Does anyone else feel like if they have a 'nice body', they will be better looking?

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hillabeans24
hillabeans24 Posts: 10 Member
in Chit-Chat
I have lost weight over the past year or so and i'm doing well keeping it off. People tell me i'm 'definitely not fat'. i do look toned and whatnot. but of course, i dont see the body i want yet. which is pretty much any model you see on tv. i've never been, or have never felt, attractive in general. But i feel like if i have this awesome body, i'll be happier and feel better about myself. i find myself struggling with these last five or ten pounds. and even though the scale says a good number and my clothes sizes have changed, my body doesnt look the way i want it to. and i keep thinking if i just lost another five pounds, another ten, get down to the 120s, i'll like transform in the eyes of others and suddenly be worth getting a second look at. despite hiit training and plyometrics, i am doing t25 and did jillian michaels bodyshred, run, etc. i find myself seeing the results others have apparently achieved through these programs and i'm like, how?! how do you possibly have a six pack now? and it's so frustrating. i get they're advertising and maybe these aren't 'everday people'. but still.

does anyone else feel like 'that body' is the answer?

Replies

  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
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    That Body is not the answer. You can't control what you look like and no matter what the number on the scale your body may or may not ever look like a supermodel. Your body is made to do things, not just be eye candy, so if you are active and strong and can do the stuff you want to do in life, that's a win. If you are already a healthy weight then having a thinner body isn't going to change anything. You are already beautiful and worth a second look, and you are probably the only person who doesn't know it yet.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,135 Member
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    Yes, but it will require more work, effort, time, and money than I'm willing to put in to get the body I want so I can feel attractive.

    I've lost a lot of weight and I'm still the same person inside. How I look hasn't changed that.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
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    yea but for me to have that body id need to have 15 grad for a body lift to get rid of all the loose excess skin crap

    do i think having that body would suddenly make people find me attractive

    yea probably.
  • peaceout_aly
    peaceout_aly Posts: 2,018 Member
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    tcunbeliever wrote: »
    That Body is not the answer. You can't control what you look like and no matter what the number on the scale your body may or may not ever look like a supermodel. Your body is made to do things, not just be eye candy, so if you are active and strong and can do the stuff you want to do in life, that's a win. If you are already a healthy weight then having a thinner body isn't going to change anything. You are already beautiful and worth a second look, and you are probably the only person who doesn't know it yet.

    ^^^ THIS. Accept and love yourself. I'm not saying to be complacent, always strive to be the best you that you can be, but realize that you are never going to be able to conform your body to look exactly like someone else's. My body will never look like Ana Cheri's, or Jennifer Anniston's or Angelina Jolie's. I will only look like me, the best version of me. Set goals for yourself, but gain confidence and self-love for the strength that your body is capable of and for how far it has brought you on your fitness journey.
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
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    Changing your body will simply make you see an altered appearance of the exact same person. I am by no means at the body I want. However, I used to be chubby and unnoticed. While it is fun knowing that most women find me very attractive now, it really doesn't impact my life in much of any way. And when/if I get to the body I want (I say if because I do like the way I look, and I like cake, which takes away some of the incentive to get to that ultimate shredded look), nothing much will change.
  • rebel_26
    rebel_26 Posts: 1,826 Member
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    Ill never have the body I want since IMO I started way too late for the physique I have in mind. since I am unwilling to chemically alter my progress Ill never reach goal but will continue TRYING to get there through persistence and hard work. I am constantly asked if I work everywhere I go so at least I can say people notice I have a weightlifting lifestyle. Also through this lifestyle change of about 10 years ago I have cheated age as most people can never guess my age unless they heard me say it.
  • thisonetimeatthegym
    thisonetimeatthegym Posts: 1,977 Member
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    hillabeans24 wrote: »
    I have lost weight over the past year or so and i'm doing well keeping it off. People tell me i'm 'definitely not fat'. i do look toned and whatnot. but of course, i dont see the body i want yet. which is pretty much any model you see on tv. i've never been, or have never felt, attractive in general. But i feel like if i have this awesome body, i'll be happier and feel better about myself. i find myself struggling with these last five or ten pounds. and even though the scale says a good number and my clothes sizes have changed, my body doesnt look the way i want it to. and i keep thinking if i just lost another five pounds, another ten, get down to the 120s, i'll like transform in the eyes of others and suddenly be worth getting a second look at. despite hiit training and plyometrics, i am doing t25 and did jillian michaels bodyshred, run, etc. i find myself seeing the results others have apparently achieved through these programs and i'm like, how?! how do you possibly have a six pack now? and it's so frustrating. i get they're advertising and maybe these aren't 'everday people'. but still.

    does anyone else feel like 'that body' is the answer?

    I had "that body." I was MISERABLE.

    I got fat. And I was happy.

    I'm working toward my BEST body right now. What I learned is that happiness has more to do with your internal than external situation.

    When you feel bad about yourself, you look in the mirror, like I did, and say, "I only have a 4 pack. Why don't I have a 6 pack yet?"

    When you feel good about yourself, you can look at your doughy tummy, like I did and say, "well, it's looking better."

    Add to your workout, writing 5 things you are grateful for. The next day, write down 5 more. After a month of doing this daily, you might be ready to look in the mirror and like what you see, even if it's not a six pack.

    Best to you. You are enough, just the way you are right now.
  • musclegood_fatbad
    musclegood_fatbad Posts: 9,809 Member
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    A lot of how attractive you are comes down to confidence and how you think of yourself. By working out and being in great shape, you may perceive yourself to be better looking and therefore have more confidence and a better thought of yourself and by exuding that confidence, other people will pick up on it and many will find you more attractive as well. Rarely do you walk around without a shirt on to show off how great of shape you are for other people to judge you on. Keep confidence in yourself and others will pick up on it.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,506 Member
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    when I'm fit, I'm a jerk

    when I'm fat.... I'm a fat jerk

    I reckon that sometimes the truth hurts.
  • roamingtiger
    roamingtiger Posts: 747 Member
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    No, I'm already hot as fvck.
  • devilwhiterose
    devilwhiterose Posts: 1,157 Member
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    Nope. Beauty comes from within and I feel that it's all about how you carry yourself.

    I'm short, squishy, going prematurely grey, and have an understatement of a muffin top (I had twins)... but dammit, I am fun, awesome, my husband still finds me delectable, and I make a party everywhere I go.

    There is no "perfect" body.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    If, at 130 pounds, you don't think you're worth a second look, then you're probably not going to be happy with yourself at 120 pounds. This spoken by someone who got down to 115 lbs and still found so many things she hated about her body. Having a ridiculously hot bod didn't make up for the self love I was (and still am) seriously lacking.

    Do your best to be healthy and take care of your body, but never think that your appearance is what makes you worth anyone's time.
  • Fit4LifeGal79
    Fit4LifeGal79 Posts: 5,577 Member
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    I did feel this way but then I started out severly overweight. When you're talking 5-15 lb range I don't think it's going to make you more or less attractive. It might give you more self esteem then will those 5-10 lbs be enough? I struggled with knowing when to stop losing.
  • km8907
    km8907 Posts: 3,861 Member
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    First of all, the models on tv don't even look like the models on tv, and even if they do, I can guarantee they go through extremes to keep their bodies that way. I think wanting a perfect body is a normal feeling, but you're gonna drive yourself insane to get there, and probably will find something else to hate when you do get there. Find a place where you're happy about your body. Think about where you started and how much you've improved since then.
  • hillabeans24
    hillabeans24 Posts: 10 Member
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    Thanks for the responses everyone. Hopefully i didnt come across as shallow. i was 155 before i started mfp again last summer. and i had lost some weight on my own before then. but when i started doing hiit training and plyo, i guess i thought i would see crazy results since i never had done those workouts before, now i live by them. i get discouraged that after a year, i still dont have these results that i think i want or need. i have always been very insecure and self conscious about my body. and though i have more confidence in that regard now, i feel like i still am not where i should be. or question these people in these videos that have amazing results or are twice my age and look better than i do. which props totally. but i feel like i try so hard and still dont see what i want. perhaps i never will. and self love is more important. it'd just be easier to self love if i loved the outside. so i think.

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