Not Sure What's Going On

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mickeygirliegirl
mickeygirliegirl Posts: 302 Member
in Motivation and Support
Let me begin by saying since May 5th I have lost exactly 25 lbs. I have done this strictly through counting calories. I'm fitting into clothes I haven't worn in YEARS and I'm enjoying shopping again because things I want to wear actually look good. I have an amazing boyfriend that I have been with for just over two years and I love him dearly. We've never fought. I know people reading this probably think I'm lying when I say this, but it's true. Yesterday was the "closest" because he's been OBSESSING over his car lately and he made a remark about needing it fixed soon so he can stop thinking about it and I said "YES IT DOES!" which lead into him going off about not wanting to be in an unsafe car and I just sat there and let him rant instead of goading him further and that was the end of it. Two seconds later we were laughing and having a good time. Anyway. He's been completely supportive of me losing weight, and even does things like asking before making meals where my count is for the day so he can make sure to have something that I can eat. Like I said, he's amazing (well, at least to me). I have a job that last month caused me more stress in two weeks than I've ever endured in 16 years working in the job field that I do, but other than that, I enjoy going to work. I enjoy the work that I do. Sure, there's tedious parts to the job, but overall, I am happy with my job.

So why do I find myself unhappy? It's beginning to freak me out in that I cannot pinpoint why I'm on the verge of tears at least once a day. Not only that, but each day I find myself losing more and more of my motivation. I just want to chuck everything I've accomplished with losing weight in the trash and say screw it and eat what I want and gain all of my weight back and not care.

Has anyone gone through this? Any advice, ideas, suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Replies

  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
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    Awesome weight loss so far! Congrats! Have you thought of taking a break from dieting, just a couple of weeks at eating at your maintenance level? It may do wonders for you.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 33,971 Member
    edited September 2016
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    yeah, I agree with taking a break.

    Also, what are your goals and how much weight do you have left to lose? You may have your calories set too low and that will affect you.

    But, stress in general can lead to a hunger response, so that is normal too. Increased cortisol production is to blame in that response.

    This is just the first article I grabbed. It isn't a scientific NIH study. It is for dieticians. So shoot me, MFP scientific police. It still applies.

    http://www.todaysdietitian.com/newarchives/111609p38.shtml
  • nowine4me
    nowine4me Posts: 3,985 Member
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    Are you getting enough sleep? That's always the starting point for me when I'm feeling anxious about things.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
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    What types of things are happening right before you feel close to tears? In other words, what is triggering that feeling? I think if you can pinpoint that trigger it might help you to figure out the underlying issue.

    As far as motivation, it's not something you can really rely on when it comes to losing weight. No one is motivated 24/7 over a long period of time to do anything, let alone something difficult and drawn out like losing weight. Motivation waxes and wanes, sometimes month to month, week to week or even day to day. Rather than attempting to rely on motivation work on creating good habits and become committed to your good health. I've found that those two things carry me through the times where my motivation is really low. The mornings where I'd rather sleep in than get up before work to run and the evenings where I have already eaten my calories for the day but really, really want the 300 calorie ice cream bar that's sitting in the freezer.

    All of that said, sometimes we just need a break especially if we've been eating at a deficit for a long time. You might consider upping your calories to maintenance or to maintenance minus 250 calories or even to maintenance for your goal weight.
  • mickeygirliegirl
    mickeygirliegirl Posts: 302 Member
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    Thank you everyone for your responses so far.

    To answer some questions:

    I want to lose another 17 lbs (I know that's specific, but that's the number to hit my goal weight). I don't believe I'm starving myself (I eat a minimum of 1200 calories/day). If there's a day where we want to go out, while I don't go crazy, I also let myself have a good time - I have those couple of drinks or I have some fries or something like that.

    As far as sleep, I guess I never considered it. That may be the key, or at least one of them. While I don't feel tired during the day, as soon as I'm relaxing on the couch, I am fighting to stay awake. I think I get around 6 hours a night or so.

  • mickeygirliegirl
    mickeygirliegirl Posts: 302 Member
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    SueInAz wrote: »
    What types of things are happening right before you feel close to tears? In other words, what is triggering that feeling? I think if you can pinpoint that trigger it might help you to figure out the underlying issue.

    As far as motivation, it's not something you can really rely on when it comes to losing weight. No one is motivated 24/7 over a long period of time to do anything, let alone something difficult and drawn out like losing weight. Motivation waxes and wanes, sometimes month to month, week to week or even day to day. Rather than attempting to rely on motivation work on creating good habits and become committed to your good health. I've found that those two things carry me through the times where my motivation is really low. The mornings where I'd rather sleep in than get up before work to run and the evenings where I have already eaten my calories for the day but really, really want the 300 calorie ice cream bar that's sitting in the freezer.

    All of that said, sometimes we just need a break especially if we've been eating at a deficit for a long time. You might consider upping your calories to maintenance or to maintenance minus 250 calories or even to maintenance for your goal weight.

    I was typing a response to the others before I got a chance to read yours :)

    The times that I have felt close to tears have all been while sitting at my desk at work. To be honest, I can't think of any specific trigger. It feels like it's out of the blue. And it's ALWAYS when I'm by myself - I have an employee who works for me in my department and when she is here, I don't feel like this. When I'm out of work and at home and spending time with my boyfriend and his kids, I haven't had any of those feelings.

    Maybe I do need to up my calories for a bit for a few weeks (to maintenance that is). While I'm not restricting myself to enjoying "unhealthy" foods (if I want ice cream for instance, I make sure to fit it into my calories by portion control on the other meals during the day), I'm still at a deficit overall and maybe my body is just telling me that it needs a break.
  • KiyaK
    KiyaK Posts: 519 Member
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    Sounds like stress to me. It's easy to stuff it down while busy or with others. When things quiet down & the mind has the chance to relax, those stressed out/sad/upset feelings come back up. Getting more sleep will probably help. 6 hrs is kind of on the cusp of not enough sleep. Especially if you find yourself fighting sleep if you just sit down to relax on the couch.

    The bigger issue is finding a healthy way to manage your stress. This is different for everyone. You will probably need to do some deep thinking about your life etc. to see if you can pinpoint the issue. Also, exercise, meditation, yoga & breathing exercises are a few tried & true ways people manage stress.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
    edited September 2016
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    KiyaK wrote: »
    Sounds like stress to me. It's easy to stuff it down while busy or with others. When things quiet down & the mind has the chance to relax, those stressed out/sad/upset feelings come back up. Getting more sleep will probably help. 6 hrs is kind of on the cusp of not enough sleep. Especially if you find yourself fighting sleep if you just sit down to relax on the couch.

    The bigger issue is finding a healthy way to manage your stress. This is different for everyone. You will probably need to do some deep thinking about your life etc. to see if you can pinpoint the issue. Also, exercise, meditation, yoga & breathing exercises are a few tried & true ways people manage stress.

    I was thinking this, too. I had a really stressful period in my life that had me feeling like this. As soon as I sat down I was ready for sleep, no matter what time of day it was or where I was. I ended up on medication for it for awhile and then ended up quitting the job (and the manager) that was causing the stress. Best decision I ever made.

    I'd definitely suggest getting more sleep. Try for at least 7 hours for a few weeks and see if that doesn't help. I'd also examine the things going on in your life. It's really easy to fool ourselves into thinking we aren't under stress when we really are. It's worse when there are multiple sources of it, too, because there's no way to get away from it. Sometimes things really are as bad as they seem.
  • heatherlmosher
    heatherlmosher Posts: 25 Member
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    Maybe you are depressed? You don't necessarily need a reason to be depressed, sometimes it's just a chemical imbalance. It might be worth a trip to the doctor.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,890 Member
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    mickeygirliegirl wrote: »
    So why do I find myself unhappy? It's beginning to freak me out in that I cannot pinpoint why I'm on the verge of tears at least once a day. Not only that, but each day I find myself losing more and more of my motivation. I just want to chuck everything I've accomplished with losing weight in the trash and say screw it and eat what I want and gain all of my weight back and not care.

    Has anyone gone through this? Any advice, ideas, suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

    How old are you?

    Any chance you're in perimenopause?

  • mickeygirliegirl
    mickeygirliegirl Posts: 302 Member
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    Machka9 wrote: »
    mickeygirliegirl wrote: »
    So why do I find myself unhappy? It's beginning to freak me out in that I cannot pinpoint why I'm on the verge of tears at least once a day. Not only that, but each day I find myself losing more and more of my motivation. I just want to chuck everything I've accomplished with losing weight in the trash and say screw it and eat what I want and gain all of my weight back and not care.

    Has anyone gone through this? Any advice, ideas, suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

    How old are you?

    Any chance you're in perimenopause?

    I am 41. So I guess that could be it? I haven't had any irregularities with my cycle. My cycle is very regular - like set a clock to it regular. Ha.
  • mickeygirliegirl
    mickeygirliegirl Posts: 302 Member
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    SueInAz wrote: »
    KiyaK wrote: »
    Sounds like stress to me. It's easy to stuff it down while busy or with others. When things quiet down & the mind has the chance to relax, those stressed out/sad/upset feelings come back up. Getting more sleep will probably help. 6 hrs is kind of on the cusp of not enough sleep. Especially if you find yourself fighting sleep if you just sit down to relax on the couch.

    The bigger issue is finding a healthy way to manage your stress. This is different for everyone. You will probably need to do some deep thinking about your life etc. to see if you can pinpoint the issue. Also, exercise, meditation, yoga & breathing exercises are a few tried & true ways people manage stress.

    I was thinking this, too. I had a really stressful period in my life that had me feeling like this. As soon as I sat down I was ready for sleep, no matter what time of day it was or where I was. I ended up on medication for it for awhile and then ended up quitting the job (and the manager) that was causing the stress. Best decision I ever made.

    I'd definitely suggest getting more sleep. Try for at least 7 hours for a few weeks and see if that doesn't help. I'd also examine the things going on in your life. It's really easy to fool ourselves into thinking we aren't under stress when we really are. It's worse when there are multiple sources of it, too, because there's no way to get away from it. Sometimes things really are as bad as they seem.

    I've been thinking about this a lot. That maybe there is some sort of stress in my life that I'm just not thinking about or realizing that it is affecting me and the strange thing is, all of the stressors I can think of have been resolved.

    I am thinking more and more that it very well could be exhaustion from not getting enough sleep. I know I said I wasn't tired during the day but I also have espresso in the morning so that could be what is fooling me into thinking I'm not tired. I need to do some adjustments to my schedule and work in extra sleep at night.

  • mickeygirliegirl
    mickeygirliegirl Posts: 302 Member
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    KiyaK wrote: »
    Sounds like stress to me. It's easy to stuff it down while busy or with others. When things quiet down & the mind has the chance to relax, those stressed out/sad/upset feelings come back up. Getting more sleep will probably help. 6 hrs is kind of on the cusp of not enough sleep. Especially if you find yourself fighting sleep if you just sit down to relax on the couch.

    The bigger issue is finding a healthy way to manage your stress. This is different for everyone. You will probably need to do some deep thinking about your life etc. to see if you can pinpoint the issue. Also, exercise, meditation, yoga & breathing exercises are a few tried & true ways people manage stress.

    I think I am going to 1) adjust my schedule so that I can get more sleep a night and 2) work in exercise into that schedule

    I've come up with a zillion excuses to myself about why I don't exercise but really, they are kind of lame. I think I will just start by taking a walk after work for an hour or so in the neighborhood. I know I have that time available as I'm usually playing on my phone or sitting around while my boyfriend takes a nap.



  • mickeygirliegirl
    mickeygirliegirl Posts: 302 Member
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    Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to respond. I love the support that mfp provides with things like this and to know I'm not alone in what I have been going through.

    Thank you again.

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