Stranger's remarks
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Omg. People are SO rude. I don't think it is ever appropriate to make a negative comment on someone's body. Just think, "I can lose the weight but you'll still be an ugly jerk with a black soul."
I guess I would just say something sarcastic like a big smile and in an enthusiastic voice say, "Why thank you so much! That's so nice of you to say. I hope you have a great day too!"
Or else there is always the ask them to repeat it, so they can hear what a jerk they sound like. "I'm sorry I didn't catch that. What did you just say??"
I'm so sorry people said those things. Yes, you can have thick skin but that's just blatantly rude and mean. I guess regardless of response, know in your heart the first thought I had - my weight can fluctuate, but they will still be a horrible person. You almost have to feel sorry for them. Happy, well adjusted people don't go around knocking other people.3 -
No matter what you weigh, look like, or are eating/drinking, these comments are creepy and intrusive. I would tell these people they need to mind their own business.
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"Thanks for the weight loss pointers! I really appreciate it. You know, plastic surgery has become very safe and much more mainstream, so you could have that" (gesture towards face or random body part) "taken care of. It would be great for your self esteem I'm sure!"10
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They're all arseholes.
Your only reply should be " did you mean to be so rude?"2 -
mrflipmode wrote: »Are you in the U.S. ?
On BBC UK this morning it reported on a girl walking down the high street in the U.S.
She got hassled18 times within a 5 minute walk from guys making comments about her.
Both negative, and some, which in their eyes may seem positive ( which they weren't )
In all honesty I don't see that as much in the UK.
I can only assume the 3 people who commented on you aren't worth knowing.
The comments sound very shallow and uncalled for.
I'm sorry you had to experience these fools , just remember there's 1000's of us on here
who are on your side
White van man is an unrepentant dickhead, but, fortunately, a little scared of his mum strong women, so keeps his trap shup.-1 -
mrflipmode wrote: »Are you in the U.S. ?
On BBC UK this morning it reported on a girl walking down the high street in the U.S.
She got hassled18 times within a 5 minute walk from guys making comments about her.
Both negative, and some, which in their eyes may seem positive ( which they weren't )
In all honesty I don't see that as much in the UK.
I can only assume the 3 people who commented on you aren't worth knowing.
The comments sound very shallow and uncalled for.
I'm sorry you had to experience these fools , just remember there's 1000's of us on here
who are on your side
I'm in Australia. It doesn't happen too often here usually but I just moved cities.0 -
dizzieblondeuk wrote: »
I was going to ask what country the OP lived in, as it's almost unheard of in the UK. I mean, we don't even make eye contact on public transport, so the idea of someone striking up an uninvited conversation and the resulting conversation being an insulting, personal comment, is a very strange concept in the UK. The most I ever get (and it's such a national stereotype) is people commenting about the weather!mrflipmode wrote: »Are you in the U.S. ?
On BBC UK this morning it reported on a girl walking down the high street in the U.S.
She got hassled18 times within a 5 minute walk from guys making comments about her.
Both negative, and some, which in their eyes may seem positive ( which they weren't )
In all honesty I don't see that as much in the UK.
I can only assume the 3 people who commented on you aren't worth knowing.
The comments sound very shallow and uncalled for.
I'm sorry you had to experience these fools , just remember there's 1000's of us on here
who are on your side
In the US, I've discovered there is very little in terms of a concept about personal space, and hence any level of 'privacy' in a public place. Americans visiting the UK do tend towards more quieter politeness, in my experience, but I have found that disappears when in their own country. Everyone I've come across in US cities is usually pleasant, but making conversation with strangers seems to be an American habit! I guess the risk associated with this friendliness is that some of those comments are going to be very unwanted, and sometimes outright insulting, when the commentator may not even realise just how insulting they are being. Doesn't excuse it and, if they are strangers, you are perfectly allowed to completely blank them and just refuse to engage in any conversation with them. Ignoring them is probably the best bet, rather than getting cross and retorting anything. Some people are idiots!
I'm from Australia. Usually people here are fantastic but we do have our bigots and public warriors.0 -
fposte2016 wrote: »It's terrible to say, but I'm glad I'm not the only one this has happened to! It seems like every time I mention an interaction like this to someone 'normal' they look at me like I'm crazy. I might do what you do, and give a blunt, polite reply instead of pretending I didn't hear.
I can't believe what some people say! An overweight celebrity? What on earth!
I know, right? I had assumed something about my face said "please tell me every idle thought you have about my appearance," so it's both reassuring and enervating to hear other people deal with this too. I do live in the us, in the New York area (no bless her heart American southern politeness or uk blustering tact here), so it is a bit of a free for all, though I've had fun interactions with strangers too and seen people not blink an eye at truly spectacle worthy sights. The naked cowboy is just a guy at the office, but my extra 40 lbs (now 30) of chub are gawk-worthy, I guess.
A naked cowboy? Much more worthy of discussion!1 -
Chef_Barbell wrote: »I get this now when I am pregnant.
I never really received comments when I was in fit mode, however, I receive more comments now that I am pregnant than ever. Somehow it has become ok as a society to comment on a pregnant woman's body like it's open season. Complete strangers feel the need to tell you that you look like you're carrying two. (No. I am not.) Or that no way you are going to last another X amount of months. (Gee, thanks for wishing a premature birth on me.). Or my personal favorite, "You're BIG for X amount of months." (YAY, just what every pregnant woman wants to hear... how BIG they have gotten when they are most likely feeling fairly self-conscience about their size.)
Then there are stares like no one has ever seen a pregnant woman before in their lives. Sigh...
That's terrible. I hope you haven't had random strangers try to rub your stomach. I went out with my pregnant friend and rhe amount of people who thought they could just touch it was boggling.1 -
Omg wow! I cannot believe someone, 3 someones would say this!!!
" imagine if you had tact"
" think about how great you would look if you were kind"
" please live one day of my life before you share options about my weight"
It is appalling to think you have to be prepared with a comeback for thoughtless people.2 -
julierockhead wrote: »"Thanks for the weight loss pointers! I really appreciate it. You know, plastic surgery has become very safe and much more mainstream, so you could have that" (gesture towards face or random body part) "taken care of. It would be great for your self esteem I'm sure!"
I love it!2 -
After losing 34 pounds, I got more negative comments about my weight as opposed to when I was 34 pounds heavier.
From a clerk in a store. When trying on a dress and debating between 2 sizes, she told me loudly ( it felt like she announced it to the store) that I should get the bigger size because the underlay of the smaller one showed all my " nooks and crannies" and the back lower zipper made me " look like I had a tail".
When checking out with the bigger size dress, she told me I needed to
" get the girls up" . Finally, disgusted I told her that the " girls" haven't been up for 35 years and I didnt have 15 K to get them up....her response..get a different bra.
Gotta love it0 -
oh yeah the idiot who asked me if I was pregnant and I wasn't actually even overweight at the time. I was wearing a loose dress because it was like 95 degrees out. "When are you due?" EXCUSE ME WHAT DID U SAY? "uh... aren't you pregnant?" NO. I'M FAT! FAT! FAT! I scream at him. He runs away. I come off like I'm totally unhinged to scare these idiots of trying that again with another person.4
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Ignore the comments. Once you allow comments like that to bother you, you have given those comments power over you.
Why allow people who don't even know the person that you are, to bring a rainstorm in your life?
Being overweight is not who you are as a person, unless you allow others to define you in such narrow terms.0 -
Strangely enough, I didn't get comments like that when I was heavy. Now, however, I get comments like "you look like you're 12 years old" because I'm so small... The hurt goes both ways, unfortunately.2
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My retort would be..."Have you looked in the mirror lately? Must of cracked it this morning?"
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I hate when people do stuff like that. Last summer I was visiting my mom and she needed me to go to the store for her. There were some guys there gawking at women asking the would you do her question. I seen the guy point to me and the other one looked and said it would take a whole lot of dope, then he shuddered like I was so disgusting. These guys where nasty looking any way. Duck dynasty looking guys that hadn't bathed in a while. Unkept hair and beards.
Besides me being morbidly obese at the time, my face has dark spots from my last pregnancy. It really bothers me still thinking about it. But the sad thing is I would never give them the time of day other wise.0 -
I just say "Its true, I am overweight, but I am also very polite"1
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louann_jude wrote: »I hate when people do stuff like that. Last summer I was visiting my mom and she needed me to go to the store for her. There were some guys there gawking at women asking the would you do her question. I seen the guy point to me and the other one looked and said it would take a whole lot of dope, then he shuddered like I was so disgusting. These guys where nasty looking any way. Duck dynasty looking guys that hadn't bathed in a while. Unkept hair and beards.
Besides me being morbidly obese at the time, my face has dark spots from my last pregnancy. It really bothers me still thinking about it. But the sad thing is I would never give them the time of day other wise.
Nope. Can't handle the casual awfulness of those dudes. Have they ever created, sheltered and produced a human being and had things happen to their bodies totally outside their control? Do they really think your value as a person is reducible to an up down vote while running an errand for your mom, like you're a summer blockbuster and they're siskel and ebert? How rich their lives must be to rate the hotness of women outside the grocery. Not that it matters but your profile pic is really pretty and I hate that you had that happen to you. You are more than neckbeard b0ner bait. Sorry for the rant, but that kind of everyday objectification really gets to me.4
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