. But do people really think compliments are universally welcomed, or even appropriate?
Personally, I'm sensitive about my appearance and painfully self conscious. I'm working on it, but the last thing I want is for someone to call attention to it, good or bad.3 -
My ex boss told me she could count my teeth through my cheeks. She also grabbed at the loose skin around my arm saying things like "look at you!". I've had friends tell me to stop losing, seriously, as well too. But I was 128 lbs at 5'4"...completely healthy weight. I didn't like those comments for sure...they made me feel ugly.1
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dave_in_ni wrote: »dave_in_ni wrote: »Does anyone else get this? Its all getting a bit sickening now. The problem is the folks saying it don't realise they are overweight.
Dave what are your stats? How quickly have you been losing, and how much have you lost?
I personally have never seen what you look like, so I don't know whether you look too skinny or not. I also don't know whether these other people commenting are really overweight or if it's your perception. How can someone not realize they are overweight?
If you are losing weight too quickly, people in your life might say you're losing too much weight out of concern. This can be especially true if you have a skinny-fat look (which, I don't know whether you do or not, I am just speculating at this point).
I've had people say I was getting too thin, and yet others who said I needed to lose more. I figure they have a rights to their opinions, just as I have the right to reject what they say.dave_in_ni wrote: »Does anyone else get this? Its all getting a bit sickening now. The problem is the folks saying it don't realise they are overweight.
Dave what are your stats? How quickly have you been losing, and how much have you lost?
I personally have never seen what you look like, so I don't know whether you look too skinny or not. I also don't know whether these other people commenting are really overweight or if it's your perception. How can someone not realize they are overweight?
If you are losing weight too quickly, people in your life might say you're losing too much weight out of concern. This can be especially true if you have a skinny-fat look (which, I don't know whether you do or not, I am just speculating at this point).
I've had people say I was getting too thin, and yet others who said I needed to lose more. I figure they have a rights to their opinions, just as I have the right to reject what they say.
Oh yes lost it to quick, 60 lbs in 6 months, I am skinny fat.
I did the same to win a weight loss competition. Lost 75 lbs in less than 6 months. The next year I maintained by weight lifting and diet. While the scale hasn't moved my biceps have gained 2 inches, lost another pant size and other things the scale won't tell you. I still have a long way to go, but maintaining that loss for a year is a good start.3 -
dave_in_ni wrote: »VintageFeline wrote: »I've had the opposite. I've been asked how I've lost so much weight and don't look sickly and gaunt like other people they know who have lost a lot of weight. In fact, one person said my skin looks amazing (and I had not a stitch of make-up on that particular day). Difference is I've lost relatively slowly and have strength trained throughout. I look fit and healthy because I am fit and healthy.
You cut with a huge deficit so I wouldn't be surprised if you look a bit drawn in the face which can lead to people extrapolating it to being too skinny as they perceive your weight to be lower than it is. Perils of losing too fast.
I had this yesterday. In the U.K. We work with stone rather than lbs. An older guy says " Dave don't loss any more weight please, how much do U weigh now" i told him 12 stone, No way are you 12 stone, more like 11 which is around 150lbs, He is 13 he told me and to me looks thinner than me.
Height being the important missing variable here.2 -
Yes, Yes, YES!
Not so much now (In fact, not at all now) as I've gained around 12lbs since the comments occurred but I did get a lot of "You are looking GAUNT, don't lose anymore" from colleagues. I also got "You don't want to look like a boy, stop losing weight" from colleagues too (Said colleagues were women - hence the cattyness). At the time of the comments, I was around the medium 'healthy' mark on the BMI scale. I could have got away with losing more weight and still remained 'healthy' yet the comments persisted. Quite insulting really.
The important thing is - do what makes you happy. If you are content with your weight, don't let anyone's opinion change your ways. People think they can make a judgement when it comes to weight when really it is something that is totally private and personal and shouldn't be commented on.1 -
It's a few things -
For one, those people tend to be a little (or more) overweight and have a skewed concept of "healthy".
Secondly, they are used to thinking of you as "Dave the fat guy" and now you are changing how they have to think about you. People don't like when you change their perspective on things.
Third, you are possibly making them feel uncomfortable because you are showing them that being fat isn't fate, it is a choice. You are taking away their excuses, so now they either have to accept their choice, or make a change which takes effort. People don't like effort.
A lot of people used to tell me that constantly when I dropped from 305 to 180, which took me about 2.5 years. It started at about 260 lbs. People were very supportive as long as I was bigger than them, but once I started getting smaller then they were, it was "too far"! I got to the point that people would say something and I would just ask if they wanted to see me naked, because I could show them where I still had weight to lose!
Eventually, people's concept of you changes and they will quit all the nonsense. Just go after your goals and don't let anyone stop you.
BTW, I'm pretty surprised of the negativity in this thread... although, not sure why. This is MFP, after all!4
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