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I feel like a drug addict

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*disclaimer* I've never been addicted to drugs (thankfully) so I'm not completely sure if this is what it feels like but if I tried to imagine, this would be it.

Does anyone else feel like they are addicted to food? It's what makes dieting seem so hard! I'm constantly thinking about it, obsessing even. "What can I have... What can't I have..." There is a constant battle in my head. I try to make each day it's own small victory. It feels like every time I weigh myself I receive my new AA chip and you all are my sponsors. Maybe I AM a food JUNKIE and this isn't just an analogy.

Ultimately I'm trying to change my lifestyle here, not just be on a temporary diet. The concept of having to worry about calories every day for the rest of my life feels ominous.

It's not just the road to losing the weight that overwhelms me, I also have to worry about maintenance thereafter. Does the struggle ever end???

Why can't I just be FAT and HAPPY???

Someone recently told me that I need to start thinking of food as fuel for my body rather than a reward for my taste buds. It's just so hard to make that switch. I want to live carefree without constantly thinking about what I put in my mouth. Does it stay this hard after weight loss? Is maintenance easier than I'm imagining?

I'm sure I'm getting carried away here. After all, I just began my weight loss journey 2 weeks ago. There is still a long road ahead of me. My goal weight feels so distant that I wonder if it's even attainable at times. Sometimes I think, "why bother?"

Anyway, these are just some of my real thoughts and somehow I suspect I'm not alone with them. It helps to get them out. Thank you to anyone who bothered to read this. And if you did, add me and let's be each other's sponsors! I'll hand out your chips. :)

-Lily
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Replies

  • oberledj
    oberledj Posts: 4 Member
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    Ive been an addict my whole life. Cigarettes at 9. Alchoholic at 17. Addict at 19...

    Pretty sure it all started with food. I get cravings for things like mcdonalds, or oreos... And its as bad as needing a rail of coke or a drink. I know theres not a goddam good thing in it... But my brain conjures the taste, the smell... Next thing its 2:10am and "Ill have a double big mac meal, supersized with a chocolate shake, a double quarter pounder with cheese, just the burger, and a 2 cheeseburger meal, no onions, extra pickles, with a root beer." Which is like 5000 calories from nothing recognizeable as food...

    I strongly nelieve food, and eating, are an addiction for some people. Couldnt convince me otherwise.
  • fatfudgery
    fatfudgery Posts: 449 Member
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    I don't know if overeating can technically be classified as an addiction, but viewing it through the paradigm of addiction is certainly helpful in understanding and managing the behaviors that make us fat - it sure as hell feels like an addiction to me, anyway!

    In my experience, it doesn't change much once you reach maintenance (or when you bulk, if you ever go that route) but I can tell you that it does get easier with time. If you can stick with it long enough so that the changes you're doing now become habits, it comes a point where you don't even think about them: you brush your teeth every day, you shower, you go to work, you track your food and monitor your weight. It's all just a normal part of life.

    Hang in there, I promise you it gets easier!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Stop thinking of food as good and bad and restricting yourself unnecessarily and you may not struggle so much
  • ChaleGirl
    ChaleGirl Posts: 270 Member
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    This is exactly how I feel! I feel like I'm quite pathetic as I'm so weak with food!!
  • kanerz14
    kanerz14 Posts: 85 Member
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    My God,
    I just came on to write my own post very similar to this. I have been really struggling with this recently, "why can't I just be fat and happy"?? It's not the nicest or likely accurate assumption, but I know exactly how you feel; I often look towards heavier people and wonder what it'd be like to have the freedom of mindset to eat what they want without really giving it a second thought; I used to have this mindset and I gotta admit it was a happier place.

    Now I am maintaining my weight and the novelty of the changes in my body have kinda worn off. I have these thoughts more often. I honestly see food as a reward and it really pisses me off that I gotta run around 9 miles just to eat what I'd consider more normal. (maintaining at 1800...runningcycling to eat 2500)
  • lapierrecyclist
    lapierrecyclist Posts: 153 Member
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    This summer I was really struggling. Mid-summer, something happened that gave me motivation to fix my health, that it was now or face serious consequences. I gave up bread and junk food, ate fruits for my sweets, and I also ate more protein (chicken, eggs, nuts, salmon). I stopped going to McDonald's. I stopped eating at night. I logged everything. And I moved more. It was really, really hard for the first little bit. But after 30 days of eating healthy, I noticed my cravings were gone. After 60+ days I find myself needing exercise. And this time the weight is NOT going to come back on. As you've said, they are lifestyle changes.

    So my top suggestions are to eat more fruit and especially more protein. Have a roasted chicken thigh for a snack in the afternoon. And prioritize exercise. Think about why you want to lose weight. Having a really solid reason helps you to fight for yourself every day.

    Don't give up. Keep going and keep experimenting. You'll find what works best for you.
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
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    ChaleGirl wrote: »
    This is exactly how I feel! I feel like I'm quite pathetic as I'm so weak with food!!

    Everything about this statement makes me worry about you. "quite pathetic" ...."weak"....why are you giving food so much power over you? It's food, meant to fuel and feed you...meant to satisfy and comfort you...Get right in your head about the food, and it'll have less power over how you feel about yourself. xo
  • not_my_first_rodeo
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    I have been on this merry-go-round before. This is the first time I've been looking at it through the lens of a possible addiction and I have to say, for me and my personal situation, it really really makes a lot of sense. I have a long-term, complicated, emotionally dependent relationship with food.

    I'm not sure what to do with that realization. I've been blogging about my journey and my emotions and I think it's helping, but for the first time ever, I've come to think that there is something in this idea of food addiction.

    You're not alone.
  • lily083087
    lily083087 Posts: 21 Member
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    Jakep2323 wrote: »
    I saw a documentary once that said people can be addicted to food and therefore it is much harder to diet as you have to eat. The line they said was 'imagine an alcoholic had to drink one drink a day' - it would be very difficult for them to stick at one.
    Anyways, I know it is tough but try and surround yourself with food with lower calories so you can eat as much as you want. Focus on staying below your calorie allowance for the moment and don't worry too much about what you are eating and then you can build it up as you go. I don't know if you work out, but obviously exercise will open up your daily allowance meaning you don't have to be as strict with yourself..best of luck mate

    Yes! This is exactly what I mean, that documentary sounds like it would hit close to home with me. What triggered this post was coming home from work last night to my roommate eating a delicious looking pizza meanwhile there is a piece of grilled chicken with veggies sitting in the fridge for me. The chicken immediately became very unappealing to me. It's not about evil food vs good food but I obviously have to start making better choices with food if I want to see a change. Temptation is everywhere! As hard as it was, I chose the chicken. (although I did snatch a pepperoni off the pizza and a small edge lol)
    It boils down to what do I want more? A nice figure or a yummy snack. "A minute on the lips, forever on the hips"
    I really don't think my "food addiction" is extreme, it's more of an analogy to express the struggle with adjusting to a new lifestyle and making the right choices. I need to be stronger than my cravings! It's more mental for some people I guess.
    Anyway, thanks for your feedback!! Today is a new day!
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
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    lily083087 wrote: »
    Jakep2323 wrote: »
    I saw a documentary once that said people can be addicted to food and therefore it is much harder to diet as you have to eat. The line they said was 'imagine an alcoholic had to drink one drink a day' - it would be very difficult for them to stick at one.
    Anyways, I know it is tough but try and surround yourself with food with lower calories so you can eat as much as you want. Focus on staying below your calorie allowance for the moment and don't worry too much about what you are eating and then you can build it up as you go. I don't know if you work out, but obviously exercise will open up your daily allowance meaning you don't have to be as strict with yourself..best of luck mate

    Yes! This is exactly what I mean, that documentary sounds like it would hit close to home with me. What triggered this post was coming home from work last night to my roommate eating a delicious looking pizza meanwhile there is a piece of grilled chicken with veggies sitting in the fridge for me. The chicken immediately became very unappealing to me. It's not about evil food vs good food but I obviously have to start making better choices with food if I want to see a change. Temptation is everywhere! As hard as it was, I chose the chicken. (although I did snatch a pepperoni off the pizza and a small edge lol)
    It boils down to what do I want more? A nice figure or a yummy snack. "A minute on the lips, forever on the hips"
    I really don't think my "food addiction" is extreme, it's more of an analogy to express the struggle with adjusting to a new lifestyle and making the right choices. I need to be stronger than my cravings! It's more mental for some people I guess.
    Anyway, thanks for your feedback!! Today is a new day!

    It sounds like more of a willpower and self discipline issue than an addiction, thank goodness!! If it were addiction, you would have tossed the chicken and eaten half the pizza..healthy choices be damned. You are stronger than your cravings, you've already shown that. Now you just need to stay consistent to see results. Me thinks you've got it figured out, don't make it harder on yourself than you need to! xo
  • lily083087
    lily083087 Posts: 21 Member
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    Please don't use the phrase "a minute on the lips, forever on the hips" as it is untrue and it is used mostly in the pro ana world.

    I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was offensive or used mostly in that world. To me it's just an expression to remind myself that eating something high in calories and low in nutrition isn't worth it in the long run when my goal is to lose weight.
  • singingflutelady
    singingflutelady Posts: 8,736 Member
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    If you have issues with moderation sure but lots of people include the occasional high calorie food in their diet and have no issues losing weight.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
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    Well being fat kind of wrecks your health. I was on board with "fat and happy" until I discovered I was borderline diabetic. oops.

    Lots of people have a disordered relationship with food and disordered eating patterns even if they would not clinically qualify as having an eating disorder. You might be like this. I definitely am.
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
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    newmeadow wrote: »
    lily083087 wrote: »
    Jakep2323 wrote: »
    I saw a documentary once that said people can be addicted to food and therefore it is much harder to diet as you have to eat. The line they said was 'imagine an alcoholic had to drink one drink a day' - it would be very difficult for them to stick at one.
    Anyways, I know it is tough but try and surround yourself with food with lower calories so you can eat as much as you want. Focus on staying below your calorie allowance for the moment and don't worry too much about what you are eating and then you can build it up as you go. I don't know if you work out, but obviously exercise will open up your daily allowance meaning you don't have to be as strict with yourself..best of luck mate

    Yes! This is exactly what I mean, that documentary sounds like it would hit close to home with me. What triggered this post was coming home from work last night to my roommate eating a delicious looking pizza meanwhile there is a piece of grilled chicken with veggies sitting in the fridge for me. The chicken immediately became very unappealing to me. It's not about evil food vs good food but I obviously have to start making better choices with food if I want to see a change. Temptation is everywhere! As hard as it was, I chose the chicken. (although I did snatch a pepperoni off the pizza and a small edge lol)
    It boils down to what do I want more? A nice figure or a yummy snack. "A minute on the lips, forever on the hips"
    I really don't think my "food addiction" is extreme, it's more of an analogy to express the struggle with adjusting to a new lifestyle and making the right choices. I need to be stronger than my cravings! It's more mental for some people I guess.
    Anyway, thanks for your feedback!! Today is a new day!

    It sounds like more of a willpower and self discipline issue than an addiction, thank goodness!! If it were addiction, you would have tossed the chicken and eaten half the pizza..healthy choices be damned. You are stronger than your cravings, you've already shown that. Now you just need to stay consistent to see results. Me thinks you've got it figured out, don't make it harder on yourself than you need to! xo

    Nope. With addiction behavior all the chicken and all the pizza would have been eaten. Surreptitiously of course, after the roommate had gone to bed and wouldn't have immediately discovered it. And the eating everything in sight would have gone on into the wee morning hours. And maybe then there'd be a little run to the convenience store at 4 a.m. in an attempt to replace what was eaten because it belonged to someone else. If there was enough money left on the debit card to do that.

    Sounds much like "binging"...been there!
  • singingflutelady
    singingflutelady Posts: 8,736 Member
    Options
    newmeadow wrote: »
    lily083087 wrote: »
    Jakep2323 wrote: »
    I saw a documentary once that said people can be addicted to food and therefore it is much harder to diet as you have to eat. The line they said was 'imagine an alcoholic had to drink one drink a day' - it would be very difficult for them to stick at one.
    Anyways, I know it is tough but try and surround yourself with food with lower calories so you can eat as much as you want. Focus on staying below your calorie allowance for the moment and don't worry too much about what you are eating and then you can build it up as you go. I don't know if you work out, but obviously exercise will open up your daily allowance meaning you don't have to be as strict with yourself..best of luck mate

    Yes! This is exactly what I mean, that documentary sounds like it would hit close to home with me. What triggered this post was coming home from work last night to my roommate eating a delicious looking pizza meanwhile there is a piece of grilled chicken with veggies sitting in the fridge for me. The chicken immediately became very unappealing to me. It's not about evil food vs good food but I obviously have to start making better choices with food if I want to see a change. Temptation is everywhere! As hard as it was, I chose the chicken. (although I did snatch a pepperoni off the pizza and a small edge lol)
    It boils down to what do I want more? A nice figure or a yummy snack. "A minute on the lips, forever on the hips"
    I really don't think my "food addiction" is extreme, it's more of an analogy to express the struggle with adjusting to a new lifestyle and making the right choices. I need to be stronger than my cravings! It's more mental for some people I guess.
    Anyway, thanks for your feedback!! Today is a new day!

    It sounds like more of a willpower and self discipline issue than an addiction, thank goodness!! If it were addiction, you would have tossed the chicken and eaten half the pizza..healthy choices be damned. You are stronger than your cravings, you've already shown that. Now you just need to stay consistent to see results. Me thinks you've got it figured out, don't make it harder on yourself than you need to! xo

    Nope. With addiction behavior all the chicken and all the pizza would have been eaten. Surreptitiously of course, after the roommate had gone to bed and wouldn't have immediately discovered it. And the eating everything in sight would have gone on into the wee morning hours. And maybe then there'd be a little run to the convenience store at 4 a.m. in an attempt to replace what was eaten because it belonged to someone else. If there was enough money left on the debit card to do that.

    Sounds much like "binging"...been there!

    Me too! I'm a mostly recovered anorexic binge/ purge and boy I have had some epic binges! I still easily get in the restriction-binge cycle but both are less epic and I'm normal weight.
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
    Options
    newmeadow wrote: »
    lily083087 wrote: »
    Jakep2323 wrote: »
    I saw a documentary once that said people can be addicted to food and therefore it is much harder to diet as you have to eat. The line they said was 'imagine an alcoholic had to drink one drink a day' - it would be very difficult for them to stick at one.
    Anyways, I know it is tough but try and surround yourself with food with lower calories so you can eat as much as you want. Focus on staying below your calorie allowance for the moment and don't worry too much about what you are eating and then you can build it up as you go. I don't know if you work out, but obviously exercise will open up your daily allowance meaning you don't have to be as strict with yourself..best of luck mate

    Yes! This is exactly what I mean, that documentary sounds like it would hit close to home with me. What triggered this post was coming home from work last night to my roommate eating a delicious looking pizza meanwhile there is a piece of grilled chicken with veggies sitting in the fridge for me. The chicken immediately became very unappealing to me. It's not about evil food vs good food but I obviously have to start making better choices with food if I want to see a change. Temptation is everywhere! As hard as it was, I chose the chicken. (although I did snatch a pepperoni off the pizza and a small edge lol)
    It boils down to what do I want more? A nice figure or a yummy snack. "A minute on the lips, forever on the hips"
    I really don't think my "food addiction" is extreme, it's more of an analogy to express the struggle with adjusting to a new lifestyle and making the right choices. I need to be stronger than my cravings! It's more mental for some people I guess.
    Anyway, thanks for your feedback!! Today is a new day!

    It sounds like more of a willpower and self discipline issue than an addiction, thank goodness!! If it were addiction, you would have tossed the chicken and eaten half the pizza..healthy choices be damned. You are stronger than your cravings, you've already shown that. Now you just need to stay consistent to see results. Me thinks you've got it figured out, don't make it harder on yourself than you need to! xo

    Nope. With addiction behavior all the chicken and all the pizza would have been eaten. Surreptitiously of course, after the roommate had gone to bed and wouldn't have immediately discovered it. And the eating everything in sight would have gone on into the wee morning hours. And maybe then there'd be a little run to the convenience store at 4 a.m. in an attempt to replace what was eaten because it belonged to someone else. If there was enough money left on the debit card to do that.

    Sounds much like "binging"...been there!

    Me too! I'm a mostly recovered anorexic binge/ purge and boy I have had some epic binges! I still easily get in the restriction-binge cycle but both are less epic and I'm normal weight.

    Here too..and the binge events only happen rarely now...Major struggle, but one that's surmountable to be sure. xo