To live with (and accept) Depression.

peaceout_aly wrote: »

Take a moment at the beginning and end of each day to count your blessings and feel thankful [...] but if you can take a few minutes to do this simple task, then it makes it a little more bearable.

That's a really good advice, at one point everything that kept me together was my newborn nephew.

ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »

I never quite know how to talk about it or who I can even really talk to.

I can relate to this on so many levels! I had to walk into the wall and get specialised help to understand that I suffered from it. But all those things I kept in my mind was nothing I openly shared, especially not before.

And when I finally became open about it, my friends felt disturbed by my frustrations and concerns, they simply couldn't understand how I saw things differently or negatively. So ever since I stopped bothering them.



Whenever I write about my situation. I discover a piece of myself; that's what I wish to try understand.

I have more stories to share, so if you would like to follow this thread, feel free to star it.

The kid next door #2

Let me tell you a story about this kid who I envied when growing up...

On the outside he wasn't really anything in particular, but he was genuinely friendly and really smart for his age! This was easy to tell, because his grades reflected the same.

He had the ability to see a solution to every problem. To be fair, I doubt he never consider any problems as problems; but rather challenges to be tackled.

When we finished school in our small town we all went separate ways, that boy has a bright future. He was one of the top students of the year.

---

There was a teenager in the class of 2011 that really was something special. He cared about his classmates and signed up early for the student council, which he soon was elected as president.

Though his grades was nothing to brag about, he surely had a great heart. As his teacher and councillor I made sure to push on him; his confident was showing cracks and I felt it was my duty to cheer him up.

Time passed and exams was on their way, this teenager wanted nothing but to avoid them. For too long he walked with a heavy burden which no one knew since there was none that he dared to tell.

---

In May 2014, I literally walked into the wall and was put in quarantine at a mental health care facility for my own safety. I was suicidal.

Yet, I knew that a 19 y/o shouldn't feel that way and have ever since taken baby steps to deal with my depression, I do everything in my power to avoid pills.

I never became free of depression; I am learning to live life to the fullest with it.

Moral of the story: don't judge a book by its cover.

The must hurtful thing I've been through is how the surroundings exemplified me as an extraordinary example. This eventually turned into how I had to meet up their expectations. Which was a false belief I developed and have for years struggled to break down.

lilstry wrote: »

. [...] At the end of the day, when we close our bedroom doors and tune out all the drama of our everyday lives, it's just us... and that's when those "private thoughts and secrets worries" can creep in...

This has been my greatest struggle for years. I am amazed how you were able to take the words out of my mouth.

I realised I didn't have this problem when sleeping next to someone, although I figured that it is hard to love someone else when you don't love yourself.

Nowadays I have a different approach that works when sleeping alone. I practice 15min of yoga stretch before going to bed; it realises tension and feels good in general. Then I have a "guided relaxation talk down", guess it's like mindfulness, I found it on YouTube.

This audio recording actually allows to block out my worst thoughts, 8/10 times. I do my best to stay concentrated to the instructions and somewhere find inner peace to fall asleep.