Anyone else not talking IRL about weight loss? Looking for friends/support in secret!

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mcw1313
mcw1313 Posts: 9 Member
in Motivation and Support
Long story short: Moved across the country 5 years ago and put on a TON of weight feeling lonely in my new home. I'm happy here now and started my weight loss journey July 5th. I'm down 33lbs so far. I am not telling people "back home" about my weight loss, so only the people here that see me regularly know that I'm dieting. I really don't like to talk about it much IRL. Frankly, most people around me would try to sell me on their method or their gym or their supplement, etc. I don't really want to debate it, so I'm being private about it. That's left a support hole in my life, though, and I'm wondering if there's anyone else out there who is in a similar boat? My DH is great, but he's nearing the end of his weight loss (he's down 40lbs and had much less to lose than i did.) So, we're in different phases.

Anybody? Bueller?
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Replies

  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
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    Yes building a community is a great thing and has been one of the most important in my weight loss journey. I don't fill a need to keep it secret, but then again, no one ever asks me about it. I'm down 40 lbs since May.
  • OLLITAMALE98
    OLLITAMALE98 Posts: 2 Member
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    I need help staying committed to lose weight.
  • campfirequeen1
    campfirequeen1 Posts: 317 Member
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    No I'm out all over the place but there was a time in my life when I wouldn't have been so, I get that totally! I would be happy to be one of your secret cheerleaders! Just friend me and let me know what works best for you! I have a ton of weight to lose too, ok not a ton but at least 100 more pounds, so I'm going to be here for a pretty good while! Holly
  • tmarple93
    tmarple93 Posts: 75 Member
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    The only person in my life who knows I'm trying to lose weight and I openly talk about it to is my fiance. I rely on this community for support and motivation when I need it. Whenever I even mention losing weight to friends or family there super judgemental and unsupportive. This place is a great place for positive and uplifting support from people who understand what your going through, through all phases of getting in shape. I totally get where your coming from though. I've had a few friends try to sell me on body wraps and thrive a few times when I've mentioned anything. There's no use trying to explain those things don't work and are scams. And I also get people who judge me based on what I'm eating, like Greek yogurt and Berries or big salads or veggies and are not very nice when I say, "Oh I'm just trying to get into a little better shape and be a little healthier." It's annoying to say the least.
  • bethannien
    bethannien Posts: 556 Member
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    I'm not talking about it either except with my husband. I have a few reasons for this. Chief among them is that I have been very open about trying to lose weight in the past and I either have fallen off very quickly and been embarrassed when asked how it was going. Or I've been very successful and then gained every pound back (usually with a few new pounds along for the ride).

    The second big reason is that I'm not really doing this for anyone but me.

    So this community has been really helpful in supporting me.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,598 Member
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    I doubt anyone IRL is even remotely interested in hearing about my diet and exercise lol so unless they bring it up I say nothing.
  • Chilli7777
    Chilli7777 Posts: 112 Member
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    Only my husband, kids, mum and youngest sister know about ny journey. I don't feel the need to tell friends because the thin ones dont care and the fat ones wont want me to succeed lol. Probably not true, but anyway! I started a secret page on facebook that only i can see...sort of like a blog...thinking of seeing if anyone wants to join in. I will always keep the group secret because i dont want to attract negative people who as you said will only want to throw their 2c in. If youre interested let me know :smile:
  • StrongGirlFitGirl
    StrongGirlFitGirl Posts: 183 Member
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    I shared my plans with just a few people when I started my diet in June. I picked the people who would be most helpful, or who needed to know. I'm following a plan under medical supervision that is very low carb and fat, high in protein, and very low calorie. A lot of people don't understand it, so they want to lecture me about how bad it is - which it is not. I trust my medical team.
    Anyway, I understand not getting into it IRL. We can be friends here if you want! I don't judge at all :)
  • novamagma
    novamagma Posts: 37 Member
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    I'm right there with you. In the past, whenever I've expressed my problems with my weight and desire to get in shape, I'm just met with words like, "oh but you're not fat" and "eat whatever you want! you dont have to diet!" which are well meant but really not helpful, and definitely don't help me feel better with my body. It's easier just to say nothing. I'd love to try and find support online, mfp seems like a really supportive community overall!
  • zoritt
    zoritt Posts: 68 Member
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    Only my partner knows and our 5yo son who loves to exercise with me (he does his own version of course). I don't discuss my fitness and weight goals with anyone. I only recently joined and hope to meet others to support me.
  • AriaLace
    AriaLace Posts: 59 Member
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    I feel the same way. I don't speak to anyone about it except my mum because we're both doing it together. I feel that between her and the forums and friends here I have enough support.

    I get what you're saying about people selling you their methods. There's a big push in my area for forever living supplements and shakes and as soon as someone talks about dieting there's a huge group of people swarming around them trying to sell them something that probably doesn't work!

    Sometimes it's easier to keep diet and fitness to yourself, that's how I feel in my case.
  • spells1977
    spells1977 Posts: 146 Member
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    I keep my diet to myself also. At first I kept it quiet because I had failed so many times that it was embarrassing thinking that others could see how I couldn't stick with it. I then started to be successful and obviously people did start noticing my weight loss but with that became some negativity and jealousy and the need to question the way I went about things. i.e Everyone is different and responds to their own way of doing things. So the way my body responds is to eat 1600 cals a day, log everything, stick to a low carb, moderate fat and high protein diet and work out 3 - 4 days a week and have one cheat night a week. Suddenly all my friends and co-workers all became nutritionists etc over night and kept questioning me about it. I couldn't understand why it was a big deal when it was working! I was still eating things I wanted to eat and I enjoy working out so what does it matter? If I want to eat organic produce I will! I don't care if they think that's a waste of time...to me it's not! I would never EVER tell anyone else what to eat/do so I don't get why others would want to tell me. Therefore I keep it all to myself other than my partner who is so supportive. I've come to realise that my journey is personal to me so I want to keep it to just me :)
  • webyj
    webyj Posts: 19 Member
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    I have a hard time sticking with stuff, MFP community is great but I need my IRL peeps to keep me honest. I didn't admit to them I was tying until someone noticed n said something. After that I was "yeah, I am" and it grew from there. I have an album on FB that I keep my specific weight loss related stuff (progress pics and my cooking creations etc) and it really helps to motivate me.
    After years of tying to go alone with it and failing miserably I decided to throw it out there and maybe this time it'll stick.
    You have to do what feels best for you. Good luck!
  • Bialetti62
    Bialetti62 Posts: 48 Member
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    Anybody here want to add an an encouraging pal to walk the walk? Please message me. I've been on here for about a year and only have one or two friends I can count on for daily encouragement. If they bail on me idk what I'd do. Not looking for 100 fake friends or people who criticize the fact that I don't post what I eat or when I exercise. I'm too private for that. We all walk this fitness journey differently and for varying reasons. It's not my role to criticize anyone for their motivation, but to encourage everyone (who wants it) to stick with their plan. If you're up for that kind of support I'd love to hear from you.
    A little bit about me: I'm 53, our kids (twins) are both in college now (I'm really feeling lost w/o them. We were besties)! Just transitioned back to the U.S. from my husband's job in Europe. Major move in so many respects. Have a great re-start week everyone!!
  • Bialetti62
    Bialetti62 Posts: 48 Member
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    My phone/app is not allowing me to compose complete messages so if anyone is possibly interested in being MFP pals please feel free to message me.
  • Roobyzooby
    Roobyzooby Posts: 189 Member
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    I don't broadcast the fact that I'm trying to loose weight, I live quite close to my in laws and they are very critical, to the point of being mean and bitchy, past experience has taught me to just keep it too myself. I have one accountability buddy, my best friend for the last 15 years, we no longer live in the same country, so we message each other each Monday with our weekly weigh in's.
  • Bialetti62
    Bialetti62 Posts: 48 Member
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    Roobyzooby wrote: »
    I don't broadcast the fact that I'm trying to loose weight, I live quite close to my in laws and they are very critical, to the point of being mean and bitchy, past experience has taught me to just keep it too myself. I have one accountability buddy, my best friend for the last 15 years, we no longer live in the same country, so we message each other each Monday with our weekly weigh in's.
    My in-laws have made me very self-conscious over the years and they have their positive attributes but talking fitness and weight loss with them used to be a losing situation. They're older now....
  • oceandaisies
    oceandaisies Posts: 47 Member
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    I haven't told anyone IRL that I was trying to lose weight and get more active, well except my hubby. I am a very private person at the best of times and am not into the numerous "lose weight fast" scams out there. If asked directly I wouldn't lie but not broadcasting my goals. I have lost 25lbs so far since June 1st and have had one coworker ask me if I have lost weight (I'm sure because my scrubs are getting a bit baggy these days!! LOL) just a couple days ago and I told her I had and was trying to lose more. She didn't pry, just expressed her encouragement for me. I haven't posted much on mfp before but I read the posts for inspiration.
    Anyone can feel free to add me as a friend. My diary is open to friends and I think we can inspire each other to continue on our journey to health!
  • Cahgetsfit
    Cahgetsfit Posts: 1,912 Member
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    I kept quiet about my weightloss for almost two years :) Then I started to prep for a competition and still kept quiet but then one day I just blurted it out there to the whole wide world.

    Didn't end up competing or anything but anyway, yeah, it was a private thing for a loooooooooooong time.

  • rainbow198
    rainbow198 Posts: 2,245 Member
    edited September 2016
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    I'm maintaining now, but when I first started losing weight I said nothing about my weight loss and went through the process practically alone. I was apart of another forum, but I wasn't very vocal. I'm quiet, very private and an introvert anyway so it wasn't shocking.

    My husband of course knew and some people I am close to (my mom and brother), but that's it. Plus I didn't want all eyes on me and people watching me so I liked keeping quiet.

    It worked really well for me until people started noticing "something different" about me. Then I could no longer hide. And then came the questions...ahhhhh!

    If someone asked me a question I would answer, but I would never bring weight loss topics up. I only talked about health, fitness and nutrition with my online fitness friends and I still do the same today.

    I quickly learned that most people aren't interested in hearing me talk about being mindful of my calories and how much I'm eating and that I workout everyday. They want to know what I used to lose the weight (a diet, a pill etc.), so I avoid giving details unless they specifically ask.

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