Enough is Enough!

We were parking in front of our grocery store, when a rather big lady crossed in front of our car. She had a hard time walking. Her big belly hang over her jeans, she didn’t look very attractive.
“I don’t know how some people can do THAT to themselves,” my husband said and I could see disgust in his eyes.

I looked at the woman. She was a little bit heavier than me, but it was like looking in the mirror. I saw myself, maybe 50 pounds more and I will be exactly where she is today.

I let myself go, gained weight and gained more weight over the last 10 years. First it was just 10 or 20 pounds I needed to lose, then it was more toward 50.

No big deal! I got rid of the scale and switched to elastic pants. The plus size store became my new favorite shopping place…life was good.

For sure nobody would notice that I had just gained 70+ pounds in just 3 years?
I didn’t stop there. My unhealthy lifestyle continued. I sat at my desk all day long; I stopped walking the dog and ate more and more comfort food.
“I am almost 50, we all gain weight when we hit menopause,” I thought and found comfort knowing I wasn’t alone.

Our intimacy suffered from my weight gain. Not because of my husband, but because of me. I didn’t feel comfortable anymore, didn’t feel sexy or just wasn’t in the mood. (This is very hard to confess, but it is the truth.)

Oh, well…there was always more food to numb myself. No big deal!
I chose the name “BigandFurious” because that’s what I am. I am rather tall, I weigh 283 lbs and I am furious with myself.
Enough is enough!

I can’t sit in a restaurant booth anymore; I don’t fit in. I can’t walk our dog and I am too big to wear any decent clothes. I feel ugly and I know what many will say now. “Don’t worry dear, you are still beautiful.”

I know you all mean well, but it is not the truth. I am obese, I lost my chin, it’s somewhere under a layer of fat. My boobs are gigantic and I huff and puff when I walk.

I am not beautiful, neither am I attractive. I am BIGandFurious
I did it to myself. Sweets, candy and comfort food, combined with wine or beer -a deadly combination, when you think about it.

I am married to a great man who loves me. I have a good job and I don’t have any reason to overeat the way I do. Still I do it –every day.

I am here to lose 10 pounds and then 10 more pounds and then another 10 until I hit my goal weight. All together I will lose 100+ lbs and it will take a long time.

I would love to find friends here who are big and furious as well. I hope I won’t be alone on this journey, there will be bitching and whining. There will be pity parties and curse words but I am going to take care of myself now. I guess what I am trying to say is that I could use some help :)

Enough is Enough!
Thank you all for reading!


  • Catawampous
    Catawampous Posts: 447 Member
    Hey hey ... totally get you! You can add me if you like. I'm 54 and on a quest to drop 50!
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,015 Member
    Being honest with yourself is the first step. If you want to live a long and healthy life time to buckle down. Follow MFP's instructions and you will start to see progress. Try to move more--anything is good to start. It's better to start slow and gradually increase whatever you decide to do. You have alot to live for and you're lucky that your husband stands by you. Good luck.
  • Verchild
    Verchild Posts: 866 Member
    Step one is to admit there is a problem, step two is to get the knowledge to do something about it, step three is to do it.

    We all start this journey in difference places, the point is that we are all on the same road. You got this girl, it will take time, but you got this.
  • upoffthemat
    upoffthemat Posts: 679 Member
    Being furious isn't a bad place to start

    It is a really bad place to end up though, during this journey work on learning to respect and like yourself at any weight and for more reasons than just the number on the scale. I lost a lot of weight hating myself before, but it just wasn't sustainable. This time I am losing it because I love myself, corny as that sounds. I am honest with myself, but I am more comfortable with making this permanent for the right reasons.
  • KrazyLeeLee
    KrazyLeeLee Posts: 2,885 Member
    Thanks for sharing, I hope your fitness journey brings you health and happiness :)
  • nancybuss
    nancybuss Posts: 1,461 Member
    Welcome !!! YOU GO GIRL!
    Now also Print this Post for YOURSELF for those days when its not "fun" to eat the healthy food. On the days you want to say "Oh this won't matter" but deep down you know it will. Re-read your own words but really FEEL IT!
    I can Feel the feelings in your post. When you remember that you're doing this for You and how you Feel, You'll keep at it!

    Here's to losing 10 pounds!
    I agree on nutrition. Eat those Healthy foods. Reach out. Stay within a Proper range for you. Don't think that 'cutting more will make it go faster" it will make you miserable.... Stay in Your range
    You've got this!
    Welcome to the beginning of the New You!

    Feel free to add me if you'd like!
  • sharon566359
    sharon566359 Posts: 19 Member
    I am in awe of your honesty, I only have maybe 20lbs to lose but your story really resinates with me, I feel the same as you but on a smaller scale, excuse the pun
  • Brandi92809
    Brandi92809 Posts: 78 Member
    You and I are very much alike! Most of your post I can say the same thing for myself! I like your goal of losing 10 pounds at a time sometimes I look at how much I need to lose and get overwhelmed. I am big in weight but small and still furious! I will join you in your weight loss journey! ^_^
  • NicoleMichael62
    NicoleMichael62 Posts: 50 Member
    It is always hard being so open about your struggles but that is the best way to start.
  • lindamtuck
    lindamtuck Posts: 17 Member
    You sound like I am about now. I have scared myself how much weight I have gained. Today a doctor refused to do a surgical procedure on me because of my weight and medical problems. I need to open my eyes and get on track. Thanks for telling it as it is!
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
    It's a sign of success to come that you start with a profile photo of your phone Before.
  • tess77h
    tess77h Posts: 40 Member
    You can add me if you want. I am re-starting this journey and intend to be successful this time. I am diabetic and have just started having some issues because of it. I've also joined my local TOPS chapter so hopefully there will be lots of encouragement, tips, ideas, etc.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    So many people never get to the place of honesty that you're at. It's tough, but it's so freeing and life-changing. You can totally do this! Good luck!
  • theresakruse48
    theresakruse48 Posts: 76 Member
    Hi I started my journey the day after Easter at 282lbs. ..I was very sick and i was afraid I was gonna die...I was furious with myself for getting so big and falling apart...that was 60lbs + ago and I'm a lot healthier...I still around 90 left to lose..its never easy and it gets downright hard sometimes but I keep plugging along because I know,there is a thin youngish healthy 50yr old inside me dying to come out and play!! You can do it..when things get rough REMEMBER YOUR WHY...why you started doing this journey...and keep going!! Feel free to add me!!
  • BigandFurious
    BigandFurious Posts: 33 Member
    I came back online, not sure what to expect but was hoping I would find one reply.

    I just read all of your responses and send a few friend requests. It is such a great feeling knowing I will not be alone on this journey. Let's face it; I will be here for a while and now I know I won't be lonely. There are people just like me, who fight the same fight, some with more and some with fewer pounds to lose.

    I will print this post and will read it, when I will feel uninspired.

    Taking this embarrassing picture today was hard and sharing it was even harder. However, as Jerome said, it is only a BEFORE picture. The new ones will be AFTER pictures only.

    Thank you. I feel very motivated.
  • DoctahJenn
    DoctahJenn Posts: 616 Member
    I'm not big. I'm short, and I don't have much left to lose. But I'm a ginger, and we all know redheads are typically angry. ;) You sound like someone I'd honestly enjoy having on my feed, just because of your honesty and the determination I see here. If you're ok with me being mostly just a geek who's learning to run, feel free to add me. :)
  • BigandFurious
    BigandFurious Posts: 33 Member
    DoctahJenn wrote: »
    I'm not big. I'm short, and I don't have much left to lose. But I'm a ginger, and we all know redheads are typically angry. ;) You sound like someone I'd honestly enjoy having on my feed, just because of your honesty and the determination I see here. If you're ok with me being mostly just a geek who's learning to run, feel free to add me. :)

    I would be delighted to have a skinny friend as well. :smiley: Who knows, I might get a wild hair and will try running myself one day in
  • aduhmads
    aduhmads Posts: 27 Member
    The funny thing is most of us feel the exact same way you do but are afraid to admit it.. thanks for saying it out loud. Gives the rest of us the courage to admit it too. 10 lbs at a time is a great goal to have.. keep this up. I do agree that diet is key but moving is all the more crucial now. So here is what I did. I bought a Wii fit. I did it in the comfort of my home. And they have a lot of fun exercises, the steps, and the games.. it makes it a good workout to start with. I did Wii fit religiously for over a year.. (I wouldn't dare go to a gym for fear of being judged.. I judged myself so why shouldn't others was my thought).. and I lost about 40 lbs. I swear by that thing.. it gave me the confidence to step out after a year and join a gym. The reason why I like it better than workout videos is that it actually motivates you.. and coz it's a game and a challenge.. u end up pushing yourself just a tad bit more every day. Hope this helps..good luck.. u can add me if you'd like..
  • LoveJones312
    LoveJones312 Posts: 27 Member
    I read your story and I loved it! I feel like that most times.. I've been up and down on the scale for years and riding this rodeo again. So many blessings to you my dear.. I too want to lose 100+ lbs but a little at a time. Please do add me.